Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Evening allI have tomorrow off, do you?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:13,
270 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I ate a bag of fun size crunchies and I feel ill nowonly losers take days off
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:30,
Reply)
you should move in with NA, he's got oak flooring and filled travertine tiling don't you know(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:36,
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i fear it's in spite of his effortshis soft hands couldn't drive a nail straight for all the tea in china
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:39,
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i'm still not going to suck you off(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:43,
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not helping your cause here as a sweaty internet housewhale rory(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:32,
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I'm nearly 13 stone :((it's all muscle though
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:37,
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I wonder how CQ and Darth are getting on 'down the dev', they must be in their element being all alternative and shit(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:38,
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Probably comparing how epically bent their 'fashion sense' is, before Darth awards himself '10 out of 10 darling' and sucks a skinhead's cock for £20.Welcome to my brain.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:40, Reply)
i wonder if darth will actually use cq's moustach as a handlebar?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:53,
Reply)
They banged on and on and on and on about the 'dev' during darths last combichrist gig in camdenin summary it's an 'alternative public house in camden' frequented by wankers. I drove by it earlier, there was some kid going in with a four foot mohawk and 3 inch 'flesh tunnels'. You'd love it
www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/12/1294/Devonshire_Arms/Camden
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:57,
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will they let me in wearing my espadrilles?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:04,
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NoI have meeting of ultimate DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
if it goes well I look super awesome and I can breath again, if it doesn't, I'm fucked
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:39,
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SO IT@S WIN WIN THEN HAHAHAHA(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:40,
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have you not tried picking on the lonely fat kid in your class?he'll reek of desperation, and congealed cum pants from his afternoon bog wank
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:45,
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We already passed the first one of these (which was similar)and the feedback we got from the guy who can't make the meeting is all positive and shit. Unless there is some argumentative twat on this panel, we should be OK
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:43,
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So your story is you're appearing on Mock the Week, replacing Frankie Boyle?Have fun dealing with that cockney twat WHO. SPEAKS. LIKE. THIS. AND. IS. NOT. FUNNY. AT. ALL.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:44, Reply)
yupit turns out all along that despite my terrible puns, I am in fact a professional comedian
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:46,
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If I had a day off without going anywhere, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.(
girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:44,
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crying into her dining room curtain over the unfairness of life(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:49,
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crying into a kitchen teatowel over life's 'what ifs'(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:49,
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you are a little ray of sunshine this evening(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:50,
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i've overdosed on crunchies, I'm so strung out I should've gone to see combichrist tonight(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:53,
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But that was the source of all his power!he's trying to fill the void with crunchies, but it's just not enough
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:54,
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you're never alone with a book(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:59,
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Why not? I used to when working abroad rather than getting stuck in the hotel all night on my own. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:59,
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cinema is fine on your own(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:59,
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i'd go to the pub with a book or the paperi'm excellent company
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:55,
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Working from home as I do most Fridays, almost a day off, but at least a couple of hours work spread through out the day will be required. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 19:57,
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Yours is shorter, according to the graffiti in the women's toilets(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:03,
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Very low. I am very relaxed and and happy. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:02,
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Off 'til September mate. I can totally play Last Nite by the Strokes on the bass now.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:06, Reply)
1: fuck off2: The Strokes are shit
3: Bass is for benders
I hope this helps
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:07,
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1. Gutted
2. Well you're wrong there.
3. Off til September twenty something...
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:08, Reply)
what you students seem to forget is that by having the summer offyou don't have something we don't only that the timing is different. However when we graduated there were jobs...
also the Strokes are shit, FACT
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:10,
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What you seem to forget is that I am a bloke and will be teaching primary school, fuck loads of jobs for me. Also I will have every summer off. I don't even want to know what sort of shit you think is good if you don't appreciate the Strokes you quent fuck.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:12, Reply)
I can teach, turns out I'm awesome at it. What do you do for a living? apart from dick around on B3ta?
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:14, Reply)
You know those timed spray things that keep public bogs fresh?I sell them
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:17,
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No idea what you're talking about? Unlike you I don't often go gloryhole hunting.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:20, Reply)
no need to hunt, your dad tells me where to go(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:22,
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Oi!some of us awesome people teach, too. Well, lecture
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:16,
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the strokes reallly are shit(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:13,
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I think your love of steam punk punk, might rule you out of this one(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:14,
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nonsense, I look well good in my steampunk kit(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:44,
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Do not listen to NA. It is widely known he's the biggest spastic on B3ta and knows nothing on any subject. However the strokes are a bit rubbish.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:11,
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Actually Bats, the first Strokes album is alright.Everything since has been pish though.
Hope this helps.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:17, Reply)
I taught myself to play Roads by Portishead on bass, including the solo.And loads of Joy Division.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:08, Reply)
The girl teaching me is HAWT, if you don't mind metal/punk girls. How's you doze?
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:10, Reply)
Hot. Totally hot.I'm not condoning murder, I mean we respect human life and all, but if I was a serial killer, I'd be Mickey and Mallory.
