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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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/OT seems to have been taken hostage by fuckwittery
No offence Horsey, I was enjoying that game until Quentin.

Apparently I'm going ice skating on Sunday. What part of my body will I hurt, how badly, and will it heal in time for me to be able to dance in Blackpool on January 7th? Prizes for the winner. May just be a pint. Judge's decision is final etc.

Alt: To my eternal shame I thoroughly enjoyed a book aimed squarely at the Twilight demographic, called The Hunger Games. There's a film out soon. What FILM events are you looking forward to in the next year?

AltAlt: Who's going to win SCD tomorrow? I actually don't care. What has become of me?!
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:32, 222 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
You will fall over and all your fingers will get sliced off. Fortunately, this will not effect your dancing.
alt: I want Zombies And Shit to actually get made.
alt alt: No.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Which hand?
I could feasibly do Ballroom without the fingers of my right hand, but the Latin would be shafted regardless.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:38, Reply)
ALL your fingers.
You can get prosthetic ones from Asda now.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)
I call bullshit
You can get fucking anything from Asda
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Dunno what you mean.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)
Gonz had a strop in Asda once and hurled his basket to the floor, declaring that he would never return.
And he didn't, for the rest of the day.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)
I call bullshit.
Gonz eats nothing but takeaway.
While chain smoking.
In fingerless gloves.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)
He can't get Yop and smokes delivered.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)
I am unable to contribute to this thread.
Soz.

The only film I've actively looked forward to seeing before it came out in recent years is that Lemmy documentary. It did not disappoint.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)
You're unable to contribute to a thread about me getting injured?
I'd have thought you'd have gone to town on that shizzle.

What's this Lemmy documentary called? It has your seal of approval, I take it?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:38, Reply)
It's called 'Lemmy'.
Lusty and I saw it in the cinema in Brixton, with a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

A few years earlier I took a bottle of cognac in to see End of the Century (Ramones film). It's my 'thing' when I go to the cinema to see some 'cinema'.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:40, Reply)
What did you take when you went to see Mamma Mia?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)
Methadone.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)
The piss.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Liberties with the usherettes.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Diabolical liberties?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:45, Reply)
The very worst.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)
A gun.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Excellent answers all
Genuine officelol
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Boyce
I have been for fry up and five pints of stout and port.

Hangover? Woman more like.

EDIT: With the boys from school.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)
You are a titan amongst men.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)
I will die young.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)
By mid-January, is my best estimate.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Can't come soon enough.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)
That's not what my wife says.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)
She's a slag though.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Your poor missus.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Oops, too late.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)
last time i went ice skating my thighs hurt like buggary

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:40, Reply)
When I was a teenager someone skated over my wrist at an ice rink
still have the scars. Good job it wasn't a proper sharp skate or I'd have been wanking left-handed for the last 20 years.

So, you know. Be careful out there.

Alt: None, even though I'm really into film.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Not even SMURFS 2: The Smurfing Klumps?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)
that's too obvious to mention
anyone that isn't on tenterhooks for that is a fucking quender.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)
What is all this quender business?
I don't understand it and I'm not sure I like it.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:45, Reply)
I disapprove of it heartily.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:48, Reply)

he f

HAHAHAHA! GUFFS!
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Oh man you got me!

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
Guffs are funny, aren't they?
Thrrrrp! HAHAHAHAHA!
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:51, Reply)
ERRR!!!
OPEN A WINDOW, SOMEONE!!!!
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)
t's a contraction of queer and bender, old chap.
it's like being bent, squared.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Oh.
I still don't like it. It's an awkward word. It's a load of old shap.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
It is.
it's all 'old chap, good morrow' balls
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)
I'm afraid I subscribe to the newsletter
of "why use a four-letter word when a perfectly good ten-letter word is available"

It's not like letters are rationed. So, y'know, arses to that.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)
What you on abaaaht?
You think 'quender' is a long word?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
no, but it's part of my general ethic.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)
i think he's sayin he likes to use big words when little ones will do
little realising that his faux-victorian spiel makes him come across as an even bigger mockney twat than Russell Brand
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Steady, son.
twat, yes, but mockney? git tae fuck.

