Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New threadHey everyone what are you having for lunch.
Look a new liz jones article www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2072863/LIZ-JONES-Can-anxiety-GOOD-you.html
I got about a third of the way through and didn't have to swear at the screen so I gave up. She's losing her touch.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:44, 141 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Also who saw Black Mirror.I have had the song from that in my head all morning.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Recorded it . Now I have two to catch up on.Is it worth it?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:46,
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It's excellent, pretty fucking cutting about the X Factor and those sorts of shows.(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:48, Reply)
Pah, no one will ever do that better than Peter Kay did.wait...sorry...I mean, anybody can do that better than Peter Kay did.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:53,
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I didn't see that, because I hated Peter Kay before it was cool to hate him.(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:00, Reply)
Yeah well the first time I ever heard his name I instantly said Peter GAY more like!There was then a round of applause from everyone who heard me.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:12, Reply)
You were alone in your house, weren't you?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:22,
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True, but she didn't seem cunty in this article, more a try-hard pretending to be clever. Like a Blue Peter presenter trying to tell you about the Higgs Boson.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:49, Reply)
Not sure yet, looks like I'm going to subway though, forgot to bring anything in with me.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:53,
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When you say, "subway," do you mean the inescapable production-line industrial-sandwich outlet,or will you hide in the underpass across the road and jump some passerby to steal his sandwiches?
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:57, Reply)
If only Edmund would post to clear a few things up...(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:05,
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I seem to remember some prick posted a thread with the off topic awards for the year last year, that was pretty tragic(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:08,
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Did you see the secret santa thread the other day.i don't like any of you cunts enough to send you anything.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)
I'd get supermatt to confess to other members of offtopic being on his paedophile mailing list(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:12,
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Is Supermatt a nonce?I met him once and this wouldn't surprise me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:24,
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He's afflicted by the nonce gene ensuring that members of the public can quickly identify his offers of childminding as carrying ulterior motives(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:36,
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I had some very nice Aldi smoked salmon with dell/mustard sauceExcellent for £1.99
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:06,
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This has got my blood boiling.www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2072327/Susanna-Reid-attracting-new-audience-red-blooded-men-BBC-Breakfast.html
Racy outfits FFS.
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girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:07,
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Sometimes I'm so glad I'm a guyso this shit will never happen to me.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)
Are you not wearing a racy outfit today then Chompy?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:14,
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If by racy you mean one of the belt loops is broken because I caught it on the door handle when I was leaving for work.Then yes, it's very racy.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:15, Reply)
It does worry me that a small corner of youtube is chock full of videos with titles like"OMG Susanna Reid in a skirt and heels" posted by some terrifying chronic onanist who, I can only imagine, is recording these to share with other like-minded individuals who like nothing better than a sordid tug in front of breakfast TV.
Having a celebrity crush is one thing, I'm sure most of us have one. But that's just disturbing.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:15, Reply)
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:23,
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NOTHINGyour crisp comment crushed me.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:12,
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YESSSSSS!!!!!I win! Even thought I didn't have any crisps, I had a pate sandwich.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)
I lied as wellI went and had some spicy pumpkin soup
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:21,
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I love spicy pumpkin soup.To be honest I love spicy anything.
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girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:24,
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Same. Still added black pepper though(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:38,
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Condescending comments can crush, Crow. Careful continuation commences(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:21,
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Now it's nearly not normal(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:21,
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Cunt-off you cunting cuntI believe this successfully finishes the alliteration post
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:28,
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CarefulWith the repeated use of the "cunt" sound, you've displayed some exemplary assonance...
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:30, Reply)
Why thank youbut I'm wearing jeans so I'm not sure how
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:33,
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*drops own jeans**hands on hips, with an undue expression of accomplishment*
There, that's how!
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:35, Reply)
Oh God what happened to it?!(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:37,
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Microwaved Mushroom risoto and Panadol extra hyper advanceI Sportscowed my back last night by sleeping on a sofa bed and now all is ouch
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:17,
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I like the use of my name in this context(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:20,
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It's better than the usual'my wife came in and caught me Sportscowing next door's 8 year old son'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:25,
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I'm working on a list of b3tans to use as verbsTo Sportscow: to royaly fuck one's back
To Naked Ape: To not only have an evil hangover but to whineabout it all day long (this might be renamed in honour of Jeff)
To Stunned Poster: To be a monumental Shandy Drinking wuss
To Amberl: TO rise from the dead
Feel free to add to the list.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:27,
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This is surely eitherTo Darth, or to Supreme Crow? although I'm glad to accept The Crown of Gaylord if the populous acclaim me.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:30,
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i don't understand the last part of your sentenceis it real words?
