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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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Since Al is desperate to hear about my shoes
Here's a new thread. Shearling ankle boots just so you know Al.

I hope Christmas fever has grasped every one of you cunts. Have you bought any presents yet, if so what? (Al, I'll have the grey suede heels please.)

Alt: Too early for lunch but have a food question anyway. Best starter to a meal?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:48, 217 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
We were talking about meals last nght whilst eating
And according to Monty and his lovely partner, the starter-main-dessert way of eating is only about 90 years old (I think).

I never got round to asking what we did before that.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Everything at once, pudding and all.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Just ate what we could everything chucked on the table at once
it's called Service à la russe
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
I thought Russian Service was when you have the courses in sequence?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)
I am right.
'Service à la française' is all at once.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)

u +p
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)
That's what I meant,
in sequence is the new modern eating.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:23, Reply)
I have no idea what to get anyone.
I'll be seeing my
mum
dad
grandmother
aunt
uncle
cousin*2 cousins wife*2
Cousins kids *6

Any suggestions?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I am taking up your suggestion of making foodie things for everyone.
I am extremely grateful to you for this cheap, but still good, idea.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
Can you send me your recipe for chimichurri please Monty?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
I shall dig it out.
I got a gaz from Vippers, late of this parish, asking for the same, recently.

Ask me again in a couple of days if I've not sent it to you.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)
Shall do, good sir.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)
I think that's what I'll do for the kids
basically stuff them full of sugar and lol at the result.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:54, Reply)
But don't you know sugar IS A POISON
/QOTW
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
It contains no nutrients.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)
I'm doing this for most of the adults in my family
red onion marmalade, caramelised nuts, uber special mincemeat, membrillo, chutney etc etc...
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)
My attempt at caramelised nuts was a bit of a failure
they became rock solid. Not sure what I did wrong.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
Everyone likes booze and food.
Unless they're fucking Muslims or gays or something.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)
Yeah those gays HATE booze don't they.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)
YEAH.
Too busy pouring poppers up each other's arses and doing jazz hands to get a decent, manly pint down them. Apart from that 'Marc Almond'. He likes a pint.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I have done absolutely nothing for Christmas yet.
No tree or decorations as I'm moving week after next and no shopping done. This is partly because my family are crap at telling each other anything, partly because I'm lazy and partly because I'm so monumentally selfish I've only been looking for stuff for ME.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
Paté, obviously
which reminds me - I never did send you those recipes.

Yes, I've started my Christmas shopping. I still have a worrying amount left though given that it's less than three weeks away now. Mostly books, vouchers, clothes etc for the young 'uns in the family.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)
Whenever I think of paté
'On A Ragga Tip' by the excellent SL2 starts playing unbidden in my head.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Alt: beer.
I'm just about to start feeling christmassy after my epic birthday weekend. I'm being kind to my stomach, gonna get out walking to work off some of the amazing food I've inhaled this weekend. I haven't brought any presents yet but things are looking up - I get paid a few days before the 25th so I should be able to splash out on a few groovy things. I'm going to make a fuck-off batch of onion jam this next week too, which is a cheapskate's way of praising the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ (amen) but tastes pretty fucking special.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
I saw a recipe for onion, apple and blackberry chutney the other day, I might make that soon...

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)
I get the feeling this is something I'm going to be doing into my old age.
I'm even contemplating buying some envelope label sheets and printing labels.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)
Ex-b3tan Spikeypickle has shown me a local shop where they sell everything you'd need to brew your own beer/cider/wine, make your own preserves, everything.
I think I might be paying a number of visits there in the future.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)
what happened to him?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
He was going to join the BNP until we pointed out that was a bad idea
then he was nice to me and sent me a cable to connect my phone to my computer, then he disapeared.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)
you mean you strangled him with it in a sex game, don't you?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
It's true he was taking the "Swipey" role and I was playing the "Closest Homosexual" role
and things got out of hand, he forgot the safety word, or maybe he just couldn't get the words "Manilo Blanic" out while I had my hands round his neck.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)
if only there were such a thing as google
so you could check your spasticated spelling
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:17, Reply)
If only I cared about stupidly overpriced footwear enough

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:19, Reply)
I thought you did?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)
he just wishes he could afford to

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:38, Reply)
His last job blocked b3ta, and then he started a new one where all internet access is blocked
Bit shit, really.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)
I can haz some jam?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:07, Reply)
I've bought my brother-in-law a DVD, and then all he wants is money, so that's easy
My nephews get gift vouchers, so their parents can help them with those. And also, I've picked up one of my three stocking fillers this year.

