Car registration plates
I have just got back from the Manchester Christmas Market and noticed dozens of cars in the surrounding streets that had personalised number plates. "GAV 7", "MAN U18" "DEB5" et cetera. All well and good and if people want to waste their money on vanity plates I don't honestly care.

But I got to thinking, the laws of probablity dictates that for every 'cool' number plate there should be an 'uncool' version. Where for example is "DICK ED 2", or "1 SHAT". Is there a big secret warehouse somewhere that stores all the crappy combinations or has anyone seen a really embarrasing number plate?

Manchester Christmas Market was very nice by the way.
(bugboy, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:36, 145 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Lusty and I saw a car in town with a plate that read 'WTF LOL' or something.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:39, Reply)

There was a C595 OCK in our street when I was a kid

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Well it's big of you to admit it. Well done.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Obvious reply is obvious

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

It was M8 WTF

( wanderlust, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Personalised plates are for idiots
and coach companies.
That is all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:40, Reply)

i have one
it was a birthday present!

there is a guy on my street who has the same car, only his plate reads "MY 61TCH". makes me laugh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I don't think you are a coach company...
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1464760
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I assume yours reads R5 W1P3, or something?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

CLA55Y
actually.

the woman who really has that lives near my dad in cheshire. i saw her parked horizontally across the road and sobbing because, it seemed, she'd hit a squirrel. riiiiiight.

there's also a woman who drives around with a car that says "so sexy" (not sure how it's done, "50 5EXY" maybe?). she was on tv as having had more plastic surgery than anyone in britain. nice.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

How about 5L4 99Y?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:48, Reply)

hahahaha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:53, Reply)

i don't think you're playing the game right
that's not a possible licence place. silly tangled.

you could have SLU 77Y or SLA 66Y
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

You are quite right
I've been a fool.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

hahahahaha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Are you following me?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

hahahaha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I know
I'm a funny guy.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

hahahahaha

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

it's ok
you were blind, but now you can see!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

But I seem to have picked up your friend Quento for my troubles
I'm leaving now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:01, Reply)

he reminds me of the retarded horse in family guy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:02, Reply)

nay

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:37, Reply)

My dad has one. He got it quite cheap too.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Ah but he is a coach company, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)

He is brendan from "Coach trip"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I don't know what this means
It sounds like something off ITV
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Erm.............nope.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:01, Reply)

they are a tiny investment
mine's quite old so it's worth about £3,000 apparently. nice to know i could sell it if i needed the cash. and it means i don't lose it in a car park. which i would otherwise do. thus proving the idiot point, i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Classic northerner.
1) vulgar conspicuous consumption but also
2) 'got it cheap' inverted snobbery
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

No offence, like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

You'd be right.
He also has a rolex and a flash car.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Boot 'ees not stook oop.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Eeeeeee no lad.

( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:07, Reply)

He let TGB drive his flash car
he can't possibly be stuck up.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I reckon for every silly pone there's a person who'd pay for it.
there are many many fools in the world.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Usually we do a b3ta trip to Manchester Market
It wasn't organised this year (granted, because I was supposed to be organising it), which is a shame.

I thought we'd already discovered all the Manchester b3tans anyway!

Also, This is the only numberplate to ever make me LOL.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

That is cracking!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)

strictly speaking...
I am not a true Manc, more of a pie head. OL1 home of the Tubular Bandage (and test tube babies).
(bugboy, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Oldham?
Well, I'm in Macclesfield, so you're arguably more Manc than I.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

theres a lot of words here
whats happening?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:42, Reply)

The DVLA block anything deemd rude or offensive

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I was pleased to see another MOO a few weeks ago, parked next to a BAA

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

like PEN15

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

or P4K1 B45H4
As I found out, to my disappoinment. Mother did not get her 'first choice' present, that year.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Hahaha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I presume RU6 E4T4 was already taken?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Hahaha!
L3ZZA
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

B1G 4YK3?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Ahhhh that makes sense
but the DVLA must have to be very international if they are going to block offensive plates in every language.
(bugboy, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

They're for nouveau riche twats who are 'self made', whatever that means.
Meffy builders and loansharks.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:52, Reply)

my old boss has a whole range of them
1 LET (which some cunt in liverpool changed to "TOILET" on one of our many many trips to liverpool county court to thow out some non-rent-paying thieving scouse get), 2 LET, W6 LET, A11 LET, B16 LET, M20 LET... they looked quite good as a fleet!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Ha.
He deserved that.

Finally some evidence of that so-called scouse wit.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

i was driving it at the time :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Should have driven faster then.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

^This is funny.
heathens.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I went to the Manchester Christmas Market last year.
It was really great. Far bigger and better than this so-called Christmas Market on The South Bank.

I'm really quite jealous now, I like Manchester a lot.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I went to the one in hyde park the other week
that was cool.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I did that about three years ago with work, but I think it has got a lot bigger since then.
They made me Ice Skate. I still have nightmares about that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

*counts days*
Was that because you were drunk at the time?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Actually no,
I was a little hungover, and started on the mulled wine shortly after, but unfortunately I was just shockingly inept at ice skating.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Mrs Cow knackered her ACL ice skating

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I just pushed children out of my way so I could carry on gripping the edge.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I think her injury was directly related to just that
They are recommending a full rebuild on it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Ouch.
I'd say I'd take that as a warning not to ice skate again, but I have absolutely no intention of ever doing that again anyway.

