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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hangover update: gone.That'll be the extra couple of hours
So this evening I have to go to marriage guidance. What's the fucking point?
Alt: what pointless exercise do you have to go through this week?
AltAlt: tomorrow I'm back off to Poland, when are you next going abroad?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:29,
217 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Probably none with that attitude, but I think the purpose of it is to try to resolve issues within a marriage to prevent its breakdown.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:30,
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Too late for that. I don't want to stay married to her.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:31,
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Or maybe you are hurt and lashing out?As Nakers says below, it's not only about you and Mrs Battered.
Also, take a look around at some of the bitter old divorcees on here.
Do you really want to end up like them?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:36,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1960929
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:38,
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to get your marriage back on track, if not for your sake then for micro battered?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:31,
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really? REALLY?think about the long game
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:32,
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It's best for micro. I grew up in an argumentative household, I don't want her doing the same.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:33,
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i got the feeling she was divorcing you though?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:35,
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Yep, she started it all, I now agree it's the best thing to do. Hence why the fuck spend £80 an hour on marriage guidance?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:37,
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well clearly mrs b thinks there is the possibility of reconciliation, otherwise why botheri would suggest going to at least 1 session with an open mind, you never know what a 3rd party may be able to see through the fog of anger and confusion and help you two to reconnect.
It worked for PJ and he's a right cunt
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:40,
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We've been to a couple of sessions already. pointless.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:42,
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this infomation wasn't in the Original Post, please be more accurate in future, thx(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:43,
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I feel like I've wasted my time here.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:44,
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I KNOW RITEAs one of the few people here emotionally stbale and mature enough to make a marriage my advice carries real weight and I try and be nice and helpful for once and this is how he repays me?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:47,
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It's only really £40/hour - she's planning on pocketing the rest.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:40,
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get your nob out and ask them if anything is wrong with it(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:31,
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That would be a BIG conversation!Geddit?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:34,
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you can't make me(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:16,
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Oh man the hash there is fucking NOM(as one might imagine)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:07,
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Have you asked her what the point is? Because I don't think any of us are going to know.My hangover's lessened somewhat. I think I might make it. Apologies to Chompy, whom I rather think was hoping for the opposite outcome.
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:40,
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i think we all wereI've even made a celebratory banner
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:41,
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Woah hold on, have you thought this through?If I died, who'd you have barbecues with?
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:42,
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Well OK, but you know that an MK barbecue won't be as good as a London one, right?Sure, it might be cheaper, but it'll be a tiny indentikit box of a thing with a toilet sized "dual aspect" window nailed onto the side of the grill.
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:44,
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He's welcome at one of our vegecues at the commune.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:43,
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If you mean your penis, yes there will be some expression of free love after the eating and singing.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:45,
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I always do when I visit your place.Your wife really knows what she's doing.
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:45,
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You've always got my back.Want to be my best man at my wedding?
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:59,
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Oh man, do I?!This means I get a go on the bridesmaids, right?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:00,
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So you ARE marrying this young piece from your office then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:03,
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"Young piece"?She has a name you know. It's "office girl". Don't be so rude.
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:05,
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Hey battered do you want some advice about your marriage?blah blah blah I reckon blah blah blah, your child blah blah if it was me blah blah blah, in your position blah blah blah, as an internet expert blah blah blah blah I'm so alone blah blah blah etc etc
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:41, Reply)
I think it's important you pay attention to my online advice online.(, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:43, Reply)
The counsellor might be hot?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:42,
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Must be the best job for picking up hot chicks who are about to come into some money.(, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:45, Reply)
D'you think you need training for this shit?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:48,
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What could possibly be thick about paying £80/hour to sit there scowling and refusing to listen to advice?Except maybe asking us lot about it.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:59,
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Part of me still wants this to be the worst attempt at a long game troll that we've seen on here since SSG pretended to have cancer.But then, part of me is also really enjoying Battered systematically destroying everything that used to be good in his life, whilst giving us a running commentary.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:46, Reply)
much better to be self-sufficient and happily alonethan to stay married to the wrong person for the sake of it. ask anyone whose parents stayed together "for the children", they'll tell you with one voice that they wish their parents had just got on with it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:03,
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lots of people are terrified of being alonewhich is stupid. the happiest marriage on the planet is no guarantee that you won't end up with kids on the other side of the world/country and prematurely widowed.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:25,
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well in that case I'm getting divorced from my wife who has cancer(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:17,
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urgh, what an imagelike one of those little monkeys at the zoo going at it with a banana skin :(
alt: there is no point, except that it will help your wife feel validated. don't give her the satisfaction. if it works against the odds, hoorah. if it doesn't, she won't be able to screw you on the settlement by saying that you didn't even try to fix it.
