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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Assuming you have a job/career, what would you do if you got laid off?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19236030
Happy or sad? I got booted last month, and it's given me the kick up the arse to go back to uni, so it was pretty much a good thing. However, if you've got family committments, I'd imagine it's shit.
Alt, breakfast, brunch or lunch.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:30, 124 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19236030
Happy or sad? I got booted last month, and it's given me the kick up the arse to go back to uni, so it was pretty much a good thing. However, if you've got family committments, I'd imagine it's shit.
Alt, breakfast, brunch or lunch.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:30, 124 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I'm fairly confident I could get a similar job quickly
Not sure I'd have the balls to try something else though with kiddies to support. The Mrs could go back full time
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Not sure I'd have the balls to try something else though with kiddies to support. The Mrs could go back full time
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
I could probably go back to my previous job
since I keep hearing how they're struggling without me *buffs fingernails on shirt*
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:08, Reply)
since I keep hearing how they're struggling without me *buffs fingernails on shirt*
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Run around in circles flapping my arms and weeping
Alt: I'm never really hungry in the mornings so I'll say lunch. Today lunch is a chicken and sweetcorn sammich.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Alt: I'm never really hungry in the mornings so I'll say lunch. Today lunch is a chicken and sweetcorn sammich.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
I dunno, but I do wonder why the fuck the press publish meaningless little surveys
from random bodies as "God's Honest Truth"TM
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
from random bodies as "God's Honest Truth"TM
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
I'd say Bugger, that's a bit inconvenient
Then I'd go out and get another job.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Then I'd go out and get another job.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Yeah, I'd be utterly fucked.
Someone would likely get their shit fucked up.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Someone would likely get their shit fucked up.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:39, Reply)
It's alright, my job is fairly safe,I think.
I work for a company that makes software that means other companies don't have to hire as many people.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I work for a company that makes software that means other companies don't have to hire as many people.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Are they currently undergoing an expansion and increasing their workforce by about 10%?
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:59, Reply)
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:59, Reply)
Find out how much cash I was getting, email the headhunters I know, get pissed.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:42, Reply)
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I'd tender my badge and piece and say "Adios stoopid chief, say hi to the mayor for me"
and then walk through his door without opening it and head to a bar and get Lloyd to give me a bottle of bourbon and a shot glass and get spankered before starting a fight with a midget and a bear and John McEnroe.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:44, Reply)
and then walk through his door without opening it and head to a bar and get Lloyd to give me a bottle of bourbon and a shot glass and get spankered before starting a fight with a midget and a bear and John McEnroe.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I got redundified in Nov 2009.
I was out of work for 5 months and eventually got the worst job ever. Took another 18 months to land my current gig.
On the plus side, chicks dig me.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:46, Reply)
I was out of work for 5 months and eventually got the worst job ever. Took another 18 months to land my current gig.
