Thread number one, no harm done.
This morning, right, I took the only free seat available in the carriage and the bird in the next seat was so titanically fat that I had to perch on the front edge of the seat and lean forward to achieve even a semblance of sitting down. Then I opened the paper and read that one in three final year primary school children in Britain is overweight or obese. That's fucking child abuse.

Fat cunts, eh? They're so....fat.

Alt: Trading places:
Whose life would you not mind swapping with? I mean this entirely superficially OK: no-one is asking you to abandon your loved ones etc so calm down. For me it's Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. I know he's a smug, speccy wanker and that his quasi-self-sufficiency is a lie propped up by his book sales and TV wages AND that getting up at 2am to stick your arm up a cow's jacksie or whatever probably isn't as LOL as it looks on TV but I still feel a slight pang of jealously when I see his semi-rural life. So for me it's Hugh or Keith Richards, either would be OK, thanks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:16, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hasn't there been several instances of children being judged on their BMI and it producing crazy results?
Also, I wonder how much of it is down to school dinners. I don't know how much they will have changed since I left, but they were hugely unhealthy when I was there.

Alt: Charles Saatchi.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:24, Reply)

They seem to be getting round that by reducing the portion size and increasing the price.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:26, Reply)

My daughter's school dinners are fucking frightful: chicken nuggets etc.
If you get that shit at home as well you are pretty much doomed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:26, Reply)

Before I realised how easy and enjoyable it was to cook, I used to have chicken nuggets a couple of times a week
Not because they were nice, but because they were seriously cheap, and at the end of a long day, I couldn't be arsed.

Glad that attitude has fucked off, long done with chicken nuggets and chips for tea. Tonight's tea will likely be butternut squash and chilli soup.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:28, Reply)

last night I made myself a packed lunch
And then left it in the fridge this morning. What a dufus.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:30, Reply)

I've started either keeping soup at work, or cooking chicken the night before, shredding it and putting it into the fridge
In the morning, add the chicken and some frozen veg into the steamer, take it to work, then at lunchtime put some water in the bottom, and there's a healthy (but a bit dull) lunch for you.

Also, I am aware that there are several euphemisms in the post above
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

And what, may I ask, is a 'dufus'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

you know, a wiener.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:36, Reply)

You're saying that you are a frankfurter?
You really are a frightfully odd little man, Brittas.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:37, Reply)

It's probably similar to a doofus I imagine

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:37, Reply)

close, yeah, a near cousin

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:40, Reply)

Morning Monts
I'd trade places with someone whose boiler was working as I currently having no hot water. I am now waiting in for the plumber who will arrive at 8AM haha.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:24, Reply)

Unlucky mon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:24, Reply)

We had a lad shaving at work yesterday for this same reason
Made me laugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:25, Reply)

I draw the line at cold showers in the winter
Apparently he was held up in the Blackwall Tunnel. Fucking highwaymen.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:28, Reply)

I refuse to have cold showers at any time
My shower stopped working for a few days recently, ended up having a whores bath every day, before heading to a friend's for a shower after a couple of days.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:30, Reply)

Had some at the height of summer. Marvellous, they were.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:40, Reply)

Wow that's a pretty far-fetched excuse for being late in this day and age.
'Honest guv I wernt in the caff I was being robbed by Dick Turpin'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:32, Reply)

He was out of the tunnel when I phoned at 8:25 so "should be with you in a few minutes"
In his hovervan? Rush hour London traffic doesn't allow one to pop next door "in a couple of minutes".

I can work from home, though, so I might as well get stuff done.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:39, Reply)

I'd swap with John Berger, just to see what it's like to have a mind as majestic as that.
In other news, I am listening to an old Adam Freeland mix. I wish breakbeat would come back, there were some stunning records around back then.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:24, Reply)

Adam Freeland was the chap with the stupid car stereo, right?
I found that breaks scene to be basically slowed-down old hardcore. Nothing particularly wrong with that but pretty meh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:29, Reply)

car stereo? you what?
You're thinking of a different strand of breaks. Freeland did nu skool breaks. Stuff like Forme, Bushwacka and Evil Nine.

