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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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good article here
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/apr/24/10-great-urban-myths-debunked

what "facts" do you believe? Make up a fact. Go fact yourself

alt: best ice cream flavour (just for you fatties)
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:40, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I believe you to be a bent spastic.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:48, Reply)
i believe this thread is a great success

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:49, Reply)
I believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows,

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:50, Reply)
you would

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:51, Reply)
why on earth would you believe that?
It's clearly not true, rain falls in all sorts of places where there are no flowers. Christ you're a fucking idiot sometimes you really are.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:08, Reply)
I've already got a facebook feed full of people claiming the boston bombings were faked
and that they used amputees, actors and fake blood. What a fucking bunch of fucktards. They are more bent and spasticated than you.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:52, Reply)
I never get any kind of shit like this on fb, what is wrong with all you people's friends?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:53, Reply)
I have two friends that believe David Icke
Which means they question every fucking thing no matter how retarded.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:54, Reply)
how can you be friends with someone like that?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:55, Reply)
Because offline they never mention it and a generally very friendly likeable people

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:59, Reply)
but clearly idiots?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:02, Reply)
Oh yes

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:27, Reply)
I don't get it either, I mean I've a few people I've hidden, but they're just annoying not aggressively dim like this

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:54, Reply)
I had a few on mine asking questions about it for a couple of days afterwards
Fortunately, they seem to have shut up now.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:12, Reply)
I believe you're a bent spastic.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:53, Reply)
yeah I well I believe all the things swipe says about you

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:56, Reply)
Thus proving my point.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:58, Reply)
i dunno it seems pretty clear cut

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:02, Reply)
HAVE YOU SEEN THE SECRET DOSSIER OF EVIDENCE ????

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:04, Reply)
It's required reading at the secretbashes

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:05, Reply)
SPILL THE GOODS VIA A QUICK PRECIS

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:07, Reply)
You'll just have to turn up to one

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:07, Reply)
ive got an air of mystery to think about

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:08, Reply)
ive never heard of a long precis tbh

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Psychochomp acts in an ungentlemanly manner. Refuses to apologise.
Swipe refuses to let it go. Twenty years of griping at each other on a messageboard before finally public opinion sways against the pair of them and they shut the hell up.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:08, Reply)
No I didn't.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Sorry, should have said "refuses to accept culpability"
it's open to wider interpretation, that way.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:11, Reply)
'ungentlemanly' manner can really mean anything
did he leave shit streaks up the toilet? I've had that before D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Seriously, I don't know how people are brought up these days.
Not a day goes by where I don't go into the bogs here to find a bowel full of pissed-on bog roll, or somebody's shat all over the walls, or something.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:12, Reply)
don't you live alone ?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:13, Reply)
Dude. At work.
I meant in the office.

God.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:13, Reply)
yeah, its funny because they're dirty fucking bastards who don't clean their hands and are fucking savages and shuffle their ties and ruffle their hair in the mirror still with shit on their hands

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:15, Reply)
One time, no joke, it looked like somebody and bent over three feet from the bog
aimed their ring roughly at the bowel and violently sharted with the force of a hundred volcanos.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:17, Reply)
you should try to not shit in your hands maybe?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:18, Reply)
^if you've ever wondered whether naked ape wipes his arse after shitting

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Can't say I have, no.
I always had him down as a 'double Arab' ie you can't safely shake either hand.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:28, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:15, Reply)
I believe I can fly.
I believe I can touch the sky.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Alt: my mother's brown bread icecream.
Sounds revolting. Is delicious. I also have a 70s soft spot for rum and raisin, and mint choc chip. The chef at Lusty's makes honeycomb ice cream which is nice, and blueberry which is also nice.