and it's one of the fundamental laws of quantum physics that nothing in the universe is as bigger twat as Russell Brand, I'm afraid.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
pretty sure you are, chopper boy

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Oh, man, my ironyometer has asploded.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)
asploded? are you a grown man or what mate?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Oh, man, my replacement ironyometer has asploded.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)
i can't believe i'm arguing with you, your obviously intellect is much higher than mine

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:14, Reply)
I've no idea
since you've not managed more than two consecutive posts without slipping into trolling.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)
oh wait what no what? i haven't i swear guv
i don't like the comedy 'shakespearean' speak, it irritates me, i ahd a serious point
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)
fair enough.
quender's nothing to do with the shakespearean arse though, this place has a long history of portmanteau, it's even in the FAQ.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
its seriously gay tho
verily forsooth pour l'example? you come across like a right bunch of poofs

Fuck off
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)
No good whining at me
it's not something I've ever done.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:37, Reply)
you said quender up there and said your proud of saying big words when little ones suffice?
nobbbbbbbbb!
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)
Oh for fuck's sake
you really, really don't get it, do you?

One last time. "quender" is entirely fuck all to do with the shakespearean stuff. "quender" is a piece of portmanteau (just google it and save me the pain), which is a long-standing b3ta meme.

and big words versus little words? what, you assume every fucking thing said on this place is gospel? Good luck there.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:05, Reply)
you seem a tad annoyed, calm yourself plz
quender sounds like one of them shakespeare words and its shit so stop using it

YEAH?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:15, Reply)
It's not annoyance.
It's the world-weary tone I use when explaining something mindblowingly simple to another 17 year old student who just doesn't get it. I couldn't possibly raise enough emotion one way or the other to get annoyed with you, old chap.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:18, Reply)
chap?
fucks sake man, the 30s were over a century ago
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:19, Reply)
You are Will Self AICMFP

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)
nah, I'm rubbish at "the smack"

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I might quaff a flagon of ale etc.
What a lot of vaganny.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
You forgot to proffer something at a wench

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)
ee-gad!

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)
*does a thing*

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:12, Reply)
pour l'example, forsooth, verily
STOP QUENDERIN GME
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)
verily forsooth!

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)
And Spy Kids 8: The Fiddler Strikes.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:48, Reply)
The new expendables has chuck Norris in.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Mission Impossible 7 has Floella Benjamin in.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Alien 7 has Wilf Lunn in it.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)
The Fast and The Furious 9 has Joey Deacon in it.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Men In Black 2 has Samual L Jackson in it

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Final Destination 57 has an almighty seam of shit through it.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
Harry Potter and the prisoner of goblets starring daniel craig

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
I'm guessing he plays 'The Furious'

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
It's basically 85 minutes of his increasing frustration at not being able to get the car in gear.
Followed by a minute of him kangarooing down the road before crashing into a big pile of tinned soup.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Does Vin Diesal get all up in his face?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)
Yes. He gets all up in his face about ruining his soup display.
Then he flips his shoe in the sea.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Then he flips his shoe in the sea
Just like he did when he was at the seaside with Simon Groom.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)
It won't make it any better than the last one.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:46, Reply)
Despite how easy it would have been to do just that.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Mrs Cow did her ACL in ice skating
This will affect your dancing
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Anal Cow Lane?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Is this some sort of Tyneside based qualification?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I did also think this.
"advanced certificate in letching"
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
It'll affect a fuck load more than that.
how did she do that?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Slipped and landed on her knee right on the ice and stretched her ligaments
Wobbly unstable knee now
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)
gaffer tape.
job done.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Arsehole cock lesions?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
Aggressive cunt-lapping?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Agressive Child Luffing.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:54, Reply)
I believe I already answered this question a couple of threads ago.
You either missed it or chose to ignore it.

Alt: FILM is wasted on me. I usually fall asleep before the end.