Slowed down hardcore is more jump up breaks, like what your mate Matt Cantor was making.

Edit: The Next Level by Ils just came on. That's a fucking perfect breakbeat track.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Adam Freeland was famous for having a 4k rig or some stupid shit in his car as a stereo.
Some US muscle car. Claimed it permanently ruined his hearing.

The prick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:39, Reply)

I didn't know that.
His mixing is impeccable, and this mix was done on vinyl. You into Sasha at all? Some of his vinyl mixes are easily on par with the stuff he does on Ableton. Ridiculously high calibre mixing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:43, Reply)

I saw him a few times in the early 90s.
Great technician, but a little fond of the gay end of the house spectrum for my tastes. Carl Cox is technically v good too, and played better records (back then).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:45, Reply)

yeah, Sasha did used to play really bent house and trance but then he went underground house and breaks about ten years ago.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:50, Reply)

He used to end with Space Face by Sub Sub which is one of my all time favourite dance records
and the end result of one of the only eBay bidding wars I have ever got involved in. I thought 'I will pay almost anything for this' and it was a costly decision.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:01, Reply)

you know the indie band Doves?
They used to be Sub Sub.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)

The Next Level by the Alkaholiks is better.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:40, Reply)

the next level of alcoholism is better than both
*opens value gin*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:44, Reply)

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here.
Otherwise you would be basing a comparison of two records, only one of which you have actually heard.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:44, Reply)

oh man
Percussive Thinking. I fucking love that drugged out, heads down, 3 am, dirty sound.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Oh man indeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:01, Reply)

you know that tune?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:04, Reply)

No, I am laughing at your drugged out, heads down, 3am, dirty sound.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:07, Reply)

you love that shit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

I got confused and thought John Berger was Jamie Bulger briefly

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)

The one thing I don't get with really fat people
is when they get to the "so fat as to be bedridden stage" why can't the person who keeps bringing them the pizza be prosecuted for abuse?
Should be self-regulating by then, soon lose weight if you can't get to the fridge.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:24, Reply)

I genuinely don't understand how people can get to be that fat, it must take serious effort.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:25, Reply)

because it's not abuse if they are freely choosing to be a corpulent singularity.
HTH xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:27, Reply)

'Corpulent Singularity' sounds like a really shit metal band.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:29, Reply)

+ that you like

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:30, Reply)

Fuck no
A friend of mine is in a band with a name so fucking ridiculous even I refuse to listen to them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:31, Reply)

Is that friend 'Vipros', by any chance?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

No, he deleted me off facebook ages ago
/woe
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

Morning Al.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:37, Reply)

Hi!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Hi 'real Al'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:06, Reply)

I think I might start the 'Campaign For Real Al'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:06, Reply)

This is an excellent plan.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Rural is awful though.
Just all cowshit and ugly men in dirty clothes.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:24, Reply)

But that's my life now, only with cowshit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:27, Reply)

'Morning everybody.
Carriage eh? Was the landau in for a service?

Alt: Anybody without a cold.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:25, Reply)

Juliet?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:29, Reply)

Romeo?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:31, Reply)

I *think* it's Bartleby, AA.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:31, Reply)

Meh, tits are tits.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:32, Reply)

Well, you can keep your hands off mine.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

Bitch.
Also, just to clarify, this is what I was referring to above
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

Bit skinny for me.
I'd make the effort though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:36, Reply)

You'd suffocate her.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

There are ways and means to avoid this.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:01, Reply)

snorkels

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:09, Reply)

would.
JSSK xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:39, Reply)

Something along these lines
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20693566
In my school days it was a bit like Nigella Lawson’s fake friends on her programmes one token fatty one token black one token Chinese, however the last parents evening I attended I was shocked at the amount of overweight kids.

Alt:Kroney I would love to have 3 weeks off
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:29, Reply)

We were so multicultural in Winchester that we had a black person.
Honestly, we did. He was called 'Black Rob'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:31, Reply)

So multicultural you named it?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:32, Reply)

No no, it was named by someone else a long time before I moved there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:38, Reply)

one of the perks of working somewhere as multicultural as Leeds
Is great curries and fit black girls.