altalt: i am off to sunny spain in about.... 2.5 weeks. hoorah.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:48,
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Do you sunbathe with your tits out to try and attract passing octagenerians with lots of cash and dodgy hearts?(, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:51, Reply)
noi don't want them to die before they've written the will
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:02,
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That would burger up your plans(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:05,
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Oh man, everybody's going on sunny holidays and leaving me at home.(
Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:52,
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we have a spare room in the villayou should come
you don't have to get your moobs out either
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:01,
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Reading this as:OH GOD, WTF IS THAT? PUT THEM AWAY!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:02,
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Sure!OK, no moobs. I'll have to remember to pack my bikini, then.
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:03,
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I have two days of scripting to do then a trip to Dumfries on ThursdayNext year will be abroad, I think
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 12:55,
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I've made a cracking saussage sandwich, you can have half if it'll make you feel better.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:01,
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Prick the skins before you cook them, then they won't crack.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:04,
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I distinctly remember an advert with a cunt tv chef that said "the trick is, not to prick them" I mean, I never prick sausages, just turn them almost constantly.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 May 2013, 13:18,
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i hate sausagesbut i did enjoy pricking them as a kid, when i was forced to eat them for dinner
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:24,
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What does your therapist make of this?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:26,
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i don't have onebut there is just something v satisfying in the sensation of the skin bursting
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:27,
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You shouldn't prick them, they dry out.That's a hangover from post war sausage casings which were dodgy. If you didn't prick them they'd burst hence the name 'bangers'. Long since irrelevant - but then you don't want sausage cooking tips from old Lida McYurtney up there anyway do ya?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:28,
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Tsk. Nothing? Not even for 'Linda McYurtney'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:41,
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You've probably added ice magic, marshmallow, green pepper & pickled eggs to it knowing your recipes.So no thanks.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:06,
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Chive'n'pork saussages baked in a sticky honey'n'mustard glaze on a bed of onions, in a stone-baked baggette, with a posh stinky brie and tomarto chutney.ACKSHALLIE
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:14,
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I'll have half of that if Batts don't want it(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:22,
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I've gone all 'street'. No more 'steampunk' for me!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:29,
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maybe your wife still holds a flame of love for you and wants to try and do everything she can to save the family for the sake of your daughter. But yeah, probably completely pointless.
Alt: can't think of anything too pointless.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 May 2013, 13:05,
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I don't think she does.You've met him (OR HAVE YOU), would you?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:12,
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I've not met him. If neither if them want to save the marriage, why would they bother with counselling? Or is this one of those things you have to go through to persuade whoever the relevant body is that the divorce is legit?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 May 2013, 13:16,
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more likely to persuade the court that you've acted reasonably when it comes to making a determination and awarding costsin my cynical view
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:23,
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so in who's favour does it work? batty boy or his lesbians wife? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 13 May 2013, 13:27,
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depends what happensi say go with a good grace, keep a careful record of what is discussed, then if nothing has changed after about 2 more sessions, explain carefully and rationally, with input from solicitor where required, that it is NOT WORKING YOU STUPID IRRATIONAL BITCH.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:31,
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This is the point.They were going for these sessions before the decision to bin the marriage was taken - now it has been, the sessions are completely pointless especially as they both now agree they want out.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:39,
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Unless his wife has decided to string him along for another year @ £4K pcm pocket money(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Nah he won't have it, he's not stupid (despite actually looking like a mong-browed Slav)(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:52,
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Hmm well we'll see what her solicitor says but I'm imagining the words 'in the manner to which she is accustomed' featuring prominently(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Pah, she owns their flat outright.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 14:04,
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God I'm bored.I've got fuck all to do because people above and below me are too busy to do the things they're meant to be doing.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)
Why not pass some time on the bbc website?Oh, hang on...
