WTF?
My Gf has just got in a right strop with me saying I'm a "ponce" and gay cos I decided wanted 2 glasses of red wine after work this evening! Apparently you can only drink wine if you're middle aged or gay. And cos I'm only 21 and not gay (though maybe the girlfriend is just a front and I'm in denial?? I mean, I drink wine, I must be according to her rules) she's got really pissed off with me. Just wanted a rant, feel free to agree with her, any chance call someone gay on here isn't usually passed up
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 1:55, 125 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Tell her that if she thinks wine is for the 'middle aged or gay'
Then she's a fucking mentally insufficient idiot.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 2:07, Reply)

She is a bit stupid sometimes
She got annoyed cos I was being realistic about money as well.
Insisting we save up for a holiday to America. I run out of money mid month without fail and whenever she puts money in a savings account she just has to transfer it back again. So where she thinks we'll get a grand each from is anyones guess. I'll start shitting money shall I??
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 2:54, Reply)

Well, I'm rather drunk
So any other response to that wouldn't be sensible, aside from this - are you coming to the Northern Bash?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 3:17, Reply)

Nah
She keeps me on a short leash and meeting people off t'internet wouldn't go down well. Cheers for the invite though :)
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 4:29, Reply)

Pfft, gay.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 5:45, Reply)

beer before wine makes you feel fine, wine before beer makes you feel queer
wine before wine makes you a screaming chutney ferret.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 2:30, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 2:47, Reply)

Bahaha!
It's ok, I drinking my wine and playing football manager whilst she's asleep. Peace at last :D
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 2:56, Reply)

Man up, you middle-aged gay ponce.
And booze up on gin. Gin makes a man MEAN.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 5 Oct 2011, 2:43, Reply)

Your girlfriend is a vapid whore
and deserves to get AIDS.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 7:45, Reply)

Yeah she is
GIVE HER AIDS
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:13, Reply)

+ a kick in the cod mitten.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:17, Reply)

Haha
What a shit girlfriend. She calls you gay and middle aged for drinking wine and keeps you on a short leash?

What's in all this for you, aside from low grade mental abuse, exactly?
( Kroney, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 7:59, Reply)

I am guessing TEH SEXEH

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:23, Reply)

M. T. F. U.
and in the words of Dan Savage* DTMFA

*http://www.avclub.com/features/savage-love/ (NSFW)
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:05, Reply)

I love a glass of red wine
I'm 33 and you know what everyone thinks of me. Draw your own conclusions.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:12, Reply)

Hey now, I like red wine too
Red wine doesn't make you gay. You just happen to like drinking wine whilst being a gaymo bum doctor. Don't blame it on the wine, chief.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:14, Reply)

OK then, explain this
The other night I had a bottle of red wine and a Phaal, and woke up with a sore arse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:17, Reply)

That'll be the rugby team you were "entertaining" afterwards

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

When I first came to Spain and I saw people party
I told to myself, WTF?

Hate that song. Now it's in my head.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:28, Reply)

I don't know the song you mean
Consequently this post makes you look like an illiterate cocksnot
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Those are the lyrics, sadly
some sort of euro-dance.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:31, Reply)

I shall endeavour to avoid at all costs
Thank you for the advice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:45, Reply)

please don't tell me you're go to that sort of silly nonsense.

(berk, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Someone's posting from a phone...

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Of course I'm not into it, how rude.
I have the radio on in the car a lot.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

La gente esta muy loka
Thanks. Now it's in mine too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

A textbook case of being Pussywhipped
Opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one. Tell her that her's stink and she should keep it to herself.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:34, Reply)

HURRRRRRRR.........HMMMMMMMM......GRRRRRRRRRRRRR............ AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:38, Reply)

*Bites down on shirt and tries really really hard*
HURRRRRRRRR....HMMMMMMM.......GHHHHHHHHHHH
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:39, Reply)

*Gives up and leaves the loo without touching the toilet paper*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:39, Reply)

It's no good, I just simply can't give a shit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Cup of coffee and a fag

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Say that the only reason you're drinking is that she's driven you to it
and then tell her not to be such a fucking child.
(berk, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:44, Reply)

^This
Regardless of my facetious response above, that is just about the worst reason to get in a strop with someone I've ever heard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:46, Reply)

She's just annoyed that her boyfriend is gay

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:47, Reply)

So wethamman and swipey are an item?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Christ, imagine that
She'd eat him alive

EDIT: no she wouldn't, she's vegetarian. I assume this applies to wet meat too.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I'm sure swipe has stated on a number of occasions
that cock is the only meat she'll eat.
(berk, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Well that doesn't sound like her
She's such a shrinking violet when it comes to discussing sex
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I'm not going near that concept at this time of morning.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

For the second morning in a row, my ipod alarm didn't go off.
It's a good job I don't have a job to get up for.

