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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Right, new thread time
Alan Turing has been bestowed the honour of a special Monopoly version to celebrate his life. I'm assuming "Go To Jail" will involve soap and violent bumming

www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19543039

Who should get a special board game and what would be in it?

Alt:
Meal betwixt breakfast and dinner?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:14, 167 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
THE PARALYMPIC HEROES.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:18, Reply)
They get fucking Free Parking now!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:18, Reply)
Not to mention reserved seats.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Even though they can run faster than me!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Internet fatties in da house

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:46, Reply)
They have all the luck :(

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:19, Reply)
On the other hand...
oh

/beadle
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:20, Reply)
Darth can have "Blood Bowel"
Where you play as a gang of homosexual orcs who try and bugger darth until he gets internal bleeding
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Sausage - back lane
That's all I'm saying
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Swipeys weightloss
it looks remarkably like snakes and ladders except the snakes are digestive tracts and the ladders are Greggs steak veggie bakes.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:19, Reply)
A 6!
You get: Colonic irrigation
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:20, Reply)
There's a gag here about her 'community chest' somewhere...

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:22, Reply)
I'll chance it

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Much better story:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19503846
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:23, Reply)
Joseph Swan FTW

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:28, Reply)
He was a great physicist, definitely, I seem to remember conspiracy theories re his work.
As a person he sounded a bit of a shit.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:32, Reply)
I liked the "he fell in love with a pigeon"

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Yes I saw the documentary about him where that Australian fellow played him.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:33, Reply)
Rolf Harris?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Barry Humphries.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:44, Reply)
From EastEdna's?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Wot d'yew take me for - a double-yoker?!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:51, Reply)
You are Alf from Home and Away,
AICMFP.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Wrong!
I'm Bouncer.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)
montopoly
where the aim is to lose all your money and become a vagrant.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Game of Strife

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:46, Reply)

www.amazon.co.uk/Go-For-Broke-Board-Game/dp/B0006GWQ0U
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:52, Reply)
NoDough
Monty in the Bank with a pleading smile
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:55, Reply)
:o((((((((((((((((((
BULLYING ON THE INTERNET
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Sowwy

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)
I'm cwying now. Hope you're happy.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Lunch?
I had a spinach beetroot and carrot sandwich + bowl of fruit. I am feeling mega good.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:47, Reply)
That sandwich needs cheese

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:54, Reply)
and less beetroot and carrot.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:56, Reply)
No, that would be acceptable
Beetroot would need a strong cheese
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I hate strong cheeses.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)
You hate everything, you hating hater you

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I do not. I just have definite preferences.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Default preferences of HATE

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Nay.
I only hate spiders. And Strong Cheese. And dickheads. Almost everything else and I'm cool.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:26, Reply)
How can you hate strong cheese?
I never had you pegged as a fucking idiot, Popsy.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:30, Reply)
it just tastes like vomit to me. Really sort of acidic and horrible.
And the smell is awful. Can't manage anything stronger than an edam. I struggle to consume tasty.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:35, Reply)
This is not to say I don't like other cheeses. I'm quite a fan of a brie or camembert, goat's fetta or normal fetta, haloumi and that sort of thing.
but things like vintage or blue just turn me right off.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:36, Reply)
You are dead to me.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:37, Reply)
sorry Boycey.
it's just who I am. WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:38, Reply)
SORRY, I HAVE YOU ON IGNORE SO I CAN'T READ YOUR POST HERE

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:40, Reply)
YOU'RE SUCH A CUNT I HATE YOU I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:41, Reply)
SORRY I'M SURE WHAT YOU'VE POSTED IS FASCINATING BUT I SHALL NEVER KNOW

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)
WELLTHEN I GUESS NOW IS THE TIME TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR STUFFED TEDDY CALLED BILLY.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:49, Reply)
NO-ONE BELIEVES YOUR ANTIPODEAN LIES
(NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU JUST POSTED OF COURSE)
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:54, Reply)
IT'S NOT A LIE WHEN IT'S THE FUCKING TRUTH.
BUT OF COURSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING YOU BIG IGNORAMUS.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:55, Reply)
She just needs to work up to it
mild cheddar, medium, mature, extra-mature... she'll be scarfing down the Stinking Bishop* before you know it.