AltAlt: Society loses.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Oh yeah, sorry
What's a frenulum? Sounds like you're taking liberties with the name of one of my favourite bands
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Isn't that the foreskin attaching dealy?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
its the banjo string attching the foreskin to your helmut

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:51, Reply)
Cock off.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)
nah thats castration

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Seriously, fuck off.
Or we go back to "twat" replies.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
i don't think i will, thks all the same tho

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Twat.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)
i like this

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Flange

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
croissant!

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Cunt.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
i missed this

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Most things go over your head.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)
i meant that i missed having you here replying to my every post
i'm not sayin i love the attention, but...
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Minge.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
FLARPS

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Simpering fuck faced fool.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
i think you may be onto a dead donkey here, which one of us do you reckon has the kind of personality to stick to something forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)
Definitely me.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:07, Reply)
twat

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
That's the spirit you sickening little prick.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Twat.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)
sickening? bit strong innit?
i reckon you'll last a week tops
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I tell you what
I'll just put you on ignore and you can be content with the fact that you have joined an elite group of cunts with racetraitor and apeloverage. This is clearly what you are striving toward.

Well done.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:19, Reply)
hahahaha!
I win, your WEAK
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)
OK spaz. A mighty victory indeed.
One day you'll get a friend and this will make a good story whilst you're tossing each other off.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:23, Reply)
i thought you were putting me on ignore?
you gonna shut up now or waht?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:24, Reply)
Hahahaha.
Internet brave.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)
would i need to be brave off the internet too?
are you making threats of PHYSICLA VIOLENCE against me online?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)
You don't know what a frenulum is????

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Nope
Dropped biology when I was 14 on account of being shit at science. I memorised all the bone names that might come up in pub quizzes though, obv.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)
Man, I love Frenulum Breve, they fucking rock.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)
I only like their early stuff.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)
They've got nowt on Personality Horse

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)
Smash Hits band of the year 1988.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)
We were banned from the Smash Hits offices after our 1987 interview.
They had a solicitor send us a letter and everything.
I'll be honest, we were never really that thrilled about having to do a Smash Hits article anyway. But we really needed to promote that Christmas album to pay off some legal costs elsewhere.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)
And what a year that was!
They narrowly beat Chad Jackson IIRC.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)
I only like the theoretical stuff they made before they actually met.
The first time Barefoot Jazz and Trevor Sorbet even talked to each other they'd sold out, man.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I know what you mean. You're wrong, but I know what you mean.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Tie a pillow to your bum

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:56, Reply)
How will I make the money to pay for my entrance?
As it were
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)
By going to work every day and earning your salary, i should imagine

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)
You can keep your crazy outside the box thinking cheers Starbuck

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)
I hardly think arsing around on here all day qualifies as "earning your salary"
I always* feel pretty bad on payday.

*rarely
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:03, Reply)
If your lucky you will still be broken, I can think of almost no place on earth I less rather be the Blackpool in january
AltAlt: maybe you've been bummed straight?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
ODed?
(over-dicked)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:42, Reply)
A lot of people were having their Christmas parties at
Bodeans last night. I think I want to work somewhere where they have their parties at Bodeans. I assume some of them were work parties. Do people have regular parties just for friends? That seems weird.

I still want to see Troll Hunters, think I missed the cinematic release though
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:02, Reply)
You need to have a job to have a work christmas aprty...

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)
You're lucky you don't need basic typing skillz to have a job

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)
truely I am

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)
"Do people have regular parties just for friends? That seems weird."
haaa haaaaa INTERNET
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:05, Reply)
That sounded different in my head...
I meant Christmas parties, obviously birthday and new year. Occasional wedding party maybe. But I will take the mocking :(
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
City jobs, innit.
More money than sense.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)
What's Bodeans?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:07, Reply)
Catalogue clothes company

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Is it a popular venue for Christmas parties?
I would have thought all the industrial printers would get in the way. Plenty of scope for humuourous arse prints though, I guess.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:10, Reply)
delicious