On the plus side, chicks dig me.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:46, Reply)
I have now been in my job for 15 years and 2 days
Redundancy would be quite profitable
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Redundancy would be quite profitable
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:48, Reply)
The problem with contract work
is that they are entirely within their rights to tell you for 11 months out of 12 that your contract will almost certainly be renewed and then shit on you from a great and splattery height 30 days before your original expiry date by saying that actually they don't need you for another year after all, thanks very much for all the hard work, cheerybye. This may yet happen to me before Christmas.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:49, Reply)
is that they are entirely within their rights to tell you for 11 months out of 12 that your contract will almost certainly be renewed and then shit on you from a great and splattery height 30 days before your original expiry date by saying that actually they don't need you for another year after all, thanks very much for all the hard work, cheerybye. This may yet happen to me before Christmas.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:49, Reply)
i'm surprised nobody has suggested searching his grandmother's attic
perhaps standards on here have improved a bit
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:03, Reply)
perhaps standards on here have improved a bit
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:03, Reply)
I like the way you have suggested it without giving the appearance of suggesting it
plausible deniability.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:10, Reply)
plausible deniability.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:10, Reply)
He was an olympic volunteer
got drunk with the Tajikistan wrestling team last night, has just woken up in the cargo hold of Air Tajikistan Olympic Flight 1 stark naked.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:14, Reply)
got drunk with the Tajikistan wrestling team last night, has just woken up in the cargo hold of Air Tajikistan Olympic Flight 1 stark naked.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:14, Reply)
this int far from t'truth
I met the aussie team last week, they was well buff and were going around siginig everything and taking photos with people
I didn't know who any of them were, but some of them were deffinately volleyballers from the look of theur bottoms
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:23, Reply)
I met the aussie team last week, they was well buff and were going around siginig everything and taking photos with people
I didn't know who any of them were, but some of them were deffinately volleyballers from the look of theur bottoms
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:23, Reply)
I went to uni after being redundanated. Going into my final year now and then I intend to be
a teacher 'til my folks die then spend all their money killing myself with drink and drugs on some island paradise.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:55, Reply)
a teacher 'til my folks die then spend all their money killing myself with drink and drugs on some island paradise.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 10:55, Reply)
^^this
unless the redundancy wedge has improved considerably, which I doubt.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:09, Reply)
unless the redundancy wedge has improved considerably, which I doubt.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:09, Reply)
i was fired last year, the day after we completed on our first house.
I tried to stay positive and spin it that it would mean I had time to "get the new place sorted"
It actually meant we didn't eat much other than rice for s couple of months.
But, it meant I got out of restaurants and back in to pubs, and realised how much I had missed having time to have a social life. But the pub industry is surprisingly buoyant despite what you hear, so in not worried really.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:04, Reply)
I tried to stay positive and spin it that it would mean I had time to "get the new place sorted"
It actually meant we didn't eat much other than rice for s couple of months.
But, it meant I got out of restaurants and back in to pubs, and realised how much I had missed having time to have a social life. But the pub industry is surprisingly buoyant despite what you hear, so in not worried really.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:04, Reply)
I've noticed that, around here restraunts are coming and going quickly.
but gastropubs seem to be busy all the time.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:11, Reply)
but gastropubs seem to be busy all the time.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Gastropubs should make their sodding minds up.
Pub, or restaurant please, not an overpriced pub.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Pub, or restaurant please, not an overpriced pub.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:18, Reply)
So many pubs have closed down in my neighbourhood.
Only 4 left, out of loads 15 years ago. I suppose it's easy to blame the smoking ban, but I'm sure that's contributed a tad.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Only 4 left, out of loads 15 years ago. I suppose it's easy to blame the smoking ban, but I'm sure that's contributed a tad.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:12, Reply)
It has a bit, but
Supermarkets selling cheap beer and greedy brewing companies have a lot more to do with it IMO.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Supermarkets selling cheap beer and greedy brewing companies have a lot more to do with it IMO.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:24, Reply)
If I just wanted to get pissed, I'd stay at home with a bottle.
I go to the pub to meet people, socialise etc, as I'm sure most do. Beer has just gone up 20p in my local. That's the sodding landlord, not the breweries.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:29, Reply)
I go to the pub to meet people, socialise etc, as I'm sure most do. Beer has just gone up 20p in my local. That's the sodding landlord, not the breweries.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:29, Reply)
It's a free house,
and he's a greedy twat.
£1.60 for a glass of soda and blackcurrant ffs.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:34, Reply)
and he's a greedy twat.
£1.60 for a glass of soda and blackcurrant ffs.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:34, Reply)
you'd be surprised how much more beer costs when youre a free housr,
And one way to counteract loss leading products like premium lager is to bump up soft drink prices. Admittedly I wouldn't charge for soda, but do you know how much a box of coke syrup costs compared to how much you pay?
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:43, Reply)
And one way to counteract loss leading products like premium lager is to bump up soft drink prices. Admittedly I wouldn't charge for soda, but do you know how much a box of coke syrup costs compared to how much you pay?