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:32, Reply)
sorry but The Crown of Gaylord if the populous acclaim me is not an sentence(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)
To MontyTo force innocent B3tans into joining one in one's own personal cognac-flavoured hell whether they like it or not.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:30,
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Yes you bastard. Alternatively to be skint. As in "I am completely Monty'd and it's another two weeks until I get paid".
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:36,
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That was one day...it will also be this thursday(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:34,
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Wednesday for me, and I'll be working in another office so i won't be able to moan about it on here.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)
This is something we can all look forward to(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:42,
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"I chomped some bird in the park last night"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:44,
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Moroccan 'style' spinach and chick pea soup. Castello cheese and crackers.The chick peas in the soup are revolting - clearly from dried and not soaked for nearly long enough. Foul.
I saw in the paper this morning that 68% of voters support Cameron's bullish antics re Europe. In then said 'the survey, conducted by The Mail on Sunday' at which point I tutted and read about how Jordan is too busy for panto this year.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:28,
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THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY GOOD AT ALL, AHVE YOU CONSIDERED A MCDONALDS?(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:29, Reply)
I don't have long enough for lunchto make it down the Dorking branch but thanks for offering to share your staff discount with me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:32,
Reply)
I work a the bethnal green branch of burger king! OMG your so thick and wrong!(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:33, Reply)
Your commute from Dorking each day must be terrible. (
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:37,
Reply)
i don't know why i would commute from dorking when i live with my mum in shoreditch(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:45, Reply)
I would suggest that at least 68% of the population don't know anything about european politicsand so their opinions are invalid.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:32, Reply)
I would suggest that 78% of the population is disabled so their opinions are invalid.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:32,
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:37,
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This is shocking newsAre the Krankies available at such short notice?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:32,
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Like they could afford to turn down work...In other news, they used to live around the corner from my parents' house, factfans.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:49,
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That's nothingI totally walked past David Walliams in the street yesterday.
Cock that he is.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:51,
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The housewives of Gerrards Crosscreamed themsleves into fucking "snow drift" at this
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:33,
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I am going to make some sort of risotto tonight as the wife doesn't really like it but she is awayHOW ROCK AND ROLL AM I?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:43,
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Then 'Gonz' it onto a busty germans coffe table(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:51,
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You have a 'Stunned Factor' of 0.37(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:47,
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Well it means you're only 37% as girly and under the thumb as STunnedSo this is better than a higher percentage, but it's not exacxtly a ringing endorsement of your manhood.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:52,
Reply)
I'll get drunk whilst I cookproblem is I need to hoover the bedroom as well and might miss a spot
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:54,
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I feel rolls would work as a side dish, but not rocks(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:53,
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Don't be fooled by the rocks that he's gotHe's still Quey from the block.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:57,
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I haven't decided, I'm thinking king prawns, courgette and crispy pancettabutb I've eaten lots of prawns recently a they are on offer
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:53,
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Char-grill the courgettes first(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:54,
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Or use chorizo instead of pancetta(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:56,
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too strongThe pancetta will be oven baked between sheets of baking papaer to make nice straight crisp slices
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:57,
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chorizo and prawns is magnificent!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:58,
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I know, but that's not what I'm making, it'll overpower the subtle rosemary risotto base(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:59,
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Why don't you take the subtle rosemary base and shove it right up your cockyou ponce.
(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:05, Reply)
I swear this site is obsessed with chorizoAA in particular cannot eat anything unless it contains it.
*some gay-jibe about you all being sausage lovers*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:59,
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Spanish sausage lovers at thatapart from monty, he's more of a bratwurst boy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:00,
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It puts the 15" black rubber cock back in the wife's top drawer or it gets the hose again(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:59,
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I've never made risotto.Trufact!
Apart from those Vesta ones in the early eighties.
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girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:57,
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It's much easier than some people say, it just needs time(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:58,
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I find it quite enjoyableA very relaxing way to spend twenty mins stirring and you have to open wine to make it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:59,
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I'm more of a bang it in the pan and come back twenty minutes later kind of girl.(
girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:00,
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I'm more of a bang
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:06,
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Sorry. It was just too easy to miss. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:08,
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Er, that bottle was already open before you started, sporto.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:01,
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Scarpo dosen't do that sort of thing anymore(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:08,
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*looks around shiftily whilst cuddling half bottle of wine*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:08,
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She pricked her finger and fell into a coma.Hence all the pricks and the fear of doing the same.
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girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:04,
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Oh, I thought it was a reference to the time he passed his date the wrong drink(, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)
I need to change first :((
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:09,
Reply)
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