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Is Bodean's the pig place?
The missus always refuses to go there. I think she's scared about how much pig I will eat.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
yup
I had burnt ends and pulled pork. nom nom nom.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:14, Reply)
'Pulled Pork'...fnarr.
I'm actually quite jealous though. Maybe she'll let me go there for my birthday...
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:16, Reply)
You should just go anyway
Tell her you have a work thing or something
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)
When I come back stinking of bacon and rolling along because I can't walk anymore she may get angry...
Still, it will be worth it. And there is one right next to Tower Hill, so...
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:21, Reply)
I've been to the Soho one once
and apart from it being where I first met Lusty I was a bit disappointed. It's alright, but I've not been back since so make of that what you will.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)
I like the music in there.
They play shit 90s country and it reminds me of the country music channel we used to have on cable.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Our Christmas party was a peculiar affair.
It was in a golf clubhouse style affair. The bar was tiny, as was the "dancefloor" (read wedding style lino slab).

My offices are absolutely crammed with dangerously good-looking women. It being Uxbridge though, they are only dangerously attractive before they open their mouths and the worst accent in the universe pours out.

Very confusing.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Probably slightly predictably
I'm really looking forward to The Avengers. But most of all, The Dark Knight Rises. Can't wait for that.

I shall be out having a Christmas Dinner in a tiny restaurant in the middle of nowhere somewhere between Kendal and Windermere while the SCD final is on.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:11, Reply)
you know there both gonna be shit right?
dark knight was already not as good as begins and anne hathaway as cat woman? fuck off
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:13, Reply)
I liked the dark night, liam Neesons moustach put me off "Begins"

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)
i liked it too, sexface was probably the best character in it, but like all the batman films before it
the more sequels they do, the sillier it'll get, rises is going to be poor
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:22, Reply)
The best ever batman film was the one they did in the sixties.
"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb".
Awesome stuff.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:48, Reply)
i like the one where alfred kidnaps bruce when he was a little boy and uses the laser they were using to carve their own version of mount rushmore to shoot his way into their vault

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)
I like the one where Robin tries to stamp all over Batman's herb garden, but, luckily the number nine has stitched a protective cover for it.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)
i liked the narrative of that one
but felt that christian o'connell was a poorer robin than he was in the one where hugh jackman does all the tap dance?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:55, Reply)
Yes.
But Hugh ruined that when he tapped all those frozen peas to his face and claimed to be Mr freeze.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)
oh sure, it was the lowest point of the movie
even worse than when the riddler cashed all his bar mitzfah bonds
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:01, Reply)
Interestingly my opinion differs to yours.
I thought Batman Begins was alright. But Dark Knight is one of the best films I've ever seen.
However, I hold out little hope for the next one. Especially if it will have a cat woman in it. It'll be all tits and leather. Fine for a wank, but shit as a film.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:46, Reply)
Nail. Head.
Hathaway would make a better crazy cat lady than catwoman
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)
They won't be able to do Catwoman properly.
She doesn't fit comfortably into a Hollywood pigeonhole.
It would suck whoever played her.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:54, Reply)
it's because the whole premise is so ridiculously far-fetched, what made begins and knight alright was that there was some degree of plausability
catwoman isn't a plausible character outside of cartoons
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:56, Reply)
I was shoked they dun Joker so well.
I wouldn't have thought that was possible. FOR YOUR REASEONS
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:10, Reply)
its cos they made him actually mental, its the only way you can portray characters like that and keep it believable

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:18, Reply)
I heartily endorse these comic-geeky statements
Can't fucking wait. I'm going to a poker night tomorrow rather than watch SCD. It wouldn't be true to say I've lost all interest but it's nowhere near as good as it was. Mostly because it's very little to do with fucking dancing any more
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)
I have a Christmas party next week, that is fancy dress
the theme is characters from Christmas movies, I'm looking to you /OT for suggestions.

So far my plan involves face painting the shape of an iron onto my face and going as marv from home Alone.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:22, Reply)
Go as John McClaine.
That's got to be the easiest option.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:24, Reply)
cover yourself in offal and sputum

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)
HO HO HO HO, BUT SHOULDN'T HE WEAR SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO WHAT HE WEARS ALL THE TIME FOR THE PARTY !??!?!?! HO HO HO

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:38, Reply)
*like*

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)
Go as a massive spastic.

