Vile but vaguely attractive tory totty, Louise Mensch regrets her MASSIVE DRUGS
And Ken "Jazzman" Clarke has declared that the war on drugs is being lost.
What do you regret? What inanimate objects should we declare war on next?

Alt: What is the best pen for writing on sausages?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:37, 114 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I regret not irradiating your dads balls when I had the chance.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:38, Reply)

You respected the trust he showed you when he placed them in your mouth.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:40, Reply)

His radiocative mouth.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Is this another of your port-manteau words?
radically provocative?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:44, Reply)

I regret not seeing her MASSIVE JUGS.
I regret that my plan to save the children of the future from drugs (by taking them all myself) has been hit by budget cuts due to the RECESSION and the FAT CAT BANKERS.

I think we should declare war on PUGS. Soz Gonz, I think they look Downsy. We've a better chance of winning a War on Pugs, and I think a good clear-cut military victory would give the nation a real boost in these difficult times. Kind of like the Olympics only with dogs being shot.

Alt: Like I'm going to give away my cafe-graff secrets to you. Just how fucking stupid do you think I am?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:41, Reply)

I wouldn't worry, affordable drugs are due a comeback soon.
Cuts to the police force + rising unemployment = increase in demand + more entrepreneurial types setting up in black market industries.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:49, Reply)

I SUPPORT THIS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)

She looks like John Lydon
I don't regret a single class A I have ever taken. The only drugs I regret taking were or are still legal. Fucking Salvia for one. Horrible drug. Next we should declare war on forrins

alt. SAUSAGE THREAD!
( Peej, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:44, Reply)

A little needlepoint along a sausage
can brighten a tired meal. (c) Martha Stewart
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:46, Reply)

Nice tip - ta!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:50, Reply)

fuck this, i'm off to the pub

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:51, Reply)

I am going to watch Get the Gringo this weekend
will it be shit or good. Cast your votes
( Peej, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:53, Reply)

Could be interesting...
I reckon it could be quite good
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Oh yeah, I meant to give you a link to Mensch talking about this, but I forgot.
Here, you can have it now: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-18735858
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:54, Reply)

I want to see lydon's arguments on legalizing them

( Peej, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:58, Reply)

i am hell on inanimate objects
I once threw a trash can at work
krizzle smash!

Alt I love pens!
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:54, Reply)

What are your views on sausages?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:55, Reply)

i like sausage!

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:02, Reply)

You like sausage with gravy and biscuits.
But not english biscuits, american biscuits.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:09, Reply)

shit yeah!
And Italian, andoullie
Whatever other sausage
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:12, Reply)

There are no other sausages
Just Sausage, Italian and Andoullie.

I've never even heard of Andoullie. Is that the french one made out of intestines?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:14, Reply)

its Cajun
Plus you're wrong, there's also chorizo
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:20, Reply)

That comes under sausage.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:23, Reply)

What's Cajun food like?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:23, Reply)

'NOM'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

I'm sure it is, but what is it actually like?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)

spicy smoky barbecue

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Look what I did
d.imgb.in/imgbin_4ff6f4f9a4d3d1.43127523.jpeg

I put a sequwer in it, so the knife can only go half way through, then cut at an angle in order to turn it into a spring. It has a lot higher surface area for crunchy bits and condiments.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:24, Reply)

+i
now i really am off to the pub, at 2
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:55, Reply)

I once kicked a piece of wood.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:03, Reply)

i kick shit all the time
Cause I'm a BOSS
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Do you ever hit on deborah?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:08, Reply)

shut up

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:12, Reply)

You got rejected then. Did you swallow your sadness and send some faxes?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:13, Reply)

I WAS CHUGGING GLASSES AND SMACKIN ASSES

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Oh yeah!
You go girl.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

A biro is good for writing on a banana
Does that help ?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:00, Reply)

It's a start, I suppose.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:01, Reply)

You should ask Tourettes as she has photographic evidence of writing on a sausage.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:04, Reply)