If it helps, I'm swiftly approaching middle age and I hate wine.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

You hate wine? Bender
Morning darling. I forgot to ask how the PIERBASH went
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Still reading this as PIE-BASH

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Perhaps you should have the next one in Wigan.
Then it would be.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

/talk have pie bashes every year, true story.
I'm indifferent to pies though, don't see why people go mad over them, especially pies from places like Greggs. It's just a substandard gloopy stew covered with a bit of pastry.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I'm not a big fan of pastry either gonz.
Overrated.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Do you like cheesecake or sponge? I sometimes have them instead of pastry.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Sponge is ok. Cheesecake is meh.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I like cheesecake.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Not a fan of the baked cheesecake

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Most places seem to do that now
Haven't seen regular cheesecake on a menu for a while.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

It doesn't taste as nommy to me
Desserts should be slightly sickly, meaning you don't want any more food. Baked cheesecake feels a bit "pie" like to me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I'm just greatfull for cheesecake full-stop.
Banoffee is my fave though
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Pot, kettle.
Pierbash was rather ace, thank you. You should totally have been there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Quite the trek sadly
Glad you enjoyed it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Do you like Ribeena or the purple coloured Robbinsons ? I sometimes have them instead of wine.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Ribena's alright, I suppose. I'm not a big fan of squash, tbh.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

What do you like to drink with your evening meal?
Do you like Root Beer ? I like root beer..
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Root Beer is fantastic
and I am eternally grateful to Cyber Candy for being a reliable source.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

They sale a really good one at ASDA ^^

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

The same as I drink the rest of the time.
Diet Pepsi or water.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Won't someone think of the alcohol?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

lol

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

My back is still foooked
I am going to Sainsburys for wine and I now have the requisite & Tonic to mix me some gin
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I'm not very good at alcohol.
I tend to get very silly and giggly, then fall over. It also gives me shelf life of about an hour. Not great if there's a full evening planned.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I like this
I want to see a drunken b3th
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Apparently
Drunken b3th is very funny. I've never seen her, so I can't comment.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

*youtubes*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

I like that Pepsi Max one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Too sweet.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

In short.
You're not a ponce, your girlfriend is a stupid cow and needs a good minge-hoofing.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Wet ham the fuck up.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

this forum is as dead as your relationship
I'm off, laters
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Make her drink a bottle all to herself
A bottle and a half if she's a hefty heifer. Then ask her the next morning if she still thinks it's a gay drink.

/may have drunk too much wine last night
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

haha!
...then fuck her up the arse to prove it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Well she's still in a grump over something. I don't think it's about me drinking wine. Moody bitch.
But she has had to go to work and I get to stay in bed today, so fuck her XD
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Why are you sleeping with her memory card?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Say what?? :s

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

God even I got that joke.

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

"joke" you mean

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

we get wine delivered to our house
it's fucking awesome. And not gay.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I hit up the Tescos Wine Club from time to time
When they have good offers on. Nice living in a building with a front desk so it doesn't get left outside in all weather.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

WINE is full of justice and rightness.
I have only recently discovered this but it gets you right shitfaced and you can down it without all the OMGBURPING that comes with beers.

Get pissed and smack the bitch upside the head, see how fucking gay she finds that.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Do you have your coat back?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Ha ha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

And if I only drink a bottle, the mild hangovers I get make my brain numb which is nice.

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

One bottle of red is fine for me
Gets me chilled and no hangover at all - I like this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I only drink very light bodied red wine at home.
Very drinkable and tasty.
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

It always seems to be Merlot or Shiraz for me
or a Cabernet Sauvignon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

you're all a bunch of sauvignon quaffing, croissant munching fruits

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

What what?
*drops monocle*

I say old bean, pipe down a bit. TMS is on R4
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Now I want croissants

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

So what have we concluded?
Wine is definately not gay. My gf is an idiot. I should have told her she's an idiot and to shut up. However, if I'd done the last one she would have gone in some kind of super huff with me and had an attitude with me that could last days and I'd rather do anything for a quite life
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Gay

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

As someone who is married to a sulker
I can only recommend leaving her to it and getting on with your own stuff. They fucking hate that, and it tends to shorten any sulk.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

This^
With big shiny bells on. Ignore the sulk and carry on as normal. Gets right on their tits too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I think she's sulking about multiple stupid things
So yea, I'm leaving her too it. I used to try and get her out of her sulks but I found it too much hard work and infuriating.
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Punch her in the cunt
She will be in too much pain to sulk. Problem solved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

I used to get upset
Then I thought, 'fuck it, it's his huff. Let him enjoy it.'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Shit in her underwear drawer
She'll see the funny side, honest.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Best suggestion so far

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Your homelife is shit.
You'll put up with a fat annoying spastic so you'll get a ride every lunar month.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

She was probably just starting a fight to see if you'd stand up to her
If you'd shown a glimmer of fire, of passion, she wouldn't right now be bent over the boss's desk getting her back doors smashed in.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Now that DOES sound gay.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Get a fucking new one.
Jesus.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

If drinking red wine makes you gay
I'm Liberace
( Peej, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

I still have that song in my head.

( Kroney, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I just can't get you outta mah head

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

All day and all night

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Girl, I want to be with you all of the time
....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

SO HAVE I, YOU BASTARD!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

sometimes I like a new thread in the mornings, sometimes I don't
it's just one of those things I suppose, each to their own and that
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Start one then
Don't complain about it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I wasn't complaining, don't get yourself worked up

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Morning Herbert Chapman.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

good morning scarpe
how's your hood?
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

It drips rain down my neck.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

sad times
duffel coat?
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

el
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I'm not worked up
Too fucking tired for that! Just this one appears to have run its course
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

no need to shout, sunshine
and if you don't like it don't start complaining, you know, do something about it
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Yea, it's not like this was even a real thread
I just wanted someone to moan to but no ones up at 1am on a Wednesday morning to I moaned to the internet
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

you did your best, that's all that you can do
your the champ, the lead runner of your pack, that's all I know
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)