Sorry to threadstomp.
Today is the closing date for Training Contract applications at a legal firm in York to which I have applied.

I have had one TC application turned down already, so fingers crossed I get to interview stage with this one.

What potentially life changing shizzle do you have in the pipeline?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:21, 94 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I have started budgeting for the first time in my life. Theoretically this should lead to me saving loads of moneys.
Otherwise, training stuff. Potentially looking into a career move.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:25, Reply)

I literally HAVE to start doing this.
It's my last chance to prevent my entire world from collapsing.

Woo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Try moneysavingexpert.com
they have a useful budgeting tool, it's a little pianful to fill in, but will show you where you can save

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:31, Reply)

I have a useful budgeting tool, too.
It's a calculator. I use it in conjunction with my bank statements. I feel very smug for having worked this out on my own.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Alright smart arse, but lets be honestl Monty needs all the help he can get

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:36, Reply)

When I was single
I opened a second current account, and transferred enough of my pay to cover the bills into it each month. The other account was then for food and day to day living costs, nights out etc, so I knew exactly how much disposable income I had each month. I still maintain this system now.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:43, Reply)

I'm basically doing this, but in reverse.
Budgeting to a set amount and transferring the rest out.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:45, Reply)

Sounds sensible.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:48, Reply)

That works fine
unless you have an unstoppable addiction to the most expensive illegal drug in the world.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Fortunately, I don't.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Phew.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:51, Reply)

I noes rite?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:52, Reply)

My IVA application involves a full budget.
Reading it makes me want to kill myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I can imagine
i should really budget better, but i like booze and eating out too much
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Same here, I calculated, with my calculator
that I pissed away nearly four hundred pounds a month of bits and pieces. Nothing stuff.

That's a fucking depressing realisation, right there.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:41, Reply)

leave your cards at home
only carry the amount of cash you can afford.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:42, Reply)

a budget is fuck all use if you have no self control
it becomes a tool by which you can quantify how miserably you are failing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:14, Reply)

looking for career move here as well
just struggling to write my CV in a non wanky fashion.

Good luck you plum
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Mate we need to make some plans for DA BA$$$$$$HHHHH
You are still coming, oui?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Will there be vol au vents?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Blousie promised to make cheese and pineapple.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:08, Reply)

, i +t
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Did you mean to make a
"are you still coming out?" gag? Because I don't think it's quite worked.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I was attempting to, yes
hard to strikethrough a comma though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:37, Reply)

You edit good.

( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:38, Reply)

i really didn't get it
i blame her breasts for putting undue pressure on her brain
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:37, Reply)

At what age does it become creepy to comment on a 21 year old's breasts?
I ask merely for information. Because Darth's, what, 40? He doesn't seem to have a problem with it. But I'm 31 and would feel dirty for doing so.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:39, Reply)

never stopped chompy before
of course, this may not make you feel aaaaaaaaany better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I'm 22, so add a year onto whatever it is

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:45, Reply)

This post amuses me because it looks like you're saying
"don't worry, I'm a year older than that, fill your boots."
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:46, Reply)

Nah just saying find the age
at which it's unacceptable and add one year onto that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:48, Reply)

i spoke to someone about a mortgage today
a proper building society person and everything and they even said I could have a mortgage and not "what! are you crazy, we're not letting your type have a house"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:40, Reply)

This happened to me, too.
I am starting to seriously worry that the world might see me as a proper adult if I'm not careful.
( Kroney, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:42, Reply)

How old are you (feel free not to answer this)?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:56, Reply)

35
i should be able to deal with this shit by now, I know, but I'm not really a grown up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:58, Reply)

I'm 38 in four weeks
and feel increasingly like a helpless child.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:00, Reply)

my job means I have to pretend to be a bit grown up
sometimes and I suspect this is all anyone does. Although arsing about at work has actually done well for me, too, strangely
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:02, Reply)

I'll be 37 is less than 4 weeks time.
Does that make you feel any brighter?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:15, Reply)

No. Thanks for trying though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:22, Reply)

I think you have to face up to facts, and admit you are a grown up now.
After all, you have a proper job and everything.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:05, Reply)

it's all a bit weird
and now I find myself making red onion chutney from onions I grew. Not only am I becoming a grown up, I'm middle class, too.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Probably job hunting.
I've reached the end of my self imposed 2 months off and not worrying about it, so I guess I'll have to start looking when the missus goes back next week.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Today someone showed the MD and some of the other teams work I've been doing over the last couple of days...
... and they're all like, "Oh man, this is awesome", even taking me to the side to tell me how they love what I've come up with.

