Fucks sake
I've left my fucking wallet at home. I was considering buying the complete Arrested Development on the way home as well. And it's bacon & egg sarnie Friday.

Imagine how much frivolous spending I could avoid if I did that every day. Tell me your tales of gross stupidity, and share your tips for fiscal self-governance.

Alt: Lapdances. Always better if the stripper is crying?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:00, 159 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I avoid day to day frivolous spending
by rarely having any cash on me.
Unfortunately I rarely have any cash on me because I am usually bloody skint.
(berk, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:16, Reply)

Yeah, me too
I say we kidnap Al and sell him on the black market, a pound of flesh at a time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:19, Reply)

We'll be rich!!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:42, Reply)

*does the math*
A pound of flesh... at a penny a pop... split three ways...

*buys Manchester United*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

bad luck.
Alt- immeasurably.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:17, Reply)

I used to spend far too much money on cars. I would weep if I calculated how much. Now I just hire one when I need it.
Alt: i think you probably frequent a totally different type of club to me so I wouldn't know if blokes crying are better than just blokes oiling themselves up and rubbing their crotch in to your face.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:26, Reply)

It's all lubrication innit

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I've paid more in my life to make strippers go away
then I've ever paid for them to strip for me. I think I might be doing it wrong.

I stupidly spent 7 hours of the last 36 on shitty trains and slept in a stupid position in the hotel on weds night and now my back is utterly ronnied. And I've got three flights on sunday, yay. great.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Fuck you!
I have the monopoly on bad backs!

This is being posted from the chiropractic waiting room
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Well, if you went to an actual medical professional
rather than a woo-merchant, maybe it might get better, eh?

I are very sorry for your lots. Backs are not fun.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Docs yesterday, chiro today
A lot better now, but still fucked
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Like a total Benny I've managed to remember my breakfast smoothie
But left my carefully prepared lunch in the fridge. This means frivolous spending at lunchtime for this cow
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:40, Reply)

please tell me a breakfast smoothie contains bacon and eggs.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:48, Reply)

STOP TALKING ABOUT BACON AND EGGS
*eyes apple sadly*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I might have something like this in a bit

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Yep, with a cup of coffee and some toast, all blended up

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

This morning I bought two CDs from Asda.
Ian Dury for me and DJ Example for my nephew.

This is how I saved money.

*pats back pocket*
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

DJ Example.
This is what's wrong with kids today. DJ Example is a fucking shit name. You should have a proper name like Terminator X, or Jam Master Jay, or DJ E Z Rok.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

DJ Fuckturnip.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Al is right
DJ Example is not only a shit name, it sounds like he's trying to piggyback Example's success
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Someone should make an example of him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I actually assumed they were one and the same.
Example is a fucking shit name, especially if you are just a solo artist. At least DJ Example gives an indication as to what you might do.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I thought he was DJ Example.

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I really think you are asking the wrong person here BeeGers
The last album I bought was by Mastodon, and the next one I'm going to buy is by The Asnwer. And I'm in the process of downloading the best of Thunder and Magnum.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Their Finest Hour... And A Bit
I used to love a bit of Thunder
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Won't Magnum melt during the download?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Except for the moustache

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

That is indestructable

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

It's made of AdamAntium
It stands and delivers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Example's name is taken from his initials - E.G.
As far as I know he's not a DJ
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Then he's a pretentious cunt
with a fucking shit name.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

He can't be pretentious, he's from Fulham
You don't get pretentious people from Fulham
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

you saved money by putting it in your bumhole?
Good skills, bgb. Good skills.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

It means she has to search around town to find a shop that will actually take her coinage.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Safest place for it.

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Example is so deep
'If we don't kill ourselves, we'll be the leaders of a messed up generation' - no you won't you self aware prick
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

My nephew is 10, cut him some slack will ya.