Then back to York, possibly the whitest city in England. Best of both worlds.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:47, Reply)

I pulled an epically fit* Jamican girl in "Carwash" in Leeds about 15 years ago
whilst I was wearing a massive afro wig. There's probably some level of irony in there that would make the entire EDL explode.

*in fairness I was utterly wombled so she might equally have been a bit rough. My memory says fit, but my memory is a fickle mistress where gin is involved.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:26, Reply)

We were supposed to have a Sikh kid like that in our school
I never saw him though I think he was a Turban myth
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:48, Reply)

there's a guy who DJs in York and he has one of the worst DJ names ever.
Sikh and Destroy.

This is no joke.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Is he any good?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:53, Reply)

if you like dubstep
He's alright.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Then the shit name is forgivable
Lots of great artists/bands and DJ’s have shit names as long as there good I can overlook that
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:08, Reply)

'him' not 'it'

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:16, Reply)

innit

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Alt: Jeff Bezos (founder of Amazon.com) or if I can go back in time then Hitler.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

I think you would make a wonderful Hitler

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

That's such a compliment. Thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:57, Reply)

Can't say I've noticed at my kids primary school
The one in threes must be at a different school or something.

Alt: Mickey Rooney. All he does is get a prime seat at the Oscars every year and a standing ovation for managing to still be alive.

*looks at that S-car go*
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:01, Reply)

^ LOOK WHO IT IS, IF INDEED THIS IS WHO IT IS!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:21, Reply)

I saw a massively overweight child at the theatre on Tuesday.
He was out of breath walking up the stairs to his seat and would have only been about 10 years old. I made me cross and angry and slightly aroused all at the same time :(
( wanderlust, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:03, Reply)

you should have punched it in the tits

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I'm not a complete monster Nakers.

( wanderlust, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

you'd have being doing it a favour
humiliate itb into losing weight, taht's the only sensible course of action
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:15, Reply)

I like it when their breathing sounds like beatboxing when they waddle along.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Oh man, fat kid on the stairs id a perfect oppurtunity to relive that scene from the hit movie Hook.
STRRRRRRIIIIIIKEE!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:11, Reply)

+ s

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:18, Reply)

YOU'RE A SHIT MOVIE!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

I've never seen 'Hooks'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:30, Reply)

*squeaky voices*
*waits till end of movie*

*SHOUTS VERY LOUDLY AND MENACINGLY*
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Fat people represent all that is wrong with the world
alt: I second the choice of HFW and will pick James Hunt, playboy formula one driver
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:06, Reply)

You already are a massive 'James Hunt', Nakers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:08, Reply)

you see, i thought about putting Steve McQueen as I i thought someone would make this joke
then I thought, nah, it's so obvious and shit no one would bother except maybe hardrock the hare and no one listens to her anyway.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Alt: Tom Jones.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Ironically, that IS unusual.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:07, Reply)

*This is a Staff Announcement*
*Can we have an irony check on aisle 3*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

*can Mr Brittas please come to the customer service desk, thank you*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Got to love the announcements at Whitby New Town Leisure Centre.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:23, Reply)

today's porridge update
too lumpy
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Sounds like a testicular infection
you should see a doctor.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

It's OK, catastrophic food shortages should deal with that over the next 50 years or so.
I'm quite up for swapping with Hugh and all. Or Brian Cox, not because I especially rate him as a physicist but because you could get an outrageous amount of science geek blart being Cox, without the comeback of actually doing it as myself.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:22, Reply)

i find him really rather irritating
I think it's because he is northern
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:25, Reply)

He does my fucking head in
but the "no really I love science me" girls postively aquaplane for him
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Euphamism of the day
really can't be arsed with today, which is unfortunate as i have rather a lot to do
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

'Isn't spaaaace amaaaaaazing?'
He reminds me of that 'brilliaaant' character on The Fast Show.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

I love the fact that his presenting style requires him to constantly be standing on a beach
sand dune or cliff, whilst wearing expensive technical outdoor clothing and pointing at the sky.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:36, Reply)

+more intelligent than I'll ever be

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:30, Reply)

not with that accent he won't be, FACT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Yay I have hot water again!
Well, I will have when it finishes warming up.

