Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning shitcunt shutins.Is this the worst ever response to a QOTW?
b3ta.com/questions/randomactsofevil/post1537114#answers-post-1537133
Alt: NHS reforms - right or wrong?
Alt alt: Make your own up. Do you expect me to do everything for you?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 8:23,
173 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
What are you on about?That is a cool story. Can't wait to hear more...
Alt: I'm pretty sure responses to this question will depend on whether you own a private healthcare company, in which case you are likely to be for them; or the rest of the world, who can see quite clearly that they are nonsense.
Alt alt: Yes.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 8:48,
Reply)
There have been many worse than that, I'm sureAlt: I won't even pretend I know enough to comment fully.
Alt Alt: Marmite on toast
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 8:48,
Reply)
Alt: I can't say whether the proposed reforms are a good idea but surely reforms of some kind are badly needed?It makes me laugh: years of complaining about excessive red tape, mismanagement etc etc by all and sundry within the NHS, but as soon as someone actually tries to make changes, suddenly the old ways are great and shouldn’t be touched. Reminds me of my brother who has bored me to tears for a decade by moaning about how badly-run his firm is. As soon as they got taken over and the new lot started to cut away the dead flesh and review their working practices, he didn’t like it and whinged about that instead.
Basically I think everyone, everywhere* should fucking shut up about everything – and also fuck off.
*apart from me
PS I thinking recruiting nursing staff en masse and seemingly exclusively from what appear to be the bluntest, rudest corners of Africa might not be the best idea ever. Why can't we get them from somewhere nice?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
Best reply so far to Treeki's QOTW goes to you. I will update the scores later today. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
korma korma korma korma korma chameleon(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
Madras, madras, they call it madras. Madras, madras, they call it madras(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)
cause nothing compares, nothing compares aloo.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
when there's something strange in your neighbourhood, Bhuna gonna call?GHOSTBUSTERS
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:40, Reply)
it's just another dhal for you and me in paradise.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:49,
Reply)
i don't feel like dhansak, no sir no dhanksak todaycome on and take a chance and we can all be gay (or however it goes)
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:51, Reply)
VINDALOOOOOOOOOOOOO, VINDALOOOOOOOOOOOOO, VINDALOO VINDALOO NAH NAH*misses the point. Again.*
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
C-Bitch has fallen for Dopey-aza(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:42,
Reply)
it's that Eminem chappy(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:53,
Reply)
BabyTarka 'nother little piece of my heart now baby
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:00,
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This weeks QOTW is great.Me and a couple of other /talkers managed to get one post removed and the number of accords has been high.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 8:58,
Reply)
I prefer to think of it as my poo regulator.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:03,
Reply)
For most people when they need to go they're "touching cotton". For you it's "touching tumour".(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:04,
Reply)
some dizzy bint posting about her boyfriend.He was on a night out and she got well jel and gave him a piece of her mind as he was dancing with chicks and that.
They broken up a few weeks before. Fuckin bunny boiler.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
by removed I mean deleted by the pathetic waste of internets space.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Has Edenmonster's story disappeared as well?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:09,
Reply)
has it?LOLZ more internets fail.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
nah, still there.b3ta.com/questions/randomactsofevil/post1534009?highlight=answers-post-1534096
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
From the man who brought you kicked in the ribs.Accord productions is proud to present: I tried to fuck my own mum
b3ta.com/questions/horriblesights/post83112
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
Just when you think things can't get any worse...(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
What I never understand is why some folks share this stuff.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
Or this:b3ta.com/questions/worstsex/post82160
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:23,
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Are you reading this lot ladies?He seems like quite the catch.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
Kill me now. I can't cope with any more.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:25,
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I like the bit where he's upset because the chickboy was ugly.If it was a stunner then that would have been cool.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
I wouldn't even sling it up lady gaga.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:57,
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she sticks her cock in your face and strokes your hair with a lemon.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
then she says "I wanna p-p-p p-p-p-poke your face"(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:09,
Reply)
Oh yeah, silly meSomeone ought to sharpen a pencil over his head.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:16,
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Or hold a grudge for 40 years.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
Steady on, there's no need for anything quite so barbaric(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
I may have nightmares tonight.Can you imagine? Felling something land in your hair....