*as my cock is known
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)
you fucking wish.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:51, Reply)

"Dear baby Jesus, please keep mommy safe and daddy safe and all the children in the world safe. Amen. PS. Just one more thing..."
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 14:36, Reply)
I have nothing to contribute.
Soz.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:48, Reply)
You are clearly not the only one.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:50, Reply)
it's either be upfront about it or try to pass myself off as a fan of dark graphic novels, shit trilbies and New Model Army.
When in actual fact I am a fan of postwar American fiction, fitted Nu Era caps and My Bloody Valentine.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Isn't "fitted nu era caps" some sort of medical procedure?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)
They prevent pregnancy by making the wearer look a cunt

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)
I met Kevin Shields once.
He is a fucking weirdo.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)
All the best musicians are.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)
You know what I like about you?
You're so normal.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:30, Reply)
*sadface*

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Hungry Hippos -for the lunch thread?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:53, Reply)
haha!
Good call
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:54, Reply)
I'm having strawberries for lunch
64 calories in 200g. And they're 400g for £1 in Tescos. \o/
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Thanks swipe

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I reckon Monty should do this fasting lark
it's not like he can afford food anyway.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:01, Reply)
I'd rather do more exercise than eat less

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Pass the Pigs.
For the OT porky shutins.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Windy?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Quintopoly
Q-dog is the Top Hat, Louise is the battleship, Sasha is the iron, Tricky is the sportscar and Malc is the dog.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Sacha would be Go
Everyone wants to land on her
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Bugger My Neighbour
self explanatory for the uphill gardeners, or some dodgy pun on backgammon.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Trivial Pursuit
Rory winds Emvee up, again.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Needs MOAR shed

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:12, Reply)
scrablle for gonz.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:13, Reply)
hahahaha!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Winner, and POTD!
*clickkkkkk*
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Solitaire (with fingers and lube) for Poppet?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Poppet in?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:17, Reply)
when she's on the blob does that make her a poppet on a string?
:D
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)
genuine officelol there
Cheers. Everyone now thinks I'm choking to death on my coffee
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Good one you scotch flid.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:22, Reply)
hahaha.....plus an earworm....ta

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Where's Quinton

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Quinton is now truth fairy

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Get with the programme, Quinton is Gary and is Louise's boss who also posts as teh truth fairy, and they work with Malc and crazy tricky but not Big tits milf/gilf Sasha any more since she left
durrr what else don't you know
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:25, Reply)
I bet he's never even heard of Kev!!!!

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:25, Reply)
nigga be brain damaged yo

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:26, Reply)
str8 up, brah.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:28, Reply)
q fail
:-(
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Miss that little guy :'(

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Just got back from the gym and I'm sweating like an autist at speed dating
To counter the gym I have lovely homemade pancetta and pea risotto
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Can I be the first to say
1. no-one cares
2 you're a paralympic homo
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:22, Reply)
His lunch sounds good though

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I had butternut squash soup and crackers but do you hear me crapping on about it?
No sir you do not.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:24, Reply)
I'm a wop and former chef and even I think that sounds bent as fuck.
christ almighty, what's wrong with you people?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:22, Reply)
+ a scotch flid

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:25, Reply)
I look like a krankie had sex with a dinosaur.
krankiesaurus :(
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Little flappy tyrannosaurus arms and a school cap.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Well I'm aroused.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:40, Reply)
Chicks dig a man that can cook

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:27, Reply)
are you saying gonz can't cook?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:28, Reply)
I think he is saying that and I for one think that's disgustingly rude.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)
he's always having little digs at people, just cos he's got solid oak flooring he thinks he's fucking pol pot

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:31, Reply)
People like him make me sick to the pit of my stomach.
With his ugly kid and his promiscuous wife and his spasticated flooring.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:32, Reply)
there'll be more punters at this b4sharoo now that he's confirmed he aint going

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Too right.
The gyppoes I paid to burgle his house whilst he was out b4shing are going to be well pissed off though.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:39, Reply)
they also like good personal hygiene
wit, humour and some semblance of physical attractiveness.

never mind, at least you got the cooking part down!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Badum and indeed tish

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Christ you lot are dull.
In Friday’s Metro there was a piece saying it was the 25th anniversary of ‘Where’s Wally?’ The front cover of The Sun on the same day was a photo of that shot-up car in France with the headline ‘Where’s Mummy?’

I did a lol.

