Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread thenElectric pants: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19946428
This reminds me of those devices that they used to sell that would zap your muscles and allow you to exercise while you were sat in front of the telly eating crisps.
Invent an electric item of clothing.
Alt: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19760006 - what's your wifi name? And password?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:44,
214 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I'd have an electric hat with arcing electricity coming out of it to keeps pigeons off my headAlt: surnameZoo-36749 or something
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
oh and the password is whatever mad combo of letters and nuimbers it came with(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
My Wifi is called "Osney Island Colostomy Bags"because I am fucking hilarious.
I don't really want electric clothing.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
You know, more people than just Gonz, have problems with their botty.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Barrymore
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
and you are on here, are you a kept man?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:11,
Reply)
Lunch break lolsI wish I were a kept man, unfortunately, I have to work for my sins.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:12, Reply)
Is that"Because I sin, I am punished by having to work"
or
"In order to afford my sins I require a regular income"
?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
I believe traditionally it's the formerbut I prefer the latter.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
Carol Smiley(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
Has ass problems?Is she sitting on Lever Arch Files that resemble a bunch of grapes?
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:59, Reply)
I have to say, young bicycle Repairman, that you aren't making a whole lot of sense.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
Electric pants, with an "Auto-Zap" feature should be......fitted to commuters who stand in front of the doors on railway platforms, so that you can't get off.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:51, Reply)
This is why I carry a large golf umbrella with a pointy tipwell, that and the rain.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
oh man, I done a gonz fanfic in the last thread :((
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
link it here.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
ok, fuck it. gonz in amsterdam.the chief inspector eyed the bloated jewish corpse with keen eyes. a packet of cheesy doritos was still clutched in one hand, the powder from those corn snacks caked to the thumb and forefinger of the other. he moved the jacket aside and frowned at the curious logo on the shirt. what was 'hollyoaks nights' he wondered.
"see anything suspicious?" sgt. vrost asked.
the chief inspector shook his head and looked round to where the corpse would have been staring. row upon row of windows greeted him, all showing a gyrating woman of the night. it was a closed case to him, and yet another of amsterdams 'virgin heart-attacks'
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
i'm gonna click this and click the one in the other thread so it's on the popular page twice(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:59, Reply)
Go on, post it again.Let's see if we can get it on there a third time.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
ok, fuck it. gonz in amsterdam.the chief inspector eyed the bloated jewish corpse with keen eyes. a packet of cheesy doritos was still clutched in one hand, the powder from those corn snacks caked to the thumb and forefinger of the other. he moved the jacket aside and frowned at the curious logo on the shirt. what was 'hollyoaks nights' he wondered.
"see anything suspicious?" sgt. vrost asked.
the chief inspector shook his head and looked round to where the corpse would have been staring. row upon row of windows greeted him, all showing a gyrating woman of the night. it was a closed case to him, and yet another of amsterdams 'virgin heart-attacks'
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:42, Reply)
ok, fuck it. gonz in amsterdam.the chief inspector eyed the bloated jewish corpse with keen eyes. a packet of cheesy doritos was still clutched in one hand, the powder from those corn snacks caked to the thumb and forefinger of the other. he moved the jacket aside and frowned at the curious logo on the shirt. what was 'hollyoaks nights' he wondered.
"see anything suspicious?" sgt. vrost asked.
the chief inspector shook his head and looked round to where the corpse would have been staring. row upon row of windows greeted him, all showing a gyrating woman of the night. it was a closed case to him, and yet another of amsterdams 'virgin heart-attacks'
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
You literally should.Or, at the very least, leave forever.
Literally.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
Be sure to tell everyone first though.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
i am literally leaving foreverand i am going to kill myself
kthx bye
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:04, Reply)
post it here I'm banned from the last thread(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
For some reason I lolled at"The pants are popular with nurses and patients "
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:52, Reply)
I did know someone who claims to have bought a remote controlled vibe thingy......and then handed over the remote to her significant other for the remainder of the evening. Apparently dinner was a decidedly jerky affair.
I've not seen these advertised anywhere so I'm not only calling shenanigans, but also I'm going to invent it.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Prior art I'm afraid www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/remote-control-vibrators/
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:59, Reply)
So they do exist...I'm not clicking on that link in front of the IT Oberleutnants here(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:00, Reply)
Wasn't this a qotw story?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
If it was, it wasn't one of mine.The person who told me the story claimed it happened to them personally though.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:01, Reply)
It was frankspencer:www.b3ta.com/questions/secretsanta/post68112
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
Not really the same story though......aside from the vibrating remote thingy. Maybe there's more than one in circulation?
