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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck that thread it stinks of Stunned's eggy guff in there.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:41, 173 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Jesus Christ, Superstar
Rides down town on a Yamaha.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Dustbin lid lolz

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:42, Reply)
We three Kings of Leicester Square...

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:42, Reply)
When shepherds washed their socks by night...

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:43, Reply)
All eating fish and chips...

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Oooh remix!
I know it as 'all watching BBC'
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:44, Reply)
The angel of the Lord came down
and switched to ITV

LOL!!!!
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:45, Reply)
One on a scooter, blowing a hooter.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Robin laid an egg

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Brightly shone his arse that night

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:53, Reply)
I think it finished with some sort of angel charging these kings 'three and six'.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Old skool, nigga

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Pretty cheap for a reverse Dutch steamboat.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:48, Reply)

...all seated by the tub
The angel of the lord appeared
And wanked all of them off
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Kevin Keeg, Superstar

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:42, Reply)
I'm doin a quiz
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20761845
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:43, Reply)
I got 9.
That's quite impressive, considering I'm now old enough for alzheimers.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
I got six :(

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I got seven
Although I fucked up at least one really obvious one due to trying to do two things at once.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:56, Reply)
STOP WANKING AT YOUR DESK

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Why?
Advantages of a private office with views over fields, it's only some rabbits that can see.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:17, Reply)
I never had you down as a furry, badge.
Although I suppose the name should have been a clue.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Hey, I'm not wanking over the rabbits. Yet.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Jesus can see you.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:27, Reply)
i can, he has a stapler up his arse

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:38, Reply)
It was a Rexel prolapse

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:39, Reply)
This deserves more credit than it's actually going to get.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Good luck to him.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:48, Reply)
7 for me

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:58, Reply)
And another six in part two.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:02, Reply)
I got 8 and 6 in parts one and two.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Me too!
But I have a reputation to protect so can't admit how badly I did
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:59, Reply)
I might need another lunch

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:46, Reply)
I bet your cock does, too.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:48, Reply)
zinger lols

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Oh, I say.
Effortlessly clipped off the pads to fine leg.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
I have Lords Ashes tickets :o)

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Well done sir. Good stuff

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:56, Reply)
hopefully we'll give them a jolly good thrasing

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:03, Reply)
I hope you don't have tickets for days 4 or 5

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:06, Reply)
are you expecting it to be all over by day 3?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Lunchtime on
Assuming we bat first. 600-1 dec by tea on the second day (Cook 400*), Aussies all out for 20summat next morning.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:14, Reply)
I think I might have to prod my MCC mate
I fancy sitting in the Member's Pavillion and hurling genteel abuse at Michael Clarke.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:16, Reply)
The Mitchell Johnson song is the best.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:19, Reply)
I actually don't know this song
which is what happens if you get most of your cricket via BBC live text instead of TMS
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Woooah ... he bowls to the left, he bowls to the right, that Mitchell Johnson, his bowling is shite.
Accompanyed by standing up, holding a stubby and swaying left and right.

W B Yeats it ain't.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:24, Reply)
That's underwhelming
I was hoping for something specifically tailored to his tatts, or summat. You could just substitute "Mitchell Johnson" with any other four-syllable name. Up to and including "Joel Garner", if you couldn't afford your own dentistry.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Well, except Mitchell Johnson very specifically and publically has massive problems with his line.
but, yeah.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Warney had plenty of problems with "lines"
and he was still the greatest bowler of all time. Glenn McGrath my fucking hairy arse.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:31, Reply)
live version
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0RzX926l4g
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Yeah ... kinda don't do that at Lords though, old chap. Not the done thing.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I've got egg sandwiches and now no one will sit next to me :(
Perhaps they'll change their minds when they see I've got some Hedgehog crisps.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Hedgehog murderer.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
To be fair it was five hundred pricks to one

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I didn't realise they still made hedgehog crisps.
I've not seen 'fish n chips' crisps in years either.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Now fish n chips crisps were nice.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:57, Reply)