Alt: Good tomato soup, or tandoori fish.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Oh man, the fish last night was epic.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)
MmmmMMMMmmMMMMmmm
Better than Tayyabs by a fair whack.

I'm back there again on Friday too.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Lucky bugger.
My insides couldn't cope with that.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Needoos?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Correct.
They are ruling the curry roost right now, and the staff are fucking lovely.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)
They were properly lovely
WOO MORE CHOCOLATES
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I agree, lovely staff, amazing dry meat
I feel the only thing that was missing was more spices in the yoghurt sauce, but then I'd feel even worse than I do.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)
How much longer were you laughing after I left you?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)
I had to explain to the wife why I was laughing, with the hand actions and everything,
and that set me off again.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
hahaha brilliant
One of the women on the tube did give me a very strange look after she clocked the hand action
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:15, Reply)
Ahh, very good
The next meal I've got to really look forward to is next week, we're going to Gusto in Alderley Edge, the food there is excellent.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Bastard
/souptears
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)
It is only by the charitable grace of others that I am able to attend.
Plus I think I lost about half a stone last week through illness and am feeling rather trim.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Half a stone?
Even more of a bastard
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)
He looks like a crack addict
+even more
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)
mine today will be a goats cheese and caramelised red onion tart
on a bed of rocket and walnut salad. i think that is pretty high up there in the starter stakes.

or langans do a superb mushrooms in melted lancashire cheese. nom.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Tart on a bed?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
if you want to see it that way
although the pungent whiff of goats cheese might dull your ardour
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
It's like she does it on purpose
She's like Liz Jones in that respect.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
yes because i wrote the menu for the restaurant
and then chose this item

just so that i could post something on here about tarts and beds

you got me, nancy drew.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
I don't get why people are all up and like "I love rocket" and "I put lemon juice on EVERYTHING", I personaly blame the late 00s and jamie oliver.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Lego, Lego and more lego
Because you have to buy the little men and the base pieces separately from the bucket of bricks. So a £35 present for my niece has morphed into £50 and counting so far. And will no doubt get more when I realised that I also needs the Millenium Falcon and AT -AT sets
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I have got the misses an Alex Monroe necklace and some other bits and bobs
I'm looking for a classic rock branded baby grow for mini-ape, everyone else can fuck off.

Alt: A restaurant near to me does a plate of Serrano ham, soft boiled egg, French beans, pork crackling & sherry vinaigrette which is amazing.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)
I want that right now.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)
They took it off the menu recently, I almost left in disgust

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
You should get one of the babygrows that says "My Daddy Listens to Slayer" on it.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Listens to Sl is an epic g
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
that sort of thing, the wife will LOVE it

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
I just need to buy one last thing
Which I may order now then all my shopping is done.

Best starter. Dry meat. Followed by more dry meat
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:07, Reply)
Do you wrap your presents or just put them in gift boxes?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
I LOVE wrapping presents
So I wrap everything. My wrapping services are available for a very reasonable price
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)
I will be on the north circular again this afternoon

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Cool I have no job to go to tomorrow so can do them then and you can pick them up later in the week

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)
My pressies haven't arrived yet, so no dice

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Well I'm probably free when they do arrive
You can also pay me in wine
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:14, Reply)
For the same price I could get Dizzee Rascal though

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Alt: seekh kebabs, lamb chops, massala fish, rotis and I suppose some chicken tikka for t'ladies.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
The Paneer was superb too.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)
I didn't try it.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
If I could have made it, and I didn't feel I had enough kababs, I'd make the joke "Oh man, so THAT is why they call them seekh kababs, you can't find them anywhere ! You have to go looking for them !".
Everyone would have laughed, it would have been a very funny moment, and Lusty would do that thing where you laugh a little bit too much implying she wants to go out on a date with you and then the sudden quietness when I say "Wow, I made you laugh so much, we should go out" followed by a deadpan silance and then another round of laughter to break the awquardness and then when you go to the toilet I'd say "Seriously, what are you doing with him? If you break up now, you can get away without getting him a christmas pressent and our relationship will still be in that new stage where sex is more than enough for a present".
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:24, Reply)
I'm even more annoyed that you didn't come now.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Not as annoyed as me, I was well looking forward to it.
I'm alright today, seems to have gone away for a little while, but my god, I had 5 days worth of morphine and methadone in 3, and I got burn marks all over my torso from my hot water bottle, and used a whole tube of ibupurphain gel.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:29, Reply)
I, of course, read that as 'bum marks'.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)
hahahahah
I had to do a double take on it
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
If you got skidmarks on your torso, then that's _two_ people doing something wrong.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)
+by rubbish

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
*confused*
Guess by rubbish what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what by rubbish I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I by rubbish got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? by rubbish I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I by rubbish GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT by rubbish SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME by rubbish BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES by rubbish, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I by rubbish got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got by rubbish 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 by rubbish of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of by rubbish them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them by rubbish. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 by rubbish boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes by rubbish that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll by rubbish be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be by rubbish filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled by rubbish up by midnight.

Ohhhhhh. Yeah', erm. ok.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)
Diagonal rubbish
Best of all the rubbish
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Oh great, now I'm picturing someone sliding down the line of rubbish like a waterslide
Guess by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" , I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" them. 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" . 6 boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" boxes that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" that'll be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" be filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" filled up by midnight.
Guess what I got? I GOT SOME BOXES, I got 6 of them. 6 boxes that'll be filled by rubbish \o\ = "WEEEE" up by midnight.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:44, Reply)

˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı ' "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ı ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ʇɐɥʍ ssənƃ ˙ʇɥƃıupıɯ ʎq dn pəllıɟ əq ll,ʇɐɥʇ səxoq 6 ˙ɯəɥʇ ɟo 6 ʇoƃ ı 'səxoq əɯos ʇoƃ ı ¿ʇoƃ ı ʇɐɥʍ "əəəəʍ" = o ɥsıqqnɹ ʎq ssənƃ əpılsɹəʇɐʍ ɐ əʞıl ɥsıqqnɹ ɟo əuıl əɥʇ uʍop ƃuıpıls əuoəɯos ƃuıɹnʇɔıd ɯ,ı ʍou 'ʇɐəɹƃ ɥo
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
I reckon you could get all the way to Tescos

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
That would be so awesome
You should have set up one of those cable slides when you were living there.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:49, Reply)
True story, in my last place, which was a floor up and more or less across the road....
... on new years day we sent a friend down to KFC before she was going home, we asked her to go to KFC and order some stuff for us. We were still quite drunk, and she asked someone to come downstairs and collect it and pay her. So we attached a rope to some string and lowered it out a window, "You'll send down the money after, right?" Of course we would, except nobody had any cash. So in the bucket lowering it back down (after getting the food) we put in my coin-jar. She took it, called us all a bunch of bastards and went home. A few days later it turns out we over-paid by about £25, so we were friends again.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:09, Reply)
I should also point out, to 'go downstairs' to meet her would involve going out the back of the building I was in, all the way around an ally, and up the street again. It wasn't "just downstairs", not that's a good excuse.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:10, Reply)
Christ. No wonder you never get anything done.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)
Things I have done in the last two weeks.
- Created and deployed 3 Wordpress plugins, with a total outsource cost of £1250 and 1 week turn around time each.
- Created a microsite for a major EA video game, total value £2x,xxx.00 for two-month lifespan.... content still needed, but completely facilitated.
- Created a microsite for christmas promo with the 11 international magazine offers.
- Learnt how to create my first WP7.1 App (mobile phone app), which included the learning of an entire new language with a completely different sentance structure, where even page-order isn't the same as my other known languages (for lack of a better way of explaining it).... and am about 75% complete.
- Ordered and chosen Dinning room table, 2+3 seater sofas, a new bed. Chosen the carpets, and I saw-but-turned-down some waldrobes
- Spent 2 days in hospital (out-patient), plus 5 visits to doctors.
- Made a massive awesome batch of onion soup with some posh bread croutons.
- Ammended and adjusted my Will.
- Read, understood and signed all the relivent paperwork that comes with owning a flat.
- Missed hollyoaks most nights and hardly had any chinese food.
- Cleaned the whole flat once and the kitchen twice.
- ermmm..... did some copy'n'pasting up there.