No I can't! I'm going to be sick.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
In reply to your question,it's not your best post ever but there are worse out there so don't beat yourself up about it OK?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
Pass me the industrial strength tape, you've made my sides split and I need to put them back together.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
noright
what day is it today? is it tuesday? what are we meant to be doing today? i had a question i was gonna ask but i forgot
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:39, Reply)
i have been enjoying the edenmonster commentsthere's some sad fuckers out there
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
just because i wouldn't touch you with someone else's foofnot even a rancid stinking leper's twat, does not mean you have to be bitter, neckless dear.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
aw i wasn't bitter, sweetness(I got some last night, twice in fact, not if you don't mind i'm busy writing about it in my journal)
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)
is there a lock on your journal?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
big tooth on there face makes it easy for them to fend off baddies(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)
do you need to empty out your dream catcher every morning?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
i don't think you understand dreamcatches, i empty it into my brain before bed at 8 at night(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)
my nonno was interned on the isle of man during the war.There was an old maths professor there who was a bit eccentic, he used to sleep with his feet in a chest of drawers. The reason he gave for this was: "so my thoughts don't escape while I sleep"
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:07,
Reply)
Doves as in the band?OK, they're not to everyone's taste but they're hardly worth kicking some poor, random bitch in the ribs over. They used to be SubSub, you know.
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Kroney, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
Subsub's 'Space Face' is one of the best dance records ever made.FACT-BOMB!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:11,
Reply)
Funnily* enough'5,6,7,8' by Shut Up and Dance genuinely is.
*not funnily at all
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
That doesn't excuse the dreary toss that Doves put out, though.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:23,
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I'd say it does, to a certain extent.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
Kroney is now leading the replies. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 9:47,
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alt: in Chompy's absenceI will point out that the NHS non-patient spend e.g. admin, overheads etc is about half as much as BUPA. Let's get some of those private sector efficiencies in there pronto!
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
That's a cracking post. You'll never forget it. Alt: I think the NHS needs reforming but I am not sure giving the purse strings to GP's is the best way. I mean, you've been to your GP. Imagine any of those bitches on reception getting anymore power?
Private healthcare companies are insurance based originally and this makes them all robbing cunts.
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Is there a GP surgery anywhere in this country that doesn't have unpleasant middle-aged women receptionists making life harder?Also, aren't you some sort of insurance-based robbing cunt?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:22,
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The receptionists at my surgery are all lovely(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:26,
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Mine has young Asian chaps on the front desk.Unfortunately their grasp on the language of this fair and wondrous isle can only be described as 'tenuous as best'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
Oh yes, my Asians are.But that's because I whip them regularly if they start slacking. Naturally lazy, you see.
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Kroney, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:31,
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It's all "hakki-takki me so tired meesa Kloney" thisand "hakki-takki basic human lights" that.
Good dose of the bullwhip. It's the only way. Those fake Louis Vuitton handbags won't stitch themselves.
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Kroney, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
You've had about ten clicks off me today.I suggest you get to the clinic asap.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:40,
Reply)
I have been described as "acerbic" before nowCan you believe that? How rude.
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Kroney, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:49,
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I'm gonna sign off the hollywood rights to this one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:22,
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'ning gonz.how's tricks?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
Not bad thanks.I took a tablet that I don't usually take yesterday, it's one I only get every couple of months when I get a bit wobbly-bob. It had some uber-effect 'cus last night I remember opening my eyes from falling asleep during hollyoaks, then I remember a call from my mum telling me to get an early night, then I remember doing my teeth, and then nothing 'till about 9 this morning when I woke up.
I think I slept from about 8ish 'till 9 the next day, 13 hours. Musta needed it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:30,
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if you feel better for it then yeah, you probably did.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
Much beter thanks =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:35,
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Jack Black would be great in the film, Gonz. Because he's shit and all. (, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)
I think it should be with Robin Williams playing a phsycologist trying to get the whole story out of a disturbed Kevin Spacey.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:32,
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No reply from my camerman chum.I will be finding out if I've got his current number.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:25,
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Sweet ! I think it'll all work in general without him if need-be.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:34,
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Movie Voice Man: In a world with regret.
*Sound of kids playing* The screen fades from black to kids playing in a playground, with a deep 'inception' style sound (a single low note on a chellow)... and to black again.
Movie Voice Man: In a time of innocence distroyed.
*Sound of kids playing* The screen fades from black to a kid at a breakfast table saying "Mummy, I love you". (a single low note on a chellow)... and to black again.
Movie Voice Man: In a classroom of remorse.
*Sound of kids playing* The screen fades from black to a close up of a pencil. (a single low note on a chellow)... and to black again.
Movie Voice Man: On that one faitfull day.
*Sound of kids playing* The screen fades from black to a close up of door slamming "I HATE YOU MUMMY". (a single low note on a chellow)... and to black again.
