TRUFACT - I used to go out with a girl who looked just like Jessica Ennis
Only she had lovely big boobies and an amazing arse.

Not sure of the real relevance here - just thought I'd share.
(King Nightmare, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:10, 10 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

^ more lies posted in on /OT due to QFTW being closed ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Ahhhh good times
*grabs croissant for supreme smugness*

It ended quite badly though :(
(King Nightmare, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:15, Reply)

you should post a picture for the whole class to see
I'm thinking 'chunky'
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:17, Reply)

Fat lookalikes FTW!

(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:18, Reply)

ploppy fingered up a drunk fat bird at some disco in 2007 and now she's become Jessica Ennis in his head

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:21, Reply)

That is a quite disgraceful slander and you'll be hearing from my solicitor!
It was 2008 at least
(King Nightmare, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Probably not fingered. Tops maybe.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

I'm thinking "orca"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:20, Reply)

i see your orca and raise you a male elephant seal.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:29, Reply)

That's the beauty!
I thought those snaps were personal - that's the internet for you!

Excuse me - PHWOOOAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!
(King Nightmare, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)

SOD OFF BALDRICK
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:13, Reply)

TRUFACT - MY DAD IS A PIRATE KING

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:17, Reply)

My dad has a sparrow called Jack.

( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:19, Reply)

I hear that's glorious.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Hurrah!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Didn't think anyone else would actually get that, haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)

My dad is a big fan of G&S.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 15:09, Reply)

here, who's got the eely files? this needs to go in it.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:30, Reply)

TRUFACT - you are a lying cunthorse with tiny tiny penis

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Takes one to know one

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:22, Reply)

POSTING WHERE NAKED APE GOT BADASS ZINGERED WITH FRIES

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Your profile is correct. You aren't funny.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)

I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:30, Reply)

tell us more about how drunk you got

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:54, Reply)

i'm also dubious as to the veracity of this statement

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:22, Reply)

You know how it's pretty amazing that Personality Horse
can write on the internet what with him being a horse and all, should we all be impressed that you can write what with being a pig? Or is it less impressive since pigs are more intelligent than horses?
( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

i'll tell you a secret.
I'm not really a pig. I'm a pig man. A bit like brundlefly, but I don't keep my penis in a jar.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Well whose penis is in that jar then ?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Thing is, you're posting that on the internet
so there is a pretty good chance it's a lie.

I put it to you that you are in fact a pig and you have no right to be posting on the internet at all. You should be rooting in some mud in a sty, not sitting at a keyboard.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Unless he is a micro pig, then he should be racing all the other micro pigs around the kitchen table and through cereal bowls.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I have evidence that not only are they both animals, but they share the same computer


( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)

To Scotland Yard at once!
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:39, Reply)

You say pigs are more intelligent.
Yet the horse appears to be putting more thought into what he is typing, whereas the pig seems to be staring dreamily off into space.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:46, Reply)

The pig has a wonky eye, stop being to fucking predjudiced tangles
it's not the pigs fault it wasn't born looking "perfect" in your eyes.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:49, Reply)

He should be finding me some truffles the lazy cunt.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)

He's probably so flatulent that he can't smell the truffles over the scent of his own guff

( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:36, Reply)

I'll have you know windy pig is twice the man you'll ever be
you wretched cuntbubble.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Why are you trying to be so hurtful mmps?
This is just like that time that I was nice to Quentin and then he said something mean about me. WHY WOULD YOU BE SO MEAN ONLINE!?

I bet you're the one that got arrested for telling Tom Daly he had dishonoured the memory of his dead dad.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:38, Reply)

ur dadz ded LOL!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Why would you say that mmps?
You can't imagine how much it hurts to be reminded of my dad at this difficult time.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:43, Reply)

shit dve, no medulz LOLOLOL!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:45, Reply)

YOU DOUBT ITS VERISIMILITUDE?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

i might challenge him to a duel over it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Choice of weapons?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)

our survey says:
BLUNDERBUSS
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)

GREAT HORNY TOADS!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)

TRUFACT - Dogs have no sense of fair play

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:23, Reply)

I believe you. Plenty of girls like that around and they've all had boyfriends I'm sure.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

TRUFACT - rats cannot vomit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

TRUFACT - I can after 12 pints with Jeff.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Surely if her boobs and arse were different
then she didn't look "like her" at all?

That's like saying "I shagged a bird that looked like Cindy Crawford, except for her head and body."
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)

I was talking from a purely 'facial features' perspective

(King Nightmare, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Shame really
Seeing as how visually that's the least interesting thing about her.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)

That's possibly the most autistic comment I've seen today.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)

haha yeah, she does look a bit like gary lineker in drag
/ac
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Haha, is there NOTHING that crazy twat won't try??
/ac
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Doritos.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)

dunno, probably just stuck it up there for safe keeping. kids!
/ac
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)