True story. Seriously yo, shit was mad real.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)
I feel I missed out on Where's Wally

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:25, Reply)
You would have been about 15 when it first came out.
I'm glad for your sake you weren't 'into it' as that would make you mentally retarded.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:26, Reply)
*licks screen*

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Windows 8?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:35, Reply)
My children ask for the Where's Wally books
then they make me show them where he is on every fucking page. Lazy bastards.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I can see Wally

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:36, Reply)
+ now the rain has gone

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:37, Reply)
:o(
Too many obstacles in my way
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:38, Reply)
How odd.
Whenever I'm with your kids we always play 'Where's Willy?'
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:38, Reply)
Oh Monce
You're better than that.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:39, Reply)
I'm really not, you know.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:40, Reply)
You know who's full of shit?
That Maya Angelou. She should be fucking ashamed of herself
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Fucking right.
You know who else is? Ma-fucking-hatma pissing Gandhi. Fucking little cunt needs a SLAP in his stupid speccy face.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:45, Reply)
He really isn't

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:40, Reply)
In a box on your lap?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:44, Reply)
You betcha

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:46, Reply)
did you see that the bomb squad got sent to the family's house?
Public Enemy's latest publicity stunt is in particularly poor taste.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:38, Reply)
+on

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Fuckaroo!
I mount Swipe from behind and say she looks like 'Chompy and see how long I can fuck her whilst she bucks?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:44, Reply)
rodeo sex lolz

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Ooh you are a one.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:45, Reply)
He's at least two,
The fat cunt.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:46, Reply)
That's what your Mum said.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:48, Reply)
it's funny because
just the thought of his shiny fat face would make you lose any hint of an erection
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
He might have strange tastes. That might be what rubs his rhubarb.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)
So I can't be arsed to start a new thread with this, but:
falkvinge.net/2012/09/07/three-reasons-child-porn-must-be-re-legalized-in-the-coming-decade/
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:45, Reply)
do you know what would be a really good idea?
My clicking a link that has child porn in the url whilst at work.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Oh go on
"In Sweden, ECPAT has pushed through laws that make you a jailable criminal for possessing images of yourself from before your 18th birthday. Can we have a show of hands to see how many think this makes any kind of sense? That this would catch any child molesters?"
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:51, Reply)
I tell you what
I'd think twice about jacking off to a photo of myself again.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I molested the shit out of mysel before my 18th birthday

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I'm vaguely interested in the article, granted.
I'm just not going to click it at work. Even though one of my laptops is on the dirty network. Fnnaar.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
The title is misleading really

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:55, Reply)
I don't think that works as an excuse in a dismissal tribunal.

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:56, Reply)
if you clicked on it and quickly closed it
and deleted any email it came in, you'd probably be ok.

however, spending the afternoon wanking like a safari park chimp on judgment day would not do you any favours.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)
even if the wanking was coincidental?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)
is there ever such a thing as coincidental wanking?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 14:08, Reply)
Presumably it's only indecent images of yourself?
I doubt they could arrest you for having a picture of yourself on Nemesis at Alton Towers, for instance.

Unless you were wanking at the time.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:54, Reply)
"mum a bird did a poo on me...."

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:56, Reply)
"well, that's just rude, I suggest you don't take her out for dinner again, son"

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Who hasn't?
I got my first hand job on the Nemesis. Great teacher, Mr Medhirst.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Because they're so darn sexy?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:51, Reply)
Dungeons and clunge dragons.
I tour the UK visiting people's sex dungeons to see if their partners are right old dragons.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:47, Reply)
Kerclunge!
We pull a load of cocktail sticks out of your Mum's clunge. The loser has to lick all the marbles clean afterwards.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Opervagination.
I perform surgery on your Mum's vagina until it is down to the size of the Tardis.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:51, Reply)

the Tardis Cheddar Gorge, which incidentally is what it smells of
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Does it have stalactites?

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Well, it's your Mum and we all know that her
'tites go down!!!
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:56, Reply)
Geologicalols

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)
I mite go up

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:58, Reply)
I mite throw up

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:59, Reply)
Mouse Trap
Throw a six to prevent the tampons escaping your mum's clopper.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Buckajew.
Err, you shoot some Jews?
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Jewdo
You murder some Jews in a stately home.
(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Ishmael, in the synagogue, with the massive fucking candelabra

(, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 14:16, Reply)

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