Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Whilst I apologise to the folks underneath for disgracefully 'diving in too early'...But I have just returned from lunchtime drinkies and have subsequently stumbled across a thought...
I think that 'pearosts' should not be allowed. If people weren't around when a story was first posted then that's their tough fuck. Yay or nay?
alt: favourite chocolate bar?
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:10,
244 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
You'd never be able to police it, though.The FAQs clearly state that it's not on to call someone a cunt, but that doesn't stop people from doing it.
Plus you'd be denying a lot of newbies past glories.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
Lorks, you're right...I guess I didn't think it through (and not for the first time)
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
i think calling them 'pearost's makes you a fucken poofand i wouldn't read any of the QOTW shite anyway
alt erm duno don't have one right now, maybe a dairy milk caramel
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Crikey, you've just reminded me of my schooldays...(i.e a cocking long time ago)
Tey used to have Dairy Milk Caramels in the vending machine at my school - but they were two.whole.pence. more expensive than 'Caramac's (sp?) that were sort of slim, half-toffee hybrids that were frankly shite.
I went for Caramacs everytime. I was as tight as a duck's arse swimming backwards even then.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
I couldn't given even the tiniest raisin-like nugget of a shit.My answer to both. Chocolate bars are bent (apart from the Texan Bar)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
Of all the things it is, it isn't poorer.There are none more poor than Monts.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
You are too kind – but sadly I’m off again for at least an hour(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
Texan bar high fives(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
I don't think anyone can muster the effort to care at allAlt: Gone off chocolate in general, but Lion bars for the nostalgia value
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
I had a Picnic the other day.It wasn't great.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
no, Dec in the potato saladhhahahahahahaha lol rofl i am well funney!
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)
That has gone so far through the wall of 'fucking awful' as to become brilliant again.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
Don't mention it. It is a pleasure to read the rectal bleedings of humour from such a Wildean mirthmeister like yourself.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:05, Reply)
It's a gift, I guess. They just trip off the tongue when it comes to you, sweetheart.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:07, Reply)
I have noticed you are quick with the weight based insults. Are you overcompensating for your own gourmand, porcine, self image inadequacies?
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:03, Reply)
i'm alright weight wise, got no neck thomakes it hard to see over fences :(
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Or brick walls? Is it cos you is well stocky or just that necks were not genetically available to you in light of your parentage?
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:06, Reply)
dunno, i think i have a neck, but fat desperate mess keeps saying i don't cos i asked her out for a joke by gaz(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:10, Reply)
oh wait just looked at the pic again, i'm stoopingpoor swipe can't even tell when people are stooping, silly fat desperate retarded mess
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Well watch your blood pressureWe're not worth it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
i don't know enough about you to defend myselfwith swipe its easy cos she comes across exactly as she is :(
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Poor old neckless!How do you cope with black tie do's?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
I DON'T LIKE BEING GANGED UP ONreporting fat desperate mess and shiny 'twat' knight to the mods for this, get yo ass naughty stepped
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:10, Reply)
What judge, simple? Have you had too much sugar this alvo and that's the reason you are being an odious little person?
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:16, Reply)
I'm not a judge yetGive it a couple more years...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
Maybe you get more stressed when you don't have a neck?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
jus stooping swipe, i'll post the picture here so everyone can see how stupid you are(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Or how ugly you are?Please think this through! Don't do it!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:28,
Reply)
Maybe if they just put a link to the original,rather than writing the whole thing out again.
Alt: I rather like the spots and stripes thing at the moment. It's a nice mix of milk and white chocolate.
I say 'at the moment', but I haven't had chocolate since new year.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
Nor me, not since Christmas No chocolate high fives.
I see cadburys now have one a bit like an aero but the inside is white, so like your spots and stripes but in bubblicious form!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
I just put an excellent reply to your 3 minute tape post on the other thread. It's brilliant.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:52, Reply)
No diet coke thoughI am not kicking that habit to take it back up!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
I limit myself to 3 cans a weekalthough the bastards in the canteen hospital now charge 80 sodding pee for one...
