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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Yeah boyee. New thread tiiiiiimeee.
1. What excites you?

2. What repulses you?

3. What are you fucking staring at?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:20, 177 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Your mum. Your mum. Your mum.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:22, Reply)
What's she doing*?

*please read this in the style of TV's Roy Walker. Thank you.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Say what you see
"Roy, she is clearly wanking off a cat"
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:24, Reply)
'err...catwank? Wanking cat? Pussy wanking...?'


'RIIIIIIIIGHHHHTTTTT!!!!'
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:28, Reply)
You've pissed on his (Mr) Chips

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Too much licking, not enough sucking, for my liking.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 18:02, Reply)
hahahaha!
Best YM response for a while
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Mine was textbook this morning.
Apparently.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Dr shambolic
dr shambolic
dr shambolic
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:23, Reply)
You knows it.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:28, Reply)
1: Standard geeky shit, science and dat
2: Fat people
3: A jug, which is empty, I should get some water.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:24, Reply)
I like jugs

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:25, Reply)
I like pears
(not true, they are just gay apples)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:26, Reply)
They're alright, not going to hark on about it though.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I just watched a youtube video on supercooled water
My mind is now slightly broken
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I read an article about 3D printing of a jaw earlier.
It was made of titanium. I want a titanium jaw :(
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:28, Reply)
That was on the BBC site a few days ago
Fucking clever stuff
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Was the article illustrated by a picture of Jaws from James Bond?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:29, Reply)
If I was an BBC online editor it would have been.
But it wasn't the pricks.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:30, Reply)
They appeared to have been drinking this morning
The headline for the Sunderland game referred to Boro winning and they had "LOndon" in another
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:31, Reply)
They're a bunch of hippies probably smacked out on reefer in their wig-wam offices.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I like. big. Jugs, and I can not lie. You other brother's can't denny.
When a thurst creeps in and you want some juice with your gin, it's time to get drunk for the win.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:43, Reply)
1. Very little
2. Red apples
3. Half a cup of coffee
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:25, Reply)
3. The Only Way is Essex on ITV Player.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:25, Reply)
In God's name why man?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I like it.
I say like, it passes the time. There are a large amount of people on the show that wind me up beyond words though. I'd happily kill a lot of them.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Mark Wright first clearly
and then Mario(?)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:33, Reply)
There was a young one on 8 out of 10 Cats a while ago
Joey? Fuck me was he dumb. I think he logs on here as Naked_Ape
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Disturbingly still not quite as thick as Amy Childs
though he did once claim to be into politics, though he couldn't name the Prime Minister. Definitely Naked Ape
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Lydia need to die. She's a pie faced idiot.
And Lauren G, I would actually throw her off a bridge. Mario's a knobhead, yeah.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:36, Reply)
*shakes head*
Oh Barry, why?!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I ask the questions here.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Haven't seen that in ages

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:29, Reply)
1. Nothing much.
2. Your face naturally

3. Generation Kill
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:29, Reply)
I like that
Generation kill, not montys face obviously.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:29, Reply)
It's excellent but oddly I'm having difficulty with the names
Brad and Nate are the only ones I can tell apart some of the time
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:32, Reply)
It's the helmets I think.
Thats why they take them off all the time, even though you probably wouldn't do that in war.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:33, Reply)
It makes it a bit hard to follow
still good though, much better than Justified
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:34, Reply)
I quite liked Justified
but yeah, GK is a different league.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:39, Reply)

1. Hometime
2. work
3. The clock
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:31, Reply)
i wouldn't say anything excites me really, but i am interested in space and taht
i do find fat people repulsive too, and also small rodents

3 i've been staring at malc a bit today, he's very ahndsome
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Also this
imgur.com/gallery/dF00m
stolen from an ex b3tan alwayz in r haertz
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:31, Reply)
This is good

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Really?
I was about to say that it was Chompy's shittest post of all time. By quite a long way.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I meant the pic
His post was shite
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:36, Reply)
such terrible bullying.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Lab is still around sometimes, isn't he?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:50, Reply)
Love it.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:09, Reply)
The popular page is fucked.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Your mum's arsehole is the popular page?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:35, Reply)
AT LEAST SHE'S NOT GAY!

