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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I did the most 'internet' thing I've ever done in my life yesterday.
I ate a full rack of ribs for breakfast. At 10am*. I'm so ashamed.

What's the most internet thing you have done/seen (apart from 'seen a picture of SuperMatt')?


*this is what happens when you wake up feeling rough as fuck and start watching 'Diners Drive-ins and Dives'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:41, 232 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I didn't smack someone in the face for using the word "lol" in real life

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:43, Reply)
I went to a beer festival and talked about the news and homebrew with my "pals"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:46, Reply)
Sorry but that is not the most internet thing you've ever done.
Not by a fucking mile.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:50, Reply)
I put a blanket over one of the bedroom blinds because the sun was too bright.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:52, Reply)
oh and I had an argument with my other half about how cheese on toast should be done,
if it was raining, I tell you I would have gone out to stand in it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:51, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:53, Reply)
I downloaded "Jack Reacher" does that count?
Ribs for breakfast sounds like a great idea, I went to a hog roast on Sunday that was really nice, 3 whole suckling pigs and Moar beer than I have comsumed in one sitting for a few years all gratis \o/
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:47, Reply)
That film is AMAZING!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:47, Reply)
I didn't know what to expect, I did enjoy the bar fight scene

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:48, Reply)
I ent never been on the internet, soz
Have you heard Weatherall's A Love From Outer Space stuff? It's right up your street.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:50, Reply)
In reality I'm not very Internet at all, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:54, Reply)
I'm sure I'm not.
For one thing, I spent most of the weekend outside.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:56, Reply)
lies

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)
The best I can come up with is that there are up to three Iron Maiden records somewhere in my collection and I haven't had a haircut since September.
Does any of that qualify?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:59, Reply)
yes, well done

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:02, Reply)
+larping

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)
I had never even heard of larping before I signed up to b3ta.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Me neither.
I've learnt some pretty shocking things about 'humanity' from this site.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I'm not convinced all of them are 'human'

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:11, Reply)
They would agree with you.
They believe themselves to be 'elven wizards' or some shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)
^^ lies ^^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Me neither, nor furries or steam punk

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:16, Reply)
I like your record,
I'm well gutted.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)
Oh really?
That's good - for a prick, you do seem to know a bit about music.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:58, Reply)
I'm the biggest prick going.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:59, Reply)
+ Games Workshop

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)
I'd like to think I'm not either
which is why I was so appalled to find myself nomming away in that disgusting manner. I might as well have gone the whole hog and kept my curtains closed and spent the day High End Gaming and eating donuts.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:56, Reply)
Needs MOAR forest moon of Endor

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:59, Reply)
That's what he calls his scrotum

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:06, Reply)

not very Internet at all a bent spastic
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)
Recently the most internet thing I have seen is some twat stomping a perfectly satisfactory thread.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:00, Reply)
50 replies in 90 mins is as 'satisfactory' as Captain Placid's workrate

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:02, Reply)
Ohhh man I got had by a false Cap. Placid on Fri.

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)
I hate that Amigo Loans company.
They put the onus on "your mate" to be a guarnture, almost implying they're not a mate if you don't back them. You'd might as well lend them the money yourself if you have it.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Can you lend me a couple of grand?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Can you help me dump a body in a lake?
goo.gl/maps/McDva
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)
WTF
is that real?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Yup

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:39, Reply)
Just had a look.
It's a secured loan on their house at stupid interest rates, no amigo should ever ask another for that.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Does getting up early to torrent an episode of the Walking Dead count?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Yes, it definitely does.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:20, Reply)
What were you eating while watching it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)
Cheese

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Biting it straight from the block?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Of course

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Back on the Block?
Good morning Quincy Jones.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)
I'm still, I'm still chewin' on the block
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)
Gonz

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Otherkin

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)
YM.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:18, Reply)
Highly unlikely

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:19, Reply)
I ate an entire pack of hot and spicy battered king prawns for breakfast yesterday.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:21, Reply)
A fucking excellent breakfast

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:23, Reply)
I'd eat that now, with gusto

