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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Seeing as Lokesy's such a FUCKING WANKER here's a proper thread with a main question:
Why is Lokesy such a FUCKING WANKER?

Alt: Why is Lokesy such a MASSIVE FLIDMO?

Altalt: WHY?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:17, 134 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Did you see that Bowie has a new song out?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:19, Reply)
Has he now.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:20, Reply)
Apparently it's to celebrate his 66th birthday.
I'd have been happy if he'd just bought doughnuts.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:23, Reply)
I'd have been even happier if he'd have stuck a lollipop in his eye.
Again.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:24, Reply)
He's a massive wanker..
..as he's clearly using a terrible natural disaster to cover for the fact that he's, even as we speak, furiously sexgazzing Poppet every two minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:20, Reply)
Playing the conflagration card.
A new low in a lifetime of lows. Fucks sake Lokesy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:22, Reply)
You cunt
The alt question was going to be "doing anything interesting LIKE GETTING STRANGLED?" but I left that out cos I'm not a MASSIVE CUNT
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:21, Reply)
It's certainly an 'interesting' experience.
You should try it ON YOURSELF.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:24, Reply)
Incidentally, is a Flidmo a hover mower with blades that are way too short?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:24, Reply)
No. God Lokesy you FUCKING WANKER.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:25, Reply)
Still sounds like "Kevin"
With unresolved anger issues, understandably.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:27, Reply)
It's because of his crippling obsession with those late-nineties purveyors of epically bland plod rock, the Stereophonics.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:29, Reply)
Keep calm and carry on.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:31, Reply)
Oh Christ.
I'd call them a 'pub band that got lucky' only pub bands are frequently entertaining, fun and have halfway competent singers and guitarists.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:32, Reply)
I liked it when their mong-faced drummer died.
That bit was good.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:34, Reply)
There's more life in a tramp's vest, what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:36, Reply)
I'd stopped even paying them cursory attention by then. did they then write a series of clumsily mawkish dirges?
Also: I once upset someone on the Melody Maker forum by suggesting that one of Feeder killing themselves would be great for them as a) it's give them something fucking real to actually write songs about other than crappy rhymes about lemons and b) he was only a drummer anyway, who'd going to notice?
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:38, Reply)
I've always loved them. They're nearly as good as Terrorvision.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:40, Reply)
You only need one arm to drum, so how hard can it be?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:41, Reply)
That was such a happy day for me.
Really put a spring in my step.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:41, Reply)
I saw Feeder at Download 2005
I've never seen a more bipolar set.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:49, Reply)
Brownload MORE LIKE!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:04, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:11, Reply)
They're no Semisonic; best of all the sonic named bands.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:09, Reply)
This thread is well shit.
I'm fucking off to hang out with my new mates on /newsletter.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:36, Reply)
They're all dogfingering cunts.
I was second-smallest loser on QOTW last week, but you call Rob a dog-fingerer just once and BOY do you ever miss out on your moment in the limelight..
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:40, Reply)
He was really shit yesterday, I can only assume he's had a severe stroke
Morning all, I think today might be shit
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:40, Reply)
I've just had a text from Poppet.
She's not in any danger, but would very much like Lokesy to fuck off with the cockgazzing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Clickin' dis.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:50, Reply)
There are worse.
Alt: A dingo took his baby.

AltAlt: Fuck knows, but it led to a (seemingly) pretty shameful police cover up.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Did anyone see ripper street on Sunday night?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Me.
I watched two episodes back to back. It's shit and the main bloke cannot act for toffee.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:19, Reply)
oh, this is dissapointing

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:23, Reply)
I watched the first one and it was OK
Going to watch episode 2 tonight
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:24, Reply)
Shame, he was pretty good in Spooks.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:25, Reply)
Morning Boycey
In local news, the river near my house is now back in the river, mostly. In fact, there is about the right amount of groundwater left, with a good freeze, I'll be out ice skating on the common.

how are you today? Any riveting local news?

alt: I imagine local boy has a large face.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Thank God you're here.
This lot are fucking dreadful.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
mention try talking about crisps

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:17, Reply)
i got distracted ALRIGHT

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:18, Reply)
The Hives' less well knownzzzzzzz..

