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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, erm....er.......errrrr....... I don't have to go into work again but I'm being paid for the next 2 months.
I feel quite gutted really, I have so many unfinished projects that I wanted to polish off.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:15, 177 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Fuck eeeem,
go find yourself a better job and take those ideas with you.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Yeah', exacto, although one guy whos staying on just asked me if I can finish up something that I'm the only one who can do it....
...so I told him i'd do that, it'll only take me a day, and it's not like I've got nothing better to do.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:27, Reply)
Surely finding a new job is something better to be doing

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:28, Reply)
I've been told a handful of times that I can be in a job by the end of next week if I wanted =)

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:41, Reply)
Well in which case, do that.
You get free cash and then keep the money rolling in.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Exacto, that's the new kitchen sorted =)
I might take up coccain, what's it like?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Fake oven chips drizzled with cola.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
Oh... ok.
I don't think cocain is for me, then.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
hey. on the plus side, that's more time to try and think of musical things I haven't done.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Remove every single bog roll from the premesis before you leave tonight
And enjoy the next two months pay before getting a better job elsewhere.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)
It'll be alright but I didn't turn up today.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
Nab all useful code and documentation

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)
That's theft, not very nice really

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Rory moral High Inquisitor of \OT

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Oddly enough a director doesn't turn up to their bedsit hovel and steal their bog roll and latest pacman game whilst they're at work

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Oh, yeah', I kindda have a copy of all their source code on my home computer =/

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
If you get another job quickly you can spend the two months salary on some stuff for your flat.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:28, Reply)
+ , like bog paper

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:29, Reply)
+ plastic sheeting

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Office LOL

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Gonz could get some glow in the dark shit tickets.
www.iwantoneofthose.com/gift-novelty/glow-in-the-dark-loo-roll/30001854.html
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
That can't be healthy.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:42, Reply)
i heard thats how marie curie died

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Wiping her arse on early diver's watches.
It's true.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I heard it was her penchant for getting fisted by Jacques Cousteau that finished her off

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
It's the kitchen sorted hopefully =)

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)

projects deep-fried American sweets
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:41, Reply)
FFFFFUUUUU
Agent just called, apparently the landlord has ditched them "because they kept calling him about the EPC certificate" and found his own tenant.

fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Call the agent back and ask them what hotel they're putting you up in until they've resolved the issue.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)
^THIS

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
^what they said.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
They'll do fuck all,
and I love the way they call you this time of night so you don't have a chance to get legal on them before they fuck off to the pub.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
He should get swipe on it.
Superlawyer to the rescue!

Come to think of it, she's always turfing people out on the streets. Shouldn't she have plenty of empty properties he could rent?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
yeah, loads
if he wants to live in a derelict factory, formerly occupied by a gang of "street artists", an empty victorian hospital, as recently forcibly vacated by some typical middle-class drop-outs, a small office block where the tenant couldn't pay its rent, a petrol station where the proprietor wants out because of heart problems, or a kebab shop that i am closing down for breach of repairs.

of course, he may not fancy any of these.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
You never know.
It could come to that. He's supposed to start his new job in four days.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Take pitta on him and rent him the kebab shop.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
shesh man.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:13, Reply)
You've donner pun, Gonz!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:16, Reply)
You can't win this one, my turkish is shit hot, you tavok (chicken) a leg to stand on.
I can get Bir (one) with one for a tenna ('of'; to request something).
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Hold up now, does this old victorian hospital happen to be Princess Park Manor? 'cus that place is swank.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
er
no. not even close. think old freaky bedlam-type place.

up north.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
Any ghosts of prostertutes? 'cus I could totally dig that.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:22, Reply)
Not really appealing :(

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:21, Reply)
If that's true you're better off without him
I wouldn't be suprised if they just rented it to someone who paid more though, because letting agents are cunts.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:49, Reply)
hahahahahahaha!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)
Don't sweat, all the London B3tans will offer crash space until you get another let
Just wait for the gazzez to arrive
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Don't you live in london?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Part time innit
Also I wouldn't want my neighbours curtain twitching and then being given a petition for the peedo to leave the area
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
That sucks, but he was clearly a dodgy landlord, so in the long run it may be for the best

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:53, Reply)
You're clearly a mentally-subnormal helmet
so in the long run your immediate account deletion and suicide may be for the best
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
Keep dreaming boyce

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
That is what we 'a Londres' call 'a fucking lie'.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
have you signed, paid the deposit etc?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
'I'M YOURS!'

