why name a cat?
It's not like they respond to their own name is it?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:24, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

In a few short years they'll be dead anyway and you'll just get a new one
Just like children
( Theoban What of it, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Maddie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Christ, children are fucking shit aren't they?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)

They're alright after about eighteen years
And you can sort of hold a conversation with them
But before that it's all shitting, puking, being shit, being stupid. Waste of everyone's time
( Theoban What of it, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)

nah, mine is loads of fun

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

yeah, but you're an easily amused trend following moron.
You've only got a kid because your wife told you how great it would be, and as you can't think for yourself, your brain tells you you're loving it, but deep down, somewhere in that mushy brain pan of yours, is a spark of doubt. My advice is steer clear of acid and steroids.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

it's 3 years of screaming, puking and shitty arses
8 years of making sure they don't get nicked or groped or run over

7 years of spots and angst and sweat and furtive wanking and refusing to talk to you because they hate you and it's all your fault and they didn't ask to be born

3 years of paying through the nose when they fuck off to uni
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

And then the cunts have kids of their own and will expect you to look after them.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I'm glad someone here has some sense.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)

But people say they'll look after you when you get old
I dunno about you but I'm topping meself when I start getting infirm, fuck that noise.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)

I ain't being a burden to anyone, never again

( Theoban What of it, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)

how many people's kids fuck off to australia or somewhere
there is no way that spewing out a piece of crotchfruit means that it will even like you when it gets older, never mind be grateful enough to return the piss/shit-wiping favour
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)

loads of people I went to school with are having kids,
They keep insisting I come and visit, and I know it's just a ruse, they'll run away and leave me with the pukey little wanker.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

Just tell them the terms of your licence don't permit you within 50 metres of any children

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Sexy though

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)

sexy chillllldren...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)

YES

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

some do

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Course they do.
Not because they recognise it as a name, of course. But they still associate those noises with attention/food/strokes/whatever.
( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

well that isn't the same thing as having a name is it?
You could just ring a bell, or bang s little gong. Humanising a cat is stupid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Well yes, quite.

( Kroney, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)

I bet dozer named his hamster after a ground breaking DJ we've never heard of.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)

MC Sphincter

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

...or a Joy Div song that speaks to his soul.
The cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

"Never Tear Arse Apart"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)

it's called grace
which i think is short for "anal g-spot race"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)

I bet it was the girl he was dancing with when he first heard "insert shit record with deep meaning" here.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

it can be amusing though
i quite like cats/dogs with ridiculously human names, like graham, or marcus, or alan.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)

SOMEONE on here has a dog called George.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

My dog is called Charlie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

How does it smell?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Like a dead bird

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)

although I love having dogs,
Every time one of them finds some fox poo, and has a weird fit involving rolling around in it, I seriously consider just leaving them on the meadow to fend for themselves.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)

my friend's dog labours under the fond illusion that fox shit is deliciously wafting enticing perfume
he is very very wrong
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)

your shit and puke arguments are undermined by your love of dogs :P

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)

I don't have to wipe a dogs bottom, or change its nappy.
Nor do I have to get up in the night for them. Nor do I have to be near them all day and night. Nor do I have to do anymore than an easy training regime. Nor do they cry loudly and irritatingly. Nor do I have to carry a fucking ton of stuff everywhere I go with it. They do not ruin other people's experiences with their smell it noise. They do not puke on anything I own, except once on the back door rug. I do not have yo have play dates with other dog owners. I could go on.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:49, Reply)

i'd still bet that there are windypiglets at some point though...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)

never say never,
But considering the thing that causes ladypigs near blindness can be passed on, at the moment she is dead against it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)

hmmm. there might be some sort of screening you could have?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)

What does he say?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)

Never talk to strangers in the park
Unless they have a stick
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)

it's not me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)

our budgie was convinced that "joey" meant hello
every time you went near the cage, it bellowed, "JOEY!" at you. well, insofar as something that weighs about an ounce can bellow.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

you need to just go and marry Frank.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)

he's been quiet today
maybe momo finally killed and ate him?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

maybe a real mod stepped him.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)

haha what a right laugh, eh?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:35, Reply)

haha, yeah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)

oh do check'em
please check'em
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Cats respond best to names that end in a y, apparently.
Which was news to my cat Benny who never fucking paid a blind bt of notice to me unless he was hungry, the little prick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

That's because you tied him to a tree.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)

ho HO!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)

That settles it.
I'll call him Monty.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Are you sayin' I'm a pussy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Yes.
gaylord hippy, fancy a fight after school?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

You wait til my dad hears about this.
You gon' be SUSPENDED, niggah
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

this is going to be like the grant/firth fight scene in BJ diary isn't it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)

'BJ Dairy'?????

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

I SAW THAT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

genuinely i did no such typo/edit
your eyes are failing, old fruit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)

That's no milk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Swipe the teenage years

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:40, Reply)

My dad could cunt your dad any time.
Jewboy.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)

RIGHT THAT'S IT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

if you get another one you can call it Rommel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)

That would make it a fox

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

that's so cunning as to disguise itself as a cat to get free food

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)