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:04, Reply)
I can't remember the last time I was charged 50p for a can of coke...(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Outside our subsidised restaurant in the city it is at least double(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
Did someone request a Fonz?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
I'm fucking loving my chocolate bars I picked up at Hotel Chocolate the other day.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:53,
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Gonz, do you happen to know where there is a Hotel Chocolate in London?I don't seem to remember anyone mentioning if there even is one...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
Although I was just being facetious to Gonz who keeps mentioning the Moorgate one,I actually didn't know there was one near Fenchurch Street, so that's handy to know.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
Oh man, there is one in Moorgate, which is really good because my train goes into moorgate so I can nip out, get some sophdeen from boots to go with the hotel chocolate chocolate bar and then onto work at the barbican.Or, if I'm going home from work, I can go to the barbican and then mooregate to go the boots and hotel chocolate chocolate bar retail unit and then the train at moorgate to where I live !
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
I noticed they do spreads, so if you wanna spread, I'll lay on some spread, and we'll both dirty up the bed.SMOOTHEST CHATUP LINE EVER.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
I'll double it up as one of our birthdays too, don't care which one, we both win.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:06,
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Alright Gonz. In these austere times you are on here bragging about £50 bars of chocolate? Is that appropriate?
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:55, Reply)
He's off his tits on methadone, though.Don't harsh the man's buzz.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
I like it when it gets to the point where I forget to breath.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:24,
Reply)
If you're having money problems I feel bad for ya' son, I got 99 problems but a cashflow ain't one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
Alright Gonzwww.facebook.com/pages/BarHumPug/248519075223175?ref=nf
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Sweet, I've liked it to check it out later =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Actually, you know what, scratch that, I just had a "Malteaster" bar, they're my fave.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
Gimme the facts, what's happening?I'm a bullying and harassment advisor innit.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:13,
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i've gazzed rob, he always does what i askwww.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1525064
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:14, Reply)
You should be honoured.Keep up the good work.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
you got some sort of personality disorder what makes you keep picken on my?(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:22, Reply)
No. You have the personality disorder.
It's like watching a schizophrenic argue with themselves.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:24, Reply)
don't stoop to their level by mocking those with mental health disabilities(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
oh right sozhere look at how handsome i am even when i'm stooping
www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/me.jpg
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:27, Reply)
PhwoarYou will never be gay enough for swipe though
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:28,
Reply)
well that confirms it, i'm off to take a long walk off a short cliff with some razors and rocks in my posketsand a rape around my neck
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:33, Reply)
if i had that kind of skill i would have shopped a prettier head :((, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:31, Reply)
probably am, been not careful with LQ for about 18 months and no shakes(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:42, Reply)
It looks like he's doing that Monty Python man thing(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
He's more normal than I thought Was my initial reaction. The second was, whoa, no neck!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
I'm more surprised that a bloke who claims to having a girlfriend appears to be wearing a wedding ring.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
Shut up shut upI know he's not real but I want him to be real
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
I also queried thisI mean, nobody would marry him. Therefore... SHOPPED!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:42,
Reply)
You are truly a stallion of a man. Were the other two midgets in panto?
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:29, Reply)
I well loves you Quinten. I am looking forward to seeing you in Bristol.
Where do you live because JTDF and I are going for a beer a week Saturday. In Wapping.
You are most welcome.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:58, Reply)
this sounds like a great idea!someone who has taken my internet so seriously he couldn't stop posting 'twat' at me and trying to insult me at every opportunity i would love to meet you!
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Yeah Stunned.Stop pickin on Quints question mark.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
Or he'll cry 96 Tears**Possibly need Monty here to appreciate that one.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
Has he got 96 eyes?I was quite distressed when they use that in an advert, can't remember what for though
EDIT: it was some shitty car and I think you guys mean a different song anyway: www.tvadmusic.co.uk/2011/11/nissan-qashqai-ultimate-urban-car/
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:28,
Reply)
I don't careI'm being reminded how awesome the proper version is. I dare evne monty to hate this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPOVmWzeqEo
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
You'll probably know the songI think someone covered it, but this is the one I meant: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgfnCTp3p7U
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
Erratum.Cramps: superb
Question Mark: superber
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:22,
Reply)
Oooooh you could delete everything you post that he replies to and then repost it?No? Not that sad?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:25,
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Nay, a well written post is worthy of being reposted.Alt: Probably Kitkat chunky, although I am also rather fond of Lion bars.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:29,
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People who use the word "pearoast" should all die.They should give themselves shallow cuts all over the abdomen then wrench open their arseholes and rub their own shit into their wounds until they fucking fester. Cunts.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
Repost=pearoast? There's no fucking "a" in repost! How can they be .......FFS.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:50, Reply)
It's the little green bits in Bombay Mix.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:05,
Reply)
Only three interesting things have ever happened to meI need the right to shoehorn those stories in whenever they're even vaguely related to the week's question.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:36,
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Lighty Meeting Jeff damn well should be.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
I don't think I've ever been funnier than when I met Lighty.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:01,
Reply)
Rumours of me touching him up are FALSE.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:12,
Reply)
I'm not sure anyone has been funnier than that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:17,
Reply)
Although I'd have felt bad if he'd got stabbed or shot.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:36,
Reply)
i accidentally pearoasted onewould I be up in court for it? There was about 6 years between posts, the first was largely ignored, the second time it was in teh newsletter.