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
Just to clarify
I'm not actually yours, it was a music joke*

*bit like your 'CD' collection
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
bellend

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
paid an earnest fee but not signed

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
there's a £200 fine for letting without one
report him, he's probably gone with someone who didn't ask!

but seriously, ouch, that sucks. it's a nightmare trying to find somewhere when you're in a difference city.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
This might help
tinyurl.com/84xgpxh
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
you suck

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Sorry mate.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Haha, oh man, thats super screwed.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
Are you crackers.
Go out and party.
In other news, panic over everyone, Barry's in a reasonably good mood again. I put this down to the green tea and granny smith apple I just had.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
god you're bent

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
did you ingest them through your-
oh, ape beat me to it
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Green tea is amazing.
Now I'm chain smoking. Updates as and when they come.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Meeting a mate in about 45 minutes.
Nandos and a McFlurry.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:11, Reply)
You're not making it any easier to be happy for you.
unless you spend some of that free money on buying shit for me.

And no, before anyone makes the tediously obvious joke, I do not mean that literally.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Alright b3th, I heard you got b4shbanged, details please

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Where did you hear that?
Is there slash fiction out there again?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:01, Reply)
ha'penny knee tremblers I believe the expression was
THAT@SJUSTWHATIHEARDONTHEB4SHLOLZORZGRAPEVINE
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
man
i thought our gazzes were private
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
It was an eyeopener to discover that b3th's an insatiable slut hungry for dribbling mancock
the smellier the bogs the sluttier she becomes
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:11, Reply)
I bet it did open your 'eye'
you filthy beast.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:13, Reply)
brown-eye-opener more like

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:13, Reply)
She's a shitbox specialist that way she's not 'cheating'

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
this has made me laugh

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:15, Reply)
I made £60.05
mr b3th said "who gave you 5p?" and I said ...
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
well, if no-one else is going to fill in the punch line, I'll have to do it myself.


And I said "They all did!"
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
what is a g rape vine?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
It's what chompy uses to call Dr.Dre when he's lined up a girl to "entertain him"

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:06, Reply)
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
a stick

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
Tsk.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
what?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:11, Reply)
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr Dre.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
I know.
I was deliberately misunderstanding you for comedic effect.

You bender.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:13, Reply)
where?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
If she was playing the field and I wasn't on board because of my personal safety, then I'LL be the one doing the phsyical harm (in a fictional sinario).

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:11, Reply)
You've no-one to blame but yourself.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
You don't know me very well then, I'm great at placing my faults on other's blames.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:19, Reply)
enjoy it, dude
we can have cocktails at PIZZABASH to celebrate
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
OMG PIZZAB4SH!!!
i'm there!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
where?
the venue hasn't been cast in stone yet, so it'd be good to know where to avoid, if you know what i mean??
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:13, Reply)
Pizza Hut in Reading MEGABOWL

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:16, Reply)
well yeah but it's always best to avoid reading

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
OH BOY< I@M THERE

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:19, Reply)
I'd love to get gardening leave
a friend of mine has 4 months!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:07, Reply)
i only have balconies :(

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
Try plunge for better cleavage

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Has your friend been hanging around with Rupert Murdoch?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
Damn my identity revealed i am Jeremy hunt

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:11, Reply)
I'm pretty sure that's what I heard.
It certainly sounded like that, anyway.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:15, Reply)
when swipe flies me over you can take me dancing

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
i might be in california this summer
is that any good?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
You're probably closer to her now than you would be in California.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:17, Reply)
Krizza is East Coast Jersey girl

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:17, Reply)
this
Forrizzeals
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
I saw some of that 'real housewives of orange county' the other day.
What a bunch of vaccuous self-important bimbos.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:22, Reply)
They should all be killed
peoiple like that represent everything tht is wrong with the world
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:23, Reply)
They all post on B3ta under the name NakedApe?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:24, Reply)
yey! Monty's back!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:25, Reply)
So Monty i was thinking we should get a secret code or something that no one else can read!
we could base it on the first letters of the first page of "Discworld"
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:27, Reply)
BRILLIANT IDEA!!!!!!!!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Mr Ape thanks you for your enquiry
and has asked me to tell you to flush your own head down the toilet, and he'll get back to you as soon as he can.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)
Proactive, I'm impressed

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:27, Reply)
Wait till you get my invoice.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:28, Reply)
I'm sorry but the word 'toilet' ist VERBOTEN.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:28, Reply)
He's a prole. What casn you do?
Kindly stick your head in the lavatory bowl and have your man pull the chain repeatedly, will you?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Ah, now I understand.
Tell him 'no, fuck off Nakers you fucking dimwit' please.

Thanks x
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:30, Reply)
I shall certainly pass on the message.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:31, Reply)
You'll find it most handy as an autocomplete, I can assure you.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:33, Reply)
Is that about Quint's missus?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:24, Reply)
Oh dear god, they are the worst examples of humanity that exist.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:32, Reply)
big rich texas is hilarious

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:37, Reply)
It's fucking vulgar this american tv show thing about people being rich and flaunting it in people's faces.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:39, Reply)
its bc we get to see them be crazy

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:44, Reply)
no

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
yes

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
pudding!