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

gusto sweet chilli sauce
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)

sweet chilli sauce cheese
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:26, Reply)
I have a mate who insists that mixing sweet and savoury foods is bad and wrong.
He likes sweet chilli sauce, and ketchup etc. When I pointed out this massive inconsistency he replied that this could be excused by what he calls 'ingredients theory', whereby something can be deemed savoury even if it contains sweet things. I suggested that perhaps a clue might be found in the name of 'sweet chilli sauce' as to its nature.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:28, Reply)
The separation of sweet and savoury is pretty modern in terms of fooding
so he's never had honey on pork or whatever? Your mate is a prick.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)
He's a vegetarian so no he hasn't. He's got some peculiar ideas and no mistaking.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Why do you even bother talking to a vegetarian about food.
Whenever one brings it up, just do what I do and spit in their face.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)
I set fire to him.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:35, Reply)
That's a very internet way of dealing with slight annoyances.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I went to a Hog Roast on Sunday
3 suckling pigs all marinated slightly differently, one had a Southern glaze that used root beer as part of the marinade, and it was sweet but fucking gorgeous
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:33, Reply)
I still haven't got around to Nigella Lawson's ham cooked in Coke recipe but I really want to try it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)
I'd love a go on Nigella Lawson.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:35, Reply)
yeah
because what every gorgeous successful famous chef wants is a spotty internet loser panting over her. you'll be right in there.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:36, Reply)
chef? haha

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)
you can put whatever noun you like in there
model, actress, newsreader, lawyer... the rest of the sentence is exactly the same
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)
whatevs babydoll, whatevs

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:42, Reply)
It is fucking great
I do a ham like this every Christmas
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:36, Reply)
he is right
but he is wrong on things like ketchup and HP and sweet chilli sauce. they are wrong and bad and generally fucking foul.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Parmesan shavings with honey drizzled over is fucking lovely, as is gorgonzola with honey.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)
what is the fucking matter with you?
has that hamster finally chewed its way up your guts and into your brain?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:35, Reply)
No, I had that in Italy and it's fucking lovely.
Give it a go.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:36, Reply)
i have
our catering team at work seem to think that gorgonzola dipped in honey and spread on ciabattia makes a good sandwich. they are fucking WRONG and so are you.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:37, Reply)
No, it's you that's wrong here.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)
That sounds alright to me.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:58, Reply)

's fucking lovely was the only thing on the menu that didn't contain meat
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Italian food lends itself to veggie recipes very easily.
It's a nightmare trying to get decent veggie stuff in France.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:39, Reply)
It does, but they don't see it that way.
The French are ridiculous - even a Margherita pizza comes with ham on it.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)
see also the spanish

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:52, Reply)
and the Japs, I am told

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)
and the chinese, i'd have thought
any country where a chicken foot is a delicacy isn't going to be that fussy about vegetarianism
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)
I was met with utter incomprehension by a Spanish waiter once when I tried to explain there was nothing I could eat from the food on offer.
Then I learned the phrase 'Soy vegetariano y no comer pescado' and was treated like a king* for the remainder of my holiday.
It's possible I was the first Englishman ever to have attempted to speak Spanish to him.

*Well, a vegetarian king.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:58, Reply)
A princess then

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:02, Reply)
are we being internet tonight?
or do i have to go running instead, the very antithesis of Internet?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:33, Reply)
RUNNING AFTER PIES IS STILL INTERNET

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)
IF I DON'T GO TO THE INTERNET DRINKS
I WON'T BE EATING ANY PIES
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM ANDREW MARR !!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:36, Reply)
no, not really?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:37, Reply)
DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT AND KILL YOURSELF

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:43, Reply)
you'd miss me far too much
who else am i going to come crawling to in a week's time when i am missing my daily 25 emails to keep me strong and committed to that no contact low?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:52, Reply)
WHY DO YOU CRUMBLE WHEN HE SENDS YOU A BUD BUD DING DING TEXT?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)
omg
i can't believe i laughed at that. haven't heard that for years. terrible.

i don't know. because i'm soft and hopeless?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:58, Reply)
hahahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:05, Reply)
I bet you ate a few Greggs in your time, bebbeh

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:37, Reply)
there was mischief involving mouths and a mint and dipping oil and other things on sunday
but that's it now. never seeing him again. all done.

he cried. i did not. i am quite proud of this. usually the only men i make cry are my trainees.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)
It's a good job we all believe you now
and this won't be repeated ad nauseum in the coming months
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:39, Reply)
i know, right?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Course you aren't seeing him again.

Course.

*does massive Jimmy Hill chin stroking gesture*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)
:((

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Yeah, yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:42, Reply)
are you actually going to find this place tonight?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Dunno
Is anybody good going?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:54, Reply)
ME
and monty and stunned and himjim and lighty and lampito and charms and berk i think
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:55, Reply)
so 'no' then

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)
i have my epic new sneakers that you liked
shiny!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Nice work

