first decree: audi has to give me an R8. one of those dark shiny purple ones.
second decree: everyone else get the fuck off the roads.

alt: kate middleton. she'd be boring even in death.

alt alt: "killing in the name of". with bonus choruses of "fuck you, i won't do what you tell me".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:45, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Dark shiny purple one?
You madam, are clearly obsessed with the boaby
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

*nods knowingly*

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

huh?
what the hell is that?

who wouldn't want this????

www.madwhips.com/velvet-purple-audi-r8/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

boaby noun - penis, e.g. "She's pure gettin the boaby the night!"
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

me, because it's a fucking Audi.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

it's not just any old audi
it's an R8.

i saw one in knightsbridge the other night. FIT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:58, Reply)

My neighbor has one.
It's OK, and they are supposed to be good to drive. But it's still spending the wrong side of £80K on a bloody tarted Volkswagen.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:00, Reply)

you haven't read my post, have you
audi has to GIVE it to me.

god, how did you get a reputation for being clever around here, eh?

also, this neighbour of yours. is he hot?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:05, Reply)

yes, I got that.
Wherupon anyone with any sense would sell it and use the money to buy a proper car.

Edit - who said it was a he?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:06, Reply)

you can still get your hockey sticks in the boot, daisy
my imagination did. it also imagined him buffing it, topless.

don't let me down.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:10, Reply)

He is a he.
I think he might be a touch chunky for your topless buffing to work well for you, but, I dunno, depends how much you're prepared to give up on attractiveness to trade for a car you could buy yourself in a couple of years, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:13, Reply)

attractiveness is actually fairly irrelevant
is he mercurially intelligent, fiercely witty, and damn sexy??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Aint it better than the 911?
There's fewer of them so still different when you see em, and the 911 now is a tarted VW if your thinking is applied, along with Bentley, Lamborghini and Bugatti
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

i actually prefer the mercedes/maclaren one
i got about 95% of the way to orgasm checking one of those out in the showroom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

SLR or SLS?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:12, Reply)

i have no idea!
i just creamed myself and walked off with shaking knees
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

SLS

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

SLR

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

great
now my trainee knows how i sound when i come.

and she's a girl.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

man they're ugly, i'll stick to the DB7 thx

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Too batmobile and too many footballers chroming them out
I were sat in a SLS at the garage the other week, flicking all the switches and that, god I was so cool
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:13, Reply)

The SLR is, yep.
but isn't the SLS McMerc too?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Nerp, they got McLaren to do one - I suppose they've got that MP4 to play with now

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

ah, rightho.
That MP4-12 thing is pretty. But it'll explode after 10 miles, I'm sure.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

£168k base or something and parking sensors are an extra
Fuck right off




Disclaimer: I would in no way ever trouble their order books in any event
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:22, Reply)

costs is meaningless, though, innit?
they can charge what they like and they'll sell out.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

wouldn't buy any of them either.
Although at least Lambos have some presence.

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "better" and anything is subjective at that level of car .. I just find them a little dull and soul-less.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I wouldn't
But you could have guessed that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Dark, shiny and purple?
Missing your ex eh?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Her ex is Purple Aki?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

"banned from touching, feeling or measuring muscles, asking people to do squat exercises in public"
That's a terribly specific Prevention Order.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I started writing a song about him
called Sexual ASBO
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

My mates band wrote one about him called 'Purple Reign', which amused me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I heard that song Stacey's Mom was written about your mum
Fountains of Wayne are rampant Necrophiles
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Of course it was(!)
You fucking dolt.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:57, Reply)

do you reckon your dad still thinks about her when he spills his mess in Mummy2?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Prick.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:02, Reply)

no no no
you're missing the point. he's not a pathetic lonely weirdo who gets his kicks by being an arsehole online because he is missing a life.

he's actually a misunderstood subversive genius who is actually befriending AA to MAKE A POINT.

don't you get it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Nope
I think he's an internet shut-in who was bullied at school and beaten by his parents.

He finds solace in being a keyboard warrior and engaging in sexual relations with his sister.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

its all tru :'((((
oh its you! HI SEXPEST!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:12, Reply)

HI FANNYBAWS!

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

and putting himself on the internet in a kilt

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Who did?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Bert did.
Quentin isn't Bert though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

So who do you think he is?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Definetly not bert is all.
He'd have outed himself by now if it was.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

So it's someone's fault if they were bullied at school and they're the ones who are in the 'wrong' ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Not at all Gonz, you're missing my point.
Instead of dealing with it and moving on, he's made a conscious decision to be a helmet for the rest of his life.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

It sounded like you were looking down on him for being bullied
Some people were bullied or are bullies because they're just natural born dicks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Can an internet sockpuppet make a conscious decision?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Of course
It's a just a real-life person behind the keyboard, innit?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

The point he made about SOME people being 'allowed' to make jokes about AA's mother and others not being allowed was a valid point.
Suddenly pretending to be offended by dead mother jokes when they were pissing themselves at whichever popular b3tans' dead mother jokes the week previous is one of the things that does my head in abotu this place.
Outrage and mock-outrage.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:13, Reply)

There's a difference between something said in good humour and something said to upset and offend.
And I'm pretty sure AA knows the difference too.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

You know I love you BGB
but how can you possibly tell if someone is doing it in a humorous way or not when it's all just text? I say some horrible things about some people and yet they still come out drinking with me, even that Roota is nice to me in person and I hate her accent and I'm always worried she's going to crush me against the wall and then steal my wallet.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:31, Reply)

You get to know the cut of a man's jib in this place.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Especially when you get really drunk and then invite him into your bedroom.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I'm outraged by your response
My mother is fine though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Check again.
I've done her in.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:22, Reply)

You heartless cow!
Now I'm going to get bullied by Quents
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I have no problem with anyone actually making jokes about my mother, if one of his were funny, I'd laugh
However, a joke needs to at least be slightly clever, not just 'LOL ur mums dead LOL', which is pretty much what Quentin insisted on typing over and over again, setting out to get a rise.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:22, Reply)

yeah but
your mum's dead


lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

that was his shit shovelling excuse after he realised that he'd gone too far, though
at the time he was just revelling in being a spiteful little cunt, however he wriggles around now like a worm in a sack trying to "justify" it.

you are right, but i don't believe it applies to quenbert, i think he's just... odd.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Quintin is bert? =/

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

No, he isn't.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Much like your shit shovelling excuse when Darth Foxtrot (of all people, oh the humiliation)
pointed out you were merely being a spiteful cow when you were picking on Bella.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:26, Reply)

ah, al
how i will miss you at the party next year.

sorry, i meant "nobody".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

You'll miss me at the "nobody" next year?
That makes no sense Swipe, I hope someone else proof reads your documents.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

you can go out with quentin instead
you don't spoil a pair
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

spoil a pair? your english is worse than mine!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I love K-Midz, she's hot
not like those chunky birds you get on the internet
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:48, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

cos the internets full of overweight birds

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:54, Reply)

The amount of attention the media gives to her sister's arse,
annoys me greatly. It's an arse, we've only seen it covered with a sodding dress.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

thats true, i dint think it were out special
unlike you, fucken downs syndrome special needs kid spastic cunt
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:50, Reply)

How nice.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

not very
you retarded arse armpit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:55, Reply)

*Bumpit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:56, Reply)

It was not an arse to speak of.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 13:51, Reply)