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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What is the best nightclub you've ever been to?
If you haven't got one what was the last nightclub you went to? Are there any good nigthclubs in London to have a laugh in or are they all poncey and cliquey like this place?

Alt: When making a glass of Ribena from concentrate do you put the Ribena in first then the water or the other way around?

Altalt: Have you ever recommended something to loads of people based on one experience of said thing and then gone back to it and it was shit? I once recommended Ace Ventura Pet Detective to someone.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:20, 189 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Best nightclub I've ever been to was either the Heavenly Social* or Sabresonic.
Or Matt Smooth's 'Scratch' night (these still happen from time to time). Goldie's 'Metalheads' wasn't bad either.

Alt: the former obv

Altalt: I recommended Jim Jones Revue to Nakers. He listened to US flid Jim Jones and remarked that he was shit. He was. So was Jim Jones. The end.

*My DJ team 'The North Side Hoods' had a residency so OF COURSE it was good.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:25, Reply)
It wasn't all 'Social' with the North Side Hoods though
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHsI6VVrALA
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:34, Reply)
that looks like a fun place to live

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Mongo is DEAD and all you can think about is partying and slicing water bottles up with swords.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:26, Reply)
*punches horse out in solidarity*

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:29, Reply)
I might watch Porky's in tribute.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:30, Reply)
lol I saw that video
it's like someone condensed the internt into one peRSON
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:30, Reply)
Alt: What kind of spaz puts the water in first?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:29, Reply)
You *can* do it that way
but you need to use a swizzle stick afterwards.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:30, Reply)
This is about the tenth time I've gone to post a reply
and you have posted ALMOST WORD FOR WORD the exact thing I was going to say.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:32, Reply)
I take that as endorsement of my words.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I might be your comedy account

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:43, Reply)
I hate to have to break this to you publicly, because it hurts me as much as it hurts you.
The truth is you have been having some sort of a breakdown for quite some time now.
You are posting all of these messages as tangledupinblue and you are in such a daze, you don't even realise it.
Mrs Hats has gone.
She took the little caps with her months ago and you have been sitting there in the same t-shirt and pants staring at the internet ever since.
I hope for both our sakes this message gets through and we can finally get some help.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:48, Reply)
*fades away*
NOOOoooooooooo
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Reflex in Liverpool was great for a laugh, that's about the only one I have good things to say about
Last one I went to was Rosie's in Chester. 3 floors, all playing the same music. Was very bizarre, and also remarkably shit.

Alt: I don't, Vimto is better. And it's Vimto first, then water.

AltAlt: Yes, I recommended Trivium to my friends, only to discover they were shit. Sadly, several people actually liked them, the misguided fools.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Nightclubs are shit
alt: Beena first fuck face

altalt: no I'm always correct
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:33, Reply)
in 1997, the ministry of sound
i think it's long since had its day.

this place might be cliquey. it is NOT poncey. it has chavs and pikeys.

alt: only when adding it to booze does the cordial go in afterwards, like snakebite and black. otherwise it never mixes in properly. like if you run a bath too cold, you can never quite warm it up again.

altalt: i can only think of films and restaurants. nothing exciting.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:40, Reply)
swipey it's rubbish in heer this afternoon, who broke the internet?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:45, Reply)
i know
it's like a graveyard without a jimmy savile headstone
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:47, Reply)
Alright fatty?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Avoid any 1988 dance style nights, esp in Birmingham, you could die:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19910377
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Acid douse never really took off in the same way as acid house, did it?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Very good

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:56, Reply)
either fabric or Back to Basics
Depends though, by 'club' do you mean the venue or the clubnight?
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Ku in Sunderland
Sticky floors and everything. It used to have an entertaining dancefloor with a rail around just above knee height. Should anything ever kick off in there, all you would see if someone disappearing over it backwards, feet in the air.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:56, Reply)
My missus used to go there
As she is one of your lot
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:21, Reply)
Your missus is a smelly gay man?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:24, Reply)
chortle

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:24, Reply)
+ Tedious IT spod

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:28, Reply)

This is an extremely shit thread.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:57, Reply)
How do you feel about skiing?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Cuntish 'sport', undertaken by cunts.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:59, Reply)
I guess you weren't as "tall as this line" so weren't alowed on the chairlift

