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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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As that thread seems to have diedWho would you like to murder? Why?
How would you go about it?
Alt: Lunch I suppose.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:18,
171 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I'll pick Louie SpenceHis over-the-top camp routine is something out of the 70's and his voice makes me want to pull the remains of his tongue out with pliers and burn it.
After this I'll sand him down until death
Alt:
Pitta bread, peppers and egg. Meh
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:21,
Reply)
I'm not one for murder, me...Alt: spicy chorizo pasta. With peppers an courgettes and ting.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:24,
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A colleague said to me yesterday "Roota, I think you'd marry chorizo if you could."
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:28,
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Same.Alt: I dunno, I feel a bit queasy.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:26,
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Have some boiled water and a piece of dry toast(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:29,
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He can't afford to boil water or toast bread(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:33,
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I can't imagine anyone worthwhile would miss Russell Brand, Michael McIntyre, Alan Carr, Jimmy Carr, Noel Fielding, Lee Evans, or anyone like that.I'd put them in a room with limited oxygen, and tell them that the funniest person gets to live, before I chortle heartily at the sight of them slowly suffocating, dreaming of their freedom.
Alt: Home made pasta thing, rather tasty.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:29,
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Mine's homemade and all.Made it the other night so I know it will be nice.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:30,
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Mine's just a mixture of veg, garlic, sweet chilli sauce, and pasta. One of the few entirely veggie dishes I really enjoy.I've got some chorizo, but I'm saving that for next time I get my hands on some chicken.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:30,
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I'm gonna roast me some peppers, tomatoes and such like for some pasta tomorrow I thinkMaybe a bit of halloumi also and chilli
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:35,
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For this one, all I do is chop onions, peppers, mushrooms and garlic into a wokThen, start to fry those off, season as you wish. Stick some pasta on to boil, then add a couple of tins of tomatoes and some sweetcorn to the veg, continue to cook. Add chilli sauce to taste, drain pasta, pour pasta into wok, mix together, serve.
Easy, cheap, and probably the healthiest thing I make.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:41,
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Sounds simple, tasty and good(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:44,
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sounds greatbut i would have to pimp it up with blue cheese or feta or something and some nuts.
hence the current detox :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:44,
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If I have cheese in, I'll grate some over the topIf I don't, ah well.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:45,
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:52,
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No, the sweet chilli sauce I use is quite strong for what it isI wouldn't put anything sensitive anywhere near that stuff!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:56,
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i love feta and goats cheese with an equal passionsay you're in waitrose choosing a pizza. and the choice is a feta pizza with caramelised onions or a goats cheese pizza with roasted vegetables. i mean. why would they make you choose? why roota, why why why? why can't they let me cut them both in half and make a delicious whole??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:52,
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Erm. Do that at home and freeze the leftover halves. Not exactly brain surgery. Even you should be able to do that.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:53,
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i am going to take perverse pleasure in being sweeter to you, the nastier you are to me, i thinkso, darling, i loathe frozen food (unless it's ice cream). it never tastes the same.
fresh only please.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:56,
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This could be an interesting experiment.Just how nasty can I be?
How nice can you be? How long before you snap and call me a cunt?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:57,
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i knowthere's a delivery chain in london called hell's pizza with the most exotic topping menu you've ever seen. AND THEY DON'T CHARGE FOR EXTRA TOPPINGS. i had feta cheese, cashew nuts, jalapenos, blue cheese and a load of vegetables, just because i could. but then the careless cunts closed the one that delivered to me. sad times. sad, sad times.
although hopefully less cardiac-arrest-inducing times.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:57,
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Cheese is the best bit of everything that involves cheese(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:58,
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cheese is fucking awesomealthough i was pleasantly surprised by how much i enjoyed pizza without cheese, provided it's stuffed full of vegetables.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:06,
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nor did ibut my flatmate was lactose intolerant (genuinely days of diarrhoea and sicking, not just a bit lame) and it was the only way she could eat it. i agreed to share it with her. had my cheddar at the ready to grate on top. realised to my huge surprise that you don't actually miss the cheese anywhere near as much as you'd think.
and i practically put cheese on ice cream!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:17,
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Blimey.I think cheese on ice cream might be nice. I might try it.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:18,
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Add Bono and Ricky Gervais and you've got almost the perfect list. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:33,
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The reason I despise these is because when I point out how shit they are, there are always several people I know defending themNo-one I know would defend Bono or Gervais.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:42,
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Does saying I find Jimmy Carr and Noel Fielding amusing sometimes count as defence?Won't claim either as great comedians, but humour is subjective and all that.
