BEST THING ANOTHER HUMAN HAS EVER DONE FOR YOU?
alt: Plastic surgery - yay or nay?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:00, 118 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Put my wee wee stick in their mouth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Put his wee stick in my mouth.
Not yours obviously. That delight is yet to come.
( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

It just has done
*spurts*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I think it may be when you started this thread.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Alt: why not, if it's done well?
Have been to a few bashes I can tell you there's a big market for it out there.

Fucking uggo cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

go on then spill, which b3tan would you book in and for what?

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Al, for a mastectomy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

haha!
Moob reduction
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

All of them, for face, body and personality transplants.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Most of them for this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Some of Lab's charity work there
Donated 3 chins to that poor poor woman!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

chinlol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Is that Bill Hicks?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

She appears to be melting

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

The Danny Devito to her Arnie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I just nodded at the computer.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

You too?
I'm also quite unattractive.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Alt: I lived with a woman who
had her boobs done when we were together so I knew before and after. Fucking brilliant.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

POIDH

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Regrettably not.
The bandages and bruising were a bit ghastly for a few weeks but after that it was fun bags ahoy!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

It depends on the surgery
My daughter had an operation to straighten out her toes. Purely cosmetic but it will help her later on in life
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

could she hang from the rafters like a bat?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

now THAT could really help her later in life.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

She can now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

HMMM MAYBE I CAN WORK FOR HER! PLOTS BRUCES DOWNFALL.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Main: Too serious for here.
Alt: Fuck off, I'm gorgeous thank you very much.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I thought it was quite decent of LIC to share his strongbow with you after you sucked him off.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

You know, you're actually growing on me.
I like your puppy dog perseverence.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Like a cancerous troll

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

He seems to be obsessed with getting sucked off.
I wonder why.

*couldn't really give a monkey's*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Well, we do make jokes about our innermost desires apparently.
Isla Fisher, Kylie Minogue and The Red Headed Dancer from Strictly walked into a bar...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

*spluffs*
You were saying?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

On a purely materialistic basis, I've had many gig tickets bought for me, I always appreciate that.
On any other basis, there are many, but there is one that springs to mind.

It goes back to the time my sister was in hospital, quite unwell (shadow on an MRI, suspected brain tumour). I'd been bottling up how worried I was, until one friend asked how I was, and I just went to pieces. He gave me a hug, and took me for a pint. At that time, it was exactly what I needed, and it really sorted me out.

Alt: As long as the person doesn't gain a complex about it afterwards, yay.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I'd have plastic surgery like Lenny in The Simpsons does, where he has a permanent smile plastered on his face.
Like this: tinyurl.com/3zektbc
Then people would stop asking why I'm so miserable all the time.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

This is the worst day of my life

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Hahaha.
Old Simpsons are so bloody good. This is one of my favourite clips, it was months before I realised Snrub is Burns backwards; youtu.be/sGFwLHCTsfk
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Agreed
Some fucking brilliant jokes in the older ones
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Actually this one, although the title gives the game away just a little.
youtu.be/7fa7qTeCwZw
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Too many things to mention.
alt - well since I've already had some reconstructive surgery I guess I'd have to say "yes".
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Does everyone already know what that surgery was?
and that's why no one asked?
Or are you referring to your bear-beating penis?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

basically, yeah, because I post about it on here all the time
like a massive attention seeker.

it's come up a couple of times. maxiallal/dental reconstruction due to face/hockey stick interface.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Oh that...
*yawns* I think I remember you posting some pics
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

All the Macmillan Nurses
When my Dad was ill were legends.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I'm going to go with
Letting me have an extra hour's lie in followed by waking me up by reading poems about what a great dad I am. It may not have been the best objectively but it touched me.

Alt: nay, unless it's repairing damage so you still look human. Generally it make you look plastic and shit.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

My dad used to have a Ford Mustang in the 60s,
my brother's got a Prius and I used to have a skateboard.

I have a Mongoose in my hall, as Stunned poster can attest.

COME ON GUYS LET'S GET THIS CAR TALK BACK ON TRACK HERE ALREADY!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Saboteur! luckily I have my utility belt (3xl) too hand!

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Mongoose
Fucking cool bike.

The stabilisers makes yours look shit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:23, Reply)

The stabilisers aren't so bad
its the little pink basket that makes it look stupid
( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Fuck off, that was my dad's.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Talking of tracks*
*Tenuous link here
I looked up that Baby Huey cover you mentioned yesterday and, as you are no doubt aware, it is indeed v good.
He doesn't look much like a baby, mind.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

He was amazing.
One of the unsung dead musicians of the 60s.

