Oh for God's sake!
A one thread day? Where is everyone? Don't tell me you're all watching X Factor or something!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 20:35, 111 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Is X Factor on?

(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 20:40, Reply)

Apparently.
We appear to be watching something about William the Conqueror.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

I'm here trawling tinternet.
Drinking cider and thinking about shit.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 20:41, Reply)

You are Jeff and Kroney AICMFP

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Good God I hope not.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)

Kroneys all lonely and shit, stop trying to depress him

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

But I feel his pain Rory.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)

A mystery b3tan is giving you a bloody good fingering, nobody wants to finger Kroney :(
You can tell me all the goss at the PIERB4SH!!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Nobody is fingering me Rory. It's all in your dirty mind.
I know you want me but you're just too shy to say so.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Biggers is after a fingering collective!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Sounds a bit hippy to me.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Present
Not necessarily correct.

Been working all day and now I'm going to scoff a bottle of cheap wine and collapse into my fetid pit.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 20:56, Reply)

Hello you.
That sounds like a plan.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)

It's my plan
And I'm sticking with it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)

I just got back from seeing Cowboys'n'Aliens.
It was alright but I don't think cowboys were real.

Here are my thoughts on it. www.coll3ctive.co.uk/reviews/film/paulypops/cowboys-and-aliens-unrealistic-no-way-cowboys-existed/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Ace review Gonz.
Can't wait to see it.

And Cowboys were never bored. Have you not seen Brokeback Mountain?
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Nah', seems depressing, isn't it about two young cowboys who shag on a mountain...
... and then go and lead hetrosexual lives until their wive's die and then they shag again back on the mountain? What a waste.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)

"One out of five, needs moar pugs. Would not watch again."

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)

I can not think of a single film that would not be improved by a pug based camio.
Look at Men In Black 2, for example.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)

I can't get behind this pug-based fascination.
They're not even nice dogs. Yu want a proper dog, like a GSD or a Collie...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Or a Flatcoat Retriever
No, don't get a Flatcoat. They run us ragged.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

I love 'real' dogs too, huskies, retrivers, alsations, collies, etc.
It's just that my lifestyle means I'd never potentially have one, or at least, not until I have a life-partner of some kind.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)

Get yourself a Greyhound
Positives:-
1 - They're dogs
2 - They don't need much exercise
3 - They are OK being left alone
4 - There's loads of them needing rescuing
5 - They're not destructive

Negatives:-
1 - They're thick
2 - They're virtually impossible to train
3 - Let them off the lead and you'll not see them again
4 - They're scavengers and will scoff any edible/inedible stuff lying around
5 - They last ten years at best
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Lurchers FTW.
The brains of a herder with the speed and playfulness of a hound.

Mine is fab.

Also, Greyhounds spend about 14 hours a day asleep. And they're great with children.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Lurchers are clever dogs
They get bored if they're left on their own and they've got a nasty side.

My ex wife had a Lurcher when I met her and he had a scary prediliction for sheep.

Nice dog but he was badly inbred and ended up with crippling arthritis at seven - we had to lose him, sadly.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)

Mine is ridiculously clever.
It means he gets bored quite easily. We've atarted taking him to playschool, which keeps him busy all day.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Greyhounds don't need much exercise??

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)

No, they're very lazy animals.
They spend most of the day asleep. They have one or two mad runs and come back inside for a sleep again.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

I think I prefer Jack Russells.
Never leave you alone but endless fun.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)

No they don't
They're sprinters. They're built and conditioned for short bursts of exercise.

Take 'em for a walk twice a day and that's fine.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Harrison Ford looks old and shit in that

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)

Hello, everyone.
Sorry to bother you lot but I was wondering if someone could help me? I'm having trouble trying to add friends on here. It keeps coming up with some sort of SQL error.

Anyone got any ideas? Could it have something to do with the fact that I'm not allowed a profile yet? Apparently, that's what B3ta told me...

Any help would be appreciated. :O)
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

???? not allowed a profile.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)

Certainly, you can't add friends because you're a fundamentally unloveable person
you fat fucking mess
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Well I don't think he'll be adding you for a start.
You've blown it.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)

WILL I EVER FIND LOVE ON B3TA :'('''''''

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

Only if you buy me a pint first.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:59, Reply)

+ of absinthe.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

Miss Blouse...
...Fundamentally, they're right. Otherwise, why else would I be on B3ta on a Saturday night?

OK, it seems mortgages are the topic of the night, so thanks to anybody who attempted my problem.

With regards to mortgages, and it's my advice only, you can't legally hold me to it, ignore the APR for overall comparison. It's pointless. It's the initial rate of interest (AKA: the teaser rate) which is the key part. With most mortgages, after the teaser rate is over (normally about 2 years, depending on mortgages) you can flip over to another mortgage with another teaser, you're normally under no obligation to stick with the current provider.

