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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So are you all off using the newly fixed search to do vanity searches?
What have you found?
What do you think is best left forgotten?

Alt: Has anyone here got anything good happening in their lives, or is it all custody battles and living in your car?
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:15, 150 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I've just moved into a place, and nearly have everything sorted.
Just need TV and a desk.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
I went out to buy a telly earlier
I didn't get one though.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Cool story bro.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:19, Reply)
No wonder this place is rocking, eh.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:20, Reply)
I, for one, can't wait for the follow up to this exciting episode in the life of Jeff.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
I bet he came home with either a jacket or a shirt.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:23, Reply)
Neither.
I went for a fry-up instead.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Poor Mrs Fromeastenders, always watching the door, hoping...
:(
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
She'll never find out that her little boy is now a mysterious bump in a motorway flyover near Stunned's gaff.
She should have stayed with Wolf.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Robbing little get.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
What sort are you looking for and where did you look?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:26, Reply)
There was a 22" LG in the clearance section of Richer Sounds
For £99

The had it in stock, but without a power supply and a remote it would have been useless. So I didn't bother.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Oh, well that's pretty useless.
I was looking at a TV from Richer sounds, really nice, cheap but they only do interest free credit at a few stores, and I can get it for £10 more online but pay it off over three months. So we're going to do that.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:30, Reply)
If they'd have advertised it as such, I wouldn't have bothered going out.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:32, Reply)
I was in Richer on Sunday, looking at an amp and CD player for the master bedroom.
My other ones are hooked up to my decks in the back bedroom.

FSB.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Frigid Story Bro?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Fascinating story bro.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
That was the last thread.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Oh god, I didn't know that and its payday this week.
I really really want a 3D telly.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Really? I can't be arsed with 3D

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)
You got bad eyes though init?
The thing is, with a 3D telly, you're still getting a fantastic 2D telly, only you can do 3D. With a 2D telly, 3D is not an option.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:04, Reply)
I hope it doesn't result in acrimony.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:20, Reply)
Apparently my most popular ever post
was one talking about how my dad's mate had to go looking for a human head on the underground.

Alt: I've got plenty good about to happen. Money meaning I'll be free to buy a place and a new car, plus a girl. I won't buy the girl. At least not directly. You know, presents and stuff. The socially acceptable prostitution.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
I hate you

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Morning.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:20, Reply)
It's the middle of the night for b3ta.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Bonjour

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:23, Reply)
You know what I fucking hate?
People that suck on their fingers when eating.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Whose fingers would you prefer them to suck on?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
That must make mastication kinda difficult

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:23, Reply)
Is this because
As a frenchman you have yet to be introduced to the wonders of soap and therefore worry about the level of scat germification?
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
I'm not doing vanity searches, sorry.
I imagine Rory is frantically searching on behalf of all of us.

Alt: Nothing good. It's a relentless circle of misery and failure. Thanks for asking.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)

b3ta.com/search/answers?q=b3th
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
I was right in there looking at my most popular posts.
I used to be funnier :'(
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Can anyone back up this claim?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Jeff awarded me POTW once.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Yeah, but Jeff's a bender.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
And not exactly known for his great jokes.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
If only we had a Mod around here.
I'd report you for being a terrible bully.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Good job for us there's no mods then...

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
No real mods
Thats what OT get, worlds shittest mod.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
When did Swipe become a MOD?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
I have found this thread to be a huge success.
Perhaps it would be better left forgotten.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
B3th gazzed me and offered to nosh me off
That was quite interesting
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Have you covered your cock with lard or something?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Lard and upper lip wax

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
mmmmmmm

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
I searched my name and theres loads of jokes about my dad hanging himself
Where did people get the idea that he hung himself?
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Hanged not hung
come on speaka de lingo
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
It was all from montys bullying.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
It was shit bullying, it didn't make sense

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
This may be true, but this is now your new internet truth.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)
What a bunch of cunts on this site, eh?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
Bonzo said he was bloody well hung
and it mushroomed from there.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Flacidnating story

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Straight out of the Old Testicle.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
I don't think I've cum across that one

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)
Cock and ball story if ever I heard one

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)
Apologies for length, etc.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Sorry Rev. members only

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)
*helicopters*

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Get a grip of your self man

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:17, Reply)
But it's hard!

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:19, Reply)
I did that "best" search
most of mine also seem to be from /links, I suspect they just randomly click everything.

Alt: Well, I have asked out the woman from the speed dating. OMG DATE. Nah, I'm cool. I may need some tranquillizers for the actual thing, though.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
Congratulations
Just assume that the whole thing will be a complete disaster and you'll be fine.

In such circumstances I'm a firm believer in the motto "he who expects nothing will not be disappointed."
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Was it the Italian one?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
with the dog and white stick
(Gosh I am on fine witty form today)
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
Yep
looks alright in her carefully lit photograph taken from above, and from memory in a dark wine bar once I'd had a couple, so I'm hoping for the best.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Fingers crossed

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:08, Reply)
I don't do vanity searches or popular page stuff
Everything I say is brilient in every single way so there is no point.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
What have you been searching for then?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Lionel Ritchie'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
Hello

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
Hahahahahaha.
I kill you.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Past glories in flame wars between Chompy and Swipe

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:34, Reply)
Who is winning so far?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Everyone except chompy and swipe