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)
I have never been within 100 miles of a ski resort.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I believe this to be untrue
Have you been to Scotchland?
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:01, Reply)
It does seem an unlikely claim.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:02, Reply)
he also claims to be 5' 5"

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:03, Reply)
+'

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Yes, but never anywhere rural.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:02, Reply)
the notrious 200 mile square country

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:03, Reply)
It is B I G

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:06, Reply)
You'll need to find someone for the other hand.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)
i've started a BRILLIANT new thread
but you can't see it cos i've got you on ignore 3.0
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:59, Reply)
Thanks.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)
The Boat in newcastle
What a hole, but had a revolving dancfloor which was well lol
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Fuck
That was GRIM in there.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 13:59, Reply)
I NORITE
Fucking Newcastle WHAT a shithole
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Indeed

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:01, Reply)
better than Sunderland though

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:02, Reply)
Bigger city centre and nicer old buildings, for sure

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:02, Reply)
OAK FLOORING throughout

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:03, Reply)
I'm there!

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:04, Reply)
*looks round*
LIES!
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:06, Reply)
*blows gently in sporter's ear*

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:11, Reply)
Mr. Gently is not amused

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Neither is my ear, dirty cunts

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Serves you right for listening to Chorley FM

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:15, Reply)
I would do no such thing sir
*slaps round face with glove*
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:25, Reply)
If that means I get choice of weapons
I challenge you to a duel, using Naked_apes.

Worst.Duel.Ever
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:33, Reply)
BOAT LOL?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Thats the one

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)
indeed, sort of

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:00, Reply)
I'm going to start calling the lavatory 'the john' to see if I can start a craze.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I'm gonna call it the "Dave"

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Is this because it has the same shit on it as yesterday?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Oh very good

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:07, Reply)
That's some Top Gear comedy right there

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:09, Reply)
very good

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:11, Reply)
what if you throw a Dave in The John though?
throwing a Dave in The Dave is way too complicated
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:06, Reply)
I've renamed Throwing as Bumming
So what you'll be doing is bumming a Dave in the John
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I used to love the indie night on a Thursday at the Welly Club in Hull.
and could regularly be seen throwing my skinny arse around the dancefloor there, like a more spacktarded Jarvis Cocker, sometime in the mid-90s.
For pilled-up mod lols I used to like going to Liquidation in Liverpool or the Basement in Brighton.
I haven't really been to a nightclub since the 90s though.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I bet you visited many basements in brighton
taking that back dooor, down the grubby passage to teh delights beyond
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I was once approached by a man in the Basement who asked if I would be interested in dancing in a play he was putting on.
I suspected he was a homosexualist and was only after my bottom, so I politely declined.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Last time I was in Brighton I went for a run along the seafront and was confronted by a man
weilding what can only be described as a horse cock, sitting on a bench, wanking away merrily.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:14, Reply)
where was the horse?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Being wanked off

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:19, Reply)
interesting

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:21, Reply)
In the john.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:24, Reply)
Sean McClusky's 'Love Ranch' night was excellent 'back in the day'
V debauched. Fuck I haven't thought of that place in decades.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:11, Reply)
blanked out the memories of when you had to play "steers and queers"?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:13, Reply)
This could possibly be the worst post on this website since the site was launched.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Don't do yourself down. It's a little boring perhaps but nothing worse than that.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Sorry guys, back in a mo - just going to the john.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:12, Reply)
say hi to Dave

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:13, Reply)
I'm going to start calling Monty Boyce 'a prick' to see if I can start a craze.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:13, Reply)
I've clicked I like this to help you out

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:15, Reply)
What is it about having a cold that makes my farts smell even worse than usual?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:18, Reply)
I bet your house smells like the john!!!!

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Prick

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:21, Reply)
Best club night (of sorts)
Docklands 92.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:27, Reply)
ribena first, otherwise it doesn't properly diffuse through the water.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Don't you call it BonoBo juice or something?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:31, Reply)
no, we call it ribena.
fucking hell you're a retard sometimes nakkers.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:35, Reply)
:P

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:38, Reply)
I'm never sure if it should be nakers, pronounced like naked,
or knackers, pronounced like those Irish traveller types.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:43, Reply)
Allow me to help - it is pronounced 'bent spastic'

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:44, Reply)
I might cahnge my name, i feel this one is holding me back somewhat

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:45, Reply)
may i suggest you go with something like,

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:50, Reply)
I think it needs to be at least one character