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
i want to hit you

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:21, Reply)
join the queue

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:21, Reply)
pow!
you can spend the two months picking which of your potential employer bitches is going to shower you in money
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:21, Reply)
Hi cavy, wassup?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:24, Reply)
alright
nothing interesting. Perhaps there should be. you?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:25, Reply)
nah, been a long week, but got Monday off so looking forward to the weekend
Also need to be in work at 7:30 8am tomorrow which sucks
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)
I've got to be in work until about 8pm tomorrow if that helps
we have a student presentation thing going on.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:29, Reply)
someone has removed the inside of my head
and replaces it with cotton wool and sandpaper.

However, if the incubation period of teh common cold is less than three days, I can't blame you.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:25, Reply)
definitely can't blame me
besides, mine started with a sore throat. I think mine was some kind of plague.

Get some vitamin C in you
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)
My throat is absolutely ragged at the moment.
It started yesterday morning, and by now it hurts to swallow.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:28, Reply)
uh, that sounds familar
I'm afraid it'll be like that for a little while now. Sorry
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:29, Reply)
I hate you.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:31, Reply)
that's fair

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:32, Reply)
As long as we're clear.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:32, Reply)
I'm reading this as you two definitely lezzed it up in Bristol
just so you know.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:49, Reply)
Whatever gets you through.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:50, Reply)

through off
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:53, Reply)
err....
you *have* met me, right?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:56, Reply)
And Cavey.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:06, Reply)
and you can imagine me with a cold, right?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:07, Reply)
OK, I give up, I've successfully creeped myself out.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:10, Reply)
Hi Caves.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:36, Reply)
ay up
guess what? we have ultimate megaplans for some news greatness - one of our number has been working with Aftereffects to make idents with LENS FLARE!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:38, Reply)
This is good?
I have a moral dilemma: A colleague I didn't like very much is having leaving drinks and I have been invited. Normally I'd attend as he was alright, even if I won't miss him, but I had promised myself a quiet night in as I've not had one in over a week and I'm shattered.

Actually now I see it in black and white, I'm clearly not going, but I do feel a bit bad about it as the man clearly liked me, but fuck it, even a swift pint is time I could be spending on the sofa eating food and planning a long weekend in Paris.

SO, anyway, Lens flair?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:47, Reply)
damn right it's good
I've been researching by watchng lots of The Day Today and clips of old news graphics
www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9i_ZdZaJlg&feature=watch_response


anyway, fuck that dude and have a night in
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:52, Reply)
I will, it's a shame, if it was tomorrow I'd have a few pints and enjoy it but today I need the rest
I feel like I'm coming down with a cold, which often happens when I'm worn out, just need to recharge.

Ahh, I see what you mean. I guess we also need a name, shame KY TV has gone already
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:56, Reply)
we're thinking Sans Serif
(Sans being the name of the family/big Robert Murdock dude in charge). The guy who did the ident is going to be Gill Sans, so basically he's daddy's boy
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:58, Reply)
OK, that'll work
Nice big SS logo?

ALso methinks Drop the Dead Donky would be good revision
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:05, Reply)
yes, that too

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:07, Reply)
We'll need a teddybear
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ2bvR3BT_g
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:11, Reply)
haha
man, we gotta get some props!
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:16, Reply)
sounds like a plan.
right Moff
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:17, Reply)
LENS FLARE CLOUGH
Swimming Pool noncing lolz.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:50, Reply)
what?
I missed this new in joke
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:53, Reply)
hahahha

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:55, Reply)
damnit

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:59, Reply)
HEY JEFF!!!!
I was just taking a dip in the local swimming pool and the lifeguard said, "What's that you've got?"



I replied, "Hummus".
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:29, Reply)
I bought some knocked off speedos, that didn't go down as well as the kid in the locker room.

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:31, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:32, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:32, Reply)
Alright Monty
you watching the Mary Beard program?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:53, Reply)
Good for you Gonz
spend it on bigger sofas
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 17:53, Reply)

Alright, o flids and gyppoes?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:21, Reply)
Nope
I'm doomed, PD. DOOMED.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:32, Reply)
I actually just meant Monty.
But I pluralised to look more inclusive.

Yeah, I saw that your flat fell through. Is Rory not putting you up?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:36, Reply)
I would fear for my delicate rosebud

(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:57, Reply)
Rory's a good bloke.
He just has a trolly online persona.

Do you think I'm this pretentious and vain in real life?

Of course not.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 18:59, Reply)

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