Right, that thread's going no where.
So let's try another one that won't do any better.

I've recently been looking into meditation, self hypnosis and stuff like that to help me relax and sleep.

How do you relax?

Alt: do you have trouble sleeping or are you one of those annoying cunts who's out when their head hit's the pillow?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:23, 81 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

BOOZE.
The answer is BOOZE.

Alt: I've spent enough time over the last few weeks fulfilling the "headless chicken" simile that I do tend to conk out within minutes of deciding to go to sleep. And I still wake up feeling knackered.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:28, Reply)

i tried drinking myself to sleep the other night and had the most sickeningly detailed nightmares i've ever had
i was punching people to death in the neck :((((((
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:30, Reply)

Good lord, what were you drinking?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:30, Reply)

some old whisky

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)

with LSD in it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:33, Reply)

no but i think it was that cheap horrible Grants stuff

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:34, Reply)

fuck. That's on the list of things not to drink then.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:35, Reply)

for real
i only just realised who i was talking too, prickname
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:39, Reply)

why am i too late to point out this is clearly due to jealousy
over not having a neck of your own?

stupid work.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Oddly I am the other way round.
I suffered from chronic insomnia when I drank, but since I quit I've barely had a sleepless night.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)

balance innit.
too much booze is bad. Too much sober is bad, unless booze is worse.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Agreed.
Unfortunately it's not a balance that can be restored once it's gone too far the wrong way. It then becomes all or nothing.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:38, Reply)

i rarely sleep in the same bed more than 2 nights in a row, it plays havoc with me sleeping :'(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:29, Reply)

this is because you is a stud, innit?
We can't all be so lucky.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:31, Reply)

nope just my bed, which is dead hard
my girlfriends bed which is dead soft
and the sofabed at my mates which has really hard springs
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Why don't you just fly back to your house every night in your helicopter?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:37, Reply)

Helipetrol's pretty expensive
I AIN'T MADE O MONEY
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I agree with Crow, booze is the answer.
Alt: I usually can fall asleep quite easily, but I wake up in the middle of the night most of the time, which is annoying.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)

I do this.
I went off nicely last night about 11, a couple of drinks and a sleeping pill helped. But then I awoke a 5:30 and never quite got off again, very frustrating.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:42, Reply)

this whole username thing
is leading me to be confused as to what I have written and what I haven't
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:15, Reply)

Me too. I think I may demote myself.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:21, Reply)

booze and dangerwanks
to both parts.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:32, Reply)

I take some massive drugs then kick an unconsious woman.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Steady, you're projecting Edenmonster there.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:37, Reply)

It's all fun and games though, isn't it?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:37, Reply)

until somebody loses a bollock.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:38, Reply)

I don't know about lose a bollock, but I'm in danger of losing my rag over there on the main QOTW today.
I think I need to step away for a bit before I start TAKING THE INTERNET SERIOUSLY!!!!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:01, Reply)

WHO THE FUCK HAS UPSET YOU SCARPE!
LET ME AT THE CUNTS!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:02, Reply)

ALL OFF 'EM CHOMPS!
THEY ARE ALL FUCKEN PRICKS!!!

Except the ones that aren't.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Chill out scarpo

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Go over there and Rory 'em, Rory, they are deserving of it...
(Actually, I am beginning to suspect I have been trolled, I don't think whatsisface can actually believe that deliberately stopping so a child runs head first into your shopping basked it the same thing as a car driving into a tree...)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:07, Reply)

no. no, I suspect you haven't
unfortunately.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Oh how depressing. I'd almost rather I had.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:09, Reply)

yes.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:09, Reply)

oh boy

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:06, Reply)

It's not fucking Quantem Leap, you know...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:08, Reply)

oh right, its just i thought maybe Quinten Beckett had leapt into your body for a minute

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Quintem Leap.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:10, Reply)

With Superfly Al.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:12, Reply)

I do like a nice cigar.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:14, Reply)

And Bridgette Nielsen shot me in the head once.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I'd watch it.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:15, Reply)

i want to make this please

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:49, Reply)