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:26, Reply)
I'd like to know what you were going for here.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:36, Reply)
try talking about crisps
or

mention crisps.

I took a call half way through writing
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
i heard you can show a movie on his forehead

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Alt: so do I. Large, and with rivulets of sweat coursing down it, running down his arms and collecting in massive pools in his palms.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:14, Reply)
his massive palms

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:14, Reply)
Massive, simian palms.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:15, Reply)
the rest of him is normal sized, he just has a massive face and hands
he's like a downs-anti-flid
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:17, Reply)
His forehead looks like a family-sized crusty bloomer.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:17, Reply)
Soaked in sweat.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:18, Reply)
It's just his palms that are massive.
His fingers are normal-sized.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:21, Reply)
office lol

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
And a jutting, Neanderthal jaw.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:17, Reply)
And weird rugby ears.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:18, Reply)
And his eyes are just slightly too far apart.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:19, Reply)
You can never tell which one is looking at you.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:20, Reply)
neither

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:20, Reply)
One eye on the chimney, the other on the fire.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
I heard his back looks like someone flicked "salad cream" onto a massive slab of spam

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
do you mean cauliflower ears?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Have you ever seen people from Rugby?
They have weird ears.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Last time I went to Rugby I got concussion, so I may not remember

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:22, Reply)
That was probably because of the ears.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:23, Reply)
that was the conclusion I came to, when i came to

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:28, Reply)
one single blackened craggy tooth. smells a bit like sweet white wine.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:21, Reply)
I reckon he has one leg markedly shorter than the other and has to wear a built-up shoe.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:24, Reply)
at school the bullies would chase him and laugh as he could only run in circles

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:26, Reply)
his whispy hair and high pitched voice meant he was often referred to as "the goblin king"
to his face, but he kinda liked being king.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:34, Reply)
genuine officelols at all these
I didn't realise my ancestors were from Norfolk
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:27, Reply)
How's your penis poncho today?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:39, Reply)
Is that another word for(e)skin?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Good morning all

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:32, Reply)
Morning sporters
I saw a fat man on telly last night who had lost 20-odd stone and now has loads of loose skin including a sort of penis poncho. It was revolting.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:33, Reply)
silly nakers
that shiny silver thing is a mirror, not a tv.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:36, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
I keep it next to my cuttlefish

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
hahaha!
Apey wanna cracker?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
So your "oak flooring" is in fact sandpaper?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:44, Reply)
clickkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:45, Reply)
It was Lokesy.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:37, Reply)
you should get his number for cavy,
she can pretend he's some sort of sexy skin beast, only defeated by her magical vagina.

edit: yeah, I wish I hadn't typed that.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:38, Reply)
he had several kilos of skin lopped off
still looked like shit though
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
dude
what the actual fuck?!

ha.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
I dunno swipey,
but it felt wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:48, Reply)
i clicked it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
oh man.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
Genuinely this is the wrongest thing I've ever read.
And remember I was here when Goatworrier was.

Still bent double laughing right now, though. Good work.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
I miss goatworrier.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
wronger than fisting a shit-soaked vole, he was.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)
Do you have to check the flaps are down before attempting a landing?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:52, Reply)
?
and also

?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Too obscure maybe
flaps of skin?

nah maybe not.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)
I more meant why did it relate specifically to my post?
or are you trying the leftfield "just throw the post in randomly" approach?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Yes.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:59, Reply)
textbook.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Why the shuddering fuck do people go on Embarrassing Bodies?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Yeah Lokesy - why?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:42, Reply)
free surgery i guess?
Check with Bobby, i heard he applied to have a breast reduction
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Why the shuddering fuck to people watch it?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
click for penis poncho

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I'm clicking like mad but still no penis poncho.
I think I must be doing it wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Try clicking your bell end instead

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Morning
Did Localboy's name get pulled out of the Abuse Hat today? Excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:42, Reply)
It would appear so
keeping me in officelols though
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:46, Reply)
hasn't knocked that serenity gash off the popular page though has it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:47, Reply)
I think it's well out of order and everyone should stop picking on the poor lad.
With that in mind I've started a new thread.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)

a

+ f + i
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 10:02, Reply)

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