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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What an awful thread.
FASCINATING FACTS.

Tell the class something fascinating - perhaps something about yourself which people might be surprised to know.

I'll start: I own a David Bowie single EDIT I really do own one
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:26, 172 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Battered makes the best threads!

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
I am actually 6'5''.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)
I got kicked out

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
:o((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I really hope she threw the oven glove out after you.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
She'd have had to buy a new one if she had done that

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Go on then, tell the board what you did and we'll all pretend to be on your side xoxox

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
I fucked her mum and sister in a threeway

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
For great justice?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
They were dealing drugs

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
As long as the police aren't involved.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
They have no interest in pursuing such things.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
That is well known.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Did you get that thing when you realised that you don't have enough hands and you didn't want any of the tits to get self esteem issues?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:01, Reply)
Shit. Sorry to hear that.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Sorry, mate.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
I thought it was going better?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
It was. I'm sure we will sort it out and my mothers spare room is very comfortable
and I'm going over to spend time with the spawn everyday.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
ah man, for srs I hope you work it out

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Do you want relationship advice from us?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
I'd rather get relationship advice from mumsnet than from you sorry bunch of autisms

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
please delete this post and ask for serious advice.
I can't wait to see the answers.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:37, Reply)
Thanks mister
First laugh all day!
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
quit your moaning and hook a brother up, yo

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
I've been kicked out for over a week quins and I haven't moaned once
I just thought it might surprise people to know
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
I'll be honest, I was sad for you when I read your post
But then I was happy cos I thought you could hook me up with your ex, don't keep all the cray-cray to yourself
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Sure thang, brutha

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:37, Reply)
Well, if you're providing that kind of service
can I have a hookup with your sister's husband's cousin?
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
My sisters husbands cousins are Jocks

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
I thought your sister's husband's cousin was a specific jock?
One that I would quite gladly break.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Ah yes!
You are thinking of my sisters, husbands, fathers, cousin
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
When can I expect him?
I'll make sure mr b3th is out.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
Saturday afternoon
wear green wellys and nothing else
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
Queen Marlena is a bitch

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Marlena
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
He-Man and She-Ra's mum was not a bitch!

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Fucking well out of order mate.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
THEY WERE RELATED?!?!
Oh shit, I did some things with my action figures that would have even made Emvee sick :(
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:37, Reply)
Yup, HeMan was fucking Glimmer

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
Well, that's just mean.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
did you poo on the couch?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
I'm still paying for those SOFAS
fucking couch, in my lounge don't you know
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Come to Bristol for drinks and we can mock you/sympathise in person.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Might be in bristol in April for a training course
PRINCE2, exciting huh
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:53, Reply)
PRINCE2 is so. fucking. dull.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Don't tell me that,
I have a vision of dancing ladies and dwarfs with plates of MASSIVE DRUGS
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
so are you.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:58, Reply)
It's no Agile.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:58, Reply)
Never used that.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
Winders' father was a roan Arab stallion. He got his hair from him.
He's only a pig on his mother's side.

Thinking about that has given me the weirdest erection.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
is it all curly and multicoloured>

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
I don't actually fancy old men.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:37, Reply)
I know, you fancy me, but you can't have me
and that just tears you up inside.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
It's true : (
When I'm a merry widow, this place won't be safe.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Www.amazingfacts.org
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
I love it when christians present stories from the bible as facts.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
Unlike the Jews and Muslims
And all the other religeons.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
Atheism is a religion

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
I like that Noel Edmonds one.
Where you ask for things and get them. It's like being a spoiled kid, and god is a weekend father.

No offence, PJ.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Swap shop is a religion?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Cosmic ordering.
It's not much of a religion... write a list, wait.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosmic_ordering
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:13, Reply)
One without a god though.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
I can't imagine a jew or a muslim presenting the bible as fact.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:13, Reply)
So Israel is not the "promised land" then?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:15, Reply)
Well that's a relief.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:29, Reply)
The palastinians can have it back.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:31, Reply)
More of a guideline.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)
"Most people in the world are being deceived by an evil genius bent on destroying their lives - a brilliant mastermind called the devil, or Satan."

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
cowfoot has a horrible little shrivelled winky

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
I heard it's like a mouldy mushroom.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Like a dead shrew hanging between his legs.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
fancy seeing you here

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:28, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
I had my head cut off and the police did nothing.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
You're coping remarkably well under the circumstances.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Luckily it grew back.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
i saw a weird animation on 4 last night where a guy grew his head back

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
Hello Quinteliscious

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
Most men would manage without their head anyway
Considering they never get a chance to speak and their brains are in their cocks amiriteladies???