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:04, Reply)
I might not try too hard to find it.
I stumbled across it by accident the other day. It's obviously one of those out of the way places you find by accident but never when you're actually looking for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:59, Reply)
you come out of MAJOR STATION liverpool street
you follow the signs for MAJOR LANDMARK spitalfields market

and it's IN THERE

not difficult
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:01, Reply)
Whatever
it's down all side streets and that.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:02, Reply)
see, what i heard there was
bloo bloo bloo...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Yeah, Greggs hat really is a grizzling little bitch, huh?
I expect I'll get another update in a couple of months when you inexplicably start seeing him again having expected a leopard to change his spots. I, for one, am always surprised when this happens.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:09, Reply)
I can't see this happening about 50 times.
Not me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)
There comes a point where the fault stops lying with the nasty man.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
But Greggs is so moreish

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
that point never arrives
it is always the man's fault

ALWAYS

i have a date with a different one next week. he designs airports. let's see what's wrong with this one...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Yeah, no, sorry. This is your fault now.
You know what he's like and you keep going back. Your fault.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:21, Reply)
agreein with dis

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)
If he has any sense he'll "runway"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Terminal joke ahoy

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Maybe this guy will feature in the pilot episode of her sitcom?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Excess Baggage if you ask me

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Should check out his BMI, baby

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:27, Reply)
I'm up for it

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)
marvellous
and i think stunned is. and kroney. and berk, although i must text her. 7 at F&S it is!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:35, Reply)
BOOM!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Whatever happened to berk?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:45, Reply)
ONE FAT JIBE TOO MANY

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:47, Reply)
work or something serious

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Well, on the one hand I spent all yesterday out in the sun with a real life girl and the previous evening at a barbecue with lots of real people
On the other, I watched Iron Man 3, The Hobbit and used "for the lols" multiple times in spoken sentences. I used it in an ironic manner, but I don't think that excuses it.

As ever, I am a one foot either side of the line kind of guy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)

the line a 'merde'-encrusted glass coffee table
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:45, Reply)
Morning, Al.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:45, Reply)
There's nothing artificial about my intelligence

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:46, Reply)
+Maginot

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Lusty and I had a vegetarian barbecue yesterday, I shit you not.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Listening to folk music and eating vegetarian food.
Yurt prick.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Innit doe?
I think I must be 'on the turn'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Surely that is a "grill", not a BBQ?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:52, Reply)
Halloumi and aubergine kebabs, marinated butternut squash and a load of veg deli sides.
It was jolly nom, all washed down with bellinis and high end lagers.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:54, Reply)
This sounds rather nice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:59, Reply)
We were the smug cunts in the park with all the accessories like champagne flutes and real plates etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:00, Reply)
I had a sausage sarnie in the garden yesterday
Does this count?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:01, Reply)
I'm afraid not.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:03, Reply)
/o\

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:03, Reply)
bender

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Fucking Hoxton pricks

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:23, Reply)
We were in London Fields as well - it was bursting at the seams with hipster cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Did you have your uke with you?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)
I bet he had a bongo he made himself out of rubbish.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Yeah, including a pair of Shoreditch wankers
with champagne flutes, chinaware and a vegetarian fucking barbecue.

I'm ashamed of you, I really am.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:25, Reply)
I bet they had side plates as well

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Oh, for fuck's sake, Monty.
I do a good barbecued portobellow garlic mushroom. I do a good barbecue banana. However, a barbecue without meat?

That's like a sandwich without bread. Pointless.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:54, Reply)
portobellow?
hahaha brilliant gonz channelling there, mr oboejean
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)
eyethangyew

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)
I cut a banana and put Chocolate Buttons in it before BBQing

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:00, Reply)
Hi Gonz!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Try it

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Needs moar rum and cinnamon

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:12, Reply)
slice banana down middle.
Insert twix. Wrap in foil. Bake on barbecue.

Profit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Bake on barbecue throw in bin
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)

throw in bin

insert up anus to tempt hamster to follow
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)
THERE'S A REASON WHY LINDA MCCARTNEY DIED A SLOW HORRIBLE DEATH, AND IT WERENT JUST BECAUSE OF WINGS

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:55, Reply)
WAS IT BECAUSE YOU TOUCHED YOURSELF AT NIGHT?
AND YOU STILL DO, DESPERATELY, EVERY TIME THE STEAK WITCH IS OUT ON HER BROOMSTICK?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)
LINDAS ROSSIDEGES ARE SHIT
END OF GAME OVER NUFF SAID
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:58, Reply)
HEY SHOUTY ROARY
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CAPS TODAY?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:00, Reply)
IM SPREADSHEETING IN CAPS MAN, I ENT CHANGING FOR NOBODY

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:09, Reply)
fucking spreadsheet monkey

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:15, Reply)
Was it 'because she had cancer'?
I bet it was.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)
THATS WHAT HER VEGETARIAN FROZEN FOOD COMPANY WANT YOU TO THINK

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:59, Reply)
FUCKIN MUNG-PUSHERS