Fuck it, she was honest. which for a politician, rates highly.
War on drugs? What a joke, how much weed is smoked in the UK every day? 3, 4 tons? It's not even a crimr IMHO, I spend most days stoned, and still function. I still pay taxes, at least up till the end of today.
Declaring war on stuff, let's forget countries/nationalities, and choose pens or sausages. The red ones from Ladbrokes are looking a bit dodgy.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:04, Reply)

Really? She was being honest? There is no proof that she even took the drugs
and if she did there is no evidence that she isn't just jumping on a bandwagon of trying to make herself look good by pulling the sympathy card. She has a history of saying what ever will get her the best headline.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:08, Reply)

She's horrible, isn't she?
I wouldn't touch her with yours.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Honest!=politician

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:20, Reply)

I'd boff her into late 2017, mate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Pen,
or sausage?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)

It's like a gert big salami, mush.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)

You said the same about Edwina Currie though.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Phwoarrrrr.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Yes, but she's a politician.
She'll be honest, lie bend the truth...much like us all really.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Sorry, which bit of that is in defence of your statement?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:30, Reply)

I don't care if a politician has done drugs in the past.
Who the fuck hasn't? Not important.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)

My mum hasn't.

Hope this helps x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I love that arguement, "I spend half my days stoned and it's done me no halm so that must be the case for everyone in the world"
In what way can breaking the law not be a crime?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:39, Reply)

That's easy for you to say, with your legal daily dose of strong opiates.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)

To be fair, there is a massive difference, what with me having chronic pain issues.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:48, Reply)

I know, I was making light of your painful and distressing condition.
What a cunt, eh?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:52, Reply)

Hah, I love getting all House up on people and being "I AM IN PAIN ! "

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:57, Reply)

there's a difference between crime as a legal thing in a country
and peoples' opinion of what represents a crime within their moral sphere.

While I don't have a problem with people smoking weed, a friend of mine changed enormously when he stopped, becoming a surprisingly sharp, clever guy. He just did a college course finishing with the highest mark you can get.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Whereas I'm this thick whether I smoke or not :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:43, Reply)

bad luck

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I don't understand you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:47, Reply)

i guess that proves it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:48, Reply)

???

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:52, Reply)

A crime is a crime, I reckon.
You can choose to do the crime and not consider it wrong, but it's still a crime.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Laws change though,
Homosexuality was a crime, as was being gay in the Army, or interacial marrige.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Yah', totally, but it was still a crime at the time. Just because you're 'commiting a crime' it doesn't mean to say you believe there is anything wrong with it, or that there is anything wrong with it, but it is still a crime.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:17, Reply)

but what the term 'crime' represents
changes across time and from country to country. If the government made something like cake illegal, eating cake would be a crime, but at the same time, people could consider it not a crime and the law to be an ass. Perhaps we just need to define terms better before dicussions
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:01, Reply)

i regret the times
I totally missed getting off with dudes because I was oblivious until a day or two later.

alt: sharpie for everything. Definitely works on bananas

Quentin. I came back, it's OK
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:06, Reply)

Too late!
Quentin has gone.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:11, Reply)

oh damn!
i sure hope he doesn't spend the day feeling guilty on my account
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:13, Reply)

Emotionally, that boy is very vulnerable at the moment.
He needs all the love you can spare, Cavy.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:15, Reply)

it's not a lot
most of mine goes on hugging trees or something
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:17, Reply)

i'm back from the pub, cavey
ITS ALL OK NOW
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:02, Reply)

phew

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:03, Reply)

I love ecstasy
Taking bumbles changed my life.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)

I loved it, but took waaaaaay too much
and consequently can never take it again. The depression which follows far outweighs the lolz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)

