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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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Urghhhhh. I looked at my watch in the pub and it was 12:40.
How did that happen? Stupid pubs not closing when they're supposed to. Met some nice foreigns though inc a Spaniard who is here with Spanish TV for the Dulympics, amusingly (to me) he fucking hates sport.

I am slightly dying. Revive me with some LOLarity please.

Alt: WEEKEND, IS IT?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:08, 154 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Morning Monts
How about this.
www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/aug/02/celebrities-quit-twitter-abuse
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:12, Reply)
That's sick, Kirsty would neve let a black man into her vagina

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:17, Reply)
spadelolz

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:18, Reply)
I like Kirsty.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:18, Reply)
Hahahahah
'I will not accept being told to shoot my own womb or bleed to death with a spade in my vagina by anyone'
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:17, Reply)
I reckon 2.0 has driven Rory to twitter

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:18, Reply)
Being sensible for a moment, it does seem a tad harsh

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:20, Reply)
They should have said please, I agree.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:23, Reply)
The youth of today eh?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:25, Reply)
Dear Kirsty,
May I kindly request you drown in your own aids riddled menstrual blood please.

Many thanks,

Kind regards

Mr. W Pig. PhD.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:25, Reply)
There, you see?
It costs nothing, you know.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:26, Reply)
That would just be Dr W Pig, you spaz.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:27, Reply)
Who are you calling a spaz, you diabetic turd-wrangler?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:29, Reply)
You, you fat fingered hippy.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:31, Reply)
RIGHT THAT'S IT

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:32, Reply)
Are you coming to the LOLbash in Sept?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:32, Reply)
I hope so.
Haven't put my name down after the last debacle.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:34, Reply)
No-one will judge you*


*to your face
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:38, Reply)
Hahahaha
Thanks Dog, I really need a sermon after being arrested.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:48, Reply)
It was copywriting like this that sent Clinton Cards bust

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:27, Reply)
I have next week off from the day job.
I am going to finish Money today, then read more Amis.

He really is rather good. I must also get my copy of The Satanic Verses back from my mate, he lent me Mein Kampf in return.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:16, Reply)
comedy is dead.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:20, Reply)
I wish YOU were dead, Winders

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:23, Reply)
well i never.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:23, Reply)
I don't know why SOME PEOPLE feel the need to be rude, I really don't.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:24, Reply)
Alt: blousie, noel and a music festival.
Morning montague. I hope you went straight home to bed when you realised the time.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:21, Reply)
I sure did, Davlington.
Do pass on my warmest regards to Biggles, and tell Noel he's a racist shit-end. Thanks x
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:24, Reply)
Will do, squire.
The wife's been up all night cleaning. Hardcore or what?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:26, Reply)
Str8 up G4NG$T4, G-money.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:28, Reply)
+ my bellend

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:28, Reply)
I'm rather jealous of your weekend.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:28, Reply)
I'm rather looking forward to it.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)
WEEKEND INDEED.
I've been studying the glycolytic, gluconeogenic, and citric acid cycles today. Tonight I am Seeing Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Slayer. Looking forward to it very much.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:24, Reply)
SPOILER ALERT:
He ends up president of America.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:25, Reply)
I hear his nemisis the vampire John Wilkes Booth gets the last laugh

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:28, Reply)
I feel Monty may have a comment for this post
Morning/evening pops
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:26, Reply)
Evening :)
I'm sure he will but that's okay.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)
Morning Monty
No LOLS from me at the minute, have had a quiet week.

Alt: My brother's wedding this weekend, then I'm meeting up with old friends on Sunday, should be an excellent weekend!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:27, Reply)
No doubt Neil Buchanan is the best man?
Really AA will your lies NEVER end?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:30, Reply)
Not THAT brother Monty, FFS!
GOD! It's like you don't know me AT ALL!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:30, Reply)
Sorry who are you again?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:31, Reply)
YM LOL

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Lezza

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:39, Reply)
Woah, I'm going to a wedding tomorrow
Two weddings on the same day? Coincidence? I DON'T THINK SO!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:31, Reply)
Two weddings? Well that is going to require....
TWO HATS!! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I don't get it.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:37, Reply)
It's probably 'META' or something

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)
I'm watching you, pal.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:47, Reply)
So that WAS you lurking round by my bins last night.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)
I have somewhat of a hangover this morning also
Red wine and Leffe Brun are not a good mix. I've been up since 4:30am due to lolarious "work issues" getting on my tits and am off to hospital to have some kind of spaz-robot attached to try and find out if I'm going to die.