But, hey - sweet food is for birds and queers.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:56, Reply)
I hear it's to die for

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:56, Reply)
I've made brown bread icecream, it's good.
can be difficult to get the ratio right.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:57, Reply)
I got my mother's recipe, it looks pretty easy

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 12:59, Reply)
lol strikethrough lol

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:01, Reply)
I believe the world would be a better place with me as its benevolent, all-powerful tyrant.
But this may be a conceit.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:03, Reply)
GREEN TEA ICE CREAM, NOT TOO SWEET COS IM WATCHING ME WEIGHT YOU KNOW

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:03, Reply)
I believe I'm fucking knackered
next time I move I'm springing for two guys and a truck, not one. Ended up helping carry a load out of the old place and into the new, lift-less place to save time. My arms are killing me.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:04, Reply)
what sort of limp wristed queer are you

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:05, Reply)
what sort of limp wristed queer are you

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:05, Reply)
what sort of limp wristed queer are you

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Andrew Marr, obviously

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:07, Reply)
^ YEAH TO ALL OF THEM

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:06, Reply)
YEAH

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:07, Reply)
what sort of limp wristed queer are you

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:09, Reply)
the sort with a desk job who keeps meaning to go to the gym but never gets round to it
Seriously, about 25 boxes, desk, bookcase, clothes, microwave, TV, stereo...
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:18, Reply)
I did offer.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:24, Reply)
I couldn't do that to you, Monts
It want much fun.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:30, Reply)
I wasn't expecting fun. Your call anyway boss.
I tried.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Just had a cursory glance at that link
I've never heard any of those 'well known urban myths'
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Not even 'You're never more than 6ft from a rat'

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:08, Reply)
TBH I stopped reading after the first three

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:09, Reply)
i've heard that you are never more than 6ft from Andrew Marr

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:10, Reply)
*sigh*
*looks at watch*
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:17, Reply)
you've never heard the 6ft from a rat one?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Not even the 6ft from ANDREW MARR one?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:09, Reply)
muhmunermunermuner6ftmunerratmuhmuner

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:10, Reply)
If I can get them, I like weird flavours, like...
Rose, Violet, Bubblegum, Banana.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:09, Reply)
i am shocked by this

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:10, Reply)
This place is amazing
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Boho-Gelato-Italian-Ice-Cream/131479596873352
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:12, Reply)
what about that breast milk ice cream?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:34, Reply)
I donno bout that one, to tell you the truth.... I think it's one of those ingredients that loses its appeal the moment it's taken from the source.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:43, Reply)
I believe that the US knew that Pearl Harbour was coming (or an attack, at least)
Alt: Mint choc chip or lemon meringue pie.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:13, Reply)
they should have lsitened to Ben Affleck

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:15, Reply)
alt: actually went into an ice cream place yesterday
Dozens of flavours and I went for raspberry ripple. Lovely.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:20, Reply)
i like raspberry ripple with raspberry sauce on top
but overall - salted caramel with lumps of fudge or mint choc chip ftw, i think.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Kiwi sorbet.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:34, Reply)
never tried that
but i do like sorbet. nice and refreshing.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Kiwi is the best, or Mango, or lemon.
Fuck it, sorbet is the bomb.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:36, Reply)
i like that 70's style pudding where they scrape out an orange or a lemon
and fill it with sorbet
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:48, Reply)
I like to scrape out YM and fill her with spunk sorbet

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:52, Reply)
I read that article yesterday,
And I still believe that all of those things are true. I'm experimenting with the attitude of anti-vaccine people by not reading anything unless it agrees with what I already believe, and everyone else who has facts is a brainwashed moron.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Hiya Windy Pig!
I think you need to blow away some cobwebs, clear your head and get yourself down that there London for the curry of a lifetime and loads of drink and drugs.

That's what I think, anyway.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:27, Reply)
that is a fantastic idea.
Imma look at my schedule for the next couple of weeks, see if I can pick out a day.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:28, Reply)
I'll book the next day off, there's a sofabed at mine, bish bash bosh.
Bish LASH bosh more like!!!!
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:29, Reply)
LAD!

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:32, Reply)
hell yes
to the bash, not the sofabed. just to be clear. that is all mr pig's.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:34, Reply)
ha, you want to sleep with me, and I'm ginger.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:35, Reply)
she's ginger as well
your offspring would be orange
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:39, Reply)
that's not how it works.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:42, Reply)
yeah it is, genetics innit
two rangas are more likely to have a ginger baby than two black haired folk.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:43, Reply)
no.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Oh man you should come with me to Amsterdam tomorrow!!
24hrs and counting now
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:30, Reply)
no thanks.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:35, Reply)
ah...ok then, maybe I'll see you in London yeah?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:37, Reply)
oh, I didn't know you were coming, I'm pretty busy, maybe next month or something?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:39, Reply)
yeah alright, shall I pencil something in?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:41, Reply)
no, let's not put anything down until I know where I am.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:43, Reply)
s'alright I'm free every weekend in june and July, so whenever