alt: all of them. At once. Except turkish delight
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:13,
Reply)
You'd love a Turk to give you a bit of delight.That's why you have so many kebabs.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:14,
Reply)
it's the only interest I get on the dating site(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:16,
Reply)
When you next come to Bristol you should go on the pull at Jason's Donner Van.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:37,
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I like a man who smells of burnt grease(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:50,
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Silly CavyTurkish delight is pink jelly stuff, not chocolate.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:15,
Reply)
i mean the one in the pink wrapping covered in chocolateI was surprised to find I actually like proper turkish delight
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:16,
Reply)
ah, I see.Well, if you will worship false turkish delight idols.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:18,
Reply)
and you have wrecked tastebudsfrom smoking syringes full of LSD
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:24,
Reply)
Wait rose Does the most amazing Turkish delight. In a wooden box. Mmmmmmmm.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:23,
Reply)
delicious wooden boxes(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:25,
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It's all about eating the box.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:26,
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That's what she said(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:27,
Reply)
I'd have said it was perfectly normal....(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:55,
Reply)
I bought some from the Turks in Dalston.It was like plaster of paris with lumps of poo in it.
Never again. Baklava, however, I can stomach, but really, sweet food is gay anyway.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:26,
Reply)
I love BaklavaI have a proper sweet tooth and I get massive sugar rushes. The come-down's a bitch, though
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:28,
Reply)
I'll get shit sorted this evening and send you a text with the details.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:48,
Reply)
Nee bovver.I've got fuck all else to do this evening.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:51,
Reply)
I am most, most envious.Tonight I am suppoed to be going Yeti hunting.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:50,
Reply)
Do you have to look for his footprint in a massive pile of white powder?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:51,
Reply)
I have to look for a dead pill dealer and head north**story I shall tell you on 18th which will be dismissed as 'lies' on here
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:06,
Reply)
I have better beer and envy(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:51,
Reply)
He's waiting in the bedroom(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:48,
Reply)
I like the crap cadbury's stuff with chocolate all over it!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:47,
Reply)
Fry's is it not?They invented the chocolate bar, you know.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:48,
Reply)
True!There was a big Fry's factory in Bristol, it then became a Cadbury's factory.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:50,
Reply)
All the good stuff started in Bristol.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:52,
Reply)
I am gutted you don't rememberThat night. Although I did well drug you an' shit.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:01, Reply)
Meh.I might bring you some cider next week.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:03,
Reply)
It coincided with your mum doing her UK tour.Apparently Bristol was the last night of the 60 nights.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:58,
Reply)
Spring Tour of West Country shitholes. Well! That's what the t-shirts said.
(, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:02, Reply)
It was your mums shit hole that got explored.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:03,
Reply)
If I can get some Farmhouse cider by the 18th, do you want some?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:09,
Reply)
It isn't suitable for vegitarians.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:12,
Reply)
That's how you can tell it's real cider.The bits of mouse floating in it.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:13,
Reply)
Me and cheese don't really get on.but I did see them making cheddar at the official Cheddar Gorge Company.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 18:11,
Reply)
Full of eastern promisewww.youtube.com/watch?v=rLnuI25JSTE
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:50,
Reply)
Thet have surprise value, too.As not many shops stock them, when you see one on the shelf, it's great.
(
The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 17:55,
Reply)
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