On the plus side, I'm meeting DG (and possibly Tourettes for the first time) in the pub at lunchtime

Alt:
Weekend plans are not to die and off to in-laws for a 30th wedding anniversary BBQ and much Stella
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:29, Reply)
Tourettes is ace.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:30, Reply)
I think you may be correct

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:34, Reply)
SPOILER ALERT:
Yes, you are going to die.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:30, Reply)
I suspect this is true

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:33, Reply)
MORNING SPORTY HOWS THE HANGOVER?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:31, Reply)
Not too bad at the moment, ta
I see bacon ahead though
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:33, Reply)
Bacon is always the answer.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:35, Reply)
Not if the question is 'what's the best brithday present for a massive Jewboy?'

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:36, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH BA END STRIKETHROUGH DE

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:36, Reply)
Just B not Ba?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:38, Reply)
A-Team lolz

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Decon?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:41, Reply)
BONGLE!

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)
30th?! Just how old are you?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:36, Reply)
Mrs Cows parents, not mine

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:44, Reply)
She can't make it.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Awwwww

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)
I noes.
She's been in full on insomniac cleaning mode all night. I suspect she'll be catching up on sleep shortly.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Alright Monce
Look at what I made
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:30, Reply)
Shut up did you make that.
It's fucken LOVELY is that.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:31, Reply)
I did too!
Cheers. Turned out quite nice. I want to put a bigsby on it, but I'm far too impatient to save up for one.
The neck p'up is really warm and the bridge is twangier than the tin man's ballbag. Blended together they sound REALLY nice.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:32, Reply)
I really did turn out nice.
How much did the whole venture cost, if you don't mind me asking? If you do mind, can you just tell me anyway but resent it?

Thanks awfully x
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Well the body was a gift, so I'm not entirely sure
The neck was about 60 quid off eBay, everything else was about 80-ish. Some would argue that you could buy Squier tele for about the same price, but where's the fun in that?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:37, Reply)
May I recommend:
myworld.ebay.co.uk/secoguitarsworldwide/?_trksid=p4340.l2559

and

axesrus.com/
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:39, Reply)
And these guys make excellent pickups
www.guitarfetish.com/

But us poor Brits get screwed on import tax. Makes it slightly less of a bargain.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Innit doe.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Oh man my guitar buying days are well behind me.
Lucky I already have six, eh readers?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)
I can't stop myself
I think I may have a problem.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Peter Sutcliffe

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)
STOP
Hammer time.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:48, Reply)
*sings*
We've got to bray, just to make it today
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Worst episode of Stars in their Eyes, EVER

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Ooooooooooooooo!
I likes
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Cheers
It's the second tele I've built actually. The other one's not hollow though.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:37, Reply)
Ooh shiny

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:36, Reply)
It sure is!

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:37, Reply)
Some wacky looking cunt is taking up three seats with his bike on the train
If you've got bike fucking ride it you fingerless leather glove wearing cunt wart!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:33, Reply)
Sit on his bike

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:34, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH BIKE END STRIKETHROUGH COCK!!!!

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:35, Reply)
You want him to ride his bike in the carriage?
You really are a peculiar fellow Nakie-noo, has anyone ever told you that before?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:35, Reply)
Is he wearing a long leather jacket, by any chance?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:35, Reply)
Nah, shorts and a wife beater
Plus shit tattoos and hair like wolverine. I hope a cement mixer squashes him against a bus then urban foxes rape his twitching corpse
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:38, Reply)
I feel the same way about you.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:39, Reply)
So it's NOT Kaol then?
Phew, you should feel lucky, he could well have stabbed you!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:39, Reply)
WITH A WAKKI SNAKE!!!!

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:41, Reply)
I take back all my previous comments about cyclists...
Because


Despite everything I have said in the past



I am buying a bike this weekend.