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I know she's not - the MK rugby team told me as much.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Meet up with them often?
Or do you just ring them for "a chat"
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:41, Reply)
I know them quite well,
we pass each other on the way/in out of your mum's all the time.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Funny shaped balls lolz

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:59, Reply)
It seems to be travelling in time

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:35, Reply)
All of my posts should be on there but never are, so I'm boycotting that motherfucker

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:36, Reply)
i'm clicking this post cos i want to make all your dreams come true

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:39, Reply)
I totally topped talk and off topic populols a few weeks ago, I can always think of that during my afternoon little cry

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:40, Reply)
i'm clikcing this too

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:41, Reply)
(o/

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:42, Reply)
i'm not gonna click this one cos i dunno what it is

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:43, Reply)
Why would this place have a popular page?
What the fuck is that for? What the fuck is this place for? Who the fuck are you people? What the fuck? Just what the fuck? Fuck.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:39, Reply)
and i'm clicking this

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:41, Reply)
I'm clicking yours for balance.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:43, Reply)
clicking back

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I've created a dozen spoof accounts and scripted them to click on everything you ever say anywhere ever.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:44, Reply)
that'll explain why the pp is so quinten heavy
i never knew before (oh and also clikcing that)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Call swipey fat again
That always seems to guarantee you a place on the popular page
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:55, Reply)
i wonder if editing my posts here worsks? i hope so
i could put anything in here really couldn't i?? in that case, set your faces to stunned is a cock
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:56, Reply)
actually hold up
all the swipesults are gone from the pp, m aybe the mods took them out?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Tuesday.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:43, Reply)
not clicking this

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I should fucking hope not
it was weak at best.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:45, Reply)
i didn't get it, was it a joke?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:46, Reply)
not in the traditional sense of being in any way funny, no.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:46, Reply)
oh ok, i was hoping for an explanation but its jsut like you to not go around helping others cos your a prick

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:48, Reply)
Why would you want an explanation of that?
it's meaningless.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:50, Reply)
I NEED TO KNOW

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:53, Reply)
GARY

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:55, Reply)
yea wot?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:56, Reply)
I need some help with my sales

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:59, Reply)
whats up man? have the girls not given you good leads?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:00, Reply)
I can't stop thinking about Sasha
and you being ball deep in her quivering quim
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:02, Reply)
oh gosh

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:05, Reply)

1. Video games, speed, big cats, the thrill of the chase, applying to the Olympics.

2. Morbidly obese people. Retards. The seabead. Celery.

3. My lovely new webcam for Skype'ing colleagues. I've refused to use it and taken a picture of me eating an apple. JOY.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:37, Reply)
By did the beach blush?
Bebause the seabead
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:48, Reply)
1. Getting to shout at the telly when Masterchef is on.
2. When I go into a ladies toilet and can smell someone elses vagina. This happens a fair bit in the gym.

3. The empty beer can infront of me.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:38, Reply)
I can't fucking stand Masterchef
duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
/my impression of the "music"
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:40, Reply)
I like giving them all names.
Shit tart bird, wrong fish girl, crying fatty.

I love how dramatic it is and I love Greg 'I've just got a mouthful of sweet fragrant oaty fishcake' Wallace.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Kevin loooks just like him!
except much shorter
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:43, Reply)
NO I DON@T

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:49, Reply)
yes he does and he admits it but he thinks he looks more like a foreign football manager i don't know the name of

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Aren't they all crying fatties?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:44, Reply)
They're mostly cunts
I saw if for the first time last night. Fair dos, some of them can certainly cook, but I'd hate to have to hold a conversation with them.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:46, Reply)
That's precisely how your wife describes you.
As I do her over the kitchen table.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:57, Reply)
What, that she saw it for the first time last night?
That's a bit rough, Monts.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:59, Reply)
She's a bit rough, Krones.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:15, Reply)
ZING.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:11, Reply)
Does Wallace go to the same gym as you, then?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Lusty does not go to Chariots in Shoreditch, no.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Shows what you know.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Ever since the article about Greg Wallace in the Daily Mash, I simply cannot see him without either borking, or laughing

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:56, Reply)
My old boss used to work with him.
Apparently he was disgusting, would try to shag anything that moved and stuck his tongue out like he was pretending to lick a fanny whenever a woman he thought was attractive walked past.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Your old boss at Chariots?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Is it always the same vagina?
You should tell them not to leave it lying around like that.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:44, Reply)
oh god i just read her number 2
thats horrible!

but going into the mens and hearing other men farting and shitting is pretty bad too, especially when you can tell their obese
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:45, Reply)
I don't think it's the same one.
I'm not a fanny sniffing expert :(
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:46, Reply)
No but I think you might be on your way to journeyman status.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:49, Reply)

This woman is
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Afternoon Lusty
Do you advocate the use of celery salt in Bloody Marys?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:51, Reply)
I know that a lot of people think it's the only way to make it a classic.
However, I don't think it's necessary and I've made plenty a delicious one without it.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:55, Reply)
I wasn't sure of that, just wanted to ask after Monty was quite furiously against the idea of having celery with it

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:58, Reply)
I don't like celery as decoration as I'm not a fan of it.
Celery salt I don't have too much of a problem with as it goes well with the lemon in a Bloody Mary. But nah it's not necessary and not how I would prefer to make one.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Ahh, fair enough
I'm still yet to have one tbh!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:02, Reply)
They are the best hangover cure.
I love them.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:07, Reply)
Plus celery is shit and for cunts.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:59, Reply)
it'd probably go soggy if you left it up there too long

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:01, Reply)
A dash of port is always an excellent idea to add some depth to a Bloody Mary
or using fresh basil and cucumber for a summer morning version.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Tell em about your cucumber what sit.
Go on.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Weirdest crisp flavour of all time.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:08, Reply)
British Mojito.
I've mentioned it on here before. Ohhhh I would love one of those right now.