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
Traitor

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:41, Reply)
If it helps, you're winning on account of Swipe organising all these offline-b4shes and leaving me out.
... while you let me flirt relentlessly with your misses on facebook.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:53, Reply)
I don't really count that as flirting.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:56, Reply)
I blame that on western culture.
It'd be a marriage proposal if you go east a thousand miles or soo.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:58, Reply)
Actually I think we're the biggest losers out of all that.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Je vais avoir une journée très étrange
c'est comme la 4ème fois que j'ai convenu avec vous. Je blâme cette lithium douteux turque
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
I'm going to try to have this week off the booze.
I was at work at 7:15 this morning and by the time I get out of here I shall be fucking parched so this is a doomed plan from the start.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
It sounds rubbish.
Count me out.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
I've just found a can of beer in my bag.
Ah well it was a nice idea
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Sounds a bit... alkie

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:51, Reply)
feels a little like that as well

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:55, Reply)
Depends. ..is the beer over 6%?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Nah it's Grolsch. Kids' beer.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Pity it's a can
If it was bottled you'd have a lovely decoration for your boot.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:09, Reply)
Oh, the "accidentally found a beer in my bag" excuse

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:51, Reply)
textbook Scarping

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:55, Reply)
Wouldn't that be
"I accidentally found my cock almost fits in my arse " ?
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:59, Reply)
drinky hand gesture

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
I woke up on Sunday morning at 3am to hear Stunned pissing in the corner of our hotel room. fast asleep.
next thing I know it's 8am, I'm fully clothed and cradling a bottle of cognac. You 'do the math' as they say.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:07, Reply)
That man is a liability.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:09, Reply)
I'd be livid.
Remind me never to share a room with him.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:12, Reply)
the snoring was worse

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:15, Reply)
What about the spooning?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:18, Reply)
that was fine

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:23, Reply)

week afternoon
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
I might have some wine this evening
otherwise by the time the date rolls around I'll be in the early stages of alcohol withdrawal and that might not make a terribly good impression.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Nah

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
Cornwall bash?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)
In your mums place?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)
+ special

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:55, Reply)
Well we all know the way there at least.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:59, Reply)
Just yodel and listen for the echo?

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
She probably wouldn't mind
A bunch of foreign types were lost in our home town and asked my mum where the campsite was. She explained that they're wasn't one within walking distance and let the lot of them set up their tents in her back garden. She's ace my mum
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 14:59, Reply)
Had they all mysteriously vanished the next morning
to replaced by what appear to be very large, rectangular molehills? Because if so then I'm afraid I have some troubling news for you.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
What I'm insinuating here
is that your dad may not have gassed himself.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:03, Reply)
I'm going to listen to green day and Post "I miss you dad" posts on facebook

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Oh man, it'll be AA all over again.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:10, Reply)
I've popped a tent in your mum's back garden before, while putting on a foreign accent, too.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
She's doesn't like circumcised cock

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:05, Reply)
Best. Comeback. Ever.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:08, Reply)

Come Pull
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:14, Reply)
There was a young lady from Neath,
who circumsied men with her teeth.
She didn't do it for money,
nor 'cause it was funny
but to get at the cheese underneath.

Il y avait une jeune femme de Neath,
qui circumsied hommes avec ses dents.
Elle ne le fais pas pour l'argent,
ni parce que c'était drôle
mais pour obtenir le fromage en dessous.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:10, Reply)
There was a young slag from Penzanze.
Who boarded a bus in a trance
24 fucked her
Plus the conductor
And the driver came twice in his pants
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:20, Reply)
There was a young vampire named Mabel
with periods remarkably stable
one night at full moon
she sat with a spoon
and drunk herself under the table.

Il y avait un jeune vampire nommé Mabel
avec des périodes remarquablement stables
une nuit de pleine lune
elle s'est assise avec une cuillère
et se boit sous la table.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:22, Reply)
There once was a whore on the dock
From dusk until dawn she sucked cock
'Til one day it's said
She gave so much head
She exploded and whitewashed the block
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
but enough about your mother....
Mais assez parlé de ta mère ....
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:26, Reply)
There was a young man from Dundee
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked if it hurt
He replied "Not at all
It can do it again if it likes"

I don't think I've quite got the hang of this.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:24, Reply)

There was a young fellow named Paul,
who couldn’t rely on his ring-piece at all,
when he sat on the loo,
it went slightly askew,
and splattered some poo on the wall.

hi Gonz!
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:26, Reply)
SidearseLOLZ

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:29, Reply)
My sixth ever post on b3ta is the start of my trolling career.
b3ta.com/talk/2445893#post2445918
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:14, Reply)
that's good.
so good I wanted to join in the argument and it's 6 years old.

c'est une bonne chose.
si bon que je voulais joindre à la discussion et à ses 6 ans.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:19, Reply)
Hang on. .
you want to discuss 6 year olds?

Damn online translators.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:28, Reply)
Jésus!
ils ne vous appelle un cancre putain de rien.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:29, Reply)
pricks

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:28, Reply)
NAKERS NAKERS GIVE ME AN ANSWER, DO
WITH YOUR SIDEARSE, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO POO?
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:30, Reply)
s'alright
i have the day off, do you?

I have tomorrow off as well, do you?
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:31, Reply)
I also have a contractual allotment of holiday
that I can take whenever reasonable.
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:35, Reply)
don't let battered know you have an allotment or it'll be full of prostitute parts in no time

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:38, Reply)
I'm going for a curry on Friday followed by the pictures
and then a wine tasting on Saturday.

Is it too early for weekend chat?
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)
NEVER!

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Needs a new thread for that though.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:52, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1874520
(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:32, Reply)
pricks

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:28, Reply)
pricks

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:29, Reply)
pricks

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:29, Reply)
spam

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:30, Reply)
purse

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:31, Reply)
forum

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:36, Reply)
squelch

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:39, Reply)
aardvark

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Nice one Nakers, you killed the board.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Fuck you, it's been dead all day

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:40, Reply)
Whatever, Nakers. You RUINER.

(, Mon 25 Feb 2013, 15:41, Reply)

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