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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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How are you this fine (!) day?
There's some soggy snow coming down but it won't settle. Why is it that whenever it's wet or snowy I find myself in sneakers with fucking great holes in?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 8:48, 144 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Instead I have a cold. Pants. I'm going christmas shopping at lunchtime so that'll be hell. My mate's buying me a McDonalds for lunch though so it's not all good.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 8:51, Reply)
I'm tempted by the chicken. What about the beef? OMG the choices.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 8:58, Reply)
Well you have to have a Big Mac then, just so you can have the 'Oh, this is lovely'...wait five minutes 'Oh, I feel a bit sick now' experience that so many people know so well.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:00, Reply)
Contains "A slice of cheese made with Emmental". Awesome. www.mcdonalds.co.uk/food/beef/festive-deluxe.mcdj
Or do I go all Tarantino tribute and have a Royale with Cheese?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:02, Reply)
From experience I can tell you that whenever McDonald's puts a 'special' on the menu it is invariably shit. You don't even get the 'oh, this is lovely' part of the experience, you go straight to the 'oh, I feel a bit sick'.
But, you know, do what you want. Just don't crying to me later...
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:03, Reply)
www.mcdonalds.co.uk/food/chicken/chicken-fiesta.mcdj?dnPos=0
OH THE CHOICES
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)
I once had the veggie burger they introduced about 15 years ago. It was shit.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Oh, ok, I have had a burger in MaccyD's. Just not a meaty one.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:03, Reply)
on the grounds that their fragile gay stomachs couldn't handle it.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)
But we were far too middle class to ever visit such an establishment (there was even a successful campaign in my area to prevent one being opened.)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:09, Reply)
I'm fairly sure they rolled up their sleeves and helped with the building just to get it ready sooner.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:10, Reply)
I'm in a bad mood but only because my family think I've been in a bad mood.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 8:53, Reply)
As Jon Richardson has it:
"What's the matter with you?"
"nothing"
"Honestly, what's the matter?"
"Nothing"
"Really, what's the matter with you?"
"Well, now? You."
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 8:55, Reply)
And a cold. But you know what...
I don't care. I really don't.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:00, Reply)
I was on the phone to Lusty yesterday afternoon and it just died completely.
Not working at all - it's still under warranty so they are changing it today but I will lose some hilarious video footage of Len which makes me feel very sad. All the pictures are held elsewhere though so not a total disaster.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)
It's wetter than a hen party at a Chippendales show in Norwich today. Also; freezing. Why isn't it snowing?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:04, Reply)
My logic is as follows; December, pre-Christmas + rain + cold = snow. Or at least it fucking should.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Of course snow can fall below freezing. Otherwise it wouldn't snow in...well...huge parts of the world where it snows.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Where it is actually snowing proper, real, settling snow.
I can't wait. Assuming the snow doesn't give Virgin Trains an excuse to shut down for the day.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Hope the view of whichever bit of English countryside your train gets stuck in for three hours because of a bit of snow is pretty.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Apart from the fact that I've just realised it will be dark, so that's no good.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:11, Reply)
It's not a fun station to be hanging around when you've got 45 minutes between trains mind you.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Or alternatively go through to Carnforth and have a coffee in the cafe where Brief Encounter was filmed...
Top Northern tips here folks.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)
I know the journey well, I've done it loads, but I'm going to Ulverston, so I need to change at Preston or Lancaster depending what train I get out of Euston so Oxenholme is no good and you can't get to Carnforth without making the same change at Preston or Lancaster anyway.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:33, Reply)
I suggest you go back and hide in The Knares...
(Basildon reference right there folks)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)
The Knares needs knocking down and replacing with, well, pretty much anything would be an improvement. They could have picked up Dale Farm and put it in The Knares and it would have raised the average socio-economic grade a level.
(apologies Uncle Pete and Auntie Belinda).
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)
It is so shite that I no longer live there, and have to put up with living in the Lake District
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:54, Reply)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I was going to see if I could point you in the right direction...
I would do the same
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)
I would love to say I am proudly from Sarfend, but that is nothing to be proud of
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:05, Reply)
I actually really like Southend. I'd happily live in Leigh at least.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
I escaped to London for years but got drawn back. It's like Carlito's Way.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)
It really isnt snowing up here in the frozen and backward north...
Little bit on the ground but nothing worth hiding the body of a frozen tramp in.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Yes I'll make a guess and no I don't want to. You'll batter us.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:10, Reply)
I'm on a nice dry bus and I wrapped my last present last night and for the first christmas I can remember I'm not even overdrawn.
