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(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I went to Ikea yesterday,I got some drawer arrager things and some biscuits. Then I got lost and it took me 15 minutes to find the exit.
Tell me your Ikea stories!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:17, 138 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I bought a kitchen table from them but the table was shit and I wish I hadn't bought it!L
O
L
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:18,
Reply)
Their LOL range really is shit(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:18,
Reply)
I do like some of their glasses thoughAnd for cheap candles they're alright
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
I had a look at desks, some were fucking awful.Some were very nice. The prices seemed to have been chosen randomly.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:20, Reply)
this^I need a new computer desk
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
This is what I was thinking about.www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/60180036/
Nicer than most of the £200 ones they had.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Ugh never mind, I tried to ask her why that desk was so ugly'Anna said: There are many options for desk available on our catalogue. In order to narrow your search select one specific category from the ones listed on the window below me.'
Mouthy bitch
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:32,
Reply)
I've let her down.What about this one, it has space age drawers www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S39904154/
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:33, Reply)
It's got rectangle eyes on stalks that stare at youHideous
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
Fuck's sakewww.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/categories/departments/workspaces/20649/
They're all ugly, why are they so shit?
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:36,
Reply)
Here look this is probably the best of themwww.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00214157/
But even then it's got a raging stiffy for the 60s
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:38,
Reply)
*looks at record collection*Oh.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
It's all about the mad men.To be honest I might just get a table, www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S69903718/
Don't need anything else, and you can mix and match legs and tops.
It'll be covered in moutain dew, spunk and doritoes within a week anyway.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)
As long as it has space for both your 24" monitorsand your sound system
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:44,
Reply)
MEESTER CHOMPEE I WANNA SEX NOWWoman if you even step over the threshold into my Manitorium I will end you
BUT MEESTER CHOMPEE I WANT MAKE BANG BANG
Do not test me woman I am almost gold league here.
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
also I dunno why in my mind your bird has a bad thai accentI know she's not from forrin
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:50,
Reply)
I have a ikea table like thatI can confirm it is a table and you can put stuff on it
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
I ended up buying one from Argos of all placesARGOS. I HAD TO QUEUE UP WITH POOR PEOPLE.
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
Whenever I have to go to ArgosI always use the self service thing so I don't have to mix with the rabble. It makes me feel slightly less grubby.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:33,
Reply)
I did that when I bought a gay kettle the other dayThey called my number up so I had to go to the desk, and then they didn't have my stuff so they acted like I didn't understand the system
It was the worst time of my life
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:34,
Reply)
Old Street Argos in London Engerlandis the most depressing place on the entire earth.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
If there's a hell it's an Argos where you have to sit next to some awful pleb as he hums to himself and stinks of stale spunkAnd when you go up to get your item it's too heavy to carry and then they make you fill out their customer satisfaction survey.
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:37,
Reply)
It's the ones who smell of fresh spunk that worry me the most.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:40,
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Especially when you sit on a wet patch And they grin and wink
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
I was in Argos years agoand some guy bought a set of dumb bells and bars and what have you. Couple of guys brought the stuff to the collection point and asked him where he was parked. "Um...I came here on the bus. Oh crap, how am I getting this home?"
I Lol'd.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
It is annoyingI feel very uncomfortable in that situation. I all of a sudden forget how to stand still and my face starts moving of its own accord.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39,
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'sir please take a seat we'll call your number'BUT YOU JUST DID AND I JUST WAS OH FUCK IT I DON'T WANT A KETTLE ANYMORE I WISH I WAS DEAD
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
I've seen the number go from 999 to 001 beforeI'll never see the likes of those days again
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:42,
Reply)
I gave some Ikea drawers, two CD racks and two bookcases away yesterdayTRUFAX
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:18,
Reply)
Oh man, I could do with some bookcases, that were delivered free to milton keynes.(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:19, Reply)
I have never been thereTheir particular brand of furniture does not appeal to me. Hope this helps.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
Their "upper" end of furniture is actually quite niceThe standard stuff really is grim though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
Saying that, I'm after a new worktop for the kitchenand their real wood worktops are WAY cheaper than B&Q's chipboard crap.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:23,
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I refuse to go. Mrs B wants to go this weekend. We have negotiated that she will go while I watch the rugby, as I've told her the store will be quieter while the game is on. Result.