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:52, Reply)
, is at least one character

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:53, Reply)
i was more getting at the fact that he doesn't need to start a new account after deleting that one.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:54, Reply)
Excellent suggestion.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:54, Reply)
you'd miss me if I was gone

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:59, Reply)
i said
YOU'D MISS ME IF I WAS GONE
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:07, Reply)
I'd miss you

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Oh... er... yeah
Terribly sad business that, er... condolences to his wife?
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:08, Reply)
I have the answer:
'spooky Nakers'
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:25, Reply)
Itchy Feet is the best night I've been to recently,
all rock and roll and swing, had a great time, best night of all time, I don't know, probably Baraka.

I always put the ribena in the top, because I don't like it in the bottom.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:33, Reply)
*spells out 'Hello' in flag semaphore*

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:35, Reply)
I've just been to a very interesting meeting,
there was talk of theft, and sabotage, and libel, and blackmail and all sorts. It was proper exciting.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:40, Reply)
have you caught your thief yet?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Yeah,
they gone.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:44, Reply)
How'd your do WP?
Did you collect all the staff in the drawing room, lock the doors then cunningly get them to expose their crimes in a fit of indignant rage?
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:44, Reply)
what i don't understand, is why you have an underscore in there.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Bigger boys stole his name and wouldn't give it back

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:47, Reply)
lol,
he is such a daft prick.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:49, Reply)
:' (

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:52, Reply)
eh? Did you miss?
Someone stole my name, so added teh underscore
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Nope,
we just gathered together transaction evidence, linked it with CCTV, went through till logs, and all sorts.
Then just searched everyone in the middle of a saturday night and found the girl we thought it was with £100 in her pocket. We checked the tills, they were £100 down, and she confessed.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:59, Reply)
what an idiot, are you pressing charges?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:02, Reply)
nah,
too much hassle, she's gone, and the chances of her getting any bar work in oxford again is 0.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:19, Reply)
Really?
That does sound exciting. Are you allowed to divulge anything?
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:46, Reply)
well, i can't say anything that is pertinent to the case that is being raised.
all i can say is that Matt, Aidan, Johnny and Rooey, will be appearing in court, charged with a string of offences including, and not limited to, Theft, destruction of property, threats of violence and something else that means blackmail in legal terms, or it might be extortion, i dunno, ask Alan.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Do you work with Q?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:51, Reply)
no,
but i would love too, he seems dreamy.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:53, Reply)
xxxxxxxxxxx

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:00, Reply)
This is just like an episode of Petrocelli.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:56, Reply)
You mean 'Spooky Alan'
That sounds juicy. I do love a bit of drama.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:05, Reply)
I'm pretty sure the legal term for blackmail isn't "Spooky Alan"

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:11, Reply)
You are so wrong.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:20, Reply)
It's a lot of fun,

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:21, Reply)
That's not what the toilet walls say

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:35, Reply)
I read on the wall that you used to be a bull,
but opted to be a cow after the accident.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:39, Reply)
This is an udderly ridiculous lie

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:40, Reply)
Bullocks, you reckon?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:43, Reply)
Hoof would say such a thing

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:43, Reply)
I dunno, whatheifer.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:45, Reply)
calf down

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:48, Reply)
steak arm

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Mooove along
(golf clap, by the way)
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:51, Reply)
Hay! Hay!
/scouse
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Im on a coach, take that bitches

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:50, Reply)
coaches are shit, you're shit

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:52, Reply)
Isn't one of them barren?
Y'know, Barlow's missus.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:53, Reply)
hahahahahaha!
Fucking brilliant
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:54, Reply)
i don't get it

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Take That bitches

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:56, Reply)
oh
yeah
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 14:57, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:05, Reply)
did chompy delete or was it a mod?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:19, Reply)
what got deleted q?

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:21, Reply)
don't tell me i imagined the whole thing :(

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:22, Reply)
I certainly remember it being there, as it made my day.

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:23, Reply)
oh cool, i hope it was just psychochomp
i'd be mighty pissed if it was a mod
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:24, Reply)
And I missed it, because I was in the john :(

(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:24, Reply)
There was never any subthread about chompy emailing your girlfriend
You must have imagined the whole thing.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:23, Reply)
I MADED A NEW THREAD
it's piss, though, so feel free to carry on here.
(, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 15:22, Reply)

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