Like you have any choice.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:29, Reply)
For my next halloween party, I'm going to go as myself except excactly 1 year in the past, and explain to people that I didn't go to a helloween party the next day.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)
Five minutes before the deadline for entries to the "most Christmassy desk" competition
I stuck little white paper beards on the picture of me and Ms Foxtrot, chucked a load of tinsel on my desk and hung baubles from my scaffold piercings and threaded bows through my flesh tunnels. The judges have just been round and summarised that it appears that "Christmas has exploded on my desk".

Thought you all should know.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:24, Reply)
I didn't understand the middle section of that sentence.
And I'm not sure that I want to.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Which part?
Maybe I can enlighten you?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)
I think I can live without any further knowledge of your flesh tunnels actually.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
They're not what they sound like
Well actually they're exactly what they sound like, they're just not what you're thinking of
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:34, Reply)
You really do yourself no favours, you know that don't you?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Is there a prize?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)
50 nicker in vouchers
Given that another girl in my team bought a load of stuff and did her desk quite tastefully, if I win off the back of decorating myself as well as my desk it'll be most unjust and hilarious
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:29, Reply)
I hope she loses.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
The 'winner' gets torched in the car park
in what local police are calling the most savage homophobic assault on record.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Can't believe nobody's done this yet:
"+Father desk face"
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)
dahhlings it's nothing really I just threw it together
*knowing wink*
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Fucking hell I wish I'd said that
Esprit d'escalier and all that
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:30, Reply)
You should have got all the stuff on your desk
sitting in opposite corners not talking to each other, and left the mouse on its side next to a pile of blu-tack and some discarded mini-spirits bottles.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Crackin' idea
Except my water bottle, Nottingham Forest mug and one (if not both) of my Ballroom trophies are noisy cunts and getting them to shut up would have been tricky
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)
You have trophies at work?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Just a couple
and my Stars shield
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:40, Reply)
I've got my Silver Swimming Certificate on the wall.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:41, Reply)
I NEED THE VALIDATION ALRIGHT

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)
They come very much in handy sometimes.
Only last week I was walking by the canal in my pyjamas, when I saw a black rubber brick in the water, that was clearly in some distress. Fortunately for all concerned I was more than prepared for this, and performed an immediate rescue.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:02, Reply)
Tower Hamlets' own have-a-go hero

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:03, Reply)
This is surprisingly common
Fortunately black rubber brick deaths have been dramatically reduced over the last 20 years.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:03, Reply)
i can't beleive set your faces to send has threatened me with physical violence onl;ine cos i said some words
i'm too scared to go out now :(
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)
its alright, i'd be pretty upset too if i kept being outsmarted by someone who comes across as stupid on the internet

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:44, Reply)
No-one cares.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)
thats what hurts most of all :'(

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Clever or not, stupid or not
you are a terrible, tedious beaker. Although I have to grudgingly admit to finding you funny sometimes. I feel dirty afterwards, I have to scrub myself with a nail brush until I bleed. But still, funny sometimes.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:01, Reply)
that means a lot to me

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:13, Reply)
Shut up Gary, you piece of shit

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:13, Reply)
CALM THE FUCK DOWN

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:17, Reply)
I went to my new flat last night, it's fucking georgous, absolutly amazingly nice.
I an't wait to live there.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Where is it, again?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 11:59, Reply)
Near Enfield Chase train station.
The overground is really easy, but one thing that pisses me off, why the hell don't they put some lights on the signs? You can't see what station you're at most of the time.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:06, Reply)
because as soon as they do, the lights get smashed
You've lived in London how long and you haven't realised this?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:08, Reply)
What a bunch of twats, all they need to do is put a mesh wire around the lights that are under the signs.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:18, Reply)
Is that line that finishes at Liverpool Street?

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:14, Reply)
Nah', moorgate
I can take the train Stevenage, North Holts or some third one I can't remember.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 12:17, Reply)

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