The only thing that seriously sucks the big one is that I don't know how I'm going to get home today, my stomach is really playing up big-time, I might have to get a cab =( I've not once used a cab to get home from work due to stomach problems.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:03, Reply)

Unlucky man. That's not going to be cheap.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:05, Reply)

£31 =/
it's worth it though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:19, Reply)

OK, I've taken a fist full of pills, I think I can make it home in one piece... and if I can't, the closer I get to home the cheaper the taxi will be.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:39, Reply)

Could you not just get a rubber bung
and take the tube
(Bazongaloid, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Oh you missed a 'classic' day on here today Al.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:06, Reply)

I just read my thread about the tax dodging stinky pikeys who I've just read have lost their appeal.
What else happened?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Fucked if I know, I've just got here.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:12, Reply)

Hundreds upon hundreds of 'TV programme names with a lame food pun shoehorned in'
Less then ten were of any merit at all.

Guiltiest party: a Mr P. Chomp.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:12, Reply)

I almost smiled at 'Quornblower'

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:13, Reply)

'Houmous The Tank Engine' was good too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:16, Reply)

Fine don't mention any of mine.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:59, Reply)

it was worse than an invasion of sock puppets

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:12, Reply)

Sock puppets on OT?
Shirley not.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:13, Reply)

You know when you were a teenager
and you stay over at someone’s house and there are several of you sleeping in the same room and you have a running joke and eventually you all want to go to sleep but there’s one kid who won’t stop and cannot take a hint until everyone wants to die?

It was like that but without the teenagers or the sleep or the bit where at first it’s funny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:16, Reply)

that is exactly what it was like

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:17, Reply)

I've had a flick through some of the threads today and despite me liking a pun or two
I feel glad to have missed it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:10, Reply)

They can't crack 'em like you can, Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:16, Reply)

I've just been back to have a look.
Dear god the quality was a bit, erm, ITV.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:17, Reply)

What do you suggest I do on the afternoon of your mega bash to keep myself amused.
At the moment, sitting in the pub and reading the paper is winning. Anything worth going to see/do locally?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:18, Reply)

www.visitlondon.com/attractions/

You might be a bit pushed to find something as there's fuck all there, like.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:19, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:21, Reply)

I'm such a fucking wag, me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:22, Reply)

Ah NOAH!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:25, Reply)

Hang out with me if you like.
There'll be a little bit of soundchecky tedium but other than that we could go and look at something, ideally a Tayyabs menu or something like that. But I can also do cultural if you'd prefer?

If you'd rather do some solo sightseeing I can give you a list of non-bent options in the area.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:20, Reply)

Food and beer works for me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Oh man, if you're going to have a tayyabs in teh afternoon
I might come along. And then go home when all the attention seeking spastics come out in the evening.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:23, Reply)

Good move.
An Internet Hardnuts Convention in the mid-afternoon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Sounds favourite at the moment.
I've yet to sample the food from Tayyabs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Pfft I arrive in the morning

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:27, Reply)

I'm not getting on a train 'till midday.
Which reminds me, I've still not booked my hotel. I'll do that this evening.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:28, Reply)

I arrive about midday I think

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:30, Reply)

Pub is always worth a visit

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:22, Reply)

Arr. But then if there is talk of food as well....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:23, Reply)

Tayyabs is better than pub.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:24, Reply)

You can drink beer in Tayyabs, but you cannae eat Tayyabs in the pub.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:24, Reply)

I have to agree with this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Pubs in London have discovered something new, Jeff.
They're called menus and you can select a variety of consumable items from them, often at a fairly reasonable price. I don't think it'll catch on, personally.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:25, Reply)

I fancy trying Tayyabs.
Part of me hopes it'll be 'fucking shit' so I can mock Monty in the future, although I strongly suspect it'll be lovely.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:27, Reply)

I'm delighted to announce that I have been positively diagnosed with Haemochromatosis today
www.haemochromatosis.org.uk/index.html

Not cureable, but eminently containable.

Check the symptoms bit and if you're worried seek help because if you don't catch it quickly you're fucked.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:22, Reply)

Sorry to hear that.
I bet you're disappointed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:26, Reply)

Sorry.
On that note I'm Audi.

L80rZZZZ
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:27, Reply)

I said to the consultant "I'm disappointed"
He said - "You're my O/T hero."
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Did he then ask you how your hands were and if they needed any special attention TD?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:29, Reply)

Lost me on that one.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:31, Reply)

If it helps, I'm badly enimic, so if they were going to make a pate out of both our livers, it would taste just right.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:34, Reply)

Oh lol, if anyone else wrote that I'd reply "MEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEM MEEEEEEEE, god, can't let anyone else be ill without you mentioning some shit you've got".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:34, Reply)

The treatment in the short term
Is that I give a pint of extremely iron-rich blood every few weeks and I want to donate it, so hopefully aneamic people will benefit.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:37, Reply)

Black pudding?
I wish I was black so when a waitris asks me "Black pudding?" I'd reply "No, it's just a nickname".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:38, Reply)

It pretty much is apparently
I need to find an anaemic girl to swap fluids with.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:44, Reply)

illnesses are bad
but controllable is good
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Not a problem
And if it's the worst thing I ever cop for I'll take it.

No more red meat or Guinness for me though.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 18:56, Reply)