Movie Voice Man: A boy....
*Sound of kids playing* The screen fades from black to the back of a girl's golden hair in a classroom. (a single low note on a chellow)... and to black again.
Movie Voice Man: will have vengance.
*Sound of kids playing* The screen fades from black to a pencil going into a pencil sharpener. (a single low note on a chellow)... and to black again.
Movie Voice Man: Coming to a cinema near you soon.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
This urgently needs to go into the replies of the actual post.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
Battered, I got a pheasent, how do I make it pleasent? Whatchya recomend I do with it?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:48,
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Question is open to the whole floor.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:48,
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It's got to be either quick pan fry and in the oven for 4 minutes in piecesor long and low in the oven.
They will take on most flavours well. I like thyme, red wine, small onions and mushrooms with them.
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:51, Reply)
0o0o0oh, like a cock-o-vin ?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
You're suggesting something related to cock.This doesn't surprise me.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:06,
Reply)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
Set it free?/vegetarian
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:51,
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
Same thing, innit?The only rights animals have is to be tasty
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
The Legless Defence:I knew this post would garner a response from the real MEN of offtopic.
Cheers.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:59,
Reply)
cover skin in butter, salt and pepper. Roast.Make game chips. Make marsala sauce.
EAT.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:50,
Reply)
HAHAHA ITS FUNNY COS YOUR ARE SCOTTISH!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
I make the best chips in the world, true story, there are no such thing as better chips than the chips I make.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:57,
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I saw your method.Make some game chips the same way then.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
maaaybe.I'm thinking (from taking all the suggestions on here), is wrapped in bacon and served with mash and a port joux.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:00,
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For ultimate crispyness use pancetta.Get it from a proper wop deli and get them to slice it nice and thin. The extra fat will crisp the skin up to fuck and keep the meat nice and juicy.
/used to be a chef and that.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:03,
Reply)
This is also a pro tip for roasting a whole fish.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:04,
Reply)
Oh man, deffo deffo 100%. There is one round the corner from work too.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:05,
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I might also suggest marsala instead of port.It's just a bit sweeter and that. You could make a red cabbage and cranberry side, that'll complement the whole thing. What with it being a bit sharp and that.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:06,
Reply)
Oh man, yeah', that sounds wicked, I'd be up for that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:09,
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I'm well jel, pheasant is bloody lovely.I near broke my tooth on shot once. That'll fucking teach me not to check first :'(
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:12,
Reply)
Hah, yeah', gonna have to check on that one(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:40,
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Port may overpower the flavour of the meat. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:05,
Reply)
nah, it's game. It can take a bit of a strong sauce.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:09,
Reply)
I would use it as a condiment rather than sauce, so I have the best of both worlds.Although stunned's one up there sounds pretty good too.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:09,
Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH SOMETHING ABOUT COCK!!!!!11!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:16,
Reply)
it is ok to love cock tho, i really like minehe done a sicky burp last night
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Yeah' man, his stuff sounds well good. Proper knows his stuff.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
The only thing I've ever made with pheasant was game pieI used duck, venison and pheasant, that was rather good.
Colour the meat, add garlic, onions, mushrooms, carrots, and any other veg you think is necessary. Then, add red wine and a bouquet garni, and let it cook on low for a while. Preheat the oven, either just add pastry lid, or make it into a full pie (I was rather lazy, and just added a lid).
Cook for about 30-40 mins at about 200 until everything is fully cooked, serve with either new potatoes or mash. NOM.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:52,
Reply)
Although that sounds lush, I wanna highlight the pheasent as I've never had it before, where as I think it would be lost in that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
I prefer it braised in beer:Half the pheasant, brown, set to one side.
Brown chopped shallots & sliced mushrooms.
Add 300ml beer, two cloves of garlic, spring of fresh time, 250ml of chicken stock and the juice of half a lemon to the shallots and mushrooms. Add the pheasant.
Place in oven on 180c for 30 minutes.
Remove pheasant and keep warm.
Reduce sauce, add 100ml of creme fraiche and 3 tablespoons of brandy or calvados.
Serve with goose fat roast King Edward potatoes and savoy cabbage.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:55,
Reply)
Interesting, I don't see any requirement in the recipe for a Benny.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
Don't worry AAHe's tied to a tree.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:01,
Reply)
HA HA BECAUSE ACKTUALLY I'M NOT...err...hang on....(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 11:26,
Reply)
This sounds rather a lot better than mine(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
That's a deffo maybe.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:59,
Reply)
Wrap it in bacon and roast it for not very long.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 10:55,
Reply)
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