Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
One love, one heart, let's get together and feel alrightAlt: pricks
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:40,
209 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I meant to click REPLYJust to make it very, very clear, I do not 'LIKE THIS' and actually planned to call you a cunt.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:42,
Reply)
Too late, I've popped your 'like' in my jacket pocketNext to my heart
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:46,
Reply)
I'd check that if I were you.Chances are you missed your pocket and now have 'like' all over your jacket.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:50,
Reply)
Someone on radio 4 is saying cave-eee-ats not cav-e-ats it's really annoying.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:42, Reply)
I hate it when people mispronounce stuff(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:45,
Reply)
I didn't invent English just for some radio 4 cunt to fuck it up(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:47,
Reply)
Best R4 one I've heardwas some flid referring to 'Pasty-gate' ie the hot food tax Gregg's thing as if it rhymed with 'tasty'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:45,
Reply)
In an episode dubbed pasty-gate a bus load of albinos on a day trip to the beach were locked out of their coach at midday, a witness described the scene 'crackling'(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:48,
Reply)
This is the best thing that's been on Radio 4 for yearswww.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14403432
Swedish man tries to make a nuclear reactor in his flat. He's straight faced interviewed on the Today program.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:50, Reply)
I imagine if anyone got together with youthey certainly wouldn't feel 'alright'.
Alt: No, YOUN are.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:44,
Reply)
Mary, Joseph and God would all be very disappointedif they were expected a saviour and instead got a bent spastic in their manger.
(
Kroney, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:46,
Reply)
"and instead got a bent spastic in their mong"?You're not very good at this.
(
Kroney, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:48,
Reply)
Careful or I'll shove my myrrh so far up your 'chunnel' you'll vomit Turkish delight(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:50,
Reply)
I think b3th's suggesting that you have sex with the mentally challenged up there^(
Kroney, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:52,
Reply)
That's surprising. You're usually so knowledgable about things!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:53,
Reply)
Everyone has a knowledge black spotFor you it's post 1992
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:59,
Reply)
Most intense and addictive of all the lols(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 17:58,
Reply)
Suggestions for a Christmas name please. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 18:00,
Reply)
Look me in the kneecaps and tell me you didn't lol a little bit(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 18:14,
Reply)
Why would I need to look down to tell you that? (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 18:16,
Reply)
I just want you to knowThat you're a fucking ugly bitch and I want to play around with your blood.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 18:25, Reply)
fuck knows what's happenedBut Nakers is being really rather amusing.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 18:15, Reply)
I want thisslayer.backstreet-merch.com/stores/slayer/official_slayer_jumpers_christmas-holidays-jumper_slay246.html
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 18:47,
Reply)
Alright Nakers.You gonna join us for a quick pint on Friday?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:21,
Reply)
Well I'm tellin' you now.I'll be in town for a couple of cheeky pints with some Internet hardmen.
Get involved.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:24,
Reply)
Will check what's goin on with the Doris, she dead in bed at the moment(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:26,
Reply)
Put on your track suit, light a cigar, get the gold on and SAVILE THE NIGHT AWAY!She's waiting.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:26,
Reply)
Not sure.Stunned is in charge of the pub. But I'd rather stay handy for my hotel.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:31,
Reply)
It is indeed.Is that any good for you?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:37,
Reply)
Yeah pretty easy actually...not promising though I have no idea Of plans at all(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:39,
Reply)
I wonder how I can go about making a cook book or a cooking show, I'd well love that, i'd be dead good at it.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:20,
Reply)
just put together a bunch of recipesAnd take good quality pictures of the dishes.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:27, Reply)
Have you ever done food photography?I once was at a studios for 8 hours to shoot a cup of coffee and a bacon sandwich
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:29,
Reply)
nopeOnly ever worked in catalogue modelling and Financial Services.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:33, Reply)
I BELIEVE IN YOU!(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:28,
Reply)
Take the lessons you learnt from 'Amaze Dogs' and go from there.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:29,
Reply)
A bunch of kids managed to do it on jr ApprenticeSure, they had money, backing and resources but don't give up your dream
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:39,
Reply)
or you can do a Nigella and make food filthy with a whopping pair of norks and some double entendres(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:41,
Reply)
I've seen none of you!If it's that bad get someone to present for you...
