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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am miserable today, please cheer me up kthx
alt: I am miserable today, please compound my miserable with cruel jokes kthx
altalt: put a donk on it
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:20,
155 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
No
(
Peej, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
Nakkers what's the plural for butt plug?
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
QUICK NAKKERS, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT!!!
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
butt plugs?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:23,
Reply)
Sure it's not butts plug?
It's a matter of life and death, I need to accurately describe to the paramedics what happened to your mum.
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
hahaha
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
oh man, that was totally worth the convaluted set up
well done
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
Cheers mate!
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:34,
Reply)
that would be one multi-ended plug though surely
like neptune's trident for anuses
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
Hahaha
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:09,
Reply)
Awww why are you miserable Nakers?
Might I suggest fucking off and killing yourself?
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
you might, i'd rather come round your new flat and set fire to it while you're in there though xx
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
You're just mad that I cancelled the barbecue
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
hence the flaming death
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
So, like, when I move in, do you, like, wanna come over and, like, have a beer?
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
you won't make me do "high end gaming" will you?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
Nope! Strictly low end.
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
I thought it was still on and we were just pretending it was cancelled, so some guy you don't like won't come?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
No, I've actually got no garden.
I was going to improvise with one of the fireplaces, but apparently we're not allowed to use them :(
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Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
S'ok, I never eat at these things anyway.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
you can eat meat if it's still raw though right?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:33,
Reply)
As long as there is a chance that a good vet could revive it, yes.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:38,
Reply)
and that your honour
is why I was beneath the horse.
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:39,
Reply)
Hey Nakers,
I've just sat down with a beer to write tonights quiz. It is a zesty Very Pale Ale, almost looks like water. delicious though.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
I want a beer :o(
Is there a theme to the quiz?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
I hope its the theme to kickstart
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
Which one?
I am all over that shit at the moment.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
Portobello Brewery, Very Pale Ale
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
That looks right up my street.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:33,
Reply)
it is lovely.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:56,
Reply)
sounds good for a day time tipple
how's your career change going
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
it's all stalled a little bit if i'm honest,
i had the weekend off and got drunk instead of doing something about it.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
I don't think anyone will blame you for this course of action.
'Cept maybe Rory.
He's so preachy.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
yeah, i've pretty much decided what I'm going to do, it's just about timing and money now.
my pop will pay for the course, but i still need to have a bit in the bank to be out of work for a bit.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:33,
Reply)
i take it theres no way you can do the course part time
and therefore continue to work. I would have thought that running the bar would mean you get to organise afternoons off etc.
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
i could,
i think, but would be very difficult to do around my hours here really. Although i don't do a hell of a lot in the day time, i don't think i could sit and do the coursework and stuff.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
I would suggest giving it a go like that first though
that way you get to try the course (you might find you fucking hate it)and still keep the money coming in. I did my MCDST while carrying on my normal job but then got promoted so decided against becoming a spotty nerd full time
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
i'll look in to the part time courses as well then,
but as it's practical stuff i imagine a lot of it will be clasroom time, and as one of the main reasons for doing this is spending more time at home, using my days off to travel to wherever the course is based might be the bullet that kills my home life.
But i will look in to it, thanks for your advice.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
What is it you're thinking of doing?
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
YM
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:38,
Reply)
what sporto said
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
Serves me right for trying to show some genuine interest in my fellow man.
prick.
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
sorry,
i'm going to go and do a 4 week intense training course that will end with city and guilds qualifications.
At the moment i'm still not sure exactly what in, but most likely do the residential and commercial electrical install course. seems the most likely to be finding work.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
I didnt realise you were Polish
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
well, i'm not,
but the fella i spoke to that did the course walked out and in to a job with southern electric, his own van, all tools paid blah blah. oh why am i bothering.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:51,
Reply)
for all the fucking work that Southern Electric do
Just buy yourself a van and sit in a café all day long with it parked outside...
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:53,
Reply)
it's either that or go self employed, and do the same thing but be poor.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:55,
Reply)
I don't care, soz
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Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:50,
Reply)
fair.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:51,
Reply)
Why are you miserable, my friend?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
work is getting me down, lost motivation completely
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
Fuck off from your desk and get a coffee and some cake
Then have a sit
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
just finished my coffee and can't even have a cup of tea as we only have earl grey :(((((
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
Might I suggest you write a letter to Ethiopia
and explain to them exactly how your life is so awful?
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
i don't speak forrin
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:32,
Reply)
Welcome to my life four years ago
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
Nakers is a virgin?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
Shut uuuuuuuuup
(
Kroney, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
Just go home.
That's what I do.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
actually I'm at home...that might not be helping tbh
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
Just go to the pub.
That's what Battered does.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
THIS!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
he seems very happy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
Much happier than I was a few weeks ago.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
It's really clear to see actually, good on you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
Ta.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
+ [!]