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:44, Reply)
I work weekends, how are your Wednesdays?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:44, Reply)
for you, they're free xxx

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Come down on the 10th.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Bristol or London?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:37, Reply)
London.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:39, Reply)

I'm in Kent on the 10th.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:40, Reply)
+ Clarke

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:40, Reply)
What a Kent.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:41, Reply)
What have I missed?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:39, Reply)
There was some deletion, I think we were just about to get down to where the sexual tension between Swipe and Chomp started.
Sad Times, I was looking forward to some goss.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Ohhhhhhhhhhh.........In other words nothing new then?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Oh man, I was at lunch.
Was it fun?
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:53, Reply)
nothing says "i know i'm totally in the right, bow down before me" like deletion

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Can you make something up for those of us who missed it?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Swipe bummed Chompy so hard he shat all over her duvet
or something
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I heard he yelled "Drink my homebrew you SLAAAAAAAAAAG," before spunking in her face
which would have been fine, but they'd just arrived at the Bernie Inn he'd chosen and the excitement of being with a girl got to much for our Milton Keynes Lothario.

It still does her nut in to this day
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:00, Reply)
This all sounds perfectly plausible to me.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)
It's like they are not even trying to make stuff up

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:03, Reply)
I heard that Kroney had a BBQ last night and forgot to invite someone

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:02, Reply)
;)

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Ohhhhh I forgot to mention "Wheeler dealers trading up" on Tues. he was in Japan
And he bought a MK 1 Toyota Celica
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:06, Reply)
Best car ever.
Mine's going to be a bit special
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:09, Reply)
It broke down and he sold it for a loss

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Forty year old car, innit.

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)
the raising waist line behind the front door is pure Camaro

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Yeah, seventies Jap tin took huge inspiration from American cars at the time.
Plenty of people look at one and think "mustang"
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:12, Reply)
well they'd be idiots cos it looks like someone shrank a camaro

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
The liftback looks like a Mustang Mach 1, to me.
But the coupe is much more like a Camaro.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
like the rest of you?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:11, Reply)
In that I'm a much better ride than average, due to my uprated underpinnings
Yes.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:12, Reply)
oh, i meant "a bit special"
special like a keyboard mashing thread deleter.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:15, Reply)
You could at least give me some credit
for a witty comeback that totally makes me look well clever and well hung.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
: (

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:05, Reply)

orange drink?
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:06, Reply)
I believe that all DIY tasks are booby trapped beforehand to make them more fucking difficult
I also believe that all callcentres are chock full of fucking idiots who cannot operate a computer. THE FUCKING CUNTS

Alt:
Pralines and Cream
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Ha ha....what have you done to yourself this time?

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:00, Reply)
he "accidently" nailed his balls to piece of wood that the dog then ran off with and tried to bury

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:01, Reply)
this^

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:07, Reply)
You really need to get access to both a Hilti and a Paslode Gun

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Thanks "Stanley Unwin"

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:10, Reply)
NO REAL NAMES

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:14, Reply)
St*nley Unw*n

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)
The previous owners appear to have glued on the wallpaper and placed "possibly" live light fittings in every window
Santan-fucking-der have managed to fuck up my bank details for two months running now and sent me out a letter confirming they were switching this months direct debit over to my old bank account (with no money in).

Bint: "Its OK, you can just pay now if you want"
Cow: "I don't magically have £1325 to spare, you tit"
Bint: "Oh"
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:09, Reply)
Since Satander has taken over RBS my DD's are all over the shop
Taken out whenever they feel like it, it's like they have a roulette table system
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Everyone in the world apart from The One Account are cunts

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Well he was up to his back wheels in "Tommy Walsh" when the craggy old geezer carked it, his schincter spasmed and he fell through loft floor dragging sporters behind by him the cock into the bedroom below

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Proper officelol

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
I hit the "Ground" with some "Force"

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:18, Reply)
You utter dimmock

(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
lolz
click
(, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 14:20, Reply)

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