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:05, Reply)
to be fairi know at least 3 girls who own one of these. for some reason they are a popular present from other halves.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
Do they not trust themselves with their own pleasure?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:10,
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i didn't say they used themi said they were bought for them... but i can say that i've never asked them that question!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:12,
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^^ the gay porn thread is up there, between ape and quint ^^(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
i've never seen the practicality of it to be honestthe bit ladies like vibrated is external, but those things have to be kept 'up' there for the man to remote control
i don't really see why a woman holding a lump of plastic up her chuff is going to be turned on in any way
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:14, Reply)
just use a mobile on virbate and text her.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
I believe that this was also a plot of a QOTW storyI think I've a spare Nokia Communicator circa 1999 lying around if any ladies like a challenge.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:05, Reply)
My wifi name is MeganetAfter CompuGlobalHyperMeganet because my neighbour has the same provider name as me and my wife was always complaining she couldn't connect when she was trying to connect to the wrong one. I needed to rename it and its the first thing I thought off.
I like the pic going around with the WiFi name "Hack this if you can" and some clever wag changed it to "Challenge Accepted"
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Peej, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
i hate that he's keeping us in suspensei REALLY want to know whether he and his wife has shagged this week
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:06, Reply)
electric glasses that shoot out laser beamsthat would melt cunts who get in the way at traffic lights or on the tube
alt: virginmedia23634604783q737q3 and the password is equally memorable. i did enjoy bluetooth when it first came out though. wandering around an airport or station or wherever, trying to guess which punter was "big cool dave" and which was "big gay jim". also drunkenly and HILARIOUSLY bluetoothing randoms in the pub "do you want to see my pussy" and sending them a pic of her cat.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
i'm saying that you are one of the cyclists who is going DOWN with my laser glasses(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
If Rachelswipe is all alone in the forest and no-one can here her, is she still wrong?(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:17, Reply)
RACHELSWIPE IS NEVER WRONGEVER
except in all the right ways, to misquote pink
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
I heard when she wears trousers she has to poke one lip down each leg and tuck them into her socks(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:05, Reply)
I heard that when she has a showershe has to peg them to her tits
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Kroney, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
People allow you to randomly pair with their phones??That's mental, you could transfer all sorts of dodgy stuff and so could they.
Also having Bluetooth on all the time runs the battery down faster, same with 3G
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Are you suggesting that people should disable the 3g on their phones?(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Hey battered, your favourite shoes are on salewww.asos.com/Jeffery-West/Jeffery-West-Muse-Stud-Strap-Cuban-Heel-Boots/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1652889&cid=1935&Rf-300=2323&Rf947=2581,2570,2586,2593,3574&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
Badgerhouse I thinkThat's what it was called when it was installed, I don't really feel I'm LOLarious enough to change it.
I'm fucked if I can remember the password is. It's written down somewhere.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
i mean come on, the guy's an adult and he actually uses the name 'badger' for his wifi?jesus
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:13, Reply)
I was in the US when it was installed.I can only assume my wife chose it. That or the Virgin guy has been stalking me.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
when did you get married?!congratulations, mr and mrs badgerprick
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:15, Reply)
I've been married for ages.but thank you.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
I don't doubt it for a second, q.I'm a difficult man to love.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Going back to that Freeman of the land thingthat link someone posted of that fat cunt being interviewed by the policeman, he kept on saying that he wasn't Raymond St Clair (and therefore wasn't bound by the rules of law) I'm surprised the policeman didn't just ask "So what do people say if they want to speak to you on the phone?"
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:11, Reply)
There's a great video of one of these priks in Americarefusing to go into court or something, so they taser him and he cries a bit
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
This is what I really don't understandthey think they are being oh so clever and insisting the law doesn't apply to them, but they're are so demonstrably wrong. Why have none of them picked up on this yet?
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:14, Reply)
because they're utter, utter pricks, I imagine.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
for the same reason poor people in America vote Republicanpeople have an enormous capacity for ignoring facts when they contradict their worldview.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
I like it when dicks like this get the fuck kicked out them by coppers.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
I have a colleague called Mat.His home network is called Matalan.
lol?
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Kroney, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
don't worry kroney, you're not worse than nakers.yet.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
He fucking is, the French fuckHe made a LAN joke ffs
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
sorry nakers, this is still much, much better than you.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
You will be sorry you mark my words, I'll have the last laugh needless to sayNuff said
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
Alt: mine's just BTHUB- some letters and numbersI might change it now to something amusing. *ponders*
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
I don't see how that could go wrong(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
Can I shock you?I like ginger beer.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
I also like ginger beer.Although the recipe I'm using is going to be making a very fiery dry ginger beer.