*looks around for sisterly support*
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
Good luck with that.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
I was once the King of Albania
but I was ousted from power after a blood-less coup.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
I am a likeable and witty guy in real life.
No one will believe this :'(
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
I'm on my third shit of the day.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
this is internet gold

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
That's nothing.
We're on our fifth shit thread of the day.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
i hate Pink

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
you mean the colour or P!nk?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
the singer

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
But she loves you.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
she hates my ears

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:10, Reply)
How do you get a party started???

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
lmfao

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:28, Reply)
*shuffles*

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Pink the colour?
Or Pink the singer?
I like both.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
the singer
I also don't like Kelly Clarkson
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:10, Reply)
She isn't as annoying as her dad, Jeremy.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:19, Reply)
other colours are available.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
P!nk gives me the raging horn.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Eww she looks like she has a smelly fanny. Also, shit tits.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Also, she looks like Eddie Izzard when he was still a tranny

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:31, Reply)
yeah

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Other than that, 'PHWOOAAARRRRRRR'

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
i don't find her terribly attractive

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:31, Reply)
she fuckin butch

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:35, Reply)
I still have pretty much the same hair cut
that I have had since I was at school, I am waiting for it to become fashionable
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:12, Reply)
Bonzo earlier today
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maahs77HGe1qcpzry.jpg
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:44, Reply)
it's funny cos in the last episode of the bitter sweet Ricky Gervais hit comedy "Derek"
that's exactly what Karl Pilkington's character said about his hair...
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
I'm struggling to stay awake
And I have a meeting soon.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
You mean the fast-paced banter on here isn't keeping you lively?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)
I know, shocking
I've got a cup of fennel seed tea, and I'm RARING to go!
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:28, Reply)
Was it brewed with any tea leaves?
No, then it's a fennel infusion. xxx
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
It was a tea bag full of seeds really
A friend gave it to me. It was nice actually.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
You know what I just found out?
This job's holiday year runs from January to January, not April to April. I think I lost 7 or 8 days of holiday on the 31st December. Fuck me I'm an idiot who should have read his fucking contract.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
JOEYYYYYYY

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
WTN

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Read it now and see how much you could carry over.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
usually five days for a month, so they will have just expired probably

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
DEEAAAACON

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
This reminds me I have 9 days left to take before the end of March

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
How could they be so cruel
as to run the holiday year the same as the calendar year. This crazy fools
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
And then inform him of this in writing, which they then asked him to read and sign.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Don't rub it in
Oh wait, forgot where I was for a moment.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
i can see a big yellow crane with a tiny man at the top from my window
what can you see from your window?
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Nothing, I've got my back to it.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
turn around an play the game

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Something about Bonnie Tyler

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
It's just, reading the responses below, it doesn't seem that good a game.
But, if it makes you happy, there's a couple of trees and shrubs, then a fence, then a road.
Do you want me to go on and describe what is on the other side of the road?
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
yes.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Well, there is a car park with more trees and some cars.
I could link you to a street view if you really wanted?
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
Newcastle Central Motorway, Northumbria Uni and a tramp

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
delightful

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
If I peer out I can also see a lapdancing club

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Wave to Mrs Chompy for us

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
I gave her a fiver

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
She'd just give that to the bar staff.
The assumptions about how much she earns on here are all way off.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Really? i knew a stripper taking home fucking shit loads

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Yes, that she does. She doesn't get pounds in a pint jar or make £20 a dance.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
bad times, £20 a dance is where it's at

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Trees

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
You have control of the board

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
wot kind?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Snowy kind

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Belgian?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
*something about buns*

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Slough.
Thanks for cheering me up.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
it's your own fault for living with Kroney

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
He keeps padlocking the door.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Hadn't realised Kroney lives near a school.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Fields, more fields, the Pentlands, the Cairgorms and the Scottish Malt Whisky Research Institute.
and my car
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
and the M8

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
nope, I can't.
can't see any roads apart from the science park boundary road.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
+ and spunk-covered rabbits.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
why?

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
SEXAY is why

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Badge likes to wank over the rabbits in the field below his office.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
I'm very scared that you remember me saying that

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
What do they research?
More ways of convincing people to spend ever more money on bottles of battery acid?
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)
Mostly how to spot forged whisky, I think.
I do collaborate with them on a couple of things, but that's mostly because they speak for the industry "as a whole" so that's easier than chasing individual distilleries.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
NO SCOTTISH MALT WHISKEY RESEARCH INSTITUTE CHAT

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
I'm on the 5th floor
I can see another office building opposite. The windows are tinted so I can't even see a secretary being bent over the copier and being given a good seeing-to.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
So

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:09, Reply)
ray

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
mee

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
larr

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Can't even get the right order for that

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
I've never seen the film, you know why?
because I'm not a raging homosexual
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
The Sol-fa scale exists outside of The Sound of Music, you know.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
not in my mind it doesn't

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
That is because you are a raging homosexual.

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Raging because he can't figure out which socket he should use

(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
I have started a new thread.
You're welcome.
(, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 14:20, Reply)

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