It's my mothercunting birthday, quenders!
A fact which I shall celebrate by doing my weekly supermarket shop.
What else shall I do?

Alt: what did you do on your last birthday?

Alt Alt: Lunch or something, I dunno.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:38, 103 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Double Mr B3th's viagra dosage.
Alt: Absolutely fuck all.

Alt Alt: My curry from last night, NOM.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)

When you get past about 10,
btw, birthdays are sodding pointless.
What nomnom curry is it?
Morning btw, how's you?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

10 Viagra or 10 birthdays?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Pork, apple & spinach, rather tasty
Not too bad thanks Pookie, yourself?

Well, my last birthday was shit, as I'd told the missus I didn't fancy doing anything big, just a quiet night, she took that to assume that I only wanted to see her. I didn't really mind that, but the night before, one of my friends asked her if she'd considered inviting people round to mine, she simply responded 'Well, it's a bit late now, LOL'

She wasn't the brightest.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Yeah just considering banning someone from here.
He's gotmental issues though. I'd just end up feeling guilty. I have chicken drumsticks, the hot and spicy ones. And a bag of fruit.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I've had a craving for chicken recently, might pick up some coated legs at the weekend.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:56, Reply)

You mean, you'll still have the energy to party after shopping?
In that case, may I suggest getting CRUNK and listening to the popular tunes of the day, such as "Oops Mrs. Featherstone" by the Flange Collective?

Alt: Theme park!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)

That's what I did for each of my 34th, 35th and 36th birthdays,
Alton Towers, Blackpool Pleasure Beach and Thorpe Park respectively.

This year I thought I should do something more grown up.

...so I went to Kapow! Comic Con.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Jesus Christ, Grandad, that's like so not hip, yo.
Sounds quite fun.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I like theme parks
but they're usually shut at this time of year.
And mr b3th is a big fat poof when it comes to roller coasters and stuff.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:44, Reply)

So long as he pays, what's the problem.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

It's no fun going on roller coasters by yourself.
You need someone to sit with you, so you can scream in their ear and squeeze their hand till the bones ache.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Oh, I never thought about that.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

That's OK, so is Mrs Scarpe.
It means that there is someone to hold the bags and that I get to join the fast 'solo riders' queue.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)

There's a fast queue?
This must be a new development.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I think this was only at Alton Towers, or Blackpool, I can't remember which one, but yes, there is.
Edit: Alton Towers and Thorpe Park have them. I just checked.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I don't think I've been to a theme park since 1995
and that was in Germany.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Belsen is not a theme park.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Step away from the showers, this is not a theme park.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Was the theme 'Millions of Jews, Gays, and Spastics died here'?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)

She said Germany
not /talk.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

He he

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:57, Reply)

This makes no sense,

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:59, Reply)

It was not.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Happy birthday, b3th
alt: started down the last, rock-strewn road that led to finally breaking up with my ex, some four months later.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)

verily forsooth pour l'example

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Get drunk of course.
Alt: Got drunk.

Happy Birthday, by the way.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Happy fucking birthday.
You should celebrate by demanding sex until you walk like John Wayne.

Or, I dunno, have an extra small dry sherry.

alt: Went to the Voodoo Rooms with an inflatable triceratops.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Winnar!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)

the sex, the sherry or the triceratops?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I don't like sherry
or dinosaurs.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Winnar!

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I'd say you were in the minority here, when it comes to liking dinosaurs.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I used to like them a lot, when I was a kid.
Does that help?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

There were so many more of them back then

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

One just gets so tired of running away from them...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)

A bit, I suppose.
You must have grown up or something.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Eat it.
Not much.
Dunno.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Concise.
Well done.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Happy b3thday.
Alt: Went to work, did the usual shit, went home, had dinner with the kids, opened prezzies, ate cake, etc.

