Toast muthafuckers, I have toast.
What do you have?

Alt: So PD is thinking about buying property near the HS2 line is that a good idea?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-21248717

Alt:Alt: It’s Wednesday Is your week half full or half empty? What do you do to keep yourself sane until the weekend arrives?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:45, 119 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

sausage sandwich.
And not just any time old sausages, Gloucester old spot sausages. Winning.

Considering it's a 20 year project, it's difficult to tell what sort of effect it'll have, places change, might end up being a waste of time if someone invents a teleporter.

No day off now till next week Thursday, but it's all good, as today isn't really going to be work in any real capacity.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)

I bet she paid less than £1000 for the house in the first place.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)

well, as she was the old post mistress, there's every chance she didn't pay a penny.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)

The money-grabbing old sow.
I hope they put the train line straight through her.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)

The shits.
Today is not going well.

Alt: Yes.

AltAlt: Very full, work is heaving at the minute.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)

So many sailors and you with just one little mouth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:55, Reply)

+purty

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Toast with peanut butter and coffee
Alt:
It would seem not, no

AltAlt:
Very empty today - many woes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I have streaky smoked bacon and egg on white bread
Alt: It might work, it might not - who knows whether the line will happen. Several things are certain about HS2:-
1/ It WILL be delivered late.
2/ It WILL be massively over-budget.
3/ It WILL NOT EVER be as fast/efficient/regular as advertised.
4/ It WILL be hugely expensive to use.

Altalt. Half-full to positively overflowing because I've just had a 'phone call to inform me I'll be getting job offer number 2 through the post in the next couple of days. To keep myself sane, I'll be fricking about on the internet and playing guitar.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:57, Reply)

only if it's created and staffed by jobsworths like you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:59, Reply)

I heard there aren't going to be any trains after 1700

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)

lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Don't be stupid Gluey trains weren't even invented in 1700.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)

well they had to invent the top hat before they could get down to any of that steam shit

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)

I got NUFFINK
Empty cup where I should put tea. WHAT ROT.

Alt: Probably? I dunno, what's a property?

AltAlt: It's my Monday, but I'm trying to take tomorrow off cos I'm already fucked off with working.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Hi.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:02, Reply)

sup pigso

( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:03, Reply)

what do you do for a living Theo?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Tech support but with no phones or shit like that
Totes excito
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:05, Reply)

do they write you a letter and you pray for their device?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)

I plunge a dagger into the heart of an SSD and whisper the secret incantations which are the province of our divine group of IT workers

( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)

I just put an offer on a flaaat x!x!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:06, Reply)

link it bitch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:07, Reply)

It's this one you all didn't like
www.zoopla.co.uk/to-rent/details/27549581

The weird windows is because the ground floor is all garages for the other posh people nearby. the garden is all mine.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:09, Reply)

I hope you smash the shit out of that guitar when you move in
Pic 7 has the world's loneliest sofa
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)

That's the second bedroom. It is sad.
But they're getting rid of all the crap.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Good, looks like it was owned by some bird before
You want to get that place manned up, fast
I'm talking pictures of tits on every flat surface
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:14, Reply)

I did that at university once.
It's funny, you'd think you wouldn't get desensitised to boobs, but you do. It's a terrible feeling.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)

I hope that never happens to me
To me a fresh boob is like a thing of wonder, something rarely seen and only spoken about in hushed tones, in case it takes flight.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Imagine a freshly unfurled boob
and all you can manage is a jaded mental critique of shape, size, relative heft, nipple direction and size etc. and then find it unappealing.

I had to go into voluntary sexual exile to get over that. I've been there for so long I seem to have forgotten how to get out again.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)

you should have gone for tits on retractable surfaces
a load of norks on a roller blind can be furled and unfurled at the drop of a hat
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

He's stood in the front room in a top hat and tails
'WELCOME' he bellows, 'to the TITATORIUM'
Boobs unfurl from every surface
The window is now boobs
Boobs run down the walls
Puddles of boobs form at your feet
You look down
You're now a boob
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Best dream ever.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Kroneys log: Sad date 322,146,1,3
I once again use my long range scanners to check for boobs, no results. Every day for years the same result. Maybe today I will send a prope to try and make first contact. But no, I don't want them to use their telepathic powers to desensitise me again.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I love how you think you, of all people, can take the piss out of me for being single.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Is he not totally dating a stripper?
In your face kronley.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Yeah, but classy tits, like pierrelli calendars and stuff.
They were also trying to sell it which is why it's all ponced up.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:15, Reply)

Ah right
Well it looks lovely
Good luck and that
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Did you offer the asking price?
Not for me, but I'm sure you and the baroness will be very happy, look at you being all grown up
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)

