Good morning everyone :)
I got the job and will be handing in my notice letter today. This is exciting.

Anything lined up for you lovely lot?
( Bats, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 7:20, 158 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm going to dig holes in Hackney
but I can't be bothered to leave the office until about 9am.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 7:44, Reply)

Mo(le)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Get over this hangover, that's about it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 7:49, Reply)

Are you going to eat croissants and drink juice?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 7:50, Reply)

Nope
Marmite on toast, can of Diet Coke, and I'm sorted.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:35, Reply)

A woman just came out of an office round the corner while I was in the kitchen
I don't know what language she was talking, but she sounded just like Famke Jansenns character in Goldeneye. Whatever eastern european or russion language she was talking is a very sexy language.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:06, Reply)

I have a day of rocking this allergy induced pout.
And probably a bit of work.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:23, Reply)

Did a bee sting your lips?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:37, Reply)

Xenia, oof.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:36, Reply)

I start my new job on Monday
and will be mostly spending today on the phone to natwest to see how they have levied an unarranged overdraft charge on an account I haven't used since 2009, and to the finance department of the place I currently work to see why the holiday pay that I chose to cash in rather than take has been taxed at 50%. I am not a very happy bunny this morning.
(berk, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:24, Reply)

Whats the difference betweeen cashing in holiday pay and taking it?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Taking holiday pay instead of taking time off.

( Bats, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:38, Reply)

this
I had four days of holiday left and took the money for it rather than the time off. Except that if I'd taken the time off I'd have had considerably less tax chewed out of it. I'm so incredibly fucked off - I'd worked out that the money would cover two flights to amsterdam for tennis boys christmas present, and the money i've got left barely covers one.
(berk, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:51, Reply)

I've 'overbooked' my holiday by 20 hours
and given I only do 23 hours a week, I have lost about a quarter of my (already rubbish) monthly pay packet. I kind of wish they had told me 'Right, any holiday taken from now on is borrowed until the new year', but I guess it was my responsibility to find that out.

Fucking supermarkets. It's going to be a long two weeks before I leave.

I hope your overdraft thingy gets sorted - the OH has recently had money taken from an unused account by Talktalk. We've not had an account with talktalk - only Tiscali. Not sure how that's happened, but it's a right pain.
( Bats, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:37, Reply)

They've been a right bastard about that to loads of people.
It's been on Watchdog more than once now.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

the thing is, the overdraft fee has taken me over my overdraft..
so I will have yet another charge levied in a few weeks time. I'm going to pop in to the bank this morning and go quietly mental at someone.
(berk, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Don't take any shite from them
They will try to palm you off with some lies about the charges being automatically applied and out of their hands. But there will definitely be someone in the branch who has the suthority to "use their discretion" with removing charges.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

It's odd, I've managed to charm my way to having charges removed before, simply by being polite
Yet I know of many others who are met with steadfast resistance, no matter what they do.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:59, Reply)

This^
Be nice first. I got £75 charge removed for a late mortgage payment and the associated £75 DD bounce charge removed when work's payments got fucked up into our account
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I've read most of the old QOTWs now...
Give dchurch a shout, he should be able to provide some good advice.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:00, Reply)

it is clearly their error
and i'm not fucking having it. I am not leaving the branch until both charges have been refunded.
(berk, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)

GO BERK!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Avoiding repeatedly punching my mother-in-law in the face by going to work

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Congrats on the new job, although I must admit I've no idea what it is
To answer your question, not really. Strictly Come Dancing starts this weekend. That's about it.

I'm going to need an Alt please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:40, Reply)

alt throbbing penis up my arse
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Throbbing is optional
I'm not fussy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Darth, a "job" is a thing that grown up people do to make money.
You are extra thick this morning.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Curing a hangover.
I feel rough as a badger's arsehole.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Marmite on toast and a can of diet coke, STAT!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Gregg's steak bake and a bottle of coke.
And industrial-grade cocodamol.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I don't tend to do anything but paracetamol on hangovers
The best thing to get from Greggs is the sausage & bean melt. So wrong, but oh so right.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

A hangover cure that works, I find

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Yeah
The steak bake is stodgy as anything but absorbs all the leftover crap in my stomach, settling it a treat.