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:07,
Reply)
I AM ROFLING AT MY "set transaction isolation level read uncommitted"(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Oh manI do that via ODBC settings
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:10,
Reply)
I didn't know you could do that, most my SQL is just copied and pasted from google.(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Is this a 'computer person' insult?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:21,
Reply)
scsh and I both wore an Occulus rift at the weekend.Google image search it to see how cool we are.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)
I was mildly dissapointedat my inability to overcome the crippling motion sickness.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)
*Loads up Portal 2*(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:32,
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That's fucking cool, what demos did you do? I want a go, how did you get a go?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:28,
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A mutual friend got a development kit from kickstarter.Suprisingly good 3d and head tracking. We did the rollercoaster and some one where you walked around tuscany.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)
It's a shame i'm not that kind of dev, i'd love to play with one..... is he bringing it to your b'day by any chance ,)?There's some awesome tech coming up over the next month.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:34,
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We know someone who has one.Unfortunately the Resolution on it is pretty poor. It's kind like looking at a smart phone screen through a pair of binoculars.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Damn, what rez does it spit out? I don't think it would be comercially viable to make it Retina, but it would seriously help that issue.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:35,
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I understand it's the same screen as the Nexus 4.But alot of that is wasted as it essentially renders two orbs on the same screen. The lenses then zoom in on the orb and give the illusion of a 120 degrees of vision per eye.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Cool, I can't even picture in my head how they'd work out, will have to wait and see.I'd love to hear that they're working on it for the next-gen.
Once it goes wireless, imagine combining it with this: mashable.com/2013/05/12/mad-genius/
I've seen them use it on a omnidirectional treadmill too, that sounds cool.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
I dunno, I struggle getting a PS Move to work well in my living room. I think I'd struggle to fit all that gear in anywhere.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
This shows you sort of what's going onwww.dvice.com/sites/dvice/files/images/assets_c/2013/01/DSC_0910-thumb-330x227-109363.jpg
The nexus 4 panel shows exactly what's on the monitor there, and there are two lenses pointing to it and slightly distorting it.
(, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Just reading this post made me die inside a little(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:29,
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Or that is a particularly aggressive form of cancer you have spreading through you?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:31,
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Sounds like a fucking Harry Potter spell(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:31,
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Yes.It refers to a type of person that calls themselves a "hacker". Where all they do is copy/paste somebody else's "hacks" off Google instead of writing their own malicious code.
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Kroney, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:23,
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Oh this is HILARIOUS!!!!I expect
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:38,
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I'd cancel the fuckerWaste of money. You know what, ask her to pay for it if she wants to do it. If you want out of the marriage no spastic counsellor is going to help.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:11,
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My thinking entirely.How is the hangover?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:13,
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Gone as well ta.£80 is a lot of baby clothes/nappies. Don't throw it away.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:20,
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Or beer. I could about 18 pints in the NLT for that. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:24,
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I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:26,
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altalt: hopefully going to DER FATHERLAND for a week at the end of June(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:23,
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i thought monty was from swindon?he says winchester, but we all KNOW
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:26,
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He was born in Nottingham, mi'duck(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:29,
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Darth and Monty sitting in a treeF I S T I N G
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:30,
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While Harters sits there typingTee hee
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:33,
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sorry, it's just your accentit breathes SWIIIIIIIIIINDOOOOOOOOON into the ear
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:37,
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ROIGHT YEW BAAAST'RD OI'LL FERKIN SMAAACK YEW OI WILL(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:41,
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The HARSHEST of sick burns(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:36,
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I'M *THIS* CLOSE TO FLOUNCING(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:36,
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I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT I'M UPSET ABOUT IT ALL THE SAME(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:40,
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i think swindon is worse than pompeyat least pompey has the seaside. swindon just has warehouses. and an alarming proximity to wales.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:38,
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Only Southampton is worse than Pompey.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:40,
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Alt: Several meetings. Always pointless.AltAlt: Norway in a couple of months, San Diego after that. Oh joy.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 May 2013, 13:54,
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