sorry darth but you killed OT
how about a twist on the "alt".

serious question: this italian captain who abandoned ship. when pilots or captains help, they get called 'heroic'. this implies they did something tough. either they are just doing their job, so deserve no praise, or a guy who couldn't bring himself to endanger his life is to be understood. is he a complete cunt? would you have gone back on board?

silly question: weirdest place you ever had sex/weirdest person you ever had sex with?

food question: LUNCH?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 10:57, 104 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Threadstomper!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)

MINE HAS MORE QUESTIONS THAN YOURS :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I'll delete mine.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)

For the second time in as many days :P
We can handle two concurrent threads except for those of us who are BENT SPASTICS. Quick, post again and threadstomp the threadstomper!
( Kroney, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)

I no, rite?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's installment!

( Kroney, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)

I don't like concurrant threads it dilutes the board too much and they invariably pitter/peter/peeter out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Duly edited

( Kroney, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)

I wouldn't have left the ship in the first place
He's the captain, it's his job. He's a coward.

Back of a Greyhound-style bus between Halifax International airport and Antigonish university. It's ok, though, it was night. Everyone was asleep.
( Kroney, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:00, Reply)

I wasn't O_o

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Needs MOAR chloroform

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)

I'm inclined to agree with Kroney
It must have been fucking scary but this is the worst-case scenario he must have been aware of when he signed on. To then claim he was the last to leave the ship proves he knew he was wrong.

tl;dr - wanker

Food question - oh god yes please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Good morning Rswipe...

Answers as follows:

Captain = Cunt

Sex question = what is this 'sex' to which you refer? Whatever it is, it must happen to other people.

Lunch = WINE!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Are you lost?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I've been known to 'dabble' occasionally you know...

but thank you for noticing.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)

*waves*
Sex is that thing you dream of doing with me.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)

*waves back*

Oh, is that the thing with the thingie where you do thingie like those diagrams you did for me?

I am quite severly out of practice of those sort of cheeky shennanigans.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)

What a waste! *sighs*

( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I think it's against maritime law.
Certainly against his company's policy and procedures. I think he should go to the big house for it.

silly: Airplane lavatory. Churchyard. Beach.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)

He is a coward, a blaggard and a bastard
weirdest place, behind a cricket sight screen maybe.

Alt: too early for lunch, but I will be running
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Did you smash her for six?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)

<<Something about middle wicket>>

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Did she handle your googlies?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Did you pitch it up to her
to
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)

was she covering your fine leg?
Did you push it to her gully??
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)

I trust you avoided the follow-on

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)

That would have been funny if it had been during a game
and the batsman asked for the sightscreen to be moved revealing Nakers quivering buttocks as he podgered some local wench.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)

Serious Q: The Captain has to stay on the ship.
That's their job. I wouldn't have left in the first place. He is a fucking coward and should be flayed alive.

Having said that, when a captain does that he SHOULD be praised. The inverse of that of course is that captains who don't do it should be flayed alive.

Silly Q: In my back garden in the dark. All of the women I've had sex with have been weird. Problem is that I hadn't realised it at the time.....

Food Q: Yes please. Your shout.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Don't know about last to leave but definitely not fucking first.
Never had sex in a weird place : (

Lunch is rye bread and veggie pate.

Edit - Just remembered. Office on bosses chair with bosses son. Woo!
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Er... don't you work for your Dad?
Incestlols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)

This was years ago at another office.

( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)

I had to walk like John Wayne all the way home.

( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)

The 3:10 to Your Ma

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)

The Search-Hers

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)

The Magnificent Seven Inches.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)

True Grip

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Pale Ride-Her

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:44, Reply)

As someone tragic enough to be able to name all of the Magnificent Seven
I'm sorry to have to tell you that John Wayne was not among them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)

I was just going for westerns.
Was he in the original 3.10 to Yuma?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)

I think so
Bollocks, you've brought on a visit from Mr Self-Doubt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Nope. Glen Ford and Van Heflin.
You're my BITCH!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Paving the way for Forest aren't I
We've got the filth on the 4th, on telly as well. I might have to kill myself, or skip the country.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)

I sold my tickets for Saturday.
As you let me down so badly and are going fagging at BILLY ELLIOT.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Put yourself in my shoes
Would you pay money to see Forest play at the minute?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

No. I wouldn't.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:09, Reply)

obvious strikethrough is obvious
at the minute
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:20, Reply)

His real name is very similar to yours

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)

"Never had sex in a weird place"...

...yet ;)

The afternoon is young, petal.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Obvious answer is obvious
but for the sake of sensitivity I shan't direct it at the person who asked it.

Quentin's Mum's house. She's very, very sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I know you can't put a price on human life, but does anyone know what his wage is?
I mean, if he was like those american airline captains getting fuck-all, does his wage reflect the potential risk that comes with the job? Was there anything he could have done if he did go back when ordered?

It seriously wouldn't suprise me if whoever is above him was like "Stear the ship close, it's looks amazing, the punters love it.... get closer to the island, c'mon, it's not going to sink the ship ffs.... OH SHIT, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Silly: Donno, I guess nowhere. Did you really wank a guy off in that resturant where it's pitch-black?

