b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1549668 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Sorry to threadstomp, but this is too good to miss
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2110430/Girl-19-tricked-female-friends-sexual-relationships-dressing-BOY-jailed-half-years.html

Go on, I'm sure you lot will have a field day with this one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:11, 86 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
That's the second news story of the day to crack me up
www.nydailynews.com/news/national/teenagers-poured-gasoline-boy-walking-home-school-set-fire-cops-article-1.1033062

The story isn't funny, but the surname of the child is.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)
Yes, I do wonder whether the surname had anything to do with the incident...
Christ, that's horrific.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)
oof.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:23, Reply)
You think that name is funny?!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17257644
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)
Pffft.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Surely not?
Surely not?

I think you've finally found a better name than Randy Bumgardner!
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:30, Reply)
Am I missing something here?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:32, Reply)
Afraid I can't find the original link just now
But a friend sent me a website with the biography of one Randy Bumgardner. I had yet to find a funnier name than that, possibly until just now with Himjim's contribution.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:34, Reply)
All I get is a story about Putin though?
Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:35, Reply)
Check the name under the picture at the top of the page.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:36, Reply)
ZING!
Hahahahaha! Toally missed Tiny there
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Hahah

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Only in relation to the story

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:31, Reply)
what's not to love?
for an interesting debate, I'm not sure I think she's really guilty of sexual assault though
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Seems like it was entirely consensual to me, albeit under false pretences.
Also, these girls were her friends yet they didn't suspect anything?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)
that does seem a tad "special" ... yes

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Better still,
part of her disguise was apparently "speaking in a deeper voice."

I can't help but imagine that scene in Blackadder II, with Rowan Atkinson wearing a bag over his head and speaking in a ridiculous basso profondo.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)
Or "bob"

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Ha! Of course.
How did I miss that one?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)
"Thowy about the bag"

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:31, Reply)

'my little pumpkiny wumpkiny'
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:34, Reply)
If the girls
She was finger banging were 15 though it would still be statutory, wouldnt it?

The "victims" just dont want to admit they are fish lovers
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)
nope. not unless they were 13
Might be unlawful but I think they are only claiming assault because they were lied to. Which would make 78% of adults entering a sexual relationship guilty of assault, by my maths
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:27, Reply)

maths defence team
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)
they were fucking useless
I told them to use the chewbacca defence.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:33, Reply)
Is it 13 for clam munchers
that seems somewhat unfair to regular nonces.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:29, Reply)
no, it's only rape in cases where consent is given if one party is under 13
for both sexes. 13-16 is unlawful activity with a minor but not rape or assault.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:32, Reply)
you sound suspiciously clued-up on this, old bean

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)
recent background reading after those norfolk/suffolk fuckers
who were filmed spitroasting an 11 year old got reduced sentences because she "looked 14"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Justice for ya, right there.
She wasn't a virgin either.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I can actually see why it happened, legally.
It's just ..... ffs, she was 11.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:54, Reply)
How do you get that wrong unless you don't care?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:57, Reply)
there's no answer to that.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:58, Reply)
sorry, that was a worryingly serious answer
"because I like to be sure I'm not going back to the Scrubs soon"

is that better?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:54, Reply)
how about "because i'm a horndog pervert"?
simple, accurate, easy.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:59, Reply)
and far too close to the truth.
except "horndog"? ffs, swipe, have you accidentally been contaminated with college yank?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:01, Reply)
i was just trying to get down with the (11 year old) kids

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:06, Reply)
as opposed to "going down" on them like some horndogs around here

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Never mind that!
I've just read that Falkland Islanders can either be known as Kelpers (due to the seaweed all around the islands) or...... BENNIES!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Are you a bennie tied to an island?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:37, Reply)
...with kelp?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:37, Reply)
KELPERS ON THE LOOSE!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:38, Reply)
And this is news how?

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:33, Reply)
I'm not sure who's the more special there
the girl, for dressing up as a guy to get off with her mates, or her mates for not noticing. How convincing can a deeper voice and a hat be?!
(berk, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:41, Reply)
it could be a very good hat.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:43, Reply)
hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:48, Reply)
"cloaking hat of sexual urgency"

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)
this is fucking unbelievable
is it 1 april?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:47, Reply)
This is an old story. This followed her sentencing.
It was in the papers 3 or 4 months ago.

I think a bit of time on the set of Prisoner Cell Block H was exactly what she was after.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:50, Reply)
an ulterior motive...
.... a fast track to the fish factory
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:51, Reply)
"Which one of you is top dog because you're gonna be chewin' my bean!"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Guildford Crown Court in the papers. We're famous.
Mildly amused to note that the Phantom Fingerer lives in Staines.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:53, Reply)
More infamous, I'd say.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:54, Reply)
If it is Staines, she's doing it at the wrong time or in the wrong hole

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 15:58, Reply)
Well this is good isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:26, Reply)
This place is jumping like a Parkinson's sufferer standing on a live rail.
(!)
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Dreadful show.
Some ideas need bucking up, before I start a UPS-themed thread.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:31, Reply)
I feel like I'm wasting my birthday on here.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:36, Reply)
You are.
I reckon today should be more of "cheeky vimto" day.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Of all days, today is the one for Matusalem Old Oloroso Sherry.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:40, Reply)
It's wasted on the young, mate.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:42, Reply)
The little cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Happy bidet young man.
When I was your age I certainly wouldn't have wasted my birthday on the internet. Even if it had been invented then.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)
You would have just been wasted.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I can say with complete honesty
that I have no idea at all how I spent my 18th, 21st or even 30th. Not a fucking clue.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:49, Reply)
This place is fucking shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Hey, "wee man".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:42, Reply)
I think 'wank man' might be equally apt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:43, Reply)
A mate of mine was at Manor House tube one hungover morning,
when he claims he saw a 'pigeon pecking at a nutty shit'.

How about that?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:42, Reply)
It's still better than being on here.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:43, Reply)
Delightful.
I am stuck in a board meeting (which started in Luton at 7am). I thought I would skive for a minute and log on here for some light entertainment, but's even more boring here than it is discussing menu prices and restaurant locations.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:45, Reply)
have fun in the meeting then.
make up some words and say them like they mean something.

"yes Jeff, sounds good. What about the bawsack factor though, has it been properly quantifated yet?"
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:49, Reply)
If's a good start Gregory but have we winkled out the wrinkles with the pickles yet?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I envy your menu prices meeting.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:50, Reply)
You forgot this (!)

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:50, Reply)
What does £1.60 get me?
A "short" order?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Officechortle

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:52, Reply)
A kick in your unbelievably small testicles.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:54, Reply)
A lick of his unbelievably large cow.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:55, Reply)
Ha ha.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Is he really a fat harry potter?
I wish I was mates with a fat harry potter :(
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Nah he's not, sadly.
My brother, however...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Cor has he got a stripey jumper for playing 'where's wally' during the dull after dinner christmas games?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Yes.
I mean, no.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 17:04, Reply)
I can understand keeping that as a family secret

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 17:07, Reply)
We have bigger ones.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Mar 2012, 17:09, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1