So might be better as a mixer than a straight drink.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:45, Reply)
Ginger beer is rank Just like ginger people
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
Ginger is delicious in all forms.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:50,
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I've never got beyond second base with a ginger lassSo I can't comment. If Nicole Kidman is reading this, then I totally would though.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:54, Reply)
There's a lot of it about.I suppose that most are brunettes anyway, quite a few of my exs turned out to be Suicide Blondes. And my ex-wife resembled Geri Halliwell and turned up one afternoon with red hair. I should have ended it on the spot really.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:00, Reply)
I'm not sure how much hair colour can affect that.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
PassI daresay an armchair lothario will post in a minute and make bold claims.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:02, Reply)
*looks around for Vipros*Has anyone watched the show "Suburgatory"? The ginger bird off that is cracking.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:04, Reply)
evidunceswww.google.co.uk/imgres?q=suburgatory&um=1&hl=en&client=opera&sa=N&rls=en&channel=suggest&tbm=isch&tbnid=zIvOsDbzV4RiTM:&imgrefurl=http://haveuheard.net/2012/02/suburgatory-season-1-ep-14-recap-21512-body/&docid=EdmRFsVtoQjlqM&imgurl=http://haveuheard.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/suburgatory.jpg&w=550&h=309&ei=zxqAUNCrAo6AhQfnm4GwCQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=147&vpy=464&dur=430&hovh=168&hovw=300&tx=240&ty=119&sig=112127998478034238755&page=2&tbnh=145&tbnw=278&start=32&ndsp=36&ved=1t:429,r:24,s:20,i:206&biw=1247&bih=911
newsmanone.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/jane_suburgatory_a_p-e1325375767871.jpg
BIG HEAD LITTLE BODY
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)
more EVIDUNCESwww.prosieben.de/polopoly_fs/suburgatory-stf01-allgemeine-bilder-17-warner-brothers-televisionjpg-1.3278363.1344854286!/httpImage/suburgatory-stf01-allgemeine-bilder-17-Warner-Brothers-Television.jpg_gen/derivatives/FORMAT_466_FLEXIBEL/suburgatory-stf01-allgemeine-bilder-17-Warner-Brothers-Television.jpg
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:08, Reply)
None of your photos are showing a head too big for teh bodybut none of them actually look that attractive. She's nicer when she smiles.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Her head looks perfectly normal.She does look like a right fucking misery, though.
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Kroney, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Looking less miserablecdn01.cdn.justjaredjr.com/wp-content/uploads/pictures/2011/09/jane-suburgatory/jane-levy-suburgatory-star-03.jpg
janelevy.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/01-131.jpg
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:19, Reply)
She's not a natural smiler, is he?It looks like her mouth's being pulled up by invisible fish hooks.
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Kroney, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
i assume you're all accustomed to fucking midgets with their unusually large heads(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:19, Reply)
You know nothing about heads quintsI'm wondering if you've ever even seen a girl before.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:20, Reply)
It makes me wonder what his missus looks like.her head must be tiny.
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Kroney, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
Is she old enough for me to be looking at pictures of her on the internet?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
Accidental noncing is no defence.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:11,
Reply)
That lass from Mad Men too......lovely. I'd hate for her to be a total dullard IRL though.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Meh, I wouldn't stick around for a conversation.I have a wife for that sort of thing.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:06, Reply)
She's a keeper too.I think I've changed my mind about the lass from Mad Men now...
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:13, Reply)
I haveshe's a bit young for me, but you knock yourself out.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
I thought about doing that myselfbut figured someone would do it for me.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
Do you have the remote for his pants?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
I like homemad ginger beer.My gran used to make it, it used to be ridiculusly potent.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Looks like this can come out at 8% if you're luckythehomebrewforum.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=5982
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:21, Reply)
Just be aware that it keeps fermenting in teh bottles, so they end up really, really pressurised.(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Yeah I know all that, and I've got proper caps and pressure safe bottles.(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Nope, the yeast uses up all the sugar available and goes dormant.Or it kills itself by making too much alcohol.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:36, Reply)
I bought a "Brand New in Box Unused" Router from Ebayits SSID when I plugged it in was "Bukkake_Net"
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Peej, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
You're going out with someone off the internetyour tastes are clearly somewhat off.
(, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 16:31, Reply)
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