i just got a spam email which has to get 1/10 for being the laziest yet
"hi sorry babe i don't normally do this, but i just saw your pics on facebook and had to call. please message me. my name is terrywetwetwet".

terrywetwetwet? unbelievably shit.

what's the worst spam you've ever seen? alt: tell us something else unbelievably shit. apart from posting here at 3.30 on a friday, might as well be posting in a graveyard really.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:26, 109 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yeah, I don't think anybody in that band was called Terry.

( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Oh :(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:33, Reply)

In your own time, eh?

( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:35, Reply)

the late 1960s?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:35, Reply)

I watched that Rolling Stones Rock'n'Roll Circus thing
The other day. Viewing through post-Internet eyes, I just saw a bunch of men being lolwakki. In The Who's case, a bunch of liberal arts students. It made me :(
( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:39, Reply)

It's an oddity that, for sure.
The Who were good on that though I thought. The God-awful super-group thing is frightful and the Stones thought their own performance was terrible too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:56, Reply)

The thing is, I really like The Who when they're not
making silly, smug songs about paedophile milkmen.

I didn't mind Lennon's supergroup thing, except Yoko was there and mental.
( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:57, Reply)

James Hutchings.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:31, Reply)

terrible, if only terry had opened with 'yeh bebbeh, yo wan sum fuck'

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:32, Reply)

it's like you read my reply
are you terrywetwetwet?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:45, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1373691
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:33, Reply)

*feels it in my fingers*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:33, Reply)

are we doing this again?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:33, Reply)

How dare you call my emails spam?
I've had some truly surreal ones, just random series of words. But there's only one contender for the worst, which was one that contained thumbnails of actual child porn. Strangely that went to the police rather than to the deleted items folder.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:34, Reply)

that's distribution that is,
you're nearly as bad as saville
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:37, Reply)

haha, I suppose it is.
genuinely, it was proper creepy. And the pictures were horrible.

Edit - unlike all the really nice child porn, of course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:37, Reply)

had a good look did ya? researching a book were you?
you digust me
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:39, Reply)

It's OK, I get that reaction from a lot of people.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:40, Reply)

why, were they ugly kids?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Is that your child porn niche? you only like it if it involves pretty kids?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:00, Reply)

have you seen the kunt and the gang song on youtube?
sexy kids, sexy kids, made jimmy savile do what he did... it's so worryingly catchy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Wet Wet Wet were at number 1 the day I was born, fact fans.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:36, Reply)

My condolonces

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Child

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Nyeeeeeaah
fact rat
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:38, Reply)

runs VT

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:50, Reply)

MARTI PELLOW IS CUNT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Are you Russian?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:38, Reply)

äà

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:39, Reply)

this looked different in google translate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:42, Reply)

Ìîíòè çâåðñêèå è íèùåòó áðîäÿãà
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Doesn't have *quite* the same ring as 'Daniel Craig is Bond' does it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:39, Reply)

it's better and more truthfull

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:43, Reply)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm daniel craig

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:45, Reply)

daniel craig, rat fans
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:49, Reply)

this made me laugh so much
i wish it hadn't
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:52, Reply)

well,
not only is this man not cut out for journalism, i predict rise in cyclists getting knocked off their pedal machines.

www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/20454629
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:42, Reply)

cyclists are cunts, fact

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:45, Reply)

All of them without exception.
The simple act of riding a bicycle turns someone into a cunt.

Haha just kidding, it's just that cunts naturally gravitate to bicycles. The bike's got very little to do with it.
( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Hang on a minute - Wilf's a cyclist! What are you saying here?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:58, Reply)

so is Al...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:59, Reply)

but....but.........

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:01, Reply)

I concur

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:14, Reply)

It'll be disappointing being knocked off by something slower than you are, though.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:46, Reply)

what the fuck is that piece of shit?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Blatant snobbery
if the car doesn't have spark plugs made from dinosaur ivory, you look down on it.
( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:55, Reply)

it's not even a car

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:57, Reply)

What is it, then?

( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:06, Reply)

i have a sexy sexy car
that's probably what terrywetwetwet had seen on fb, to be fair
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:59, Reply)

AMG or Gay

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:00, Reply)

its a "car"
i love the noise it makes when it starts up, really throaty.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:02, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1791597
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:03, Reply)

No more powerful than a moped?
Bugger-all use in hilly towns and cities then.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:54, Reply)

mayeb you should stay and contribute then!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:44, Reply)

:(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Why the sad face?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Live it up

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:48, Reply)

no need for sad faces when the day ends in 11 minutes and you have Black sabbath on

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Only Windy Pig has the POWEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Quick, get Battle Cat !!!!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Phillijoe, we need to borrow your youngest child

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:55, Reply)

hahaha!
officeloltastic
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:55, Reply)

10/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:59, Reply)

*checks username*
*checks username again*

...
( Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:01, Reply)

it's ok, you are still smelly French bastard Le Kroney

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Huh?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:55, Reply)

He-Man

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I know that!
I was doing Black Sabbath lyrics
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:58, Reply)

ignore him, he's paranoid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:58, Reply)

LTI.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:00, Reply)

I will in a few mins I'm all done for the day
I'll leave you all with this as it made me lol, watch to the end:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDxrfEeRYAk&feature=watch_response
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:03, Reply)

You didn't say please so no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:07, Reply)

what?
huh?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:03, Reply)

OI KRONEY
If you like The Who I can lend you all sorts of excellent DVDs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Townsend's research stock?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Really?
I thought better of this website than to get off colour jokes of this kind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:21, Reply)

also for anyone who hasn't seen this yet
amazingly catchy

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

i love the kidney guy, he's soooo cute
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Ben Hardwick?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Oh no he was the liver guy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)

you're thinking of albert fish (again)

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Kroney, pretend you're dyselxic and you'll be in there.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Hello people of the Internet.
Just wanted to spam OT to let you know about the room upgrade I have just benefited from.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Kennel, surely?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:31, Reply)

Stunned and I* will be at the pub from 6.
* I may be there before this.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:33, Reply)

I wanted to leave work 13 minutes ago :(
who raises a fucking bug at 10 to 5 on a Friday?

EDIT: haha its definitely their fault. OUTTA HERE
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:16, Reply)

tl:dr

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:42, Reply)

*taps screen*
Hello?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Still here, just having my "lunch" I've been in the workshop all day.
Gaz me your address so I can send a CD over.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:13, Reply)

DONE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Have a good one with the guys tonight.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:36, Reply)

I will.
But I shall be behaving myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:43, Reply)

Just goes to show
You don't have to get massively fucked up to have a good time.


:o(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:44, Reply)

*cancels cherry wine order*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:46, Reply)

lolwetwetwet

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:38, Reply)

my dad and I've been having a lovely conversation
him "Someone said she's lost a lot of weight"
me "Yup. She's pregnant now"
him "Don't lose weight"
me "What?"
him "You'll lose weight and end up pregnant. Fuck that."
me "..."
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:39, Reply)

That's SCIENCE that is.
That's why Posh Spice keeps poppin' 'em out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:42, Reply)

I'd imagine she has a clunge like Nikki Lauders ears.
Having pissed out that many kids.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:45, Reply)

I'm in the pub.
Pinted up and considering a tab. Beat that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:43, Reply)

tl:dr

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:44, Reply)

I got silver glitter platform high heels today
I feel like a winner
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:52, Reply)

in our culture
'Glitter platform shoes' have darker connotations
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 18:17, Reply)

such as?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 18:25, Reply)

if you don't know you can't be in our gang

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 18:42, Reply)

i tell you what's shit
having to go into work on Saturday morning when you've worked past 7 for 2 days this week as well :(

Cavy is a grumpy Cavy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 18:18, Reply)