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:53,
Reply)
Geoffrey.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:29,
Reply)
How is publicanation going this evening?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:29,
Reply)
Not working tonight, Me and a friend are gonna go try some songs at an open Mic. Just waiting for lady piggles to get her glad rags on.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:31,
Reply)
Woo!Dedicate a song to 'JeffTheDogFucker from the Internet' please.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:32,
Reply)
I think i might just do that.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:42,
Reply)
any plans?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:31,
Reply)
NO!Actually yeah, sorted a few things out, looks like some of my stresses will be gone soon.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:33,
Reply)
I wasn't planning to.no. there is a guy that goes every week that likes to ruin pearl jam songs by being a talentless wanker.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:42,
Reply)
This one is the real test.Only a real man's man can carry it off, which is why Gordon Lightfoot's version was shit.
youtu.be/mdCdSLS6c5M
Pearl Jam are shit anyway.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:44, Reply)
to be honest dozer old boy, wee doing our own songs tonight.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:51,
Reply)
In a dance hall style they rule. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:15,
Reply)
last week he did black.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:51,
Reply)
As if by magic the sportscow arrived....(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:53,
Reply)
Good Evening JeffersI have far too much work to do
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:55,
Reply)
eveningyou shower of cunts
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 19:55,
Reply)
not yoursbut someone else's, please
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:08,
Reply)
I am in the mood to punch someone repeatedly in the face*PD, please get on a train to London immediately to facilitate this and let me know when you arrive.
* I have no particular reason why.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:08,
Reply)
Pay for your own ticket you beggar. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:14,
Reply)
I was ordering you, not inviting you. Wanker.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:21,
Reply)
Commanding you to do as you're told adminprick. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:24,
Reply)
oh babygirlI beat you in a slagging match and you resort to 'wanker'.
Sad times.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:26, Reply)
I've asked the bent spastic if he wants to join us on Friday.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:34,
Reply)
You could join us too.Get down early, have a fight with Battered and then winner gets free drinks all night.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:39,
Reply)
Someone will have to go to the bar for them(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:40,
Reply)
You mean humiliate him with a beating and a turkey slap to finish?(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:40, Reply)
A mushroom stamp....you're a real fungi.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:44,
Reply)
And with you being a sweaty...You're a JOCKstrap.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:46,
Reply)
The Communards less successful...(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:04,
Reply)
Now this is an invite no one could resist(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:39,
Reply)
You'll love it.I might even get you a beer.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:41,
Reply)
Hello.I'm looking forward to university. Tell me about University (I assume Graduates are a majority on here)
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:49, Reply)
i took my students round my old uni yesterdayI am so jealous, I want to go back
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:49,
Reply)
not sure I really want to give away my locationsuffice to say, it's not one of the fancy ones, I'm an artist so that rules out ones with ancient buildings and dreaming spires. Nowadays it's much nicer than when I went, more equipment, more space, less primary education teaching students
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:53,
Reply)
... It doesn't have to be ancient to be good, anyway. Sussex is superb and that's 60s build.If it's a redbrick or plateglass, it's good.
(I've not applied to Sussex btw, but praise where it's due. Same , of course, applies to Oxbridge/St Andrews et al)
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:55, Reply)
it wasn't either when I wentit's got a fancy new building now which has *some* plateglass
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:56,
Reply)
Was it a former poly/ uni college?Not that that'd make it bad. Plymouth is quite good.
(FYI, Have not applied there either FYI)
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:58, Reply)
it wasn't even a polyit was an institute of HE. Oh how I lolled when I applied
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:59,
Reply)
Why do you assume that?(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:01,
Reply)
Good point.I never went on to higher education (and yes, I know it shows).
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:03,
Reply)
Hardly. He wanted his username to be 'Dave'And that was as close as he came to spelling it correctly.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:09,
Reply)
Do you mean intelligent.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:10,
Reply)
Actually Wooders old palThere is a high correlation between educated & intelligent.
You should know that, but of course you don't because your school was free.
