There's an advert for world of warcraft with Chuck Norris in it.
He looks like he's had a stroke. What made you go awww recently?

Alt: I dunno, when did you last stumble upon some porn by accident and was it any good?

Alt alt: Fuck Christmas.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:00, 125 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I went awwwww when I stumbled on some porn for people who'd had strokes
they kept going round in circles because only one of their legs worked.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Bells palsy facial. Messy.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)

'Cheer up, love!'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Give us a smile.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:09, Reply)

christmas is a lot like a shag, you wait all your for it and then it only disappoints you
oh wait you said smile not simile

lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Never has the acronym 'LOL' been so misused.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)

ROLF

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Gosh, I've just looked it up, he does a bit.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)

He looks terrible.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Is he actually in it?
I thought he was just advertising it. Mind you, I've never so much as looked at playing World of Warcraft, so it could have badgers fighting cutlery for all I know.

Alt: I was searching for Christmas presents for the missus and I accidentally typed 'Hot Red Head Lesbians Masturbating'. It's a simple mistake.

AltAlt: No.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:11, Reply)

So you were trying to get your missus a lesbian for christmas?
I hope she's happy when she opens her present.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)

No, I was looking for a toaster.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I bet she'd prefer a hot lesbo.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Is that like a Pop Tart?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)

no you're thinking of Katy Perry
/on FIRE today
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:19, Reply)

we can but dream, Quents, we can but dream.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)

in my dreams she's been skinned alive and eaten by rabid dogs, i can't stand that fugly cunt

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Oh, I meant you...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)

oh right

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)

....

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

:'(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Hahaha.
Actually, I've grown accustomed to your presence.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:43, Reply)

:I

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)

:)
for reals mister?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)

scarpe amd quentin sittin' in a tree
B U M M I N G
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)

i'm confused by the mixed messages i get here
they all says they hate me, then they loves me then they've got used to me then they flirt with me then they want to set me on fire?

i'm goin out in my chopper in a bit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Is missus scarpe bald too?
You could get her a nice woolly hat for christmas
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)

If ever I get lonely, I at least know that you are out there, updating your notebook on 'What Scarpe Is Like Because I Love Him'.
xx
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)

It's my b3ta bumper Matrix actually, it's a right pain to keep updated but the results come in very useful

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Can I have a lend?
/AA
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Not THAT AA, before you say anything,
'our' AA and his mangling of the language.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Gaz me names and I'll dish the dirt

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Gazing is for wimps
Give me the low down on Roota
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

there's an advert on US television for some financial services firm featuring Tommy Lee Jones
if you watch it in high-def you can see how much makeup he has on. He looks like Bill Murray after shooting the whisky commercial in Lost In Translation. I never needed to know that Tommy Lee Jones wears guyliner.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I fucking hate HD

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I fucking hate the way the pronounce it on Sky Sports. 'Coming up, Liverpool take on Fulham, also available in haitch dee'
fucking fuckers.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Footy in HD looks like a computer game

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Was it you that told me about Gary Neville saying that Luiz plays
'like he's being controlled by a 10 year old on a playstation'? That still makes me smile.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

IT'S AITCH YOU FUCKING PRICKS.
Yes. I agree with you.
Stupid people trying to sound like clever people and sounding like stupid people instead. Cunts.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

idubitably, I couldn't concur with greater alcacitry.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

iDubitably. The new dubitably from apple.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Bugger,
Oh well, at least I proved your point.

I believe I also meant 'alacrity' actually. Oh well.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Oh dear Scarpe.
Back to bed, try again tomorrow, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I just want a dubitably.
It sounds like a tablet for Stanley Unwin.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)

only pricks care about the way other pricks pronounce the letter H

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

It grates.
It grates because these are chavs who normally drop their "h"s thinking that they sound better if they add an h to the front of h when pronouncing h.
And when you knife them they spell argh wrong.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:43, Reply)

the world would be a better place if everybody was taken outside and shot

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)

"were" taken outside and shot
"if" takes the subjunctive.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Quentin can take my subjunctive any time he likes.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)

oh cool thx bbz

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)

oh-oh Quentin, your girlfriend's here.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)

humana-humana

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:54, Reply)

My daughter is being raised to say 'haitch'.
I am fighting a losing battle against this. Her mother is bright, but from Kent and thus has some pronunciation 'issues'.

She cannot say the word 'girl', for example.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)

what does she say instead of girl?
young lady?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Girw I'll wager

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

wtf is a girw? i have never heard of a girw

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)

My son's TEACHERS "corrected" him on it.
The fucking cunts.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Oh dear.
That's realy quite worrying.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

There's two "l"s in "really".

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Oh fucksocks.
Maybe Monty has the right idea and I should just go back to bed today.