I feel like such a fraud.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Me on Battered's new bike, earlier
www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2008/08/its_the_caption_competition_a.shtml
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:42, Reply)
That number 2 caption is excellent.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)
I was thinking that Monty's caption was far funnier than any of them
and his wasn't that funny.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Git.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Tell us its a Raleigh Chopper.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)


(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:48, Reply)

Chopper Budgie
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Not made my mind up but probably something like this
www.evanscycles.com/products/cannondale/quick-sl2-2012-hybrid-bike-ec031498#features
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Lots of spec there.
The brother of an Ex of mine, once commented that his gears cost more than my entire bike. I could only reply that I was sure my car cost more than his bike.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Do you really need to spend £700 on a bike?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I don't need to.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:58, Reply)
I feel I should state here
I borrowed Mein Kampf out of interest. I only managed to read a bit, it's turgid, overlong, badly written and clearly written by someone in awe of their own writing 'talent'. It's as if it was composed by an anti-Semitic Pooflake.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Do you feel that you should state it here because no one responded to your original mention of it?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:45, Reply)
no, just it's a book with a lot of baggage.
I'm not a Hitlerite, I leave that to Monty.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I feel I should state here
that you are a right helmet.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:48, Reply)
+ wing

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Olympics joke from Sickipedia
"It's ironic that Team GB's first gold medal was won by two women reversing."
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:47, Reply)
That's not ironic.
GO AND LOOK UP IRONY ON WIKIPEDIA!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:51, Reply)
*SOMETHING ABOUT IRONING*

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)
I might buy this:
blahblahtshirts.com/product_info.php?products_id=22¤cy=GBP
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Really? Why on earth would you want that?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Because me and the Dog are tight, brah.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:54, Reply)
I want this for work...
www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001K3GRE4/ref=redir_mdp_mobile
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:53, Reply)
I want this for work:
www.spreadshirt.com/totenkopf-skull-ss-germany-hitler-nazi-t-C3376A7160837
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:55, Reply)
What about a Nazi mankini?
Offensive on many levels
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Good thinking, Tee Aitch, very good thinking indeed.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Would have made the Nuremberg rally very different. ....

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:02, Reply)
You are Nick Griffin AICMFP
any reason why the link is to a heavyweight women's T-shirt?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Because you are gay?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Or you were searching for best fit?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Batteredlolz

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Am also slightly dying.
Met with Rakky for a civilised drink last night, staggered home at closing time and am now bloody hungover but I remember agreeing that we are going to do roller derby.


Alt: have to work over the weekend. And eat meat.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Hard times, brah.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:00, Reply)
I might still be drunk. The text on the screen is wobbling.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:00, Reply)
I hear ya. My mouth tastes revolting.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:02, Reply)
8 days until my kid's back. 8 fucking days.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Do you want to borrow one in the meantime?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)
if I get horny I'll just nick one from a hospital or something.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:08, Reply)
I just bought a Nexus 7
I don't need it but I want it. What a waste of 200 quid!
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:06, Reply)
I totally know what one of those is.
Are you coming to the LOLbash, Phillie Phil?

I do hope so.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Stoopid pubs. Not closing on time.
My mouth tastes like Monty's kitchen floor. Filthy.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:10, Reply)
Selfish publican cunts.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:11, Reply)
It was all me, me, me.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:14, Reply)
Haha 5am kitchen Barry rape

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Where is the Bazmeister?

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Wormwood Scrubs

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Hasn't been seen around these parts since he was accused, tried and found guilty in an internet court of justice of stealing from you.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:19, Reply)
All forgotten.
Baz is a nice lad.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:20, Reply)
THE INTERNET HAS SPOKEN

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:21, Reply)
RESPECT MA AUTHORITAH!

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:22, Reply)
and yet the internet never forgets, there'd be at least eleventeen mentions of it a day if he was around

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:23, Reply)
What you say doesn't matter
no one else wil ever let it go, Rory particularly
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Poor, poor Baz.

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:23, Reply)
fuck off, i've been a tower of strength for barry during this tawdry affair
IVE GOT THE GAZZEZ TO PROVE IT
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:25, Reply)
LOLarity
4 whole marajuanas

Alt: Sod all. Fancy a curry?
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Injected marijuana?
Right-ho.
(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:24, Reply)
4 whole marajuanas stunned

(, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 9:25, Reply)

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