So consider this me sticking my tounge out at you.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)
So you're not feeling better then?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
huh? I'm feeling alright today, just completely knackered.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Oh right, so you're actually filling the boxes with packing then, and not arse juice?
Good boy. What day are you moving?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:37, Reply)
Wait, why would I be filling boxes with poo? Do you guys seriously think that I poo in boxes? what? Why would I..... I have a perfectly good toilet.
On the 28th they're coming and packing and moving my stuff.

The thing that is really seriously pissing me off though, right, is so many sales people are like "Yeah', yeah', yeah', pay the deposite, yeah' yeah', lovely, thank you. Delivery by christmas... yeah', christmas. Yup." and then give us a call a few days later to say mid-janurary. The bed people, dreams, just did that to us yesterday, which means I have to take the fucking old bed to the new place. WHAT THE FUCK. I think I'm just going to take the mattris to save room/trips, I really don't care if I'm just sleeping on a mattris on the floor for a few weeks.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Johnny Mattris?
You can sleep on just that - it'll be fine.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)
For gods sake get your toilet fixed gonoz

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:35, Reply)
You also could have had a competition this morning to see who was broken the most

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)

+se toilet
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
You need to come on here more often.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
I do. I'll tell my boss.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)
My toilet isn't attached to the floor
I had to be really careful.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)
I'm upset this story doesn't end with you on your face with a toilet stuck to your arse pointing at the ceiling
Whilst you silently cry
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:37, Reply)
And Mrs Al coming in to clean the toilet with her new brushed-steel brush
and not noticing that Al was there with his arse in the air before she plunged it in.
might involve too much thought
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
OW!
Why would you wish something like that on me? Why? After all the Milk Duds I got you?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)
you should totally draw this too
you know you want to
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)
He can't.
He's in the bathroom with his arse in the air.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)
You're like my muse

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)
now i have clicked 2 of your posts in 2 days
:(((
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:59, Reply)
I don't understand where all this negativity towards me comes from Swipe
We used to get along, you gave me legal advice, we were facebook friends, and now your sad because I drew a funny picture at your request? I just don't get it.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:04, Reply)
no, i like the pictures
they don't make me sad
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:08, Reply)
Oh good
I'd hate for my inspiration to be upset over the result of her presence.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:09, Reply)
presents?
awww you didn't have to do that
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:17, Reply)
It could still happen
it's unlikely to get fixed down until tomorrow at least.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Best starter?
Foie Gras on toasted Brioche. Maybe some palate cleansing Cornichons and a dab of chutney.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)

dab of nosh from a
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Haha

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)
i was thinking this
but then i worried he might run me over with his bike
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
A very real danger.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)
Better than being run over by a black Mercedes

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)
With a cyclist you have the added weight of self righteousness hitting you

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
and the sense of surprise of being hit by something when the lights are red...

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
You don't think I'm one of those do you?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)
I bet you ride a 'fixy'

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
I bet you I don't

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:49, Reply)
are you saying you always want to go on top?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)
So long as there's no banana vodka

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)

ɐʞpoʌ ɐuɐuɐq ou s,əɹəɥʇ sɐ ƃuol os
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:37, Reply)
I am being the old Thames Television logo!