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/4526817/Burtons-Fish-N-Chips-is-voted-your-fave-retro-snack.html
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:59, Reply)
The only time egg sandwiches are acceptable is when it's fried as part of a breakfast sandwich, and when it's an omelette.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:25, Reply)
an...omelette sandwich?
How vulgar.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:27, Reply)
I like it, but only when it's egg and nothing else.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Fuck i'm tired, I may have to have quick bog nap

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:06, Reply)
post wank blues

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:12, Reply)
I'd rather he didn't post that.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Or sing it
like in the old Blue Riband advert
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:15, Reply)
woke up this mornin'
duh duh duh duh duh
had a big wank
duh duh duh duh duh
stretched out my cock
duh duh duh duh duh
to touch my arsehole
duh duh duh duh duh
but it didn't reeaaaaccchhhhh
Oh it's the post wanking blues
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Can you not do the suicide blues?
"Din't wake up this morning' "
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:23, Reply)
HOW WOULD I WRITE IT IF I WAS DEAD YOU IDIOT

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Biggie Smalls did alright

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Localboy's sense of humour.
There's more life in a tramp's vest.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:29, Reply)
YOUN WOULD KNOW

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:30, Reply)
I don't know this song
but then again I'm just looking
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Oh do hurry up and wait.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:39, Reply)
Word gets around, eh?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:41, Reply)
I've heard that Tone Lokers here
Only has enough education to perform and no more.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Wrapping presents,
litsening to enslaved, drinking a beer. Ladypig is away all day and night. Get the feeling tonight might be blissful
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:14, Reply)
I recommend wanking until you're spaffing dust

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:19, Reply)
that's wank number one for Monty

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:20, Reply)
I dunno,
maybe later on.
Awww, neighbours just complained that its too loud. I hadn't even got round to turning my second amp on. I hate when they're in during the day.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Cunts, WP. They're oppressing your artistic freedom and that.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:26, Reply)
not really,
they have a newborn baby that doesn't like norwegian metal very much.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:40, Reply)
It needs to learn.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Newborns tend to be more into doom metal.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:42, Reply)
funnily enough, they would probably like drone metal
they love a bit of white noise either way
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:50, Reply)
I saw somone with an asymmetric umbrella this morning
seemed like a fairly good idea
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:23, Reply)
asymmetric how?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Smaller at the front with a longer rear, like so
images.businessweek.com/ss/08/07/0717_idea_winners/image/g_senz_xl_storm_umbrel.jpg
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Looks shit.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:26, Reply)
So does your face

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:26, Reply)

The SENZ XL storm umbrella is the first aerodynamic golf umbrella. Due to its asymmetric design, the SENZ XL storm umbrella automatically finds the best position in the wind, making it comfortable and easy to use, even in strong gusts. The patented construction makes the umbrella windproof up to 70 MPH. Additionally, the umbrella will not invert. The specially shaped ‘eye savers’ provides protection from dangerous tips and the aerodynamic shape of the umbrella gives the user an excellent view. The opening mechanism has been integrated into the handle, while the smooth oval shaft suits the umbrella's aerodynamic design.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:27, Reply)
that's a lot of fucking fannying about
for something that's fundamentally less waterproof than skin.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:28, Reply)
umbrellas are shit, just wear a hat.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:28, Reply)
A hat won't keep your shoulders and trousers dry though will it?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:30, Reply)
If only there was a hat that came down over your shoulders and legs
in the manner of "a coat"
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:31, Reply)
yeah, but he didn't say coat did he, he said hat

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:32, Reply)
No-one said coat
I was putting it into the mixer
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:34, Reply)
I wouldn't, it takes fucking AGES to get the fibres out of the blender mechanism afterwards.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Really not much to do north of the wall is there?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:45, Reply)
If Nakers and Tangles are to be believed, I'm reduced to wanking over rabbits with a stapler up my arse.
I'm actually facing the utter futility of trying to chose a pram by any other method more logical than throwing a fucking dart at some pictures on the wall, but the former image is probably a better one.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Second hand bugaboo chameleon was great for us and grows with the sproglet

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:56, Reply)
No good for us, they weigh quite a lot more than most others
and we live in a first floor tenament flat.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:00, Reply)
maybe should have got yourself a proper house before you got pregnant,

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:19, Reply)
Nah, this has got more floorspace than most people's houses
It'll do for the moment.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Are you pregnant badge?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:59, Reply)
no, you heartless bastard, it's just water retention.