I offered £725 for 12 months. If they say no then I'll take it for £750 for 6

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:14, Reply)

woah is this a thing you can do?
I just always thought your rent was whatever they said it was and tough shit complaining get out of my house you disgrace this place was a nice neighbourhood before you shower moved in
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Yeah, and letting agents are legally oblidged to take it to the owner.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:16, Reply)

I got fifty quid a month off my old place.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:17, Reply)

whaaaa
I wonder if our place will do the same, we've been in it three years. Loyalty discount?

nah I'll end up homeless
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

maybe they'll give it to you if you promise to use less of the facilities
like only eating takeaways or a rucksack instead of the toilet
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)

I'd happily drop rucksacks full of shit off the balcony
I'd pay more rent if they'd let me do that
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)

When I was looking at places the letting agents all used to say
"Rent is X per month but you can probably get it for X-15" or similar.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:36, Reply)

it looks nice.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:12, Reply)

FANKS

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Oh dear;
I have to sign a declaration saying details of any CCJs I've been involved in to the lettings agent. The only one I've ever been involved in is sueing a letting agent.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Lie.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Nah, fuck it it'll keep them on their toes.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)

I hope you'll be putting a shed up in the garden.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Nope, I do have a little half size garage though.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:24, Reply)

You're not a proper man until you have a shed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)

I Have a freaking awesome set of lab results.
I have all my favourite people coming to my birthday.
And best of all? Nutella. On a spoon.
*happiness*

alt: no idea

alt alt: week is awesome thus far. When I feel myself going stir crazy, I leave the house and go to the gym and work out with the music on as loud as it can go.

or I have a nanna nap. Sometimes it's hard to decide.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)

My breakfast?
As I went 'round a corner I involuntarily breathed in a whole fucking lungful of a freshly-baked massive dog shit that some woman was trying to ignore her beloved doing.

I fucking nearly threw up.

Alt: work ethic goes downhill from here to the weekend, though my work load appears to be going otherwise.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)

that sounds fucking rank.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Really? I'm at defcon bongle

( Kroney, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:13, Reply)

It was as grim as it sounds. I'm normally quite strong-stomached, but I might as well have been snogging it's fucking arse.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:18, Reply)

keep going.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:19, Reply)

you filthy pervert.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:20, Reply)

I nearly trod in it as well, as I bent over coughing. It was mustard yellow, firm but clearly slimy, and there were a couple of drips.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:21, Reply)

eurgh.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)

I nearly lost my dinner thinking about that.
clearly my imagination is over active.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Wait 'til I tell you what I'm wearing.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Nothing, just you're constantly extruding a thick shit soup out of every pore?

( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Theo Ban. I thought you were lovely.
this is not lovely. I do not like.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Ain't me wearing yesterday's dindins as a liquid suit

( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)

no, apparently not.
Also, did you buy the awesome kettle?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)

OH YEAH
I got the white one with the coloured polka dots
Flat mate came in yesterday, looked at it, grunted and went 'that's some gay kettle'
Mission successful
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)

haha, mission successful indeed! I would have high-fived you if I were there.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)

just let me choke down some metaclopramide first so I actually have control over my oesophageal sphincter.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

OK.
Are you ready?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)

yes, but I wish I weren't, just so I could delay more.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:44, Reply)

Right - you know how, when you've got a fever, you get those really surreal, colourful dreams?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Big meeting on Friday, which means work and more work until then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I had a bacon sandwich earlier
It was fairly good. I shall stick to sausage in future, I suspect.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:29, Reply)

Gay

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)

So we heard

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Yeah soss is better than bacon

( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)

*sausage fives*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)

gay

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)

is this like docking?

( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Sounds more like fencing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)

alright?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:33, Reply)

I really wanted a Wetherbreakfast
but it was packed with gyppos.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:34, Reply)

So you settled for a couple of cans of Gold Label from the local shop?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Super 10.
I am not a cunt.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:38, Reply)

not

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Lowest form of wit.
Which should really be expected from you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Of course.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Gold Label is fucking hideous

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)

S'alright with vodka in it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:41, Reply)

According to BK, so is Becks Blue.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)

Tea, Earl Grey, hot
Alt: My ma is going to lose her house in Northolt to HS2. She is more worried about who is going to feed the birds when she's gone, the dozy cow.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Losing a house in Northolt is probably a good thing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:40, Reply)

Its gone down hill since I left,

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:41, Reply)

I heard it was just taking off

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)

You move there then.
Too many wogs for me
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:47, Reply)

that just plane racist

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:54, Reply)

I'm going to the toilet now
Make of that what you will
( Theoban What of it, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)

BOG WANKER!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)

I've got a real hunger on today
But it's too early for lunch really...GOD, my life's hard.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)

I ate an apple but i think it made me more hungry : (
I dun a new thread to distract me
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)