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:38, Reply)
i think it's safe to say that was a one-off
the raspberry stoli is so nice. but his banana flavoured cousin was an unwelcome visitor to my lips.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)
I didn't peg him for being a Glee fan

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:38, Reply)
oh, i did
camper than a row of pink tents, this one
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)
Why did you peg him then?
You must have thought he would enjoy it.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)
I walked right into that one :(
the only consolation is that apparently swipe did as well. Himjim is certainly getting around
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
and he told me he was a virgin

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)
Well maybe he is one way
but has decided this doesn't count. Like an American
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)
He has lost his anal virginity.
More of a penetratee than penetrator.
Hope this helps.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)
This is a good choice

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)

əɹɐɔ ʇ,uop ı
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)
WAKI ^

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Alright poppet

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Whenever you say this
I imagine you falling over a dog
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:29, Reply)
I also once hit my head on a table and dropped a tray.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
*swanee whistle sound effect*

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)

¿ʇɐɥʍ uəɥʇ puɐ
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:35, Reply)
this does explain a lot

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

sʞɔıɹd noʎ dn ʇnɥs
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Sounds like her.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:29, Reply)
Only if she starts talking about swinging.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

ʎuunɟ ʎɯɯnʇ ʎɯ əʞɐɯ ʎəɥʇ ʍou ʇnq əɹns əlʇʇıl sɐʍ ı uəɥʍ 'sƃuıʍs əɥʇ əʞıl ʇ,uop ı
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
You fucking turd.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)

¡¡¡¡əɯ ƃuıpuənb doʇs
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)
My wife takes care of the present buying for immediate family and her lot, my sister takes care of the presents for my mum & dad etc.
I just have to sort something out for the two of them. Usually they will give me some indication of what they want. You may envy my easy life, in this regard.

Alt: I've just scoffed a leftover samosa, often used as a starter but best had with morning tea and some imli.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)
What the fuck is imli?
Sounds like a dwarf from Lord Of The Rings.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)
It's the forest name for pygmy spunk

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Superlative dipping sauce
made with tamarind. Makes good samosas into great samosas. Also good for pouring over chana masala.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
What the fuck is Chana Masala?
Sounds like a song from The Lion King.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)
It's the forest name for giving a stranger a tromboning

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Has Indian food not reached Essex yet?
Chickpea curry as eaten by dwarves from LOTR whilst singing songs from the Lion King.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)
What the fuck is chickpea curry?
Sounds like a gayers curry.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)
It is
Given that consensus opinion seems to be that vegetarian = screaming homosexual.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
That's what I was aiming at.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
This is a great news story
www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/03/herman-cain-quotes-pokemon_n_1127221.html?ref=entertainment
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:37, Reply)

¡uoɯəʞod ¿snq ɐ uo snɥɔɐʞıd 563 ʇəƃ noʎ op ʍoɥ
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)

oh man it doesn't flip the numbers
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:39, Reply)
you should just use the number 666

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
but someone might call the police!

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:44, Reply)
696 then!

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:44, Reply)

¡əsuəs əɥʇ əʞɐɯ ʇ,uop noʎ
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

for sopme reason the upside down thing doesn't work on /talk


:'(
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
It's because your father touches you at night

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
and your mother lets him

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
because she hates you

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

sɐɯx ɹoɟ xoqx ɐ əɯ ʇoƃ əuop ɐɯɯnɯ puɐ ʞlıɯ əɯ ʇɥƃıɹq əuop ɐɯɯnɯ puɐ əsəəɥɔ əɯ ƃuıɹq əudop ɐɯɯnɯ 'əɯ əʌol əuop ɐɯɯnɯ
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

ʇunɔ ʎlƃn əɥʇ 'səɥsıʍ əɥ
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)
it works in the preview but not in the post, stupid talk
i'll have to move here permo
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)
noooooooo
how will you hit 25,000 posts before 25 dec if you do that?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)

i'll do my darnedest
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:01, Reply)
Christmas can get to fuck.