Now currently, fixed rate mortgages are at an all time low because the Bank of England (BOE) are nowhere near thinking about hiking interest rates up because the economy is so rubbish. Which means, your best bet (if I were you), would be a tracker mortgage. Funnily enough, I was research mortgages the other day and I saw a very good one from Natwest (link provided here: www.natwest.com/personal/mortgages/g3/variable-rate.ashx?tab=2) it follows the BOE interest rate (currently at 0.5%) and adds 1.99%. This lasts for 2 years (which most economists believe the BOE will hold the interest rate at 0.5%) there's no up front fee to pay and you can overpay (up to 10% of the mortgage outstanding) if you come into some extra money. My advice would be to talk to Natwest about this mortgage but don't forget to ask whether after the initial rate of interest (2 years) is up whether you have the option to move mortgages. You should be able to, but it doesn't hurt to double check.

But whatever you choose, it's your decision.

Hope this helps.
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

I'm getting a mortgage at the moment, I don't understand it, I think I just pay the interest and hope I win the lotto, but I don't really care that much, it's a lot less than rent.
Thank you for helping us out Don, I don't care what everyone was gazing me earlier, I think you're safe.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

I think you can't have profiles 'till a little while because people would sign up to put in a load of links to push up their websites or spam.
Don't worry about adding friends on here Don, the fact that this is the first anyone has mentioned it implies that nobody uses it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Thank you, very much.
I'll see how it pans out. It probably won't be an issue in the long run.

Once again, thanks for your help.
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

Didn't happen though, did it?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

No you may not.
It's bad form to tout your answers to the current QOTW on other boards.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 23:26, Reply)

Duly noted and edited.
Still trying to work out what the etiquette is around here.

My apologies.

P.S. I left some mortgage information further up for you. Take or leave it. Your choice. :O)
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 23:30, Reply)

Thanks, although I'm currently letting Facebook comments decide for me.
(pssst! Roota! This one smells like Edmund.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 23:37, Reply)

I sniffed that as well luv!
Glad it wasn't just me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 1:51, Reply)

Hello.
I'm ploughing through mortgage comparisons. I think I need a financial advisor. I have a highlighter pen and a calculator but my brain is melting.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)

What are you looking at as the most likely option?
Interest only for value, or repayment for stability?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Repayment.
Currently on a fixed 5.59% one with 3 years to run and a big penalty for redemption. Online calculators tell me that I should switch if I can find one less than 4.29%. I think I have but I'm fucking around with all sorts of arrangement fee and overpayment combinations. Christ, this is tedious. I'll just go and water my vegetable patch.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Keep it!
Or, if you can get a better overall deal, spread the word.

Your buyout costs will eclipse any slight reduction in interest.

You're unlikely to get better than 4.9% on any mortgage at the moment and you need a lot of collateral to get that.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)

My bank is offering me 3.9%
and a £900 product arrangement fee.

Edit: well, that's what they're online calculator said. In person they gave me a rough estimate of 4.24% but I didn't have all the figures then.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)

What term?
3.9% is good if it's fixed for, say 5 years.

If it's only 2 years look at the term afterwards.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)

3 years
Which is how long I have remaining on my current fixed deal.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Sums are required
I tend to be cautious with investments which is why my gut instinct is stick.

I think I'd be inclined to pin your bank to a written quote with a full understanding of what happens at the end of three years.

3.9% is probably a headline - in other words a potential best offer. Unless you have £20 notes falling out of your pockets it sounds remarkably good.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)

I don't understand mortgages.
My step-dad helped me with mine and luckily I got a flexible one just as the interest rate went right down. Luckycowlols.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)

I'm okay with the basics but unsure how to do the comparisons.
Like, do I compare my current one with 23 years remaining with a new one over 25 years, or should the new one be 23 years too, blah blah.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Get minicatfaceceilidhband to point at the screen with her dummy.
It's as good an option as pouring over the figures.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)

This fails. She doesn't have a dummy :(

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)

*sadface*
You're fucked then.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)

I'm thinking of just selling up and moving into the awesome tent.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)

That would be your best option.
Too late for a gypsy wedding though : (
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)

That's the trouble
They're not all the same, so it makes them too complicated to compare. And tehy try to dazzle you with MONEYSCIENCE!

I had an interest only, and before I sold the flat, I was tempted to switch to a repayment but keep the endowment. I see what you mean. It is confusing and boring.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)

I'm in the pub b3th
I just watched an episode of Eureka (the latest) on my phone. Ain't technology brillyunt?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)

It's like we're living in the future!
I've now finished BSG and Caprica. I'm thinking Eureka will be next. It looks pretty good.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)

I'm giving up TV and crocheting my way to happiness.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)

crochet a new TV

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Haha!
I might crochet a TV cover.

Oh God the woman on TV at them moment is totally smuggling peanuts.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)

At least I was
When a hot female co-worker who moved out of her parents a month ago to move in with her boyfriend phones at 9:15 on a Saturday night to see if I want to grab a drink - that's just boredom, right? Not troubles or owt.

I may have just legged it back home and showered and scented myself with manly unguents though. Just in case. Back off out now!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Go careful.
Even if she is after something naughty, you don't want to get involved.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)

you make an excellent point
given her boyfriend is a 6'4" competitive kickboxer.

