Off Topic
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1
« Go Back |
Popular
Thread 4
Has anyone got any loo roll related news?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:22,
128 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
No afraid not
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
No, me neither.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
Ditto
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
I only have one loo roll left.
So tomorrow I have to go into the attic and get some more down.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
shattic
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Send your lazy wife up to get them.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
Al Frank?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
She's going to Chester this weekend
leaving my to wipe my arse on newspaper.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
Poor wifing, right there.
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
Maybe he needs a new router
I could set it up for him
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
You terrible penis.
Go throw yourself under a bus.
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
I thought you'd like that
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
Is that not an inconvenient place to keep shitpaper?
(
ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
It is difficult climbing the loft ladder with your kecks round your ankles
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
I don't keep all of it there
we have a loo roll holder which stores about 5 rolls. When they run out we get more out of the loft.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
Airing cupboard for us, warm bum wiping ftw.
(
ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
That's glass fibre insulation btw
might explain your "troubles"
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
That itches to read
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
A real man would use a belt sander
coated in cactus spines and chili powder
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
i know I felt bad typing it
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
The Andrex puppy
And the Dulux dog both have the same agent.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
But which is the better lover?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
Andrex
Soft, strong and very, very long
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Dulux delivers a matte, satin or gloss finish on demand.
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
hahahaha!
Think of the pubes though
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
And one coat is enough
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
You?
Casting couch time
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
I call it
Kennel Club.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
For Unlawful Kennel Knowledge
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
Naughty Jeff.
The first rule of Kennel Club is....
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
Proper breeding
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
I have a defective loo roll,
I've had 3 poos since starting the roll and yet to find any perforations to indicate the end of one sheet and the beginning of the next. How am I supposed to properly ration loo roll without it? It's bedlam.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Compain.
Write them a strongly worded letter, on the bog roll. Use your own shit as punctuation.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
THIS BOG ROLL IS --------->
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
Is that how you got the mod job?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
You noes it.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
What, you don't have bathroom scissors?
You heathen.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
Don't buy triple velvet with aloe vera.
It's shit.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
+for
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
I don't, I buy the cheap stuff.
I don't feel like I've achieved anything if I don't leave a layer of skin behind.
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
layer of skin shitty finger in my
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MagCoUYvIXE
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
Given the subject matter in this subthread
the chances of me clicking that link at work are infinitesimal
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
It's only a song
and perfectly SFW
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
It is well known that vegetarians are untrustworthy.
Like gypsies.
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
Big hands
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
*applauds*
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
I made a garage for sportscalf's cars using a tissue box and toilet roll tubes
Does this count?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
That kid is going to get the shit kicked out of him when he starts school.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
He is hard as nails
and also has a proper car garage
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
A proper garage to you is a shoe box and some bog rolls?
Fucking Northerners. If you lot stopped nicking shit and got proper jobs, you'd be able to afford garages made out of bricks.
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
G.T.F
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
I'm trying to help you turn your life around :(
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
I am worried the wife may have bought a house this afternoon
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
But it will only be an apple box or something.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
I posted this last night but it is very nice
www.charleschurch.com/tyne-and-wear_whitley-bay/glebe-rise-1254
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
You bastards with your reasonable property prices
*shakes fist*
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
mwahahaha!!!
Top floor master suite here we come!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
"Bought".
I think you mean "stolen"
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
"Acquired"
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
You could ave bought my old flat off me and still had change for an Aston Martin of your own
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
This is true
No, I'm rather excited by this house
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
Is this the new build by the sea?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
Yep
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
Well congratulations, i hope you and teh herd are very happy there :)
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
Me too
It usefully backs onto some playing fields for the dog to run round on too
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
How fucking small are your children?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:36,
Reply)
Big where it counts
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
You filthy nonce.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
You knows it
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
Me, I prefer my paedos covered in a soapy lather.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
I like mine glittering like a king
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
eGadd
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
I can't stop fingering my iGadd
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
Clean to the squeak
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
Toilet paper thread wins \o/
Right, screw you lot. I'm going home.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
Shit thread wins
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Excrement! !
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
*golf craps*
EDIT
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
no need to be faeces-tious
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
stop pooh-poohing everything!
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
Ok I will, I'm of to the pub. Later losers
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
Go on then, scat!
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
This threads gone to the dogs (bot)
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
Time to log out
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
After having little warning and going in a pub with no bog roll I had to wipe my arse with the reicepts in my wallet.
This has upset my hoop and ends up with me grazing it every time I go for a shit.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
You eat grass whilst shitting?
Are you another cow?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
Hahahahahahaha I think CQ has been giving flouncing lessons
www.metro.co.uk/news/908826-jeremy-clarkson-lays-into-british-as-twitter-trolls-mock-death-of-his-dog
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
I liked "how does it smell?"
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
We Invented spazzing out on teh interweb
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
I hope he joins it soon.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
CQ or JC?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
He's saying he hopes Clarkson also dies soon.
(
Kroney, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
My housemate puts the loo roll on the WRONG way, and it distresses me.
Tonight was a fiasco. I'm staying in and hiding from the world and never going out again. People suck.
(
Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
Are you back at home yet?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
What happened?
Did you bump into him, her or them both?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
Three cigarettes in the ash tray
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
Both. I was at the bar.
and they walked in together. And he locked eyes with me and I was just absolutely gutted and angry at the same time. I had to leave.
(
Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
Probably for the best you did
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
Oh man, it's just like a scene from Neighbours!!!!!!!
I didn't think people actually did this sort of thing in real life.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
*haroldchins*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
I was about ready to slap him, burst into tears, and shout at them both.
As it was, I held it together enough to wish them a very sarcastic goodnight, before walking out.
(
Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
you should discuss this with Madge Ramsey, she's pretty good at relationship advise
well apart from her numerous failed marriages
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
nah, madge can go fuck herself, she's a massive slag who will blow a prostitute and pay for the privilege.
(
Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
dob them in to flathead Fisher
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
who?
(
Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
Your ex headmaster
GAWD
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
You see, to you it was a sarcastic goodnight.
But to them you went "Buurrrrrr..Hu..Hu..Hu...G..G..G..Good..N..N..Night..Hu..Hu...Hu"
You should have just walked past his ex, looked at her shoes, pointed and said "You've got something on your shoes" then when she looked down you slap her in the face and laugh as you walk away.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
Really you should have seduced him for a quicky in the toilets
and then walked out past his ex rubbed your fingers on your crotch and then flicked his still warm semen in her face, laughed and then left.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
AS if I'm going to give him any kind of gratification like that.
(
Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
That one must have been on Home and Away I fear
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
Hahahahaha
Best revenge ever
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
People saying this always makes me think of this
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10829206
(
chthonic, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
Don't open the which way round....
the toilet paper should go again, that one should never be repeated
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
For all the good it does me I might as well wipe my arse with it!
...Wipe my arse...Hello?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
:|
Afternoon HatHat
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
Ahoy hoy Hartley Hare
Actually, I think there's another B3tan called HatHat. I asked him what his angle was...didn't answer.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
Yeah, there he is. Cheeky sod.
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=50567
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
Whoops did not know that old boy
Hope no offence was caused and all that
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
Oh not at all
He stays out of my business, I stay out of his.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
It would be goodbye if you are wiping, non?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
Not the way I do it mate
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
I'm not sure what that means
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
Say hello, wipe goodbye
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
What a delightfully rich culture yours is
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
Jeremy Clarkson words it better
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1707415
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
should this not be thread number two?
LOL
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
PLEASE SOMEONE START A NEW THREAD
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 17 Aug 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
« Go Back |
Reply To This »
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1