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:43, Reply)
When I worked at a cinema they paid a flat rate a year.
Use as much syrup as they wanted.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Use as much syrup as they wanted.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:44, Reply)
yup,
Same in places like bowling alleys. It costs literally pence a glass.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Same in places like bowling alleys. It costs literally pence a glass.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Indeed
the sort of management that have been known to expect their staff to sell up to 10% more beer than is actually in the barrel.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:35, Reply)
the sort of management that have been known to expect their staff to sell up to 10% more beer than is actually in the barrel.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:35, Reply)
really?
that's proper retarded. Even the short pipe run in our old bar would cost you a couple of pints per barrel change, you can't even sell as many as there are in a barrel...
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:39, Reply)
that's proper retarded. Even the short pipe run in our old bar would cost you a couple of pints per barrel change, you can't even sell as many as there are in a barrel...
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:39, Reply)
My local is a cask place, with about 12 different brews at any one time,
and they lose a few pints per barrel from "tasters", real ale buffs wanting a crafty sample.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:43, Reply)
and they lose a few pints per barrel from "tasters", real ale buffs wanting a crafty sample.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:43, Reply)
and ullage,
And line cleans, and topping off, and spillage and so on.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:44, Reply)
And line cleans, and topping off, and spillage and so on.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:44, Reply)
also,
Do the maths on pints per barrel. Average 50ml sample, 568 ml in a uk pint.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Do the maths on pints per barrel. Average 50ml sample, 568 ml in a uk pint.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Struggling to find a link for it
but unless my memory is playing tricks was one of the big pubcos up north (probably taken over by someone else now) a few years ago.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:50, Reply)
but unless my memory is playing tricks was one of the big pubcos up north (probably taken over by someone else now) a few years ago.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:50, Reply)
probably.
Basically, fullers, MandB, and Greene king pretty much own the lot.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Basically, fullers, MandB, and Greene king pretty much own the lot.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:52, Reply)
And that at least half of pubs in the UK in the year 2012
haven't worked out how to keep a toilet clean.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:41, Reply)
haven't worked out how to keep a toilet clean.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:41, Reply)
There used to ba a little boozer in the middle of nowhere, near where |I lived,
"The Moorcock",massively old dear ran it, the bar was her converted lounge, and she sold only bottles. Took about 10 minutes of her shuffling around in her slippers to get served. Anyway, only women were permitted to use her private toilet, guys had to go outside and piss up the wall.
Top place.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:48, Reply)
"The Moorcock",massively old dear ran it, the bar was her converted lounge, and she sold only bottles. Took about 10 minutes of her shuffling around in her slippers to get served. Anyway, only women were permitted to use her private toilet, guys had to go outside and piss up the wall.
Top place.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I assume you're talking roast spuds, from the freezer?
Don't get me started on frozen Yorkshire puds...
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Don't get me started on frozen Yorkshire puds...
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Tries replying to your above post, and was told it was thread deleted. It's not now, must be B3TA gremlins.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:02, Reply)
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:02, Reply)
the problem i find is everyone thinks they know how to run a pub,
And that all pubs are effected in the same way by changes in social culture, pricing, legislation etc, when really each one is an individual business, managed properly can do very well. The 10 pubs I'm linked with are showing huge growth at the moment, as are many pub companies.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:41, Reply)
And that all pubs are effected in the same way by changes in social culture, pricing, legislation etc, when really each one is an individual business, managed properly can do very well. The 10 pubs I'm linked with are showing huge growth at the moment, as are many pub companies.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:41, Reply)
what the actual fuck...
... i just googled the number of calories in fruit mentos, as the packet is suspiciously quiet on the point. for some reason i decided to trust yahoo for the answer. and someone had asked THIS question, came up along the bottom. how thick can you get?
Is it legal to order an egg mcmuffin from McDonald's without ham?
I'm scared that they'll get mad and say I'm protesting government then arrest me :\ please help. Is it okay?
