Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So lonely.When were you last alone?
EDIT: I came to Poland for a two hour meeting. That meeting has just lasted less than one hour. What a waste of time.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:49,
157 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
When a bank gave me to someone on a temporary basis at 8% APR.(
Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:52,
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Seriously? Fucking hell, I'd have loaned you some cash at only 2000%.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:56,
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I can introduce you to my friendJESUS, you will never be alone again
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:54, Reply)
I'm not trappedI'm just poised
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:59,
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Bring the lube and "The Intruder"(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:03,
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It's the best Hip-Hoperah of all time!!!!en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_in_the_Closet
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I always thought it was preparationfor an insanity plea should his noncing case go to trial
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:03, Reply)
have you ever had freekah?i have freekah salad for lunch, as i know how much you care about that sort of thing
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:56,
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Never had it. It's a bit like cous cous isn't it?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:56,
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it is thati am obsessed with "vital ingredient", everything in there is fucking delicious. they've got about 20 over the city, so there will be one near you somewhere.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:59,
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Do they wear good hats in there?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:00,
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sorryi couldn't hear that over the sound of ice cracking
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:00,
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*sets up**smashes out of park*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:06,
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Far too healthy for more my liking.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:03,
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I wanna get freekah with you!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 13:59,
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I'm an only child so I'm used to being aloneIt doesn't bother me in the slightest
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:17,
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Did it bother you being an only child when you were growing up?I'm not sure I want any more kids.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:17,
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I didn't know any differentOur two seem to play nicely together so I'm happy we had the 2nd
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:18,
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I think pretty much all only children turn out to be serial killers (
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:27,
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Me too!I loved it tbh.
Always had the latest console/trainers etc. Had a phone in my room.
Any time I did something wrong I had the retort of "well you should of had more kids"
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:16,
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When I was Biddy Baxter's boy toy. So ronery. You're in a room. Alone.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Biddy Biddy Baxter we love you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:27,
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I seem to recall a drunken night out where the phrase of choice was:BIDDY BIDDY BIDDY - FUCKING CUNT
Beer has a lot to answer for
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:32,
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When I continued trying to make my point in the previous thread, long after Kroney had left the conversation.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:36,
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I'm being 2.0'd so I couldn't see that thread.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:37,
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It is a nice diversion to occasionally have a little debate before going back to simply calling one another 'pricks'You prick.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:40,
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why is gonz ignoring you? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:41,
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I think it's because I called him a pervert.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:42,
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I saw that, that was out of order to be honest battered. Especially coming from you.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:45,
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I can't link to the posts (from ages ago) as he deleted them.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:46,
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He made some particularly offensive comments about what he'd like to do to someone who posts here.She got very upset.
Oh and before I forget; very different to thing that I wrote about Poppet.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:49,
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He accidentally offended someone and then deleted the post.Where as you accidentally offended someone and then edited the post?
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:55, Reply)
I really can't think what he's talking about.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:21,
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Ok, you tempted me outta it....You got any specifics? Or anyone else who can remember?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:57,
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2.0is the white flag of the defeated and feeble of brain
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:47,
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it really was a harsh attack, But yeah.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:48,
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There have been worse attacks on here.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:49,
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Or, you know, you can stop someone from easily being able to read your posts.Same diff really.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:59,
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Soz.I don't think we're going to agree on that one, since you come from the bearded hemp-weaving crowd and I from the jack-booted autocratic crowd
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:00,
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what's wrong with phone calls? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:38,
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I wish someone would invent a telephone with mechanical arms to translate gesticulation across continents(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:40,
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I'll get on it right away, gluey.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:40,
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It'll never happen
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:40,
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You're right - I'm already stumped.Soz gluey.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:42,
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the problem really lies in the premise, The filthy foreigners refuse to understand no matter how loud you talk or wildly wave your arms. Ignorant forrins.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:44,
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An advertising agency were coming in to present to six of us. skype or a video conference wouldn't have worked.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:41,
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oh boy oh boy oh boy I might finally get one of those towers that the penguins slowly climb up then when they get to the top they slide back down the ramp to the bottom and start climbing again(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:41,
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I know a woman with an apron gunt thing. I might get her one for her birthday.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:49,
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"The problem is that my belly is far bigger than my hips and underwear rolls down to become an uncomfortable nuisance below my buns. I am forced to wear suspenders with my pants though I used to wear belts. Then I have to wear my shirt-tails out over the suspenders because I can't wear a belt at my armpits and I need to get out of my clothes in a hurry to be able top use a public restroom."
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:51, Reply)
i have created a monsterand its name is zog
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:51,
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haha, one comment says "I am reeking havoc on the toilet seat"best spelling mistake EVER
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:52, Reply)
here, frank kindly shared this from his recommended wanking list last nightlessismorph.blogspot.co.uk/2009/03/morbid-obesity-and-toilet-hygiene.html
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:55,
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orlessismorph.blogspot.co.uk/2009/03/morbid-obesity-and-toilet-hygiene.html
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:59, Reply)
yeah yeah fuck you and your clever witchcraft :((
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:01,
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you'd like to think it was deliberatebut you know that anyone who shits themselves and can't wipe it up isn't capable of that
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:53,
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what really gets me is that fucking hamplanet woman dispensing advice on how to cope with waddling round stinking of caked-on faecal matter all daywhen the real solution is to lose some fucking weight
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:55, Reply)
they should publish that shit on every cake counter in the country. prevention is better than cure.(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:56,
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didn't she say she was trying to raise awareness that people don't enjoy being that fat. The comment that was "me and my husband are both too fat to clean our area, it's tragic" read like "we're both horrific slobs that need to be put down"
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:58,
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one of her goals was to be able to clip her own toenailswhen this is your life's ambition, you are wasting that life.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:59,
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jesus. Horrible horrible fat horrible slobs.
