He read somewhere online that chicks dig beards.
So he's putting it out there that he's growing a beard.
One of those attractive single, funny and smart female lurkers will see this and a seed of desire will grow.
it'll be hard at first for them to fall in love but he'll win her heart and move her into his passion palace in Slough.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 14:45, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Slough Milton Keynes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 14:50, Reply)

passion paperclip
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Has The Baroness improved your technique any, Chompy?
Last I heard, and I hear a lot, it was like an unloved engine. All banging pistons and fuck-all lubrication.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 14:57, Reply)

That kind of implies that there are funny, smart, attractive females on the internet
which we all know is LIES.
Assuming there *were* any birds on the internet (which there aren't) then they'd all be huge fat sweaty virgins.
Or huge fat sweaty slags.
You know, like on here.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:01, Reply)

No, Chompy must be right
They are all obviously lurking and drooling over our posts.
The poor luststruck things.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:03, Reply)

If only they took the first step of posting about their lunch...

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:04, Reply)

lunch snugglesacks
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Actually, now I think about it, where ARE all the girls?
It's a little testosteroney in here today.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:11, Reply)

That word makes me vom in my mouth a little.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:14, Reply)

What about 'cuddlemonkey'?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:15, Reply)

That just reminds me of Orvils annoying mate

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Keith Harris?
Ithankyew
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:18, Reply)

That's "snookums" or "flufffybunny" to you

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)

I bet all they need is a good seeing-to
amirite?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:07, Reply)

b3th I've put RachelSwipe on ignore for a reason.
If she's deliberatly logging out to get around the ignore system b3ta has put into place I think it's fair you mod edit her posts to blank.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:16, Reply)

The only way you'd know this is if you were logging out
to see what she was saying about you.

Just to point out the obvious.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Not the point, I don't respond to her posts, I've tried repeatedly to get her to leave me alone.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:24, Reply)

it's easy to do
you say, "sorry, i admit i didn't really treat you very well."

and then the whole thing goes away, like magic.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:26, Reply)

did you two fuck or what

( Theoban What of it, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)

I think, now, i might be wrong, but Quentin fucked chompy's mrs, and then told swipey,
who fucked chompy, and then q fucked swipe, and then monty gave them all some drugs, that got nicked by kroney, who then flounced off after calling swipeys boyfriend a stripper, and some fella called bert was the mastermind of the whole thing, and something to do with batshitmentalist and baically all the bashes are actually some sort of swingers party organised by a man who dresses in steampunk and can't ride a bicycle.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Sounds pretty normal to me

( Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:12, Reply)

alright alan.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:14, Reply)

A-FUCKING-HAAAAAAA

( Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:15, Reply)

you know for ages I thought monty and bert were the same person

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)

They are clever buggers,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)

they'll be able to use door handles soon
clever girls
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)

WP you are an asset to this place. An asset.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)

So say sorry, I guess.

( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:29, Reply)

I have absolutley nothing to apologise for, no matter what you've heard.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:29, Reply)

The absolute entirety of one side of the story.
I have also heard one side of some other stories.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:32, Reply)

I'm very impressed.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:33, Reply)

I'm not trying to impress you
I couldn't give a fuck what other people get up to.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Thats good because...
(I'm not really impressed)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I'm very much of the
"you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone" school.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:42, Reply)

What have I been trying to do for TWO FUCKING YEARS?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Best say sorry then, I guess.

( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Hurrah it's circular argument time
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1722879
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:53, Reply)

good god just dick each other if it means that much to you

( Theoban What of it, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:43, Reply)

if they hate each other so much, they could just hire proxies to dick each other

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)

If they hate each other so much why don't they just live there...
oh, hang on...
( likeajackhammer, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:43, Reply)

so, you're admitting you know sweet fuck all then?

( likeajackhammer, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)

Not what I heard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Is she saying anything offensive though?
I can't just mod posts because you find them annoying. Maybe if she put your real name up or something, but not just because you find her irritating.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:20, Reply)

She's doing a workaround of a feature that has been put into place by rob and scaryduck.
That's reason enough for mod action I think.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:24, Reply)

I'll call you a whaaaaAaaaaaAambulance post haste

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Then you would have to mod (almost) everyone

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:29, Reply)

The other option is that cr3 has to recode the log in to post feature.
Which is a waste of time rather than people just accepting that they're on ignore and not replying.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:30, Reply)

It's a stupid fucking system anyway.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:37, Reply)

You told her to stop and she did it again immediatly afterwards.
You've got mod powers use them or people will just ignore you.

With limited basic powers comes limited basic responsibility b3th.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Basically it's either that or I start deleting post she replies to and we all know how popular that is.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:55, Reply)

So, is she not allowed to post in any thread you're in,
or just not allowed to address you directly?
Just so I know what to look out for.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Ideally she'd be banned forever but I'm willing to compromise to just not replying to anything I post.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Man up you pathetic prick.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Problem is there's no one close enough to headbutt.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Right, look, whatever this is about, and believe me when I say I do not care,
it has no place on here, and if you've put her on ignore then let that be an end of it. You're coming off as a proper whining shitcunt and drawing more attention to whatever this drama is about than if you just let it go. You can't stop people replying to you, just deal with it.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Friday is drama day on OT, don't you know anything?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Whoever implemented ignore 2.0 deserves to be punished for pandering to crybaby shitcunts
b3ta.com/questions/worstpersonforthejob/post1721395
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)

says the guy who only managed to get his first "girlfriend" aged 30
BEST IRONYLOLS EVER
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Er... I thought you two were on LOLIgnore2.0?
Or did I miss something?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:15, Reply)

Well, if you creep-gaz every female on b3ta
sooner or later the law of averages says you'll succeed.
( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:19, Reply)

haha give me one area of life in which he could possibly be have said to be "succeeding"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:21, Reply)

RAPE

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)

The old memes are the best.

( Kroney, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)

*wheels meme back into dusty cupboard*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:23, Reply)

And you, stop winding him up.
It's like poking an wasps' nest.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:21, Reply)

sexy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)

oh alright, i don't mind if you delete them
it won't change him being a cunt
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)