Food: home made pizza.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)

I wouldn't be the captain of the ship because I am a massive coward, but he knew full well that he wasn't allowed to do what he did, so he's an even bigger coward.
Lying little cowardly shit.
I can't say.
Quorn chilli.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Weirdest: top floor of a multi-storey car park in Swindon (in a car), Eurotunnel train (wanted to join the mile under club), corn field (not that weird but a bloke in a microlight kept flying over us), in a hay barn (with someone who has hayfever), the toilets in a bar in Hong Kong.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Must have been weird jostling for room with a ping-pong ball

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)

HK was very tame - never saw anything like that there. Bangkok on the other hand...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)

The captain is a pussy
The coastguard phone call taking the piss out of him is excellent!

Silly Answer:
In a fucking freezing cold river in Wales. Not recommended

Food Answer:
I need to go and get some food. What though?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)

IN a freezing cold river?
How on earth did you keep your end up?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:35, Reply)

You can get these cockwarmers now
Some of them can cook but they invariably answer back
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:42, Reply)

LIke Darth says
Someone kept it warm for me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

I like to call them "sperm dumpsters"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Fill this up for me...

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)

i like how your all trying to assert your masculinity to hide your bum tendencies

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Witchcraft I tells ya!

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:53, Reply)

Eat have Chicken Laksa soup today.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:37, Reply)

reckon he's probably just a normal bloke who shat himself when he realised what he'd done
i had a wank in a sulo bin

meeting up with ms quinten in the pub at lunch, we haven't seen each other much this week cos her dad's ill :(

right, now i need to find a photo to gaz you....
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)

What's a sulo bin?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:40, Reply)

www.wheeliebinsperth.com/4wheelers.php
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Were YOU in the bin?
Or did you just aim your ejaculate into the bin?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:44, Reply)

i was in the bin pretending to be Dr Who

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)

What else was in the bin?
Did you get out covered in rotten veg and wet ciggies?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)

it was a new empty bin
they put them outside pubs now as public lavs
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

As public lavs? Who could aim a piss into one of those?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:51, Reply)

you just climb in and soil yourself, its the future

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)

in the warp reactor.
"where has me solu from start trexk been"
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

lol

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Oh man, that's terrible news.
I hope he dies soon so you can get her attention back. Old people are such needy cunts.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:43, Reply)

i no rite? the guys like 80 odd, he seriously needs to pop his clogs soon so i can get my hands on some inheritance

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)

You're so right Al.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:52, Reply)

If you're the captain of a ship
you must be aware that it could crash or sink and that you are responsible for the safety and thus evacuation of everyone on board. He's a cunt. FFS, if you sit on the emergency exit row on a plane they ask you to move if you're not willing to help in the event of something dire. He should have known better.

I had sex in my mini, once. I was more flexible back then.

ALT - broccoli, watercress and stilton soup.
(berk, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

A mini?
I've been inside bigger women.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)

I didn't say it was easy, or comfortable.

(berk, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Hahaha.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

in [and/or] with?
Lololilolol
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Well
Captain = Stupid cowardly cockrot.
Weirdest place to have sex = Coventry olympic swimming pool
Lunch = May well be with Pooflake but I have an interview at 3 so there can't be too much beer.

That is all
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Coventry has an olympic pool?
That must come in handy when bidding to host international sporting events.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:53, Reply)

haha

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

It really has
Although I'm pretty sure, in true Cov style, it is something like one metre too short.
The building it is in is shaped like an elephant too. No, really.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:36, Reply)

Coward, don't take the job if you're not willing to do it properly
No really weird places I'm afraid

A cup of hot chocolate. The diet has gone thanks to the cold weather.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)

If only Michael Gove followed your advice. AM I RITE PEOPLE!!!!!?????

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Bit of politics there, layzungennlmun.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)

I wouldn't presume to tell Mr Gove he should diet
even on the basis of our close familiarity and knowledge of each other
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:28, Reply)

think about it if you were in the captains position
sure you're in a position of authority, but it sounds like he and other captains had beend oing that grandstanding thing all the time, he just got unlucky and hit some rocks

suddenly realising that he's in deep shit, probably killed some people and caused millions of euros damage he ran away. fight or flight wannit?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Amberl would have been standing on the very front of the ships yelling "COME ON YOUR FUCKERS! SWIM! SWIM LIKE THE BITCHES YOU ARE! YOU DON'T NEED LIFE JACKETS! FUCKING SWIM YOU CUNTS!"

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)

might've been a bit nippy tho

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

She doesnt feel cold, her breasts keep it away from her.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:10, Reply)

explain "breasts"
I'm unfamiliar with the term, and with wikipedia down i'm reverting to cro-magnon levels of stupidity
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Hahahaha
"reverting"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:36, Reply)

Blubber insulation innit

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:27, Reply)

oh wait your the opne whose dead right?
no wonder you don't feel the cold
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Most people take jobs without being willing to do them properly.
He's been a shoddy captain for years and it's been allowed to pass. I'm afraid the buck stops further up the chain of British-American Carnival Corporation.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)

The CEO should have been counting the passengers off?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:10, Reply)

If you have an incompetent as captain of a £400 million pound vessel you really need to be off to that room of mirrors.
A number of stories circulating point to a dunce being given the keys.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:24, Reply)

He has said he tripped and fell into the life boat.
Surely a captain is qualified by international maritime bodies?

He looks like an idiot.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:32, Reply)

You have a point
Gazing round this IT department I can see a shit-load of folk who have promoted into jobs that they can't cope with.

However there is a difference between keeping a ship afloat and it's passengers safe, and keeping a website running.

The captain has to bear the brunt, but the idiots that felt him worthy of such a responsible position also have to get it right up 'em.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:20, Reply)

He was given the job because he had a hat with Captain written on it in crayon.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:38, Reply)