So David Blaine is doing a new "stunt"
where he stands in a suit of chain mail and the internet can zap him for three days. Or play him music or something.

www.guardian.co.uk/stage/shortcuts/2012/oct/02/david-blaine-electrified-chance-of-surviving

What a prick eh? Who wants to start an internet campaign of just getting him to hear Gangham style non stop for three days or something?

Alt: Shut up.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:15, 251 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I think the internet should be attached to a cuntfucking so he can be cunted in the fuck.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:17, Reply)

The fucking tedious little fuck.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:18, Reply)

*holds palm to your face with an eye on it*

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:18, Reply)

*rips fucking arm off and sticks in vacated eye socket*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:20, Reply)

this is more boring and shit than my thread.
by which I mean the stunt, not this thread
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:19, Reply)

It's just a faraday cage.
He won't feel anything apart from it vibrating.
So basically he's standing on a pole with a vibrating suit for three days.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:21, Reply)

yes, much like his other stupid stunts
it's self aggrandising bullshit and very dull BS at that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:28, Reply)

One million volts of electricity
Meaningless unless delivered at a decent current. The static while taking off a jumper can be many thousands of volts but is so small a current as to do fuck all. Unless he's wired directly to the grid it's bollocks.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:33, Reply)

Indeed
this too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:37, Reply)

What a weapons-grade cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:19, Reply)

Nah, Chompy's alright really.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:20, Reply)

I don't get it
They've removed all possibility that he might die, so what's the point?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:21, Reply)

He might shit himself live on youtube.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:22, Reply)

So what?
I've done that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:23, Reply)

That was at Alton Towers, not youtube.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:26, Reply)

I think it was Tower Records?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:28, Reply)

I heard it was a record tower of shit.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:35, Reply)

I still don't know how they let you into the server room.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:45, Reply)

The mystery of Naked Ape's doorstep revealed

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:19, Reply)

i saw this documentary once where these people went into a room full of electricity
and chainmail protects them from getting any kind of shock

so basically he's doing fuck all

i hope he dies
(quintsy, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:23, Reply)

I prefer Hal Blaine.
Can we talk about him instead?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:25, Reply)

The renowned homosexual?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:26, Reply)

The renowned drummer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:27, Reply)

dr +b
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:36, Reply)

that's Monty

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:29, Reply)

I'd rather watch a chilblain

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:28, Reply)

ITS A PUPPET

(quintsy, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:36, Reply)

Taken 2 is out tomorrow, I think it'll be good.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:35, Reply)

Taken to where?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:36, Reply)

I haven't seen the first one.
Is it any good?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:37, Reply)

I don't know why you're asking me, I haven't got a clue what he's on about.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:41, Reply)

I thought you'd dash off to imdb or wikipedia
So you could come back and swing your willy around a bit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)

I'm certainly swinging my willy around, but I can't be bothered with the rest.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Probably involves grasping your ankles.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:38, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:39, Reply)

i don't know who you are, but i will find you
and when i do i have a very special set of skills etc
(quintsy, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:36, Reply)

Currently being rated as being fucking awful though, isn't it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:37, Reply)

I've not seen any reviews yet. But I'm sure it'll be shit, but I'll enjoy it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:05, Reply)

he's well sexy with that rapists stare and shitcunt psychobabble

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:38, Reply)

I'm frothing at the clopper just thinking about him

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:39, Reply)

wait, you're a chick?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Must be, otherwise he would be called sportsbull

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)

This^ is very good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)

udder gaz!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)

It's true!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:44, Reply)

or washingupcow

( Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:43, Reply)

lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:44, Reply)

I am not, no

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)

yeah, very good sweetheart.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:43, Reply)

*titgazzes*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:44, Reply)

His original stuff where he was doing the street magic was fucking cool
He is now a monumental bellend
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:39, Reply)

I read that as 'moderate' then, and was very confused

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:44, Reply)

4-6"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:45, Reply)

Nah', play 30 seconds Nyan Cat consistantly.
I say 30 seconds so it doesn't loop properly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:47, Reply)

The office today is all printer problems
and babies. Why do people insist on bring their babies into work places?

Worst. Day. Ever.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Conference calls, upgrades and coding
and a terrifying 30 seconds this morning when out of coffee
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:04, Reply)

Most people opted for the Alt then.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:02, Reply)

If only.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:05, Reply)

so
do we reckon that welsh girl is dead?

and do we blame her mum for not looking out for a 5 year old?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:09, Reply)

I would be suprised if she's alive.
And I wouldn't blame the mother, you can't expect pedos to be on every corner, and kids have to have some limited independence.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:10, Reply)

I dunno, 5 years old seems a little young to be outside unsupervised at that time of the evening.
Not her fault the kid get snatched, but still not great parenting.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Fucking Welshies.
They're bad apples, the lot of 'em. I'm telling you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Well, it's not exactly london is it.
It's in the middle of nowhere, in Wales.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:14, Reply)

