i've just been dunking a chocolate digestive into a toffee yoghurt
tell me about your snack genius
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:25, 124 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1911776
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:27, Reply)

i think that's rather harsh on barbarians

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:28, Reply)

i had to wrinkle my nose at that
but stirring pieces of fudge into toffee yoghurt would be nice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

I bet you've had "pieces of fudge" stirred into your "toffee yoghurt" before now

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:00, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/brainfade/post1911582
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:54, Reply)

How old is Swipey? I'm guessing 36

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:27, Reply)

perpetually 28 I heard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:28, Reply)

WRONG
ha
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

Yeh well you think I'm older than you
so you were wrong first
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

yes but mine was based on looks
science, see?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:31, Reply)

Yeh but you were out by nearly 10 years

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:35, Reply)

oh dear
anti-wrinkle cream maybe?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

I do not look older than 31
At least i'm not a fucking Ginger
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

i'm not going to lie to you
i have no idea what you look like
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

Not even facebook stalked me.
What kind of shit relationship is this.
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:41, Reply)

i have a number of b3tards on fb
i have no idea who is which username, apart from cunts like kroney of course
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Wow, you'd think it would be pretty easy to guess considering my username but hey ho
I'm the one with a hot wife who is 13 years younger than you and not ginger.
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:43, Reply)

a hot wife who is 13 years younger than you and not ginger
the imprint from the spine of “The best works of Shakespeare” in there forehead
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:57, Reply)

their

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:58, Reply)

He'll be the one whose tie looks like it was fastened by a one-armed spastic.

( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:49, Reply)

She's about to hit 40.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

your maths is as good as your...
everything else
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

I was going by looks.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:33, Reply)

ah yes
after all the times we've met, of course you were
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

PHOTOBUCKET NEVER LIES!!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

riiiiiiight
one blurry pic on photobucket chosen for hair colour that showed head and shoulders only.

you'd never make a lawyer/detective/priest with skills like THAT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

I was going on the year you graduated compared to the year I did

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Wouldn't birth date be a better measure?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

I don't have her birthdate
if I did I wouldn't need to guess
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

52.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

+stone

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:49, Reply)

Chips and Gravy

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:28, Reply)

standerd or standard
i never know
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:28, Reply)

A bag of dicks.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:33, Reply)

I've been dunking my sausage into YM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:34, Reply)

haha, yeah
yeah

haha
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Left over roast chicken, hot peri-peri sauce and Buttered french stick

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

Cube some stilton, place in a bowl, pour in some port, mix to form a paste.
Eat on water biscuits.

You're welcome.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

Can't I just drink the port and eat the Stilton?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

Yes, however this is well worth trying.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

My mother told me off because I drink port by the bottle rather than in a small glass once in a while

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:44, Reply)

by from
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 14:07, Reply)

What sort of port?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:45, Reply)

Any old port in a storm eh?

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:46, Reply)

I prefer tawny.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:47, Reply)

I tried white port once
it was crap
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Needs to be chilled.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:02, Reply)

It was
It just wasn't a patch on the real thing. I'm terrible though, when Dow's was half price in tesco I bought so much that I can bottle all my wines in to port bottles now.
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Me too.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:42, Reply)

I like port.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:52, Reply)

welcome going to stink like an alky tramp's feet
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

sounds...yeah

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

That sounds fucking dirty
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1911776
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:48, Reply)

I've only just got up.
It's M-Day after all.
Might have a bacon sammich
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

Morning B3th

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

Did anyone watch the Boris Johnson interview. It was well lol.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

I caught some highlights on the radio this morning.
I've always liked Eddie Mair.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:44, Reply)

I always get weirded out by his face.
Here's the best bit. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21916385
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:45, Reply)

What's M-day?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

ONLY THE DAY MY MATTRESS IS DELIVERED!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:41, Reply)

did you get a 42" one?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:41, Reply)

No but it is waterproof.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Nope, I got this one
www.dreams.co.uk/mattresses/pocket-spring-mattresses/poppy-mattress-1/
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Where's Monty today?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Court.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

He's buying furniture?

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

DS finally caught up with him, eh?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

All the furniture for my shed is not being delivered today!
Fucking stupid fucking delivery cunts!
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

have you taken the day off to wait for it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:43, Reply)

No, the wife has

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:44, Reply)

oh man, this isn't going to go down well...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:44, Reply)

From what he's said before it sounds like she doesn't go down at all.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:45, Reply)

Not since last year sometime.