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Soz, BGB nephew

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I thought it was "kid ourselves"
and assumed it was just meaningless bollocks. If it is indeed "kill ourselves" it's still meaningless bollocks.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Either way, he thinks his generation are all messed up 'Skins' type mentalists
which is patently untrue, but they want to feel that way
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Better if they are crying from their cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:00, Reply)

In terms of frivilous spending, you know that feeling when you see your bank balance, and your stomach drops out?
Yeah, that.

I'm a fucking idiot.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

True
and true

what have you spent it all on; let me guess, black pudding, coal, comedy t-shirts and alarm clocks
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

None of the above.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

munchy boxes, std tests, pro biotic yoghurt, WoW upgrades and cheese

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

The yoghurt is to deal with the cheesy areas.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Cheese, yes.
The rest, no.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Womens underware, bad haircuts, a neck brace and some love hearts for the postman

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Nope, nope and nope

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

24 carat hookers.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Hmmm
Cake, a shovel, 3 large bottles of Pepsi, 2 bag of pegs and chutney?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I'm going to avoid any frivolous spending this month so I can afford to have a good time in New York at the end of the month.
To this end I am making my own lunches. Or at least I would be if I had remembered to make any bread.

And I would be eating breakfast at home. If I had remembered to get milk.

So instead I'm having to spunk money on sandwiches and croissants.

Balls.

Still, this weekend I am going to watch Rugby and then go and buy my dads birthday present.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

dad's are impossible to buy for, last Chrtistmas we clubbed together to buy Dad a strimmer
that's a striMMer
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

st

amazing what automated sex toys you can get these days.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

dammit!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I'm buying him some new cycling gear
as his is all about 10 years old.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

What are you getting your Dad for his birthday?
Cos it's my Dad's birthday soon and I have no ideas whatsoever what to get him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

pay for him to have his extra fingers removed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I'm still not from Norfolk sugarlips
And nor is anyone else in my family
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

My Dad is easy to buy for.
Anything golf related. A round of golf somewhere more expensive than he's willing to pay for his weekly game is always good.

The downside is that you will hear every hole he played described in detail for hours the next time you see him.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

New set of cycling gear

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Right. Good idea, for your Dad, no doubt.
Completely useless to mine. I might just get him another CD. I keep chucking modern bands at him to see what sticks. There's only so much Status Quo a man can listen to.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I don't get people who only have about a dozen albums that they listen to.
I listen to so many different bands and I love finding new music that I haven't heard before.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Dad's got a massive collection of music but it's all very of its time
Ironically, just got a text from my Mum saying there's a new Quo album he'd like
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I don't think that is irony.
But the new Quo album is supposed to be pretty good. The single off it is a good one anyway.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Personally I find it amazing that it's taken them this long
to think of naming an album "Quid Pro Quo".

Is that not ironic? I haven't actually bought my Dad a Status Quo CD in years, and just as I'm joking about it I'm informed that he'd like one?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

It's just a coincidence.
Like meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife.

Which, ironically, would be what you would experience were you ever to meet me!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I'm an arse for frivolous spending.
In any given day I'll rock up home with a new book or two,or maybe a bunch of magazines I didn't want or need and probably won't read, or some comics, a new DVD Box Set.

I think it's addiction transference and I probably need to deal with it in all honesty. I bought every single one of the new 52 DC comics that were launched in September. Although I have at least read those.

Last months Q, 442, Uncut, Total Film, SFX, Sci-Fi Now, Mojo, Viz and Clint have all barely been thumbed through, on the other hand. There are a dozen untouched books on my bookshelf and I still haven't taken the celophane off The Prisoner box set bought at Portmerion in April. Let alone the twenty odd films I have picked up in the never ending HMV 2 for £10 sale.

Ironically, the DVDs don't get watched because I am often watching my complete Arrested Development collection that you don't own.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I think that is in fact ironic, well done.
Anyone else care to challenge me on that one?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I did try to make sure it was before I used the phrase.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I'll need a rainy wedding day, one whiney American and a fuckload of spoons.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Are you aware that many of these things are availible for free on the internets?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Without getting into the whole debate, I don't steal them.
I don't have a problem with people who do, but I choose not to.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Are you calling me a pikey?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

No.
But if the caravan fits...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Why don't you try transfering your addictive personality to something cheap like sex and thus also making your girlfriend happy.