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:32,
Reply)
I will be in an hour & a half.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
Nakers come here lemmy give you a hug
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
i won't catch facial warts will I?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
Not twice, no
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
the joke
your
motorhead
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
NO YOURN ARN
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
Are they like crabs?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
Listen to some Burzum.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
I like burzams
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
googles
ah ok, I see. Thanks
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
I find the music of Shakin' Stevens to be a guaranteed antidote to the glums.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
i only know his chrsitmas song
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
Green Door and This Ole House'll sort you out.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
You need to get on that Wales' answer to Elvis shit, bro
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:34,
Reply)
His first big gig was supporting the Rolling Stones, fact fans.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:52,
Reply)
There's lovely for you.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:56,
Reply)
Kill yourself.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
find a dog, stroke it
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
then kill yourself
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
I might go and see if crosby is home
he's a boston terrier and snorts like a pig
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
Fuck a horse
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
Fuck a duck
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
Screw a gnu
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
Pork a hawk
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
Shag a nag
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:42,
Reply)
Screw a shrew
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:42,
Reply)
PLEASE STOP THIS NOW.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
wrestle an Action Man
no offence
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
Hump a grump
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
+y
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:44,
Reply)
anger a wanger
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:44,
Reply)
toss a hoss
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
Make the pony moany
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
Go down on a grouse
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
Yeah good rhyming 'Pam Ayres'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
rape an ape
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:53,
Reply)
:(
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:54,
Reply)
:o)
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:56,
Reply)
my top class zings here will cheer you up:
b3ta.com/questions/emergencyservices/post1969513#answers-post-1969944
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
very good but needs more Emvee
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
I'm enjoying a pint of pyder. That's perry and cider mix.
Then I'm off for dinner in one of those "theme" restaurants, where there's only 2 courses on offer. Whole lobster, chips and dressed green salad. Or 12oz ribeye, chips and dressed green salad. Probably go for the lobster.
Happy yet poppet?
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
Pyder?
Fuck's sake.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:44,
Reply)
yeah it's nice.
Traditional scrumpy and perry. Not shit perry, like Babycham. If they still even make it. Should try it hippy.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
No fucking way on earth - I'm not bent, soz
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
What's your drink of choice then?
Special Brew or Ace cider?
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
Cognac
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
Is this like posh snakebite.
Only not posh
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
It's a real ale beardy thing.
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Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
Having been brought up on Brown Ale it put me reet off it as a whole.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
when I was a teenager lots of people drank Newkie Brown.
Fucking horrible stuff.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:50,
Reply)
I prefer Double Maxim
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:52,
Reply)
Why was it so ubiquitous in alternative clubs?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:53,
Reply)
because they can feel like a bad ass and order "a bottle of dog" while the bartender calls them a cunt when their back is turned
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:54,
Reply)
+ surreptitiously rubs his bellend round the top of the bottle
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:54,
Reply)
this was more 'drinking and smoking hash in the cathedral grounds' years
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:54,
Reply)
Happy days.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:55,
Reply)
They sure were.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:56,
Reply)
Oxford University parks for me thanks
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:56,
Reply)
One of the perks of being a park cleaner I suppose. Nice one!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:58,
Reply)
pear cider,
it's called pear cider.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 May 2013, 15:52,
Reply)
Have a look at the vid of the woman thinking her dog is dead in the tornado
only to have it appear from the rubble.
heart warming stuff that almost makes you forget all the dead kids.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:45,
Reply)
after that did a load of flying monkeys turn up?
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
Do you mind?
We call them the 'African-American Air Ambulance Service' these days.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
Click
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:50,
Reply)
I don't think we're in Oklahoma anymore
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
If it makes you feel better
this morning I spent a mere 5 hours solving an issue that several people had spent 5 months failing to fix.
(
Peej, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:55,
Reply)
How to make your wife orgasm?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:57,
Reply)
clkicky
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:58,
Reply)
shit in her cunt
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:58,
Reply)
AH, THERE HE IS
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:59,
Reply)
Another day nearly done!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:00,
Reply)
another day closer to death in other words
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:02,
Reply)
Stunned is close enough to count it in hours.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:05,
Reply)
minut...
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:06,
Reply)
Hi Battered!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:07,
Reply)
well done you
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 15:58,
Reply)
All your emo moaning has put everyone off posting.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:12,
Reply)
this got a lot of replies akshully
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:15,
Reply)
Bloody emo.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:16,
Reply)
Bloody 'omo, MORE LIKE
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:17,
Reply)
+ telling you to kill yourself
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:16,
Reply)
What a cunt, eh readers?
PEAR TUESDAY, ruined for everyone.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:16,
Reply)
He certainly pared down the posts!!?!
amirite?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:17,
Reply)
^ this guy gets it!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:18,
Reply)
Anjou sick of him?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:18,
Reply)
ho HO!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:22,
Reply)
seckel of him, MORE LIKE!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 May 2013, 16:22,
Reply)
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