Although I'd probably miss and fall asleep in the wardrobe the way this is going for me.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)

He needs all the help he can get.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Last porn i was sent was a cheerleader doing something rather impressive

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Making a cake with her labia?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Yes!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:25, Reply)

link plz

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Deleted it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:26, Reply)

fucksocks.
what kind of cake was it?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Madeira

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)

COR!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Link_LOZ_with_items.png
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:26, Reply)

If you'd have done it in ascii I would have been impressed.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)

____________9999999999999999
__________99999999999999999999
__________999999999999999999
__________9999cc99cccc99999999
_____________9ccccc¶¶¶¶999999
_____¶¶¶¶¶¶¶__c¶¶¶¶¶cc99cc99¶¶¶¶¶¶
___¶¶9xx999¶¶_ccc¶¶ccc9cc9¶¶99xx99¶¶
__¶¶99999999¶¶ccccccc¶¶¶¶¶999999999¶¶
___¶¶999999¶¶¶¶cccc¶¶¶99¶¶99999999¶¶
___¶¶cccc¶¶99¶¶¶¶¶¶¶999999¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶c¶¶
_¶¶cccccc999999999999999¶¶¶¶¶ccccccc¶¶
_¶¶99cccc9999¶¶¶¶99999¶¶¶999¶¶ccccccc¶¶
_¶¶999999¶¶999999¶¶¶¶¶9999¶¶¶999ccccc¶¶
_¶¶cccc¶¶__¶¶999999999999¶¶¶9999999¶¶
_¶¶cccc¶¶__¶¶999999999999§ccc9999¶¶
___¶¶¶¶____¶¶999999999999§ccc99¶¶
___________¶¶999999999999¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
_____________¶¶9999999999¶¶
_____________¶¶99999999999¶¶
______________¶¶ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ999¶¶
_______________¶¶999999ƒƒƒƒ¶¶
_______________¶¶9999999999¶¶
_____________¶¶9999999999¶¶
___________¶¶999999999999¶¶
_____________¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

seems to be a broken link.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)

i'm not even sure what it is, google was no help at all

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Could be a ghost.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

oh well i deffonetly won't be sleeping tonite now

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)

There is this girl on the telly, from the I'm A Celebraty lot, Fatima whitbread or something like that (I have NO idea how she's a 'celeb', never heard of her)....
... but anyway, I reckon her labia could beat me in an arm-wrestling match.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Gonz, she was an Olympic Gold medallist in the javelin
She was probably the most famous one in there!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Like fuck i'd trust her with my javelin, she'd snap it in half and i'd never see it again.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I'd pay to see this happen.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:34, Reply)

ONE TWO THREE FOUR, BOW, BOW..... ONE TWO THREE FOUR, I WIN THE LABIA WAR.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)

labia wrestling, it's the future Gonz.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Deffo. The game where only the audiance wins.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)

+ doesn't eat oysters

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:41, Reply)

At first I didn't read the word 'was' in that, and thought "OH MAN, where does someone in the UK get a cheerleading costume?".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)

PP I will knife you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Death By Dyslexia.... a lot less slexia than what you would think.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I don't think it'd suit you Gonz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

lol

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:38, Reply)

You should see my reinactment of that Britney Spears video in the school.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Should I?
Should I really?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Someone should and it aint going to be me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)

i'd watch it, is doube pee fit?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

yeah, why not? dont get any ideas tgough, im not that kind of girl... unless you wanna pay my mortgage.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Nuffink.
alt: Never happened. I stumble upon porn by typing "porn" into google.
alt alt: No. I like Christmas.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:36, Reply)

FINE.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Ask me a different question.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)

When?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)

1972.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:47, Reply)

thnx

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Do you prefer sugar lumps or polos?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Carrots are a popular choice too, as are apples
for the weightwatching horse
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Burger King.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:48, Reply)

i get sent ridiculous amounts
by email, but i have never clicked on any of the links. so i can't tell you if they are any good.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I have never been emailed any porn.
How does one get emailed porn?
I wouldn't like to be emailed porn. I'd never get anything done.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:51, Reply)

a couple of the guys who work for me emailed me porn, i wish i had fired them on the spot

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)

it's a passive thing
i don't seek it out. i am just a helpless recipient of these things.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Oh well, thanks for letting me know.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:52, Reply)

hi rachelswipe, how are you doing?
was this you?
www.observer.com/2011/12/new-york-investment-banker-sends-1615-word-email-re-you-leading-him-on-during-your-date-together/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:52, Reply)

this was on here yesterday
old story is old
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I am so hungover I think in might actually die
Pity me, and make me tea
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Can we point and laugh instead?
I have filter coffee and am post-McDonalds breakfast wrap (an experiment I shall not repeat)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)

there there!

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:55, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:56, Reply)

I'm taking this with a pinch of salt
I can no longer feel my face
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I'm going to go with the pointing and laughing.
I think when you left to go to the pub at 10.30 yesterday morning, we could all see this coming...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:58, Reply)

You need the other bru more.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I think it was the self-same advert
Although it looks more like plastic surgery than a stroke to me.

Alt: in my father-in-law's loft while clearing it out. It was proper 1980s hairy-beaver hard core filth and rather good in a nostalgic way.

Alt alt: Testify brother.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Gash in the attic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Verily it was so.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

working title rejected by virginia andrews' editor?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

That's the X Rated Version of The Anne Frank Story, I believe.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Looks odd whatever happened to him.
If it is surgery.... FUCK, that's not worked out well.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)

cf Paul Hogan. Christ what a mess.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:33, Reply)