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Sex addiction opens up a whole new field of problems that are probably best avoided...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Well at least you'll have some spare cash.

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Have you seen how much hookers cost these days?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Hookers?
I thought you had a girlfriend?
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

yeah
because having a girlfriend/wife means that no man ever shags anyone else, ever............

this goes for women too, naturally.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)

That is the intended idea, yes...

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Well yes,
but when I was drinking I didn't stick to just beer and I fear the same problem would apply.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)

irony is what other people miss

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Well, that's my pondering for breakfast sorted then.
I do enjoy being able to spend frivolously every now and then.

And yes, if they allow to you lick the tears from their face. For an agreed fee, of course.

As for gross stupidity, starting smoking probably covers that.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I recently spent £24 on 3 pairs of socks...
but they are very nice socks
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

You are Barry from Eastenders AICMFP

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:20, Reply)

And I Claim My Free Parka?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Considering you're only going to wank in to them that seems quite a lot of money.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

That's a lot of money
what makes them so special? I spent about 8 quid on a pair of walking socks. I've worn them once.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:21, Reply)

alnk
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

They are very nice cotton and, and pretty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Oh good.
I'm glad you weren't just wasting your money.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Thanks! I shall flash my jazzy ankles all over Ealing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Harlot

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I bet he lives at 22 Acacia Avenue

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

HAHA!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I am sure I've said this before
but really, one of life's simplest but most rewarding pleasures is putting on a brand new pair if socks for the very first time.

If I was rich enough, I'd have a new pair daily.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Agreed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

That...
And a really, really good shit where you end up realising you didn't need to wipe.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Just did this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Lucky bastard.
It's a rare pleasure.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I should feel sorry for you that this is your substitute for sex, but I don't

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

al would probably say that even the money i donate from my salary to charities every month is frivolous
so i won't tug on the spending thread.

and i've never had a lapdance. but the bloke you all say is bent has been to a hooker once and refused to shag her because she didn't look enthusiastic and ended up crying when he asked why she was hookering for a living. but he paid her anyway. this is why all his real mates also think he is gay...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Ha ha ha ha ha
You're going out with a man who has used a hooker. And you're stupid enough to believe that he didn't put his cock in her.

You realise he can't ever give blood.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

i believe he didn't put his cock in that one, yes
but i know he did with a different one. i took the view he was honest enough to tell me and it was about 10 years ago and nothing to do with me. and i know he's been tested v recently and is completely clean, so i think there's a lot worse that he could have done.

now i come to think of it, an expensive hooker (he told me how much, i was horrified. she charged more an hour than i do. no VAT and disbs though) may well be more careful about her sexual health than a lot of average individuals, esp after a few drinks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Never in the history of mankind has a man visited a hooker, paid her and not had some sort of sexual relief.
So oral it was then.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Gay men trying to prove they are straight might do...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I can imagine that he told his mates that she was crying when he asked her why she was a hooker.
But the reality was certainly that he was the one blubbing his eyes out when she asked him why a man with such a wonderful physique was visiting a hooker.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

because, al, he has Issues about women due to his mother and crippling shyness
so you think having a rippling 6 pack makes up for issues? ok, you go off and get a 6-pack just like his (and BGB can back me up on just how amazing he looks as i bored her with photos), and then we can see how many of your inadequacies it cures!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Wow, you know what I reckon would really help me if I had LoLmentaL issues?
It would be having my girlfriend telling a hole load of strangers all about my mental issues and the fact that I resorted to having to pay women to fuck me. That would sort me right out in a shot.