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:20, Reply)
... i just googled the number of calories in fruit mentos, as the packet is suspiciously quiet on the point. for some reason i decided to trust yahoo for the answer. and someone had asked THIS question, came up along the bottom. how thick can you get?
Is it legal to order an egg mcmuffin from McDonald's without ham?
I'm scared that they'll get mad and say I'm protesting government then arrest me :\ please help. Is it okay?
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Do egg mcmuffins contain ham?
I'm far too cultured to eat at "fast food" cafeterias.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:27, Reply)
I'm far too cultured to eat at "fast food" cafeterias.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:27, Reply)
i have no idea
but why the fuck would it be illegal to order it without?
maybe if you were underage and you'd asked them to soak it in booze. or pot. or crack. but without ham?
fucking tard.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:29, Reply)
but why the fuck would it be illegal to order it without?
maybe if you were underage and you'd asked them to soak it in booze. or pot. or crack. but without ham?
fucking tard.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:29, Reply)
"please help"
Just suggest they kill themselves immediately, that's the best help you can offer.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Just suggest they kill themselves immediately, that's the best help you can offer.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Your response should be:
"No, McDonalds is in bed with the large pig-manufactoring conglomerates who are, themselves, funding your Government's re-election campaigns. They will alert their bosses when ham is declined who then pass it up the chain. They will watch you through security cameras to ascertain whether or not you're a malcontent. The Government put an additive in ham to keep people docile. It is within their interests to watch you. Be warned. Don't allow yourself to be like the rest of these sheeple".
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:41, Reply)
"No, McDonalds is in bed with the large pig-manufactoring conglomerates who are, themselves, funding your Government's re-election campaigns. They will alert their bosses when ham is declined who then pass it up the chain. They will watch you through security cameras to ascertain whether or not you're a malcontent. The Government put an additive in ham to keep people docile. It is within their interests to watch you. Be warned. Don't allow yourself to be like the rest of these sheeple".
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:41, Reply)
At statutory I'd get a little over a month's wages
so I'd have a bit of breathing space, but not fucking much. I would likely panic and join the popo.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:39, Reply)
so I'd have a bit of breathing space, but not fucking much. I would likely panic and join the popo.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:39, Reply)
I would also cry
it's taken me years to decide what I wanted to do and get a proper job in it. I'd probably end up trying to work as a photographer or picture editor for magazines or something, but the industry for that is completely fucked, too.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:43, Reply)
it's taken me years to decide what I wanted to do and get a proper job in it. I'd probably end up trying to work as a photographer or picture editor for magazines or something, but the industry for that is completely fucked, too.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:43, Reply)
I'd probably moan about it on the internet, sweat a bit and then have a hate wank
I am eating my ham and salmai sandwich right now, didn't even make it to midday =(
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I am eating my ham and salmai sandwich right now, didn't even make it to midday =(
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:53, Reply)
damn right
and I've realised how lazy I am about now when I think of the things I was meant to do and haven't yet and we're back in on MOnday
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)
and I've realised how lazy I am about now when I think of the things I was meant to do and haven't yet and we're back in on MOnday
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:59, Reply)
This is an interesting article
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug/11/syria-rebel-regime-sunni-alawite
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:54, Reply)
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug/11/syria-rebel-regime-sunni-alawite
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Dalai lama walks into pizzahut
And says "make me one with everything"
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:18, Reply)
And says "make me one with everything"
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Dalai lama is working behind the bar at his local pub
A man comes in and pays him a fiver for a pint of Shandy, the Dalai Lama takes his money and fails to give hime any change. The man complains about this and the Dalai lama quietly points out that "Change must come from within"...
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:19, Reply)
A man comes in and pays him a fiver for a pint of Shandy, the Dalai Lama takes his money and fails to give hime any change. The man complains about this and the Dalai lama quietly points out that "Change must come from within"...
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:19, Reply)
I'd be a bit gutted but I know I Wong have any problem finding work.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:34, Reply)
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 12:34, Reply)
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