The only embarrassing thing for me last night was chundering like a bitch. Fucking coughing fit set me off into having a lumpy yawn.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Oh dear
What was the occasion then?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)

It was supposed to be a couple of quiet drinks with a mate.
It was more than a couple of drinks. Way more. Oops.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Same here
Had several pints of Stella, oops!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Kronenbourg 1664
Won't be drinking that for a while.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I wouldn't anyway
It's very rare to have a decent pint of it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:11, Reply)

We appear blessed in Newcastle then
Many good pints of 1664
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Well it is brewed by Scottish & Newcastle...
But seriously... good pints of 1664? Or indeed any lager?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Yep
My local(s) both have brilliant Peroni on tap
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Peroni can be absolutely excellent
The pub I was in last night serves it, but I know their pints are poor.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)

What is brilliant about it?
Does some decent beer come out of the tap?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)

A good pint of Peroni is fantastic.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

fantastic unlikely
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I know of 3 places in Macc that serve Peroni on tap
2 of them are excellent pints.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Are you riding the cotton pony today, tangles?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I just think that most lager is pish

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)

More for me then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Indeed
one correction though I just think that most
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:25, Reply)

What is this?
Northerners United?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Who are you calling a northerner?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Not many people living in England live further south than Cornwall
and we don't talk about those types
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Lager is for poofs and sissys
I drank 6 bottles of Old Peculiar and a bottle of red wine and I got up at 2.30 to feed my daughter and then 6.30 to cycle 11 miles to work in thick fog and I feel fine you utter utter pansies.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Are you working 25 hours a day, 8 days a week down't pit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Aye
and I ave't live in a hole in't ground
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Bloody luxury

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)

That's some good drinking
I love Old Peculier, but I don't think I could drink 6 bottles. And wine?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)

People's reactions to alcohol are relative to the person in question.
So please, feel free to cycle on into the fog.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Of course they are relative to the person in question
if they drink pansy juice
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:20, Reply)

They're not as rough as you might think
Poor things get a bad press.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I too am writing a letter of resignation.
I am rubbish at this sort of thing.
( wanderlust, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Moving jobs again?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Dumping Monty.
He likes things all legal like.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

That'll make Gonzo's day...

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

YES !!!!!!!

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Yups,
Looks like I've been head hunted again.
Things haven't been going too well at the place I am now and I sick of working constantly, not seeing Monty or any of my friends and not getting paid on time.

Someone's offered me a slightly sideways move but with much more potential to move up within the company. I had a trial shift last night and the director of the company had nothing but praise for me, which was nice.
( wanderlust, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Ahh, that's excellent to hear!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Thanks.
They were very honest with me too about how things work and the chances I could have. It made a nice change from being offered the world and ending up with Milton Keynes.
( wanderlust, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Good good, I'm really glad to hear it
Sadly, I'm in a company where I can't really progress, but currently, I don't mind.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

You are doing the right thing. For so many different reasons.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:12, Reply)

When I've settled in you and Monts should come in for dinner.
But only if you sit outside and don't make eye contact with me.
( wanderlust, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Or eat, or breathe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Done.
Will you rub my tummy when I have finished eating? Like last time.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:15, Reply)

And will you tuck him in with a bed time story?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Yes.

( wanderlust, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Sweet!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)

You are coming on Saturday right?!

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Not for lunch as I have to work.
But I'll be out by about 8pm.
( wanderlust, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)

WHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I'm gonna touch you up so bad when El Boyce isn't looking.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Excellent.
He'll have his hands busy with records for most of the evening anyway.
( wanderlust, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I thought you'd not long started at some snazzy new place?

(berk, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Have you been successfully poached by your mate then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:55, Reply)

Remember to pepper your missive with expletives -
and make sure you call your boss a 'gaylord' at least once.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Really she should just get you to write it for her.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Mein Kampf does not easily translate to a resignation letter

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I'm good at writing letters and available to help.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Standard letter innit.
Thank the staff and directors blah. Consider this letter commencement of my notice blah. Enjoyed working here.

Done.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

You dont even have to say that
I wish to resign my post, effective xx/xx
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Needs MOAR vitriol

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Thank them?
fuck that, they should be thanking you.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:24, Reply)

You don't have to mean it. You just SAY it.
Because you are a professional and not a 10 year old.

And you are better than them.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Wise words you fucking cunt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I shall be mostly wasting time on here when I really should be working.
And this evening I shall be attending the launch of an art installation wot my friend has done.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Your friend Vulva?

(McChinaman banned, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I don't get it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:17, Reply)

A rather hurried car MOT which I remembered about last night and was due today
Why can they send out tax disc reminders (not that it matter to swipe) but not MOT reminders?

Two yoghurts and some coffee will start the day after my walk to work after dropping said car in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

In other tedious news, 6 months of hard work finishes either today or tomorrow
meaning our customers should end up with a much better system. I am slightly more proud of this than I should be
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I wish I was your customer.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

If you require the leading independant housing software companies latest service pack installing
then I am your cow
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Spelling not one of your core values then?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)

independany grenade

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:27, Reply)

*whistles*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I wrote a spectacular notice letter when I left my last job
but when I showed it to a colleague he pointed out that I shouldn't burn my bridges and reminded me that I still had to work my months notice. Now I have been securely in my new job I wish I had sent it. I can't remember the whole letter but words like embezzlement, corruption, bullying and Fatty Arbuckle were used.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

It's never worth it. You end up looking like a bitter twat.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Agreed
Which is why mine read dear sir blah blah thanks for the last 3 years mnay fond memories etc
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I like the fact the directly below fond memories is AMNESIA

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)

You threatened to shove a champagne bottle up their cunt?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)

he was a cunt
but I don't think he had one of his own but if he did and I did shove a champagne bottle up it it certainly wouldn't have been neck end first.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Just because I am a pathetic individual
and a massive geek about comedy, I feel compelled to point out that Fatty Arbuckle never did this.