Let the hate bigin.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Actually I'm not overdrawn either.
/notallowedanoverdraftlolz
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:06, Reply)
In other news: Yay! Elastica on my MP3 player.
And yes Monty, I know and I don't care.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Has he done something to wrong you personally?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Hey, this was your idea. I was just joining in to try and feel like I belonged.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Awaiting my inevitable christmas cold, but no sign of it yet. I want snow.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:20, Reply)
but not enough to interfere with a) the trains or b) my delicate sense of balance, as either could royally fuck up my Christmas. That said, apparently we're taking Ms Foxtrot's niece and nephews ice skating on Saturday. I might run a pool on which part of me I break.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Mrs Dupinblue was due to give birth last week. The lazy cow still hasn't, so today when I go out for my work Christmas lunch I am going to have to remain sober. This is shit.
Day to day I can avoid/ignore everyone at work by staying in my office and being aloof with anyone who comes in, but today I'll be stuck at a dining table with them as they get drunk.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:05, Reply)
It will never have a proper birthday. Selfish bastards the pair of you.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Not sure how this fits in with my fervent atheism.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:22, Reply)
I think I managed 8 pints of Stella and a bottle of red last night. I need bacon
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:09, Reply)
Is it just the macho stigma associated with it?
It tastes horrendous.
Give me a nice pint of Skol any day.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Thank heavens you're joking about the Skol.
There are worse lagers than Stella - Red Stripe, for example, is barely even a beer. It's a repulsive chemical approximation of it. Foul.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:19, Reply)
I thought you of all people would know that.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:21, Reply)
And the droves of plebeians guzzle it down.
Ugh.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:23, Reply)
They should stick to marijuana production and jerk spice rubs.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)
I used to drink it at whatever that all night Indie club in the LA2 was called as it was the cheapest beer they sold.
And, frankly, I was never that fussy about what I drank anyway.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:27, Reply)
*sadface*
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:29, Reply)
but at least Stella is a clean, properly-brewed beer. Its loutish reputation is a little unfair.
Those of us of a, err, certain age will remember their old ad slogan 'reassuringly expensive'.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:28, Reply)
I'm not a lagar man as a rule, so what lagar I drink I am picky about. Peroni I like and Moretti ans Staropramen, 'scuse spellin, on my phone
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Peroni is great, I also love Asahi but Kirin Ichiban is the best lager I've ever had.
I do like a brown beer or two in winter, but on a hot summer's day I do love a chilled lager.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:35, Reply)
But then I discovered golden ales (such as this beauty: www.williamsbrosbrew.com/contemporaryales.php?id=38#top), and no longer subject myself to that gassy misery.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I mostly drink brown beer, but on a hot day I'll drink Lager.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I drink brown beer but with the occasional lager when it's hot. Do keep up.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Another devastating b3tan intellectual is in the party house
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Hic.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:14, Reply)
Just generally, I'm not inviting myself round or anything.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:18, Reply)
By giving you 20 years. Given a shave and a haircut and a bowlre hat the resemblance is uncanny
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:37, Reply)
and thus turn my posh nose up at your smelly town.
Does it still reek of shit when the tide goes out?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:53, Reply)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)
he called Mike Smith a prick forever more after that.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:40, Reply)
i got 10 hours sleep last night, but I'm still knackered, I'm guessing it's ME
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:40, Reply)
I got there two mixed up once and told a gut just diagnosed with MS to suck it up and get over it.
Luckily he was a cunt
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)
that's why they are so lethargic and lazy
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:46, Reply)
is Suicide Commando's charming paean to tolerance and love, "Die Motherfucker Die". Which would have been perfect yesterday or the day before, but today I'm in a really good mood.
Why hasn't someone invented an incredibly lazy device like a mood-detecting iPod?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Which makes you bent.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Despite being unemployed scum, however, I am unable to languish in bed sleeping it off as I have to be awake for when the electrician comes fifteen minutes ago to fit the oven that was delivered yesterday.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)
It's replacing a shit gas one, therefore it needs wired in. I'm not a qualified electrician.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)
although some bright spark has brought cheese instead of chocolate for her birthday treats. so i am going to cure the hangover with delicious offensive stilton.
the ex just sent me a link to a song he thought i might like. by dj eternity. called "you belong to me". i am torn between laughing and crying at how anybody could miss the connotations of this!
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:33, Reply)
my xmas do is tonight too, where are you off anywhere nice?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)
it's no deeper than "i liked this song, what do you think?"
last night was clerkenwell house. tonight is my friend's engagement party. and i hate her fiance. oh well.
where is yours?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)
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