If there is a charity dedicated to helping these people I reckon we should fire bomb it.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:01,
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one of them even has the fucking balls to complain that his medical insurance doesn't cover him(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:04, Reply)
I've posted that on three mesageboards so farand every one has just ground to a halt with expressions of disgust and contempt for her and all her lardbucket friends
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:01, Reply)
what, a yellow ample brush?why would they not make the sponge bit black or brown? surely yellow or something pale isn't the way to go?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:51,
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there are things on that website you could never have dreamed ofand you were happier then
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:52,
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hahahahahawww.amplestuff.com/legliftingaids.aspx
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:55,
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Other sites also have some great stuffwww.mountainside-medical.com/products/Wings-XXL-Bariatric-Adult-Brief%2C-32-bx.html
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:59,
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A 95 INCH WAIST?that's nearly 8 fucking feet!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:01,
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Imagine the size of the fanny on a 95 inch waste. Biddy Baxter, come back. All is forgiven!
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:03, Reply)
hahaha haha www.amplestuff.com/bigbib.aspx
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 14:59,
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you should order some for the pub....Are you sick and tired of having to launder stains on your shirt, blouse, or other clothing, due to mealtime spills? The trouble is, we ample-sized people present a bigger target for such spills — they can't help landing on us! The traditional napkin on your lap may work for average-size people, but for us, it offers little protection.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:00,
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Here's a product for Stunnedwww.mountainside-medical.com/products/All%252dThrough%252dThe%252dNight-Disposable-Adult-Diapers.html
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:01,
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And another onewww.mountainside-medical.com/products/Conveen-Self-Sealing-Male-External-Catheters-35%7B47%7Dbox.html
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:04,
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Good one, chaps. If only the solution to yor physical deformities could be purchased at a "medical outfitters".
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Here's some stuff for Swipewww.mountainside-medical.com/categories/Liposuction-Supplies/
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:07,
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they can't even eat properly and they're fat. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:02,
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yeah you'd think it's the one thing they would be good atmaking sure the food all gets in their gaping gobs
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:04,
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So every year work has a black tie affair. I've been the last two years and am not going this yearoffice girl is, though. Kind of missed an opportunity there, I reckon. So instead, I shall be lonely on whatever that is. 9th, I think. I'm a little annoyed to be missing it.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:02,
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Well, I could. Probably will. It's not quite the same though, is it.(
Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:05,
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Why aren’t you going?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:04,
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???????Has Monty stolen Kroneys log in?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:06,
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No. Kroney's Indian call centre wage doesn't extend to hiring other peoples' clothes. (, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Bet he can use a proper bow tie. Unlike some people.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:07,
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I beg your pardon?I am not a student. I own my dinner jacket, thank you.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:07,
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ANSWER THE QUESTION DAMMIT(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:08,
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I ANSWERED BATTERED WHEN HE ASKED THE SAME DAMNED THING, MAN(
Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:09,
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I ASKED FIRST :((
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:10,
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Why have you decided not to go & and can you still arrange to go?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:05,
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It's not something you decide. It's an awards thing. It's all a little contrived, but it's an excuse to go out all snazzied up. The reason I'm not going is down to the way it works. The company votes, proportionate voting, we've got more people in our team this year due to another manager throwing a hissy fit because everybody hates her department so she never gets to go, she tries to ride on our coat tails and stops all of us going.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:07,
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Hahahahaha. Too shit to be invited!! Which is an irony, cos you love shit.
(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:09, Reply)
The amount of votes your department gets is divided by the amount of people in itbecause some of our departments are over a hundred people and some have two people in it. Her latching onto us, because we're well successful and everybody loves my colleagues, increased the amount of people. We still got loads of votes, but nobody voted for her lot. Net loss for Kroney :(
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:11,
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That's the fucking shittest idea for a staff party I've ever heard.(, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Yeah, it's a bit shit. It's all paid for though, so I resent not going.Better than nothing, innit.
Besides, there's thousands upon thousands of people working for my company in the UK. I guess they need to cut down on numbers somehow.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:13,
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OK. So you have 2000+ people spread around 200 sites in the UKnot including the staff on client sites, which number in the hundreds. Then there's head office, which also has over 200 people working there. You're rapidly approaching 3000 people. Where do you hold it and where do you get the money to pay for it all, plus accommodation?
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:17,
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Some sites have three or four people on it.Shittest party ever.
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Kroney, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:18,
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shhh you'll hurt his feelingsthere are only 3 people coming to his tonight
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:20,
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Every time I post lately.Bloody work interfering!
Every time I hit send, there's a new lunch thread and the world had moved on.
Much like my life.
*cries*
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
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