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:00, Reply)
I've been to two ace barbecues this weekend
I've done very little internet over the last 3 days, however I did have some honey-roasted bacon chops for a late breakfast yesterday.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 7 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)
No-one cares.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:01, Reply)
I really can't be fucked to do any work today
I have also come to the conclusion that whilst going to other peoples bbq's can be ok, having one of your own is just hassle, is too expensive and is best avoided.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:05, Reply)
I've got BBQ's down to an art.
They can be pretty cheap if you make stuff from scratch rather than buy those BBQ packs. Buy a whole chicken, bone it and put in jerk sauce over night, cook it whole and then chop it up. Make burgers and kebabs yourself and you're feeding a lot of people for less than £30.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)
fucking people eating my chcicken
they'd better bring some beers and gin
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:28, Reply)
^^ This ^^
also have BBQ down to a fine art, unless I use Hake and Langoustines, can feed a lot of people for less than £50 and Nakers is right guests supply the liquid refreshments.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Having spent the afternoon on the german beers
I was too lazy to make food in the evening so I ordered takeout pizza even though I'm going out for pizza this evening. That's pretty internet, I reckon.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:29, Reply)
So I was at Kew Gardens, yesterday.
Whilst we were walking around, I saw a guy walking around in sandles with a peculiar instrument. It seems he'd strapped a uke neck to a jerry can. He was playing it as he wandering around the gardens as though he though he was a wandering minstrel.

If I'd known that I'd just seen Monty, I'd have murdered him and spared London Fields the abuse it was going to receive later at the hands of his mushroom and mung bean barbecue.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:30, Reply)
O
M

G

I was in Kew gardens all day yesterday, mini ape was pottering around without a nappy on and did a massive turd by someone's picnic.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:33, Reply)
O
M
G

I was in my garden yesterday
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:36, Reply)
eating a sausagge sandwich?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)
No, sausage

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:38, Reply)
Oh
Em
Gee
I was in my parents' garden yesterday.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)
Mum?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Did you get the cup of tea I left for you?
You were a little, erm, busy, so I left it on the side and crept out quietly.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
IT WAS COLD YOU CUNT

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Oh
Em
Vee

is a tragic waste of life
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I hate children
Especially children that run around without any drawers on and shit beside picnics. That's fucking vile.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I hope it was your picnic she crapped next to
fucking stupidly busy though eh? Also it's a fucking rip off, luckily mrs ape works there so we get in gratis. I wouldn't bother otherwise
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:38, Reply)
How much is it?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
£13-ish
i think kids are free.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
For a fucking greenhouse?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Try 16.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Thanks "Bartleby"

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)
nonce

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)
I've seen it busier.
The queue by Victoria Gate was massive. We ended up walking all the way around to Brentford Gate by the car park. Some guy didn't like us walking faster than him and sped up. We ended up in this ridiculous walking race. Unfortunately for him he was over fifty and competing against two people with a combined height of over 12 foot. He didn't stand a chance.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
i wanted an ice cream but the queue was too long : (
Anyway, why didn't you come and say hello?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Because we've ever met and I don't know what you look like?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Ben Fogle.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)
He will recognised you by the smell of BBQ and garlic

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:46, Reply)
You wouldn't need to know what he looks like
just look for the 30ft of wire trailing from whichever pocket he keeps his phone in.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)
And the wild look in his eye when any bird flys to close to him

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Ape is Karen Carpenter?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Karen Carpenter Alfred Hitchcock
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)
you could have asked

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:47, Reply)
I didn't see you saying hello, either.
Antisocial prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
i had a massive lubed up erection
nipple clamps and a butt plug the size of a pint glass
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
og would have been your best mate for all that.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I bet she would have

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)
ninjalolz

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)
snigger

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:58, Reply)
I've trained mine to make a beeline for people like you
Especially if they are with their girlfriend and having to pretend they're a nice person still.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I hope you ensure that they ahev sticky, grubby hands first

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
I nearly threw two kids into the lake by the Palm House
for getting too close and being noisy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)
Maybe he was a story teller
and his story must be told
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:35, Reply)
John?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:36, Reply)
Lewis?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:39, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)
tee hee

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:41, Reply)
hahaha
In Sweden I am Johann
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)
This was a pic of you at your vegnic

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:43, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:45, Reply)
In Russia I am Ivan

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)
what is this?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:49, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storybook_International
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)
I wasn't allowed to watch ITV on account of it being common

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)
..and look how well THAT turned out

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:51, Reply)

on account of it being common because the cable from the transmitter didn't reach
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:52, Reply)
This
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUeWsgPRI08
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 7 May 2013, 10:50, Reply)

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