Prime noncing territory that.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:15, Reply)

I'd probably have let my five year old play outside with their seven year old friend.
I'd have kept half an eye on them and had them in bed by that time, but these things aren't really relevant.
Child abduction is rare and they were extremely unlucky.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Unless they were involved.
In which case it's their own fault.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Isn't there some awful satistic
where after being missing for x number of hours the chances of being found alive plummet by y% every hour or something?

tl:dr she's brahn bread mate
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:11, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1746057
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:12, Reply)

yes.
Blame the parents? Difficult one. She shouldn't have been out unsupervised but that's no excuse for her getting abducted and nonced.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:16, Reply)

Who's going to be watching 'Sir Jimmeh' tonight then?
I sure am.

In case you were wondering, you know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:10, Reply)

Nah, I'll watch some American 1 hour long drama instead.
Not a big fan of laughing at sexual abuse to be honest.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Oh cool!
Hopefully there will be one on about some maverick guy who's like a kind of forensic detective (played by an English actor but he can TOTALLY do the accent), he plays by his own rules but gets results so the 'chief' tolerates him, and he has a 'hot' female sidekick and there's this crazy sexual 'will they, won't they' tension and there's like an unexpected plot twist and an amazing end of 'season' cliffhanger which means you can't WAIT for the next season to start so you've got it on a 'torrent' from the States OMG.

Hopefully there's one of those on ABOUT NINE DIFFERENT FUCKING CHANNELS. There's a very small possibility.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:16, Reply)

"torrent" doesn't need quotation marks. They are actual things, not observations.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:19, Reply)

Your mum is an actual thing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:21, Reply)

There are some good shows this year, I really like Go On.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:18, Reply)

What's that about?
I've enjoyed Person of interest
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:20, Reply)

It's about
An irreverent yet charming sportscaster who, after a loss, finds solace from members of his mandatory group therapy sessions.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:25, Reply)

I didn't care
but I'm glad I now know where you will be at 10pm tonight.

Or whenever it's on.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Then what will you do after that?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Probably download 'season 12' of some heap of shit about zombie detectives.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I'd watch the fuck out of that.

( Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:21, Reply)

I thought it started to go down a bit after season 10
I'm still going to keep watching it though, just to see what happens.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:22, Reply)

This is an excellent bit of football
www.guardian.co.uk/sport/video/2012/oct/03/serbia-triple-dummy-football-corner-goal-video
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:18, Reply)

Excellent enough to make it worthwhile for someone who doesn't care about football to click on?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:19, Reply)

Yes.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:19, Reply)

Ok, I'll have a look.
But if I'm disappointed... well, I have no real come back on you.
Is there not some sort of b3ta ombudsman I can complain to or something?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Tell B3th, she'll mail me a picture of her fanny as punishment.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:26, Reply)

I would say yes
But then I care a bit about football.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Those first three blokes were rubbish - they let it go through their legs.
Lucky that fourth guy was there to help them out.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:24, Reply)

I believe that's called "nutmegging" in football parlance.
Although I don't know why.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Is that like "figging"?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:27, Reply)

Er I dunno.
Is that like a one-two?
( Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:29, Reply)

You've lost me now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:30, Reply)

you and david blaine have a lot in common

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:21, Reply)

chompy is a half caste?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:23, Reply)

that too.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:26, Reply)

with rapist eyes?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:27, Reply)

Why does he do these things?
Can't he just do some fucking magic? Cunt.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:28, Reply)

never seen him wear a topper or use a wand.
cunt doesn't even have a cape.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:29, Reply)

To do decent magic you need two things:
A silk shirt, open to the navel and a big fan blowing at you while you prance around.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:34, Reply)

what about slicked back hair?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:37, Reply)

You insensitive bitchpipe

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:41, Reply)

get a wig!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:45, Reply)

I'd rather die

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)

bld 4lyfe!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:02, Reply)

SL@P H3DZ
lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:07, Reply)

He doesn't even have a glamorous assistant.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:38, Reply)

He strikes me as the sort of person that women find creepy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Whatever happened to good wholesome family entertainers like Paul Daniels?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:49, Reply)

They've all been abducted by pirates.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Isn't that theft?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:53, Reply)

NO, SILLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Nothing much.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:15, Reply)

twohats, will you solve a problem for me?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:53, Reply)

You know I will

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 13:54, Reply)

I've got this new phone, while mine is being fixed.
and on my old phonr, if I double tap to zoom, it automatically would reallign the page so that what I was reading all for nearly in the screen.this one just makes it bigger, without moving stuff about so I have to keep scrolling left and right, as well as up and down. I don't like it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)

Yes, that sounds irritating
I tend to use both fingers to expand the screen, and that usually works. Failing that, you could buy a magnifying glass. You can normally get a small set of them from somewhere like Poundstretchers or Mr Cheap.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Hahaha.
Magnifying glass for your phone? Nokia 3210 ftw. Didn't have that problem with them.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:08, Reply)

I remember being really jealous of people who had one of those.
Brilliant phone!
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:11, Reply)

PROPER phone.
None of this multi media shash.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Exactly.
And you could bash the crap out of them and they'd still work.
And the battery would last for ages.
And everyone had a charger you could borrow if you were caught short in the battery department.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:16, Reply)

Too right.
Modern phone using cunts.