It's OK to hate me, I'm used to it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)

The actually usage was
You're like Fatty Arbuckle without the comedy genius. I had just watched a rather good off Broadway production of Mack and Mabel and his name was in my head.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Ha.
That is a perfectly acceptable usage of his name.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)

That is fine
but I find it more entertaining to believe that he did.
(I am going to read up on it though)
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Mick Jagger didn't eat a Mars bar out of that bints twat either
it was a Marathon.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I've just had a quick read up on it
Fucking hell, there were some bastards involved in those trials.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:49, Reply)

yup

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

The woman who claimed to be a witness, and the prosecuter especially so.
Plus the female juror in the first trial, I hope her minge fell out.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I forget their names,
but yes, the female witness extortioner.

Which apparently doesn't mean she could cross her ankles behind her neck as I first thought.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)

He didn't do anything
except have the misfortune to have a woman die in a hotel room in his vicinity. Assuming I'm thinking of the right person.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Hmmm sounds guilty to me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

he was a lolfatty.
so he was definintely guilty of inhalation of class A pies.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Being fat is a crime, isn't it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)

depends.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:14, Reply)

on?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)

She didn't even die there
she was found ill and died 2 days later
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I'm going to be doing my second lot of photographing for my job
Only product shots, but it's a string to my bow that I've been wanting to build on for some time. Looks pretty decent on the CV too. Shame the pictures are of giant dildos, or I'd be able to build a portfolio.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Pictures of Monty?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Nope, he's a genuine cock.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Noel's stock

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I was thinking of doing a porno of jermey kyle, where instead of jermy kyle, it's got me or ron jermy...
... and instead of a drugs test, they have a blowjob test, to see who's best at that. And instead of a lie detector test, they see what verious objects they can shove up their bums. And instead of a DNA test, they have a handjob test.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Oh lordy, I got to move to an ex council estate, look at 'em, they're all at it !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:46, Reply)

ITV would commission this.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)

ITV? Per-lease, allow me at least a _little_ bit of self respect.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Respect?
Your pitch is hardly Panorama-esque.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Oh, I dunno, the level panorama's slipped to these days...

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I suspect "The Gonz Show"
may be better suited to one of Richard Desmond's TV channels.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

It's still better than the TV channel that commisioned "The Ex Husband of The Ex Wife of Somone Who Played Football: THE NEXT CHAPTER".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Wasn't that on ITV2?
You should see Stewart Lee's description of E4 as I think it applies here.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Same people though, innit?
What was it? Link me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DkgAMTRBaU

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)

He's playing a big tour in london soon,
I might get tickets.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I saw him about 6 months ago. He was great.
Southend Pavilion. Quality.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

He played in Southend?
presumably by 'Southend Pavillion' you mean The Clifs Pavillion?

How did I miss this, I get their quarterly mailout and still didn't realise.

I think he's doing a residency at The Leicester Square Theatre starting next month, so I'll probably try for that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Yes, The Cliffs.
All the London dates were sold out so I went on his website and saw he was playing Southend.

Made a weekend of it. It was a laugh.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I haven't been to the Cliffs on purpose for years.
I went by accident last spring when the missus wanted to see some stars in their eyes type Karen Carpenter, but we were actually supposed to be at The Palace in Westcliff.

What else did you find to do for a weekend in Southend? If it wasn't for the football I'd find it hard to fill a Saturday afternoon there I think.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Suicide?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)

It's a faultless plot, for certain.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:50, Reply)

a room full of hungover second years, I expect
just desperate to learn about non-ideal gas behaviour.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Make fart jokes.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

they might only be 18
but I suspect they've got a more developed sense of humour than that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

they're just going to be whispering the jokes anyway

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Badger, you know that scene where Scroodge is being bulled by all the muppets on his way into work...
... "When a cold blows and chills you, chills you to the bone. And there is nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone. It paints you with indifference like a lady paints with rouge, and the worst of the worst, and the most hated and curse, is the one that they call scrooge".

Well, I was thinking, if every time I walked to work, minding my own buisnes, loads of muppets were singing about me... I'd fucking love that, I wouldn't be grumpy anymore. Even if they _are_ bullying me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

How many tits do siamese twins with two heads and 1 set of legs have?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Only two
I assume you mean the american girls? I think they're ace.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Double blow job, happy days

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)