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:45, Reply)

Feck socks

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:46, Reply)

I'm not allowed to put the bar in until the sideboard goes in

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:45, Reply)

She don't go down on him at all no more

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:46, Reply)

Never mind an anal digit or two

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:46, Reply)

Batts beat me too it :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:47, Reply)

I'd throw the book at them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:46, Reply)

SOMETHINGSOMETHINGBLOWJOBSLOL

( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:46, Reply)

I hope M-day isn't delayed :(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:47, Reply)

I hope it is
and I hope your new tv explodes
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:48, Reply)

I hope your wife doesn't hold the delivery delay against you and resent you for the next week. lol

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:50, Reply)

She will

( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:53, Reply)

I don't think I really want to.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:48, Reply)

Afternoon Wee Pee
Good or bad one today?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:50, Reply)

had a paperwork morning, then a steak.
Pretty good. I'm sad though because I sold my Morris Minor yesterday. Poor thing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:32, Reply)

work +round this
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:44, Reply)

oh HO!
Alright sexy knickers?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:47, Reply)

*blush*
Yeah, 'spose. You?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:48, Reply)

yurr.
Can't complain.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Bless was it past hope then.
I watched Top Gear last night first time for ages, they had Mick Fleetwood on and they shown a Photo. of his old Austin I kept thinking how the fuck did he fit in it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:45, Reply)

not really, but the garage space i was using has gone because of a cunt,
And I haven't the time to do the work at the moment. It's a real shame.
He probably sat in the back. Hightower lol.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:47, Reply)

alright Dubya
I was going through an old box of tapes at the weekend. I used to like Fear Factory and Coal Chamber.

Can we be friends now?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:50, Reply)

You actually might be just old enough to remember that brief moment when Coal Chamber were decent
Well, not with hindsight
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Loco was alright.
I was 16, Korn were the big thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:13, Reply)

I like neither of those bands I'm afraid.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:33, Reply)

woah, still sworn board foes then :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:36, Reply)

nah, you're alright.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:45, Reply)

Well, today is fun!
Had a fuck up this morning, waiting for a customer to help rectify that.

To add to that, a new company printer arrived this morning, I've installed it, set it up, and am in the process of adding it to a PC at a time. Annoyingly, as our security settings are quite strict, I have to install the printer when logged in as Administrator, then get the user to log back in, then re-add the printer.

FFS.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:51, Reply)

2/10, did not hold my attention, poor posting, not recommended, would not read again

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:56, Reply)

I didn't even read it the first time.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Whenever I install a printer under an admin account, it does so for all users.
LOL!
( Kroney, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:57, Reply)

us too
install, give authorised users permission, done. LOL :P
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:59, Reply)

Sounds like a shit system
Where's your printer server eh?
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 12:59, Reply)

MaltEaster bunnies
It should be fucking illegal for those to ever not be on sale
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:03, Reply)

I had christmas pudding with horseradish sauce once
surprisingly good
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:04, Reply)

go piss up a rope

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Ahahahahaha
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-21923218

Wouldn't square ones still hurt?
( Peej, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:20, Reply)

DON'T CLICK IT'S TUBGIRL

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Whenever you think people can't be more stupid, someone always comes along and proves you wrong.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:31, Reply)

We just saw that on the news.
It was a serious WTF? Killer flapjacks?
maybe the kids should just be fork-fed by a responsible adult.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Wouldn't it just be easier to tell the children that they're not supposed to throw food?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Don't be silly.
That would infringe their human rights. Children need to have freedom of expression.

Of course, if they happen to be expressing the fact that they're mannerless plebs with shit parents, then so be it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Oh yeah

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:42, Reply)

s'against their 'ooman rights, innit?
can't be directing them towards being good little boys and girls, the naughty teachers would be oppressing them or pedos or somefink!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:42, Reply)

I remember once speaking to a parent about teaching their child manners
and she actually said "That's the school's job"

There's no wonder the kids are so awful when that's what they've got at home.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:50, Reply)

Surely, nanny state etc aside
this is an example of a situation where the only possible response should be "Hahahahaha! You fucking twat!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Again
you can't say that to kids because you'll affect their self-image.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:41, Reply)

But surely the issue in this case is that a flapjack was thrown at someone's head. Not how pointy it was.
I reckon the head fucking loves flapjacks and said "How many of these triangles have we got left? 50? OK, take them to my office, they're banned"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:44, Reply)

I'm going to have these terrible, awful weapons...erm....destroyed

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:49, Reply)

It's canvey island
they probably think that triangles are illegal immigrants from triangland.

Or that they're witchcraft.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:54, Reply)

Badge start a new thread this one has about run it's course

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:57, Reply)

I don't do starting threads, hh, I've just not got the mojo.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 25 Mar 2013, 13:57, Reply)