Edit: Equally Gervaise can (very) occasionally be funny and bono did a few enjoyable songs, both are still knobs though.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:48,
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I can understand that others find them funnyBut that doesn't make me want to kill them any less
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:49,
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I can understand that (and why) orthers would want to kill thembut that doesn't make me find them any less funny.
Gervaise is borderline though, really not that funny compared to what a cunt he is.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:51,
Reply)
Once upon a time, I was quite a fan of Gervais' stand up, until someone asked how I was able to put up with the smuggeryBefore that, it hadn't occurred to me. Now, I can't even watch him, he just annoys me too much.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:54,
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well this has sparked a stimulating debateany girl that i think is annoyingly hot.
by ripping her face off.
lunch - mushroom soup.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:43,
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What about the less attractive ones with cracking bodies?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:44,
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they count as hotand ripping their faces off will still kill them.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:44,
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As long as I still get to see her breasts, that's fine by me.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:45,
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Known by the youth of today as "Butters" I believeAs in "... but her face..."
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:45,
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I like the term 'two bagger'.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:46,
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BOBFOC and 'prawn' are also excellent(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:48,
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Where you'd rather keep the body, throw away the head(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:51,
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I had to be careful with wording, as she still is very prettyBut sometimes, she simply doesn't look it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:46,
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Can I kill all the females in the world apart from me?(
girlinthehole, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:48,
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I'd rather you didn't, as I'm quite fond of a number of them(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:49,
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Are you inferring that that is what it would take for you to get laid?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:49,
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Well nobody would want to be with a bitter murdering cowSo kill all the women you like, you bitter murdering cows.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:52,
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Haha!I'm sure the fact I'm a bitter murdering cow would be looked over eventually.
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girlinthehole, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:57,
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They are frotting themselves against the furniture(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:07,
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*narrows eyes**remembers it causes wrinkles*
*wipes face smooth and bland*
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:53,
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for srs the womens in this thread be living up to their stereotypes(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:27, Reply)
your complaining about the other women, ergo you are the other end of the MENTAL BIATCH spectrum(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:35, Reply)
aw pet, here's a schuh voucher, cheer yourself up with some aspidistras(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Shove yer plant up yer arse,I don't need any shoes anyway.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:53,
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I agree with chompy's answer.I don't really want anyone dead.
However, my father in law is currently in the final throes of life, organs slowly failing one by one. It would be better for all concerned if he could just be given something to put him to sleep to put everyone out of their misery.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:59,
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Have you tried printing out all of Quentin's posts and letting him read them?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:06,
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HahaIt's a good idea, but I haven't actually been able to see him.
I stay at home with our newborn daughter while my wife goes visiting.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:10,
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I'm sure she would sit there, reading them to him.While he gently passed on to oblivion.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:12,
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Has she not tried suffocating him with a pillow?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:20,
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or if she's a sly cunt she could alter his drug chart (
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:21,
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it's pretty easy to do folks(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:22,
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I don't think they are even treating him nowBut the stubborn old bugger still hasn't died
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:23,
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He's a klingon ent he, there's always morphine for pain relief, you can always put the pressure on for that that to be increased cos the old cunt 'looks in pain'(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:27,
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I've been squirrelling that away for my own personal use.That stuff is too good to waste on the dying.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:32,
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A small selection:Ainsley 'Ains' Harriott
James 'Jimmy' Nesbitt
Patrick Kielty
Bruce Dickinson from 'Iron Maiden'
Michael York (because his voice makes me feel sick)
Robin Williams
'singer/songwriters'
Woody Allen
Nigel Slater
I really could go on all day*
*'you usually do, LOL'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:13,
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I understand all these except Bruciebut I imagine he's 'fucking bent' or some such.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:14,
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He is one of the worst knob-ends of all time.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:16,
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Seems quite a nice bloke to me.is there some working behind this or do you just not like him?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:17,
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He's like the worst IT dept Colin Hunt LARPer ever.I have seen a number of interviews with him over the years and every time without fail he comes across like a fucking WOW player.
His records are shite as well, which doesn't help him.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:20,
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Right, OK, that makes sense.These are my kind of people.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:24,
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If only it were possible to rid the world of all singer/songwriters(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:14,
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Awful cunts, one and all.Joni Mitchell = rubbish
Joan Baez = Greek cunt
James Taylor = looks like a paedo
etc
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:16,
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It's not just the successful onesHave you ever been to an open mic night?
Jesus...
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:18,
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The PopeQuickly, humanly and above all anonymously, or in such a way as to cast suspicion on someone like Jerry Falwell. Yes, I know he's idea, so someone like him.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:13,
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Is that a spelling or a methodology question?Assuming the latter, yes. No matter what he may deserve, I won't torture, for my sake, rather than his.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:23,
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Not especially.there are just things I will not do.