Mrs B is, yes.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:00, Reply)
yeah we've ditched it for a basic maclaren now of this reason
no good for a newborn though.

How is Mrs. B getting on? Any idea of it's sex?
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:02, Reply)
I'm guessing Mrs B is female.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:04, Reply)
It takes a lot to get past you, jeffers.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:12, Reply)
She's doing OK, ta
nope, no idea, don't want to know.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:14, Reply)
You're going to need to know once it is born.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Do I?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:20, Reply)
If only for naming purposes.
Unless you are going for one of those unisex names.
But it's one of those questions people expect you to know the answer to once they are born.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:22, Reply)
Nosy fucking bastards.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Congratulations on your fully functioning reproductive abilities.
I sincerely hope that you are making the most of your final days of freedom by going out and drinking as much booze as you can.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Thank you
I have been drunk constantly since the 20 week scan, ta.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:14, Reply)
Good stuff.
You have to remember that you are drinking for two now.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Three, technically.
Mrs B isn't drinking either.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:19, Reply)
I meant her.
Babies don't really need beer until at least six months old.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:20, Reply)
yeah, but they definitely need me to drink gin for them

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:22, Reply)
Definitely.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Ewwwww breeders :(

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:11, Reply)
Well someone's got breed some intelligent fucking children
We're positively selecting for retardedness and XFactor as a species these days.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:13, Reply)
MUTANTS

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:22, Reply)
If you want to be dry live in the desert.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:32, Reply)

ry ead
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Capt Placid seems to survive

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:37, Reply)
But will it stop cunts from getting the the fucking way with their umbrellas?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:30, Reply)
only death would do taht

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:31, Reply)
i mean,
how hard would t be to find a photo online of a product that is clearly for sale?
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:24, Reply)
i dun you a picture

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:25, Reply)
alright Nakey-Noos my main nizzle?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:25, Reply)
tired and bored, wish i was wfh
then I'd go back to bed I think
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:26, Reply)
And i have to go to Westfield tonight to do Christmas shopping
BAD TIMES
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:37, Reply)
You have a whole Irish boy band to help you?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:38, Reply)
strike 1 AND 2

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:39, Reply)
Nasty

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:42, Reply)
I know, i may need some dutch courage

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Jesus fuck man, are you MENTAL?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:44, Reply)
well I have to buy shit for the wife, and it's undercover
and the sales have started
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Still
*pours a 40 out for Nakers*
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I'm scared now
hold me
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:55, Reply)
*holds*
It's OK, it's not gay unless our winkies touch.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:56, Reply)
*puts winky away*

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:56, Reply)
What are you doing with the rest of your Teletubbies?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Sticking them up his Laa-laa and getting Emvee to take photographs.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:11, Reply)
*clicks*

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:15, Reply)
the image challenge this week is really shit.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:25, Reply)
agreed

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:26, Reply)
I am now full of Italian food and Peroni
That is better
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Ahh, shuddapyaface.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Wassa matter Jeff
Hey?
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:08, Reply)
A lack of respect.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Why you looking so sad, hey?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:09, Reply)
It's a nice place.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:11, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1814507
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:11, Reply)
From whom?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:09, Reply)
It's a not so bad.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:10, Reply)
It IS a nicea place

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:11, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1814536
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Is it 5:30 yet?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Apparently not

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I'm on the heineken in those little cans.
They don't last very long do they?
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:14, Reply)
Can't remember the last time I drank Heineken

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Barely a gob full, mate.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Battle fitness resumed.
Move along. Nothing to see here.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:12, Reply)
you feeling alright now?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:15, Reply)
3 drink rule, Piggers.
Turned out 5 was the charm.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:17, Reply)
I've just had an office buffet, complete with champagne and low-alcohol bucks fizz.
I am fed and happy.

Anybody else fed and happy?
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:17, Reply)
*raises hand*

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:17, Reply)
2 Sains peppered steak slices and a few shants.
That'll do nicely.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:19, Reply)
A Cubano Toastie from Eat.
It was rather pleasant, would eat again.
(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:23, Reply)
I've done a new thread.

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:18, Reply)

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