And I love metal/ punk girls as long as they aren't fat, smelly biffers.
Sorry OT girls.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:12, Reply)
with you here, I reckon 80% are biffas though(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:14,
Reply)
Hot goth chicks are fucking impeccable.But there are loads of fat smelly biffers.
When out raving I never see any fat smelly biffers at house and techno nights, I wonder why this is?
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:15, Reply)
She is svelte and sexy and it can be a little distracting at times.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:15, Reply)
afraid notI'm in a course Monday to Wednesday to learn about the ERM software made by the people we just acquired. I know nothing about managing enterprise relationships but I expect by the end I'll be Counsellor Troi.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:09,
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Enterprise? Relationships? Counsellor Troi?Nobody?
This is a sad day for offtopic.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:32,
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i got iti just didn't say anything. Liking Star Trek on here isn't allowed now everyone is pretending not to be geeks
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:35,
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Fucking playstation updatesEvery time I fancy having a tool about on gran turismo there's another fucking update out and I have to wait for the twat to download. I only have a five minute attention span with these things. I just want to boot it up, do a couple of races and turn it off again. None of you care and I don't care that you don't care. I'm either going to rant on here or Facebook and those poor cunts have had enough.
Fuck you Sony, I wish I had an Xbox. I bet you don't have to do this so often on one of those AND Forza lets you chav up your cars. Cunts.
No Ape, I don't have tomorrow off. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
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Kroney, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:10,
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I have hungry hungry hippos, does that help?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:10,
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Updates on Xbox take about a minute tops.And the controller is much better. And the online is much better.
Hope this helps.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:11, Reply)
I have tomorrow off.But then, you knew that because I mentioned it in the last thread.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:32,
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Evening JeffI had a nice massage at lunchtime, very cute girl with a slight Scottish accent. Very strong hands too. I was glad I was wearing loose-fitting trousers.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:34,
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Was this one of those come round to your office type massages?I could do with one of those.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:36,
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YesLast Thursday of every month, 15 minutes for £10. I can still feel it and my neck clicked on the way home so loudly it reverberated around my skull.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:39,
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obvious post is obvious.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:37,
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No thanks.I'm going to a park in Manchester to drink beer in the rain.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:41,
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ah ok then, well I hope you have funI'm sure someone else will be around
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:42,
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OH MAN I'LL BE THERE, BUT LIKE THE NEXT DAY !!!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:51,
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Aw man! you could pop over and try and upset me in real life.(
girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:59,
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I don't upset you biggersI'm only really cruel to qotweekers and that's just shooting fish pointlessly. WHERE IS THE MEANING IN MY LIFE !!!!
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:04,
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No you don't upset me but you can't help but try a little now and then.Admit it!
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girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:05,
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we all thrive on barbed comments(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:08,
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the day you flip out an breakdown live on herewill be awesome to watch. Give me warning so I can watch it unfold
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:06,
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Why on earth would I have a mental breakdown, and supposing this were to happen why the fuck would I report it to the internet(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:09,
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possibly, I'll keep my current crunchie addiction a closely guarded secret from now on(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:10,
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too many crunchies...not enough bait for trollingI think that and a few gins should do the trick
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:11,
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It'll be wet on FridayAnd muddy on the Saturday.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:00,
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that's summer in Manchester kiddoI can't be fucked with any of the support acts so I'll get there for about nine
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:03,
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also I'll see if I can get tickets for Phoenix Park, as that's only ten minutes walk from where I live(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:05,
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Who is supporting on Sat?Primal Scream and The Vaccines on Friday.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:35,
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I can't believe you're in Mancland and wont be able to pop over to see me.(
girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:40,
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we have a treatment room at work£27 for an hour, I nearly always fall asleep
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:41,
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An hour would be a bit excessive I reckonconsidering the pummeling I got.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:44,
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that is full body, back, legs, feet, arms, hands, head and facezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:47,
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I hope to leave work an hour early tomorrow. I'm so lucky.I'm too busy at the moment, and probably for the rest of the year.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:35,
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good news then, you're half way through!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:42,
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So why exactly do fat biffers gravitate toward metal and 'alternativeness'?Somebody must know.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:45, Reply)
because tossers who are obsessed with imageare into the mainstream stuff.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:46,
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OK, mainstreamand whatever shit you're into
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:49,
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what, shit like piercings, skate culture, stoner metal and hardcore punk?Wow, that's me told.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:50, Reply)
What have you got pierced?I have nothing pierced
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:51,
Reply)
currently both ears, eyebrow, nipple and belly buttonI have had my lip done, tongue done and septum was pierced for about 10 years. My ears maxed out at 5 in one and 3 in the other, I went down to one BCR in each when I got my eyebrow done. It was a bit much otherwise.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:53, Reply)
aren't eyebrow piercings a bit ninties boyband?bcr?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:55,
Reply)
BCR is ball closure ringI got my eyebrow done when I was 17, in 1997. It's lasted 15 years, which is something of a record.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:56, Reply)
yeah, don't they get pushed out by the body?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:59,
Reply)
Usually, yeah.But mine has stayed put. It was really deep when it was done though.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:00, Reply)
ignore him, he is ot's second angriest midget(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:53,
Reply)
I was mostly being dismissiveIt's hard to get across in type
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:54,
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well, if you are representative of it's cultureit's still full of self obsessed, judgemental people who think the rest of us care
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:58,
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I am representative of only my own culture.But thanks for the insightful character study, I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:00, Reply)
i found that after i was fourteen i didn't really care if i was part of any culture, alternative or otherwisegod I'm cool
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:01,
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You are in a culture of those people who don't care if they are part of any culture.(
girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:03,
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or one you find in yoghurtsthat have been left on the radiator
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:04,
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I found that the option of either wearing fila trainers and naf naf jackets or sewing an eddie onto a denim jacket as pretty unappealing(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:07,
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Holla girlfriend!What do you do these days?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 20:52,
Reply)
*hugs*I sprayed some of my stepdad's Leau D'issey on earlier and was reminded how much I fucking love the smell.