*notices who the accusation came from*
You're one to fucking talk you folkie bastard. Speaking of which when/where are you playing next?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:27,
Reply)
*doffs fisherman's cap*Gigs are off the agenda at the moment due to child ruining all social activity.
Although there should be some kind of launch for our soon to be completed album, but that is likely to be midlands based.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:30,
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I will be trying to drag you along next time we venture your way, though.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:35,
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Always worth a go.I reckon there's an even chance I'll hate your music, but I'll stand you a pint anyway, unless I'm proper skint.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:39,
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Tell that to the Spanish Inquisition.I'm only joking.
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girlinthehole, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:26,
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They were a bunch of cunts, I am not.If I should want someone dead I'll do it quickly and cleanly, as I say, for my own benefit, not theirs. I'd cry not one tear if he died slowly and painfully.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:28,
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I'm chilled.Just being explanatory.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:34,
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Nope, raised Atheist thank fuckOr I probably would want to slowly murder the bastards.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:35,
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Had it, three times IIRCPretty sane these days.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:38,
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Not really, noJust think the world would be a better place without the catholic church in general and this pope in particular. There are more evil organisations but none I can think of with a further reach.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:44,
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Well it would fit with the general level of prudery, and the scouseness.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:50,
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Saints are different.Loads of people go on about Saints. I know about the saints cos of my Nana, who IS a Cathololic.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:52,
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and this is my problem how exactly? So's Amberl, she knows my views and we get on OK.Roota: I have nothing against you (other than the prudery, obv.) but the above opinion stands with no offence intended to individual believers.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:49,
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Fuckin ell you're a mardy serious cunt sometimesAnd I'm not a bleedin Catholic either.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:51,
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I'm really not sure where people keep getting this fromI'm just trying to answer honestly and factually.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:58,
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They keep getting it from you.You're seeming a bit weird, like you got bummed by a priest.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:01,
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no....I have a fairly strong dislike of organised religion, but this is not particularly unusual is it? I'm really not wound up or frothing, although people telling me I am is staring to annoy me a bit. Never mind, lunch break's over anyways.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
comrade quixote is the voice of reason here, i am going to subscribe to his internet(, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:54, Reply)
You may join the BPC if you likeComrade Blousie is Membership secretary.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:01,
Reply)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1495433(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
Terry PratchettDavid Bowie
Christopher Ecclestone (he really is a grade A pompous turd)
Craig Charles
'Rik' Mayall
Anyone who refers to 'film' actors or directors by their surnames
.....
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:15,
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It's all I can afford, Barteaux.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:23,
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Krishnan Gurumurthy is a massive prick, he should die for sure.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:26,
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Would it be easier for you to list the few who would survive this cull?Or are you finding this cathartic?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:27,
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I'm just warming up.I'd happily smash Paul Merton's face in with a claw hammer.
I'd also like to push Ken Livingstone down into a basement stairwell at a party, see how he likes it, the fucking wanker.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:28,
Reply)
I think you've got something there Lad*hugs Monty*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:30,
Reply)
Very True.I think we should all hug Monty whenever possible, until he's all happy and chilled, then he won't need the drugs.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:37,
Reply)
I have some spare he can have.The last bout of syphilis cleared up on it's own so I never used them.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:42,
Reply)
PILE ON!!!/flings self
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
*hugs harder**rubs groin against Monty*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:36,
Reply)
He's a worse name-dropper than I am and has a monumentally delusional idea of his own importance.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:30,
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He's a major newsreader on arguably the best news show in the countryhe's covered stories of international and historic importance around the world. He can be a bit smug.
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I preferred him on Newsround(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:37,
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I've just read his Wiki page.What a cunt.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:42,
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First time I've ever seen his name written down.I always assumed he was half Irish and hyphenated: Krishnan Guru-Murphy, the things you learn, eh?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:46,
Reply)
I wouldn't really want to murder anyoneAlmost everyone could die and I wouldn't bat an eyelid though.
Alt: Roasted garlic hoummus, chorizo and salad sandwich. Yummy.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:31,
Reply)
Alt: Mushroom, Quorn and red pepper KormaIt was tasty last night and true to form, is even better today.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:41,
Reply)
I had a quorn curry snackpot thing today.It was quite tasty.
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girlinthehole, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 13:49,
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I've go to the point where I don't need to use it to substitute for meat as I can cook fine with just vegBut I sometimes add it too add bulk or because I like the texture.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 14:00,
Reply)
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