Alt Alt: Yes, it nearly is.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Happy birthday
Alt: co-hosted an excellent bash
Alt alt: not a clue. I'm rather 'off my food' at the moment.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)

OMG A BASH
I bet it rawked
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

if your tryin to communicate with me by Morse code i think you needs a few more dots and bashes
..-. ..- -.-. -.- -.-- --- ..-

(this is morse for fuck you)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

H

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)

--.- ..- . -. -.. . .-.

this is morse for quender
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Oh man, it was like totally bitchin'.
When are you sixteen because I'd like to fuck you in the arse?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

either in february of about 24 years ago

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

You're 40?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

or 15

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

or just an irritating troll.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

or 40

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Join Second Life,
and get arse fucked by an internet fatty.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Which question were you answering there?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:49, Reply)

The Bear Pookie "Would Most Like To Happen To Me Today" Question

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Ha ha.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:57, Reply)

let's not forget "pretending to be a unicorn" here.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

This should be remembered,
and carved in stone :)
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Happy b3thday!
Christ, I got into work 15 minutes earlier than normal this morning and it feels like it should be 1pm already.. Today is going to draaaaag.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Happy Birthday Internet Nemesis
I prescribe a good old "read" of the Lords Prayer
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

'ello you

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Aiiiiiiight
Did you get my gaz?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I certainly did.
I am agog with excitement and anticipation.
*gogs*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)

And the pampering?
Is there pampering?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Allow me ...

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)

She's been out of nappies for AGES now.
Do keep up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:02, Reply)

*joke about old husband*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:02, Reply)

*gets joke*

*lols*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I had a lie in until he fetched me a cup of tea and a birthday card
but only because he found out last night that I was expecting a birthday card, and I had to stay in bed while he dashed out this morning to buy one.
The great muppet.

he's taking me out for dinner later though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:02, Reply)

TO THE PIER? !!"1!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Been there, done that.
Do keep up.
Tonight will be currytiem!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Yay!
What curry?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Don't know.
I might not even decide until I get there! How's THAT for crazy?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:04, Reply)

That's my kind of crazy!
You go girl!

*clicks fingers*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Mmmm Hmmmmm!
*does that weird head side to side movement thing*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Well that's something
Perhaps your friends on OffTopic could conjure oh-so-realistic demands for you to make of Mr b3th
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I think TGB already did.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Can't beat a good waddle

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:12, Reply)

You'd know.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Oh no you ditn't!
*snaps*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:15, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I think you mean me.
I think Grammsie may take offence at you mistaking us.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Oops.
I stand corrected. Sorry Sir.
I think it must have been the talk of john wayning that confused me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Smother cayke all over yourself
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

Alt:
Ate until I felt ill then drunk

Alt Alt:
No idea. Off for a wander into town to see what takes my fancy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

There is no cayke
*sadfaces*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:52, Reply)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Good cayke

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Get in!
Seventeen years out, but thanks.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Your typing skills are excellent for a four-year-old

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)

You can resolve this with the weekly shop
along with any lack of alcohol
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Whaaaaa?
That is NOT on. You MUST have cake with tea today.

Get down the bakers.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Happy birthday, bird!
Do something out of character.

Alt: Gave the chutney that owned the bar we were in far too much money.

Alt alt: Thai Square for lunch.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Piss on a swan.
Alt: Went to a nature reserve to see birds.
alt alt: Cake competition.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Did you piss on a swan?
Did it break your arm?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Happy birthday b3th, my love, my darling.
May this day bring you nothing but happiness and joy and plenty of gifts.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Have a warm pasty
Alt: Can't remember actually. Had a party I think.

Alt alt: No idea, soz
(Kid Presentable, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:05, Reply)

even wihtout my contributuion this is an extremely shit thread

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Well, now you've ruined my whole birthday.
I hope you're pleased with yourself.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:20, Reply)

at your age it shouldn't really matter anymore

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:26, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:20, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?
there's an echo in here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:23, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Bit late... Happy birthday b3th
Alt: Went to France.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 12:44, Reply)