I hope she gets fixed up proper, like.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Her knee wobbles about
It makes me do a little mouth sick
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

You see less personalised number plates in Essex than you might expect.
But I think this is largely because all the drug dealers and underworld types who seem to populate large swathes of Billericay, Chigwell and Epping don't want to draw too much attention to themselves.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Weren't they all shot in a Range Rover?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:02, Reply)

One of them was dumped out of a moving car at t he end of my road.
I only read about it in the paper, mind, didn't actually see it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I think Melody Toast (aged 28) from Steeple Claydon said it best when she dun a fart in ur milk.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Did she fart on your hay an all? COS U IS A HORSE INNIT!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Everyone presumably knows about Paul Daniels' legendary MAG1C numberplate already
I remember seeing one when I was a kid that said "TBIRD 6". Because it was such a FUCKING WICKED car that it could've been one of the Thunderbirds, you see.

Hello everyone, by the way. Miss me?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:13, Reply)

No.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Afternoon Darth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Hello sir
How have you been?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Not too shabby
Work is fucking mental at the moment but this weekend's jobs have been cancelled, meaning I can get a haircut and take the kids on the Santa Express so all is good.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Good news
although I have no idea what the Santa Express is, and frankly it does sound a bit like a paedophile's high-speed lure
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:31, Reply)

It is a steam train through Weardale leading to a visit to Santa
My kids fucking love trains so this alone will be ace!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

That does sound brilliant from their point of view
A mite cold, perchance?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:39, Reply)

*Forum based validation*
Not really
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:15, Reply)

It's a 'no' from me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

You mean yes, but I am hoping to aim better in future

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Doesn't Jimmy Tarbuck
have COM 1C?

Which is 1RON 1C (I think, Al?)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

GR13F JUNK13?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

*reads*
*rereads*

*rerereads*

*thinks*

*writes down*

HAHAHAHHAHAH
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

How could that possibly be ironic?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Because he's not fucking funny?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Still not irony.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Also, I wanted to write 1RON 1C
So I don't really care.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Monty did, it's all he's taled about today

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I have taled of nothing else.
Right fucking Taliesin, me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

He taled all day?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

YOU SPELT A WORD WRONG YOU PRICK!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

HE'S SUCH A FUCKING CUNT
We should write lots of posts mocking him.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I bet he's got his 'tale' between his legs now, EH AL?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I bet he's got a big long turd hanging down
because he's too stupid to either clench or wipe his arse.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Worse than Hitler

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Darthles!
Where you been honey?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Paris, darling
At the WDC Open World Championships in DisneyLand. How have you been?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

did you win?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Nah
But, and I'm quite pleased with this, we did finish third in the World Pre-Amateur Ballroom event. All the other couples were French which means I've represented England in a World Championship, not something I ever thought I'd be able to say. We got to stand on a podium!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:30, Reply)

OK, I'm interested.
If a professional gets paid, and an amateur doesn't, what the hell is a pre-amateur?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Damn.
I should have gone for the pre-amateur ejaculation joke, rather than the genuine question.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Well, basically, it terms of categories it goes like this
Professional (obviously)
Amateur (usualy of comparable quality to the professionals, but haven't taken the exams which would qualify them as such for various financial reasons)
Pre-Amateur
Intermediate
Novice
Beginner

The bottom four rankings are what you would find in terms of categories at the competitions we usually go to. Once you're effectively too good for pre-am, you stop going to the little comps and go to more of the big ones like this weekend in Paris.

Holy shit I've just realised that I singularly failed to make even one "Last Tango in Paris" joke all weekend. What the hell is happening to me?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Run out of butter?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Nah there was masses of it at breakfast, which was unsurpsingly brilliant...
OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Who are you?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Who who
who who?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

I really wanna know

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

*windmills*



*puts pants back on*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

*researches*
*deletes browsing history*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Fuck off you massive Homo

(Bazongaloid, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Fuck off yourself shitface
Haven't you got a hedgehog to chase?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I like this
I don't have a clue what you are on about, but I like it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Old suggestion that Al, with a moustache, would exactly resemble Sonic's nemesis Dr Robotnik
He liked it the first time and is intelligent enough to remember it.

Not that he needs to now I've repeated it above.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

*googles*
*realises he doesn't know what Al looks like*
*gives up*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I don't either
but there was a meme a while back about him having an egg for a head which was good enough for me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:37, Reply)

It was Wookiee's pic of a fat man who looked like Al.
It's where the 'Al is fat' meme comes from.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Imaginative

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

This
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Afternoon Darth

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Alright mate
How's tricks?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Not too shabby thanks, weekend, first of 2 work nights out tonight, relaxing weekend planned (although it's likely I'll be round at another tenants house, fixing their internet)
Yourself?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Yeah not bad thanks mate, was a bit ill after we got home
Going to the Foxtrot family Xmas bash in Halifax this weekend which should be awesome. Won't help my guts out, mind
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Ahh, cool cool
Just have a whiskey, you fanny!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Not a prayer
My Uncle is a professional wind-up merchant and I get horribly drunk far too quickly on spirits
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Haha, dear oh dear

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Personalised number plates are ghastly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

GHA5 TLY
I believe that's owned by Tara Palmer Tompkinson.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

The SH 1T girl?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:29, Reply)

My dad has one
Which is really shit, as it uses 111 to pretend to be an M.
You have to really think about what it says before you understand it, and even then it's imply the first few letters of his surname.
As I say, shit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Right, the wedding's OFF!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Hahaha!
QUICK! DELETE THIS THREAD!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I'll let you tell DJ

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

yeah he's gonna be well gutted when he finds out there's a personalised number plate in the family.
It's best I break it to him...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

They should be clever or stupid
Mine is firmly in the stupid camp
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:37, Reply)

they shouldn't exist

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

You are correct.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:39, Reply)

*ding*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

my helicopter's number plate says UR4 LLG4Y

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

No, it's
83RT M0NK3Y53X
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

i don't get this

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Of course.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:47, Reply)

*cl1ck5*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:51, Reply)