In other news, had a call from the charity that interviewed me this morning, they've asked for references and a CRB check, so it's looking good.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:20,
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Nah that will be fine. Had them done before, no problems. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:22,
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always get away with it eh?You should work for Stuart Hall's legal team
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:24,
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Is this for a new job or actually just charitable work?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:21,
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He did mean to look up that girls skirt, she just stood too close to him(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:26,
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No, in a voluntary capacity. Been a trustee before of another charity. I enjoy it. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:23,
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This is a smallish charity; £5m turnover. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
Soon to be £4m once you get the hang of the accounts system, RIGHT????(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
That's right. Two big one-eroonies. You heard me right.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:28,
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Shame their turnover isn't over a mil really(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:29,
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Listen what those guys achieve with the 750k they bring in is nothing short of incredibleWell done them I say!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:37,
Reply)
You'd think even a small charity could manage to bring in mroe than Five hundred thousand a year wouldn't you?(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39, Reply)
It seems not.Still, £250k, Al - it's not nothing.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
Fucking hell. A 95% drop in revenue and I haven't even been to one board meeting yet. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:45,
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They need to keep most of that aside to cover my 'expenses'. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39,
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Not worth it. Embezzle a million. Get caught. Serve 8 years. Equates to £125k a year.
Not worth getting out of bed for.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
That is a pitiful amount of money to earn every yearI don't know how one could live on so little
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:32,
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i mean what do these people eat? Roadkill!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:35,
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Oh god, your not one of those povvos that earns less than £125k a year are you?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39,
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There's a good graph thingy for youb3tan earnings
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
A charity set up to help the slightly short of stature?Fuck's sake every cunts got their face in the charity trough these days.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Vulnerably housed, mentally ill and ex offenders. So quite of you lot qualify to be in the client group.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
I WAS MAKING A JOKE BY DELIBERATELY MISINTERPRETING 'SMALLISH' AS MEANING SHORT-ARSES!!!1Oh FFS.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
I know it was an attempt at a joke. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
Just wonderedWell done you
*returns to murdering kittens*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
I have a large Ikea sofa bed, it was well priced and is comfortable!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
I once drove DiT to the IKEA in WembleyWe bought him some furniture and then I had an ice cream and drove him home.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:21, Reply)
Their ice creams are the best thing in thereSee also: hotdogs
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
did you insist of a gob job on the North Circular as payment?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
I'm sorry there are words but they are not formed into anything that makes sense.(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I'm with Al, here. Not a fucking clue, Nakers. Sozz-o.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
You're right.I lied about being sorry in the hope that it would make me appear vulnerable, and then they'd gaz me blurry photos of their groins.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39,
Reply)
We should totally go when you're over here!It would be like visiting Sweden without leaving the UK!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I don't like IkeaThey built an enormous one in the centre of Coventry, which while hideous, does mean that I no longer have to drive to Wednesbury and be dragged complaining around the store if my missus wants to go there.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:23,
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It overshadows a C14th church that survived the Blitz.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:26,
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Their stuff is OK but a lot of the furniture is overpricedconsidering it's chipboard/mdf.
Do not on any account go near the place on a bank holiday, unless you are some kind of shopping masochist.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
How in the name of fuck can you get lost in a place with arrows on the cunting floor?Are you retarded?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:43, Reply)
hahahahaha!Filthy Hobbitses
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
Bilbo Battered!www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGF5ROpjRAU
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
My local pub. The north London tavern. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:51,
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It looks UNDER the tables?Nice pub
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:53,
Reply)
No but my boss keeps dancing and dancing and dancing(
Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:58,
Reply)
Are Google maps public transport directions designed only for the very fat.It's saying I should get a bus for a journey that takes at most 6 mins walking.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:52, Reply)
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