I shall be a gentleman.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)

I dfidn't just mean that.
I meant the emotional fallout could be difficult. If she regretted doing anything with you, it would make work relations awkward.

Also, it's naughty.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:59, Reply)

dude.
Every hole's a goal. Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law and all that.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

Unless she lunges at me with tongue or clunge
I shan't do a thing, I'm far too autistic.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

Jeez that's low, LIC is like a dog on heat round other guys girlfriends!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Don't get me wrong here, I really don't mean anything by it, and to be honest, I would love to go to the pub and just watch films on my iPad if I wasn't so selfconcous.
but why not get a few beers in and watch it at home?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

I fancied a meal out
and the pub near me does nice food and has a range of ales. I mostly watched a show rather than read a book just as a technology thing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

I'm having a disco in my room.
Due to being blown out by a pain in the arse girl, tonight is going to be well boring. My groovetastic Youtube playlist is seeing me through the evening, fuck the tele.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

alright you quenders and sex pests?
I am watching Die Hard.

Not a pug in sight.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Welcome to the party pal!
Aw, man. I'd much prefer to be watching Die Hard than Who Wants To Rip Out Their Own Windpipe Out Of Boredom (with the added bonus of soapstars I've never seen before).
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)

I am toying with the idea of firing up my technics.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

I wish I had some technics.
But if I did I'd be sitting here wishing I had at least one vinyl record. I just have to go round my old man's and listen to all his stuff, I think he knows every disco and funk record released between 1970 and 1990. Found this over his place yesterday, mint: youtu.be/18i5ZOR6yTM
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

get some.
Panasonic have stopped making them now, but you can get SL1210s easily on eBay. Pioneer and Allen & Heath make the best mixers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Are they a piece of piss to use?
I might just steal all my dad's vinyl and get some.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

unless you're mixing jungle, yeah.
Just learn to slip cue and use the pitch. Decent heidphones are a must as well.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

JUNGLE IS MASSIVE!
Just thought I'd let you know.
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)

"Got any jungle in guy?"
No, but I do have this and it's making me smile: youtu.be/18i5ZOR6yTM
I'll stop with all the links now (I won't really).
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I know.
And I am by no means a massive junglist. But I have huge respect for jungle DJs, it is a nightmare to mix.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:23, Reply)

If indeed you have never seen them before.
Offer your missus a good seeing to instead.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

After 11 years of marriage I might tempt her better with the double-cheese and jalapeno doughballs I've just put in the oven
And, no, that's not a euphemism
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

I feel your pain.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)

Bless you Sybok
*re-engages geek-cloaking device*

*cough*..er.., man alive, how shit were Arsenal today?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

"Sybok is simply putting us in touch with our emotions"
shit film.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)

I am at a wedding
the dj is pants and everyone is coupled up bar me. I'm ready for my bed but I can't go yet, it'd be well rude.
(berk, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)

See if he'll play some Jesus and Mary Chain
Then dance on your own.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I love JAMC

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

The last serious woman in my life
Had a targa - top Fiat X1/9 with a CD system and was also a JAMC lover.

We rolled through Otley Marketplace one Saturday lunchtime with "April Skies" at full belt.

When we came back it was my choice - The The - Angel of Redemption.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:29, Reply)

JAMC were fucking sleazy.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:30, Reply)

The feedback under "Never Understand" is something else
Can't be arsed looking it up but didn't William Reid die recently?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:33, Reply)

not so far as I know.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:40, Reply)

Wikipedia says no too.
But in searching I found this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=noeTCf8PLuc
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:43, Reply)

I love the whole Motown/ feedback thing.
Glasvegas gave it a bash too but are very very patch. Also I adore Primal Scream.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:46, Reply)

With you on that.
Glasvegas started out well but have fallen off.

Primal Scream - the band that made Xterminator and now sound like a Status Quo tribute act....

Ever heard any Little Barry? Maybe a bit too guitar for you but he's superb.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:56, Reply)

The Scream are fucking superb live.
Vanishing Point is their best by far.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 23:08, Reply)

Yes - several times
Not the best but pretty damned good.

Edit - there's only you and me left, it appears.

I don't want to do this but I will.

Tomorrow morning I must get my black suit out and drive to Cumbria for the funeral.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu_qjcsF6Gs

This will be in my head.

Thanks all.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 23:15, Reply)

Feign a migraine or pretend to throw up.

( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

haha, it's more due to the fact
that i'm sharing a cab back to the hotel with a load of other people and I can't afford to spring for one on my own.
(berk, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Shag a bridesmaid/best man bloke in the bogs.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Are you trying to turn Berk from afar?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)

There's an uncomfortable degree of ambivalence in this comment

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)

Why ain't the tennis fella there?
I was just talking to my mate about all my years of not being coupled up and how I quite enjoyed the company of happy young attached folk and being the gooseberry/singleton of honour. Maybe I'm Jessica Fletcher.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 23:19, Reply)