Edit - or even a whole load of strangers. The stranger wouldn't have to be in holes.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

it wouldn't help your spelling though would it
you supercilious illiterate fucktard.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I noticed and edited before you did.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

But lets not get oversensitive about the fact that your boyfriend has crippling mental illness.
Lets not forget, he is still a DEMON IN THE SACK.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

if you weren't quite such an illiterate supercilious fucktard
you would not have made that error in the first place.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Okay, we get it, you know how supercilious is spelt. Have a gold star.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

na, you're ok
keep it to cover up your wife's bingo wings
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

i don't believe this, actually
i have another friend who went to a hooker when his marriage was breaking down. he ended up paying her to listen to him cry about how his wife didn't love him any more.

he said afterwards that it was nice at the time to have someone listen to him, but when he woke up and realised he'd paid £150 for the privilege, it was the only thing that could have made him feel worse!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

At least he didn't fuck a rugby player.
Or did he?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

i never asked
too frightened he might ask me the same question
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Tindall's all over the papers right now
Go public, you'll clean up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

So not only is he shit at rugby, but he is a shit as well
I've been so disappointed with the England Rugby team, both on and off the pitch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

i do like a bit of rugby player

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Which bit?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

not the bit between the ears

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Funny shaped balls?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

What about Barry?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I for one applaud his honesty.

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I for one welcome our new hooker overlords

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

If indeed that is their real name.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

real BOAT more like
LOL
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Or is secretly a woman.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

STOP THE PRESS
My workmate, the "Ginger Punisher", is subbing me £3 to have a double bacon and egg bap.

As you were.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Gingers coming in useful shocker.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:45, Reply)

They are also useful when fighting demonic beings
as they lack souls that can be taken to hell and tortured
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Surely that would just encourage the demonic being to aim for your own, non-ginger soul?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

dammit
I have not thought this trough
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

You pig

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Bacon and egg is good.
I approve, I have gammon shank for tea, which will be nom nommed with pleasure.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Gammon is magnificent with fried eggs and chips

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I went to a comedy and strippers show once
I have never been so uncomfortable. They weren't strippers they were prostitutes and they were fucking and sucking off guys on the stage.
( Peej, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

That sounds awful.
Yes, utterly awful.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Okay, when you finally get to feel the pleasure of a womans touch
you will realise that not everything in life revolves around your desire to get your knob wet.

The idea of a load of fat sweaty men being sucked off by skanky hookers sounds fucking horrific.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Sounds like a Bash organised by Bert

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

oh al
just what is missing in your life that you get off on being rude to strangers on the internet quite so much?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Hmmm, probably not the thing that's missing in your life
that you have to spend all your time either at work or out drinking and then telling everyone about just how AMAZING your HOT boyfriend is. Which you then spoilt a bit by telling us all that he's hilariously mental.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

FFS
Why don't the pair of you just get a room and have hot, sweaty angry sex and get all the tension out of your systems?

You're both clearly hot for each other.

I'll even spring for a room at the Premier Inn for the both of you if you like.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I suspect it's small man syndrome
and I'm not talking about your physical stature here
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

not sure if you mean me or al
i'm not a man but i wish my physical stature was a bit smaller!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I was sticking up for you!

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Now, in case you notice I'm not replying for a little while
and decide to get your Armani knickers in a twist and declare yourself "INTERNET VICTOR" I thought I'd better let you know that I have to make some phone calls so I won't be posting for a while.

Have a nice morning.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

totally bookmarking this (well i don't know how to do a bookmark but i will remember it)
for the next time al calls anyone else self-obsessed...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

This
They were dragging guys off their seats and charging them a tenner for oral or £15 for a shag, they looked wasted and probably were. Oh and the comedy was a Jethro impersonator ripping off the very worst of Jethro's already shit jokes. I don't know what was worse. One of the skanks came to our table shoved my mates face between her legs and when her came up for air he had a lolly pop in his mouth. He thought it was great, I thought "Several men have already had their cocks up there in the last 20 minutes"
( Peej, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

On the other hand.
That does sound awful. Blue night was it?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:02, Reply)

*bokes*
Where was this?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

A shit pub in my home town in Cornwall
It was very illegal, the owner locked all the doors and shut all the blinds before it started and told people no pictures or vids etc.
( Peej, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

It sounds fucking horrible

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)