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girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:17,
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As always.And I dunno if I've said this already, but it's great to have you back Biggers, it really is.
*drops act for a sec*
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:20, Reply)
Well yes, but I have a valid reason now.Edit: Aw! fanku!! : )
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girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:21,
Reply)
ah, ok thenbut dozer is right for the first time to night
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:27,
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Even a broken clock is right twice a day(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:29,
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shouldn't you be up to your nuts in Darth's guts(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:36,
Reply)
Not bad.Scarpe is a Gay Olympic Shite though.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:40,
Reply)
s'truehe's proably felating olympic ateletes as we speak.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:48,
Reply)
Amberl just called me a broken clock.This must mean she fancies me.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:32, Reply)
I could never love a man who loved KRS-One(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:46,
Reply)
What's happening Nakers?Can you summarise all of the above to save me the bother of looking at any of it?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:36,
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dozer got a bit angryrory was a bit mean
bobby was fat and played bass
and i was a bent spastic
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:39,
Reply)
Much as I expected.Thanks.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:40,
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when it was pointed out what a massive conformist you are.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:42,
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yeah then, you only have like 8 piercingswho are you, Prince fucking William
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:43,
Reply)
*has to count*7 actually, but I forget they are there, because \I am so laid back and cool, also probably because the most recent one is 15 or so years old.fuck I'm old, what was the point again?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:47,
Reply)
the point was I meant to say dozer had eight piercigs...we're both fucked
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:48,
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oh dear I feel so dull and mainstream, if only I was cool likr dozer*looks for the stapler*
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:50,
Reply)
Five at the moment.I used to have eight in my ears, plus all the others.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:05, Reply)
is this a young people's thing?I have no clue
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:56,
Reply)
It's far too hip for people like you.Ask B3th and Cavey.
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girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:57,
Reply)
sadly it's probably trueDarth's friend was 21, 21? I ask you, I looked at her tits and everything, now I feel like a pedo.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:59,
Reply)
nor do I have any desire to be.I'm trying to be cool, like Dozer.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:59,
Reply)
well evidently, weaqther I can type is another matter.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:51,
Reply)
so may autobiographies could be credited this way
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:04,
Reply)
You win this time...*shakes fist*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:04,
Reply)
your learning difficulties are getting worse I see.You massive conformist.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:58, Reply)
Ah, is that what made you angry?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:41,
Reply)
Christ, the folds in my fat are fucking sweaty enough as it is, good thing I don't have a minge or I'd be fucking leaving stains everywhere.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:36,
Reply)
thanks for the update(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:37,
Reply)
I farted whilest playing with Biscuit earlier.She was very confused and smelled her own arse.
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girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:47,
Reply)
Right, the football's over.You can have me back again.
Evening, shitcunts.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:52,
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football was surprisingwas it still 2-0?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:53,
Reply)
It finished 1-2 after Germany got a penalty in the 91st minute.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:55,
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They honestly played a shocking match tonight.I think even England would have run rings around them.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 21:59,
Reply)
Wow.Have you seen the tennis? It's almost as exciting as the soccer.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:04,
Reply)
that's the one with strawberries, right?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:05,
Reply)
Rafa Nadal (2 in the world ranking)has just been knocked out by Lucas Rosol (100 in the world ranking). It's all exciting and shit.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:07,
Reply)
I'm thinking of going to bed earlyso, I'm not helping either
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:09,
Reply)
So, CQ is back and he's still a tedious little wank monkey with an unrequited crush on me.CQ, you spasticated little dick, can you give it a rest with all the Dozerhating & dozerbaiting?
If you want, we can kiss a bit later and even use tongues.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:07, Reply)
Aw, he's gone to bed rather than rising to this bait.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:15,
Reply)
He's a dick.Dressing the way he does to fit in with his own little scene, and I'm a conformist? What a prick.
Also, he's what, 35, 36? And still dresses like that? What a prick.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:17, Reply)
Calm down Dozer, it's just the internet. I think you're just smashing!
(, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:18, Reply)
I'd join this threadBut it's just too big.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 22:21,
Reply)
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