Perhaps because he died from being a fat cunt rather than MDs. You can get his entire output on a single LP - it's fucking excellent from start to finish, he was a superb vocalist.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Google says the reissue is affordable
So I might just do that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Money well spent.
You'll only skip through a couple of them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

how old is the mongoose?
and do you actually know how to ride flatland?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I should also have said: Cool bike bro.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I found it in an empty flat.
It looks ancient.

I plan to paint out the 'oose' when I get a moment, for DA LOLZZZZ.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

My mum paid my credit card bill so I could get a mortgage
Alt. Plastic surgery I'm in two minds on. having your ugliness changed so you feel better and are happier then why not. If you are having it when you already look good and think puffed up lips will make you look better then you are retarded. Gemma Massey is a prime example, she was gorgeous until she plumped her lips up. Oh and Bolt on tits are shit.
( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Agreed on Gemma Massey
She just looks a mess now. Half woman half fish.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I think she looks hot.
I've done worse.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

You're on here
you've probably done worse than Susan Boyle. No offence, like.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

None taken.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

A lady let me stick my winkle up her foo-foo
alt: nay. I had a go on some fake breasts last year, unimpressed, i like real breasts.
( broadsword, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Me too
in fact my preference is for smaller breasts anyway, give me a nice pert, firm pair over a big squishy pair that drop several inches when they take their bra off any day! Bolt ons are shit, they look fake and feel fake.
( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I find my attitude towards breast size alters depending on the amount of sex I'm getting
Sex = small, no sex = big
so at the moment I'm attracted to fucking enormous ones :/
( broadsword, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

So basically if you're getting tonnes of sex your ideal partner would be a young boy
Well well, I learn something new everyday!
( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

A woman for duty, a boy for pleasure
and a melon for ecstasy
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Sounds like a fair swap
*buys melon*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I wish my wife her the attitude of Jerry Hall
“My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit”
( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

That sounds like a good plan.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Is there anyone that likes the big squishy sort that drop several inches?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Yup, the father of my niece is in to exactly that.

( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

woo hoo.
Is he a looker?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

HE'S A RANGA!!!!

( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

ah well.
Back to the hunt, then...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

WOAH WOAH WOAH HE'S A RANGA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Unfortunately so is my neice
I offered a sack and bricks but they didn't take me up on it.
( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Squishy boobs are great

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

: )))))

( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

see when I said this I had blousie all up in my grill calling me wierd.
*PERT SMALL TITTIES FIVE*
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Screw Blousie! She fancies Jeff and he doesn't have any titties!

( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I would have a tummy tuck. a boob reduction and lift and a mini face lift.
It wouldn't make me any luckier in love but at least I can wear what I want then.
( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I would have those things too.
*old lady high fives*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I would have plastic surgery to make me look EXACTLY like Jeff Bridges
Then pay a voice coach to make me sound EXACTLY like Jeff Bridges. then I would come over to your house and say "Blouise, I read on THE INTERNET that you have a bit of a crush on me, well I'm sorry I'm really not in to girls who have had tummy tucks, breast reductions and mini face lifts" I would then turn and leave.
( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Haha!
I wouldn't care because I would be able to tuck my t-shirts into my jeans.
( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

INSTEAD OF YOUR TITS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

*runs like hell*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I like this!

( Peej, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

potd

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Shame he's no longer here to collect his award.
RIP Monty
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:38, Reply)

: ((((((((

( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

lololol
( broadsword, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

et tu brute?

( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Nevermind love. Take solace in the fact that here on the internet all tits are good tits.
*panders*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I've never had any complaints tbh.

( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

WUV WOO WEALLY XXXXXX

( broadsword, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:18, Reply)

So this comedy account of yours Bobby, you seem to have left the comedy out.
Any particular reason?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Too much of a good thing and what not old sport.
With you here here is no room for any other LOLZ.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I have no idea what the nicest thing is
could be my mate getting me a box set of every Zeppelin album for my 21st.

alt: definitely for it. What are you having done?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

*points out that my "boring" thread got more replies than Bobbie's "interesting" one*
*smugs*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Innit!

( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:26, Reply)

pipe down granny tits

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

minus the ones slagging it off I reckon I win. Go on be a real geek and work it out.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Can't be bothered.
I would argue that there is something to be said for threads that piss people off, as they provoke discussion, as opposed to dull ones, but I do agree my thread was shit.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:31, Reply)

they're all shit mate...

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

where as you're are works of fucking genius...

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)

nice english...
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Nice haircut....

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)

your mum likes my hair and beard.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Probably grateful for anything she can get these days
as, I am sure, are you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)

the money does help... kinky bitch and her extras
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Well, she always did have a charitable disposition....

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

and a gaping anus
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

it's normal sized Bobby
The reason your cock does not touch the sides is that it's withered and tiny.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

I was using a fist
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

VICTORIOUS

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:40, Reply)