"Blimey, look at the state o' this then, eh?" Said the man. It's a bit knackered. Thermostat reset and the on-peak one might be broken but if he removes it he might split the tank. Still, as long as I don't leave the hot tap running all day, or take a shower while running the washer I should have enough.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:29, Reply)

POTD

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:30, Reply)

Christmas do last night
I haven't even got round to starting my hangover yet.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:35, Reply)

I'm taking my research group out tonight
"proper" Christmas work do tomorrow and then hockey club one on Saturday night.

I'm going to be RUINED.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I'm trying to figure out what I drank last night
It appears to be two bottles of red and around 8 pints of Guinness
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:39, Reply)

You have, presumably, worked this out because your shit is blacker than Satan's soul?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

I have yet to poo
I fear the poo
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Hello, working stiffs. I've just got out of bed.

(kroney2, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Morning Q.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:52, Reply)

FUCKEN WHAT!

(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Shocking, unfounded allegations there.
You should sue.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

i've got my best men on it already
this guys tits will spin so fast before his wallet even hits the fan
(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:56, Reply)

this^ is fucking brilliant

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:57, Reply)

You're fucken awesome, dude

(kroney2, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)

i'm totally scarped right now

(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:06, Reply)

another OT-er tips over into alcoholism
sad times
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:07, Reply)

hey baby jesus
did your absent dad ever make maintenance payments? If not i could totally fuck up the catholic church for you
(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:09, Reply)

the fucker only had me so i could be sacrificed
Jeremy Kyle would have a fucking field day with us
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)

An excellent phrase

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:09, Reply)

better than being montied, gonzo'ed or rachelswiped any day

(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:14, Reply)

not as good as being aped though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:16, Reply)

what i wouldn't give for a good aping right now

(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:17, Reply)

I'd ape you into next week sweet heart

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:17, Reply)

g+

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:18, Reply)

why'd you have to make it something sexual?
you freak
(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)

he has some pretty fucking deep issues that boy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:24, Reply)

How does it make you feel to know he was touching himself as he read your post?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:25, Reply)

i bet he was touching himself internally

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:26, Reply)

And you're calling me perverted?
when you knew what it meant, and now you're off on some sick fantasy of your own?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:29, Reply)

typical evasive denial here, classic pervert behaviour

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:30, Reply)

I felt sick just reading it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Takes one to know one :P

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:35, Reply)

going for a poo
brb
(quintsy, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I've just seen Alberts melt down on QOTW.
Christ that man needs help.

SP.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)

for fucks sake link it man

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:11, Reply)

no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:12, Reply)

ok then...er...thanks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:16, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/mademelaugh/post1802064
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:14, Reply)

oh i've seen that...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:14, Reply)

there is a part 2 as well.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:20, Reply)

not as yet, but have patience

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:21, Reply)

SP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Top class isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:22, Reply)

could be the new emvee

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)

It almost made your SP meme funny.
Almost.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)

SP

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:26, Reply)

+I'M A BENT
+ ASTIC
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:33, Reply)

*sigh*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Start a fackin thread someone

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:37, Reply)

you'll only poo poo it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Yes but I naysay and poo-pooh everything so start one anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)

Seems legit? I should reply, right? Your friend, Survey.
Leivtra - 1.81$
** Cilais - 1.69$
++ Vaigra - 0.81$

Sick and tired of non-effective medications? Get rid of them! Here you will get the most qualitative and effective pills of every kind!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)

OK, this is doing my head in,
Three times now I've tried to post the whole message I got, but it keeps not showin the first part, even after I paste to and then copy out of 'Notebook' first.

So I'm just going to leave it sitting here not making sense now.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:44, Reply)

We just assume you're back on the bottle tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU THREAD!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:43, Reply)