I really love G&Tea at the moment. Gin, elderflower, lemon and cold English Breakfast tea topped up with tonic. It's far tastier than it sounds.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:11, Reply)
what she sat on a cucumber?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:13, Reply)
It's certainly the size of one.
And green. And knobbly.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:14, Reply)

1.
2.
3. despair
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:45, Reply)
1) Currently, the gigs I've got coming up
2) The despatch/dispatch/despach/despich/despathc manager that works here. That's a reference to her spelling, not mine.

3) You, ya faakin' pansy.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:48, Reply)

1. Erotica.

2. Herotica.

3. Your mothers sweaty mott.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:50, Reply)
1. The fact that I've managed to sneak out to the pub.
2. The other people in the pub.
3. The barmaid.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I has beer too.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:05, Reply)
It's good
It makes chavvy barmaids look more attractive.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:10, Reply)
1) Singing
2) Pigeons with gammy feet
3) Flats to let in Edinburgh
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 16:58, Reply)
i'd like to see some singing pigeons with gammy feet
i bet they could do the chacha slide
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Remember Goodfeathers?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:01, Reply)
YEEAH!
they had a girlfriend called sasha!
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:02, Reply)
not as good as rita and runt tho

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:07, Reply)
oh i dunno...

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:08, Reply)
goodfeathers was great, but runt was rain man in dog form
you can't beat that
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:10, Reply)
What about the pinky and the brain brain brain brain

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:12, Reply)
your just goin for the obvious
what about good idea bad idea eh?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:12, Reply)
fuck off I used to watch it in Spanish on TVE
THAT'S HOW COMMITTED I WAS
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:15, Reply)
why did you do that?
you know speaka di english?
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:15, Reply)
I was doing Spanish so it helped me and I liked the programme

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:17, Reply)
hola!

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:21, Reply)
ow do

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:23, Reply)
bien cómo son

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:27, Reply)
sasha:(

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:08, Reply)
he proper had a soft spot for her

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:09, Reply)
and a hard one too
fnarr
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:10, Reply)
1. The text I just got off dream girl excites me.
Happy as Larry's even more upbeat friend Rob.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:13, Reply)
dream girl from home or north-east dream girl?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Home.
North East one was just something I got caught up in because she said she fancied me when we were out last week. Plus she's 23.
(I'm still going to message her because I'm a cunt).
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:24, Reply)
oh dear i was just speaking to my mate whose ex filth
he saw a lot of dead bodies, one guy killed himself by wrapping himself in copper wires, attaching it to a timer and plugging himself into the wall

he wasn't found for over a month, and was shocked at 1pm every day for that time
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:15, Reply)
would he have died straight away though?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:16, Reply)
yeah
but covered in burns and maggots and flies when they found him
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:16, Reply)
I saw a dead rat floating in a bin of water the other day

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:17, Reply)
another guy he saw had an asphixywank
and his balls had swollen up to the size of boules
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:20, Reply)
boules
god
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:24, Reply)
no not god, boules
god's pretty big
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:26, Reply)
BIT LIKE THE DEAD BLOKE!!!!!!

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:16, Reply)
i meant the dead bloke
I MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:17, Reply)
I THOUGHT YOU MEANT YOUR MATE WAS SHOCKED.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:21, Reply)
HE PROBABLY WAS BUT I MEANT THE DEAD MAN
FOR FUCKS SAKE
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:22, Reply)
I REALLY AM A FUCKEN PRICK EH?

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:31, Reply)
1 holidays
2 gaping personality flaws like hypocrisy or shallowness. also dreadful clothes.

3 the screen. clearly.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:29, Reply)

Beer
No beer
My pint.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:55, Reply)

a simple man from a simpler time.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 18:00, Reply)
^ A gay man from a gayer time.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 18:05, Reply)
I'm reasonably happy today thanks.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 18:07, Reply)

Gizmos and gadgets, such as apple products and video game consoles, good food, lovely opiates, pretty women who put out, ugly women who put out, seeing friends, making something amazing technology wise, some movies and tv shows, dogs, lots of stuff.

People who are tight or mean, people who are violent or have predijustes, The Real Housewives Of Orange County, things to do with eyeballs and needles.

Your pint, wanna do something about it? AND WHAT? AND WHAT? Thought so.
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:58, Reply)

1.Concert/gig tickets. Shiny new geek toys. Footballs.
2. Brown people.
3. BREASTS (My own)
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 17:59, Reply)
Racist.

(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 18:04, Reply)

It's my new 'thing'
(, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 18:04, Reply)

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