I've given up over there
it's not even worth it for the lols any more. There's too many actual proper fuckwits.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:07, Reply)

you know what you were saying about irony....?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:09, Reply)

yes?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:09, Reply)

well i stand corrected, you do have an understanding of irony after all

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:10, Reply)

I don't understand irony, ironically.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:12, Reply)

you could probably at least cop a feel of that Alannis then.
common ground and that
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:13, Reply)

That was a very deep joke you probably didn't get
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_irony
or maybe you did, and you're trying to make me look stupid.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:27, Reply)

it's a Friday afternoon, Chompy.
if I were you I'd plump for option c) that I had half an idea but thought I'd try a low-rent Morrisette gag anyway.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Booze and Nitrazepam.
And MD's obviously.

I used to have massive insomnia, now as I have aged I seem to get off to sleep no worries but wake at sparrows fart and cant get back off to sleep
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Hey look it's like a "horrible person" exchange program
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17076942
(PsychoChomp, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Not very kind
I'm sure Abu has some good points.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:11, Reply)

The booze balancing act
Need to have enough to chill and be able to sleep without having "beer sleep" which is more like a coma
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:01, Reply)

I don't
I'm not really a relaxing kind of person.

alt: I am terrible at sleeping, takes me ages. Any light or sound wake me up. I've taken to wearing an eyemask especially now there's a streetlight outside my window
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:05, Reply)

street
red
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:08, Reply)

if there was
do you think I'd be complaining about my lack of 'action' for the last hundred years?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:12, Reply)

honestly?
Yes, i do
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:48, Reply)

I like hitting stuff with sticks
Occasionally I'll beat a cardboard box with a broom, or a dog with a belt.

Then I drink.

Since finding out about sleep cycles, I use this to tell me when I go to bed. It actually works too. sleepyti.me/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:11, Reply)

interesting, I shall give it a go.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:13, Reply)

get a glowing stick! www.ultrasabers.com
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:14, Reply)

hmm for my work waking up time
it tells me to fall asleep about when I usually go to bed. Oddly, I'm doing it right
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:14, Reply)

I will sleep fine tonight as I have a room in a castle full of booze
Including whiskers that are decades old and it's all free...oh and I'm pissed already!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:12, Reply)

you're drinking old cats?
you monster.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:13, Reply)

Autocorrect...
Although there is a stuffed wild cat in the library!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Why, what did you feed it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:21, Reply)

Read, go to the gym, play with lightsabers or make lego.
Alt: I read in bed so fall asleep with the light on then wake up for a wee about 5am.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:16, Reply)

For many years now I have quickly slipped into peaceful slumber
By picturing George Bush in the crosshairs of a high-powered rifle. Works every time.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:34, Reply)

I have always sworn by having a joint.
Not allowed anymore though :(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Haha, Derek Chisora is going to get destroyed tomorrow night.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Serves him right.
Anyone that thinks it would be Wakilarious for a boxer to walk out to the Only Fools & Horses song deserves to get beaten to a pulp.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Have you heard what the fuckwit has done this afternoon?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:50, Reply)

No, what now?
Asked if he can leave the ring to the Dad's Army theme?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Slapped Klitschko in the face

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:53, Reply)

hahahahah!
oh fuck, he's dead, isn't he?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:54, Reply)

The response is almost chilling
"What can you expect from a guy who hits his girlfriend?" he said. "I'm glad he has agreed to fight a man again."

Klitschko is going to murder him, I think.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I think it's going to be a good fight.
I reckon Chisora will actually go for it, he may well not win, but I reckon it'll be good to watch.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I'm assuming it's on Pay Per View?
I don't know why I am asking you, I could just go check I suppose.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Probably
I'll be landing in Sydney about when it starts, so I'll probably miss it all.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:11, Reply)

unless i'm drunk i'm a dreadfully light sleeper
anything wakes me up and keeps me awake.

unless i'm in a seminar or meeting full of important people. then for some reason my brain decides it's in a lovely white four poster bed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:01, Reply)