Why don't they standardise chargers? Some Apple products don't like other Apple chargers even though the plug fits??!!!!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:20, Reply)

That's Apple for you.
I have a Mac and it was awesome for just about the length of time the warranty lasted. Now, it's slower than John Terry.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:24, Reply)

ipads are awesome for porn
and that's it. Fucking useles for most other things. I had to try and get Citrix working on the fucker the other day. What a palaver.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Other things?
No, you've lost me there.
I've no real need for a home computer apart from that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Ha ha! I'd like to see that line in one of the commercials!
There are lots of things I like about Apple stuff - but the thing that gets me is the lack of legacy support - i.e. 'this is all new and we're not listening, so we don't care about your old software'. I've wanted to get the new OS for a while, but I know a bunch of my stuff won't work on it (and we're talking only 3 years here).
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:30, Reply)

Well, Steve Jobs was the biggest wanker of them all.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:31, Reply)

I like it - the ipad was his gift in a way!

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Well if you can come up with a better way of seeing things close up without moving closer to the object
I'd like to hear it, pal
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:18, Reply)

You guys!
You're back!
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:08, Reply)

James, Hello

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Hi TH, how are you?

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Unwell
But happy, thank you. Yourself?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Okay thanks,
how about you though - you're unwell? Nothing serious I hope?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:31, Reply)

I have diverticular disease, and I have 'attacks' every now and then
Mind you, this is only the second one I've had this year. Last year I had 6. So I'm doing quite well really.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:39, Reply)

That sounds pretty nasty.
Hope you get better soon.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Well that's very kind, thank you
I'll be fine in a few days. It never lasts more than a week.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:52, Reply)

i tried the whole 2 fingers thing
Still falls off the edge. Fix it please.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Bring it here, I'll take a look at it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:17, Reply)

what phone is it?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:18, Reply)

A shit one.
Why u no wrissen?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:20, Reply)

fairly sure it's not an iphone mate.
sounds like android most likely.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Android? I am not a robot.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:28, Reply)

some Zte nonsense
Never heard of it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:21, Reply)

oh dear
bargain basement android phone, probably an old a a bit crippled version too. you might just have to live with it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Apparently Opera or something called Boat Browser might work
worth a go
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:25, Reply)

I had this problem when I upgraded the Android OS on my phone
Switched to Opera Mobile for my browsing, got the text reshuffling back.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Just want you to know,
I'm here for you during this difficult time, mate.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:07, Reply)

No you're not.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:09, Reply)

i just want it how i like it, thats all

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:11, Reply)

What browser is your phone using?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:13, Reply)

it just says browser, I've only had turned thing an hour.
Tried putting dolphin browser on, that I used with my old phone, and that does the same thing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:16, Reply)

Try Opera Mini
I use it on mine, it uses much less data, and in the settings you can change to single column view, wrap text etc, also set to not download pictures etc.
For the default browser, there's this:
m.lifehacker.com/5834312/change-how-far-a-double-tap-zooms-in-android
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Go into settings, there'll be a word wrap type thing.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:24, Reply)

i looked for that,
nothing, theres choose zoom size and all sorts, but no wrap. Opera does, but for some reason wont let me living. Piece of crap.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Stop being a Tudor cheap skate and buy a new phone

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I had a haircut
my sister is getting married on saturday.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:03, Reply)

to a man?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Yes. A carpenter.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Has she only just begun to appreciate what she's getting herself into?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:09, Reply)

click

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:24, Reply)

this is some pretty deep character acting for a nativity play.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Joinery in matrimony

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:14, Reply)

When he saw your sister did he look at his mate and say...
...

...
"wood"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:17, Reply)

jesus?

(quintsy, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Does she know about the eating disorder risk?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:23, Reply)

I'd bring your own food then!!!!!!!!!
IT'S A JOKE ABOUT KAREN CARPENTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Are you close?
Any spontaneous avine manifestations in the vicinity?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:26, Reply)

I wanted to join in with the carpenter based jokes, but I see they've all pretty much been covered.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:29, Reply)

NO WAIT... I'VE GOT ONE....
No... it's rubbish.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:29, Reply)

No, JOIN in

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 15:02, Reply)

i hope they release a very dreary album and she kills herself

(quintsy, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:37, Reply)

THAT'S QUITE AN UNUSUAL REACTION TO A HAIRCUT!

(quintsy, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:18, Reply)

New thread.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 14:37, Reply)