Alt: Scallops, black pudding and pancetta.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)

helicopter
ɹəʇdoɔıləɥ

Neeeeowwwnbuddabuddabuddabuddabuddabuddabudda
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:52, Reply)
Oh, goody.
You've learned how to format text. how splendid.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)
flying lesson in 5 badger, any tips?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)
don't crash
and by don't I mean do
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

bit harsh that, not sure how to take it tbh that could cost many lives
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:56, Reply)
I haven't been able to fly legally for 18 years now.
So, no. If it's a tail-wheel trainer with an instructor-in-front layout, you'll need to weave down the runway as you can't see forwards until the tail lifts. How's that?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:08, Reply)
I like the implication that you've been flying for the last 18 years anyway though.

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:09, Reply)
sounds like something he would do

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:10, Reply)
haha, it does a bit doesn't it?
If I piloted a plane now I'd crash in about 45 seconds I reckon. Maybe not. Maybe it's like driving or riding a bike, but the problem with a plane is that if it turns out it isn't, I probably wouldn't get another chance to try again.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:11, Reply)
I'll bet you £100 that you won't have the guts to fly over city-of-london airspace without a flight-plan/telling-the-athorities-thing-you-have-to-do.
And I bet you £150 that you won't land it in downing street in central london.

Offer expires at midnight.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:19, Reply)
I quite like it doing this.
it means I don't accidentally read any of its crap.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

ɥɔʇıq 'noʎ ʞɔnɟ
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)
oh so so much this

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:09, Reply)
it's bloody brilliant
when you can read, you have to, whether you want to or not. but when it's upside down, your eyes can flick blissfully over it.

i hope he posts EVERYTHING upside down from now on.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)

zqq lʍəʞ ʞo
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:01, Reply)
Yeah, but it makes my head hurt.
Which isn't difficult right now, but still.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:13, Reply)
it's annoying
because LOLignoring him means you miss everything else, because he posts so fucking much. otherwise i'd be clicking that LOLignore button like a mo'fo.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:16, Reply)
On my phone half the letters come out as little squares
So I can't even read it accidentally. :D
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:15, Reply)
Am I the only one who doesn't find it hard to read?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:24, Reply)
I have got everyone's presents except my sister
But she's getting Kindle books so no rush.

Alt: last starter I had was Lamb Jhankar - marinated scallop of lamb stuffed with pickled mango and cooked in the tandoor. Fantastic.

More usually I love garlic mushrooms to start, or breaded mushrooms with a garlic mayo dip. Terribly Berni Inn of me, I know.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)
When I was 18 I worked in a shitty restaurant preparing starters
I always used to get really stoned before work and end up munching on loads of breaded mushrooms - a handful extra cooked every time an order came through.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:03, Reply)
I bet you love the 7 spice prawns too?
Have you ever been to a Harvester before?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:03, Reply)
Prawns are the cockroaches of the sea

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:17, Reply)
I love garlic mushrooms of any type too.
Zeffirellis in Ambleside does a fantastic one. Shame about the rest of it's unpleasant vegetarian menu. Chickpea pizza on a wholemeal base? What was I thinking?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:03, Reply)
Sounds like my kind of place.
But what the fuck is a Zefferelli in Ambleside? etc. etc.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:05, Reply)

www.zeffirellis.com/

Lovely cinema too. Saw "Midnight In Paris" there (I fully realise that liking Woody Allen movies will lead to me being called a nonce by association).
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:08, Reply)
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
but which is better, creamy garlic mushrooms - there is a restaurant in didsbury that does "smelly mushrooms" - mushrooms in stilton, amazing - or crispy ones - like fire & stone's chilli and coriander breaded mushrooms with garlic mayo?
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:09, Reply)
Didsbury.
Fucking hell, there's a flashback.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:10, Reply)
You don't KNOW, man. You weren't THERE.
*rocks backward and forward in the corner sobbing*
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:12, Reply)
cheltenham again?

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:15, Reply)
I don't discriminate
All garlicky mushrooms are equal in mine eyes.

/lovingly embraces them all. And then eats them.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:20, Reply)
BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE

(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 12:01, Reply)

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