:'(
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:22, Reply)
Dead detectives aren't good at finding arses?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:28,
Reply)
If he'd gone to a decent school he'd know this.Sad times JTDF, sad times :'(
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:28, Reply)
lololol that was Brian Eno's less successful follow-up to "Dead Finks Don't Talk" lololololol
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:32,
Reply)
True, true.A friend of mine left last september and is already on a living wage in a factory skilled job.
Some of us 6th formers are wondering... "actually, was it him, that did the right thing, aren't we missing a trick here"
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:28, Reply)
Your friend had to get African bum disease before he could work in a factory....Broken Britain right there ladies and gentleman.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:30,
Reply)
Do you know your ABCs?(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:33,
Reply)
If any attractive young girls are out there, please, fuck me off, fuck me right off.Owz about that then eugheugheuegh shadwdehwadeh.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:05, Reply)
Nope.Although that's something you should maybe do, seeing as you have no fucking clue about it.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:09, Reply)
Funny you should say that.I've applied to Joint Politics bachelors degree courses.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:10, Reply)
So your story is in three years time you'll be cringing about the utter shit you posted on here about Thatcher and what a 'good wage' is?(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:11, Reply)
Possibly the good wage bit. I'll always admire Thatcher, though I don't support a political party anyway.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:13, Reply)
Posting it twice won't make you right!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:14,
Reply)
I think the second funniest post of yours was when you posted that 15K is a 'pretty decent wage'.(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:14, Reply)
It's a wage I wouldn't bloody want. No, I'm far too greedy...but, If I had to, I'd take on a job that paid that if I had no alternatives. Or worse ones.
I should make a point here- I think nobody should be in a position where they're better off out of work.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:16, Reply)
York, is it? I think I remember you said you lived in York and were Scottish?(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:17, Reply)
Yes I am Scots and live in York but it's not York.And how come you haven't applied to York?
Entry requirements too high?
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:18, Reply)
You can only pick 5. If I could have applied to 50, believe me York would have been on the list.All the ones I have chosen, were I felt, good enough. All top 30/top 25 in most rankings. All nice. Everyone smart.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:24, Reply)
If I'd wanted to pick a uni where you need to bust your arse to gain admission...,I'd have picked Warwick or Oxford, not York anyway.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:32, Reply)
It's certainly not better than either Aberystwyth or Essex for Politics. I'll tell you that now.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:47, Reply)
DudeNobody gives a fuck about where you study.
Nobody gives a fuck about your Tory supporting lols.
Nobody gives a fuck about where is better for politics.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:48, Reply)
I'd agree they don't. Just saying, In reply, that I have no reason to apply to York.(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:58, Reply)
In Aberystwyth, when they call all of the students together for a meetingDo they call it the Welsh Assembly?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:49,
Reply)
Top 30!Fucking hell. Vanilla got in to the Top 30 with 'No way, No way!'
Hardly ambitious.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:26,
Reply)
There are 170 Higher education institutions in the UK, so 30 is quite good tbh.(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:33, Reply)
I rest my case.www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGwB-f1xfxM
Proven to be correct once again I'll think you'll find.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:40,
Reply)
Is that why you didn't go there...You never met the minimum height requirements?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:25,
Reply)
Ha!Nah, they didn't do the course I wanted. BA (Hons) Catalogue Modelling & Knitwear (Joint Honours).
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:26, Reply)
But really, you didn't even decide to be courteous enough to ask me where I applied to.(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:07, Reply)
That would imply that I care.And that you are desperate to tell us.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:08, Reply)
I'm not going to pretend to be a Jew when you post.Promise.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:15,
Reply)
BUY MY FUCKING HOUSEplease
Evening all. This update brought to you by overtime, Champions League footy and Leffe Brun
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:54,
Reply)
i misread that as horse for a secondleaving me with a momentary glimpse of a story about a horse who has made itself thoroughly unpopular, probably from a series of slapstick moments involving dung and powerful back legs
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:56,
Reply)
OKBuy my horse too*
* I have no horse
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 20:57,
Reply)
Sorry.I don't require property in the north.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:00,
Reply)
Too much water can do that, especially if the outer casing was poorly moulded and weak along the seam.I keep telling 'em, the compressor feeding P3's got condensation problems but do they listen? Do they knackers.
(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:18,
Reply)
My fault.I misread his original post as 'I'd fucking destroy Ribena'.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Nov 2012, 21:20,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »