weekend will be awesome
out for a mexican with some law-girls tonight, facial and lunch with friends tomorrow, then up to cheshire for my sister-in-law's birthday night out. but right now it's 2.15, i ate too much pasta salad for lunch, and i just want to go to sleep.

where the devil is monty these days???????????????
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:16, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

He's recovering from his birthday celebrations.
And also he's on leave this week, so less inclined to waste his time with us mongs.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I really hope the build up of blood pressure with constriction of the mainline arteries, combined with toxins changing the blood's chemical structure...
... hasn't induced a massive cardiac or ceraborivesicular arrest, leading to a varstly restricted life and/or a flatline on the electrocardiogram... thus freeing up Lusty's time on a permiment basis.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Yeah, me too.
I really, really hope this hasn't happened. I mean, can you imagine how she would feel if it happened? She would just want to throw her arms around someone and cry onto their shoulder. She'd probably develop a real connection with whoever it was.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:24, Reply)

now now, we're not talking about your wife
when some bus eventually squashes you flat. lusty actually loves monty, you know! she's not just after him for his homegrown tomatoes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I'm pretty sure Mrs Al loves Al, they're about right in the leagues, so it works well. None of them could do better, and both of them could do worst.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I love this so much.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

=D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Does it count as "Accidental Death" or "Suicide" or something?
There are a lot of insurance companies that won't pay out under those conditions, it would be a shame to be lumped in with a bill for a funerial, those things aren't cheap. In the Jewish faith, you pay a bit to the Sinagog every year and everything is sorted, the only thing you can 'upgrade' is the headstone, and even that is restricted in colours and shapes. But aside from that, everyone's born the same, and everyone dies the same.

But when I hear about other practices for burring a body, it can run well into the thousands, even for a basic one. I guess you could get a cermation which might be cheaper on the people who he's unburdening himself from... but if the insurance company doesn't pay out, then that's a fair whack.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

That can't be true, some people die by falling out of a helicopter into the mouth of a shark
others die from rectal bleeding
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I can imagine if you rectally bled into the mouth of a shark it might get pissed off with you
and the insurance could claim you provoked it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

anal chumming

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Otherwise known as "Darth on a night out".

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Ewwwww!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Oh you and your ott protestations.

( thealternativefact, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:51, Reply)

That sort of thing could put a man right off his ribs.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:53, Reply)

You can cope with Gonz: you can cope with anything.

( thealternativefact, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I'm pretty sure Gonz has never suffered from rectal bleeding at the table.
Or at least, not so as I've noticed.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Then you're DEFINITELY sitting next to him next time.

( thealternativefact, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Can I wrap myself in cling film?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:59, Reply)

You know what, I've never thought of things that way.
Rather than wrap everything else in clingfilm, I could just wrap myself.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Again?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:00, Reply)

*Bloik*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I'm aware it's unlikely, but if you ever watch Jackass 3, there's a bit with him wearing one of them, and exercising
Don't watch it if your stomach is anything but iron.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Agreed

( thealternativefact, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I can't stand Jackass
so this is highly unlikely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I have a beard.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Try this instead
Link
(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:09, Reply)

The B side to 'Can I Play With Madness'?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I wish this were true.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

IIRC, the video to that was the last thing Graham Chapman appeared in before he died.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:08, Reply)

I'd recommend wearing dark coloured trousers...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Not Bobby though. Nothing puts him off his wheelbarrows full of ribs and chicken.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Haha, yeah', wouldn't supprise me if you needed a bit of a chemical lift with your schedual.
I wouldn't be so blatent about it though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I think he had a week off.

( girlinthehole, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Like this?
cough
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I had a wee cough once.
Benylin sorted me out though.

*Edit* curse this bloody slow connection.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:19, Reply)

ha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 14:21, Reply)