You were most likely taking it in the days when it still contained MDMA
There was a survey around ten years ago that concluded that most 'ecstasy' sold in the UK was just cheap speed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I took probably thousands of pills
and then ounces of crystal MDMA during a second wave of abuse in the early 2000s. The very thought of this is making me feel ill.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:56, Reply)

changed my life completely, for the better, in many many ways.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Did the brain damage help you to forget getting fingered by your PE teacher?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:02, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Class As muntered me for many years.
I had a belter of a time, but as far as career advancement and the rest of the grown up stuff, well I wouldn't suggest them. The first ever E i bought was £25.00, love dove. Lot of cash, for the late 80s.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Mine was a dove too, I think I paid £20.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)

i get mine from barry for like a fiver each

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Barry has loads of cheap powders.
Apparently, his supplier is very good, cashwise.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:16, Reply)

His suppliers are Ariel, Bold and Set your faces to stunned

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Is it a crime to commit a crime against a crime? Do you deserve the protection of the law if the act being protected is against the law in the first place?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Yes
If you murder someone to stop a murder its still a crime etc.
( Peej, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:26, Reply)

In the glorious days of rave
I definitely had some of the best times of my life, the whole thing was so exciting - but I am sure part of the reason why I am somewhat miserable these days is the fallout from that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:04, Reply)

You're probably right.
I think long term shit, 20 odd years on, is coming to light and kicking in. Fancy some Frosty Jack?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I think I might cry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:14, Reply)

I would imagine they're all full of 'legal highs' now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:59, Reply)

I've never taken ecstasy
It has never appealed to me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Maybe the first 50 times I had it, it was the best thing ever.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:57, Reply)

I am like this about almost all drugs.

( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)

But unless you've tried it how do you really know?
Although raving by yourself in your mum's basement in your pants probably isn't that much fun
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Just don't fancy the idea. Not remotely curious about it, not a fan of the way other people behave
plus considering I ended up in hospital after moderately strong weed, I doubt I have the constitution to survive anything stronger.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:03, Reply)

hahaha, you BENDER

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:06, Reply)

4 realz
Had some sort of narcoleptic seizure. Fucked my memory up and gave me an occasional stutter.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Morris Minor and the Majors lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Not narcolepsy.
Some sort of seizure, anyway. Probably related to my history of epilepsy.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:10, Reply)

epilepsy BEING A PROUD GAY WOMAN
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:13, Reply)

Not you as well?
What is it with this place and 'Brian Epsteins'?

FFS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:13, Reply)

Not anymore, no.
Had a few fits when I was a teenager, went on medication for it and they stopped. I ain't Doogie Hauser or anything, but I suspect the fact that I went into a full-blown seizure after taking a drug that is known to effect epilepsy, may not be a massive coincidence.

Coke's the big one I've got to avoid, though. That shit really fucks with epileptics. I am 100% not likely to do a Barry.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:16, Reply)

I didn't know that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:19, Reply)

I bet Battered didn't either
or he wouldn't have been so careless.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Oh yeah, if you're prone to fits, cocaine'll proper fuck with you.
You'll get some lovely cardiac arrhythmia and possible death by heart attack, to boot.

Edit: I'm alright with skag though, so that's nice.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:23, Reply)

You mean it's blind luck that Battered is still with us?
DAMN YOU LUCK! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Are you going to pull the old
"it's not happened to anyone I know therefore it's impossible" card?

Everybody's different. Drugs affect everybody differently. Battered may not be as susceptible as I am. In any case, I had a seizure from marijuana. I'm not goign to take a drug that carries a bigger risk of seizures. That would be moronic.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:26, Reply)

No, what makes you think I would say that?
I'm happy to take your word that cocaine carries a high risk of seizures if you have epiliepsy and, if that is the case, then it follows that it is lucky (or unlucky) that Battered isn't dead.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:30, Reply)

It fucking is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:06, Reply)

the only time i had it i was sucking and biting on a bloke like a vampire

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)

My stepdad tried to put us off drugs by telling us about how he threw a bucket of water over his mum when he was on acid
because he thought she was on fire. It made me want to try it even more so I did and it was ace.

My mate John smoked crack, he said it was like being god for a few minutes followed by a week of feeling shit. He also gets flashbacks when he sees red london buses as one turned in to a dragon once when he was tripping. LOL!
( Peej, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:24, Reply)

EVERYONE POST IN MY THREAD!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:28, Reply)